OGSF Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Bastarrrds! Soggy bags o' slop. Shufflin' wearers o' tattered leotards. Gap-toothed spittle sprayers. An' noo tae a wee quaistion.. Wha's tha difference batween broccoli an' snot? Answer...wee bairns didnae eat broccoli. Di' Ah mainshun ye were bastarrds? (Tha bonnie lassies excaipted o' course) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by OGSF: Soggy bags o' slop. Shufflin' wearers o' tattered leotards. Gap-toothed spittle sprayers. So...that's the OGSF choice of apparel for today? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: always a bridesmaid, never a brideThank you for haunting me with a disturbing image of you in a full bridal dress. Steve</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malakovski Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 I imagine nothing revolts the pooldwellers more than chumminess and compliments, especially among those whose wit and grace so obviously exceeds their own. Therefore... Originally posted by Seanachai: Very nice indeed, Squire. Many thanks, gentle liege, for what would a squire of the Bardic House be, could he not fashion rough words into soaring creations of sublime poesy and powerful prose, beating out fine phrases and subtly undulating meter between the Hammer of Wit and the Anvil of Reason, his hand ever guided by the sweet breath of the Muses, with respectful regard to whom, as you say, 'tis better to err on the side of chaste caution, eyes downcast, voice a-tremble, than to be unbecomingly forward. Also, I rather liked your poem. Some nice couplets (a bit doggerel, but not the worst, by any stretch). Subject material wore a bit thin in points, but this place will do that to you. A more complex rhyme and meter than the ghastly couplets which pass for poetry from most of these scum seemed a fine way to gently but firmly assert what poetic imbeciles they all are. Naturally too much poetic power would have overwhelmed their meager aesthetic sensibilities, so I kept the subject matter close to home for them--drunkenness, filth, and buggery. As my first essay was so pleasing to my liege, I can only look forward to a long and glorious career in his service, full of hope that this will be as irksome and painful to my peers as it is pleasant to ourselves. [ October 10, 2002, 02:43 AM: Message edited by: Malakovski ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Malakovski: I imagine nothing revolts the pooldwellers more than chuminess and compliments, Actually, nothing revolts us more than you. But nice try. Have a cookie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malakovski Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Malakovski: I imagine nothing revolts the pooldwellers more than chuminess and compliments, Actually, nothing revolts us more than you. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Malapropism: I imagine nothing revolts the pooldwellers more than someone who misuses words to feather their own ego. This encourages me to be less discerning of subject and style, and perhaps to drone on for longer than is my wont...malapropism \Mal"a*prop*ism\, n. [From Mrs. Malaprop, a character in Sheridan's drama, "The Rivals," who makes amusing blunders in her use of words. See Malapropos.] <U>A grotesque misuse of a word</U>; a word so used. Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc. Your only saving grace is that your name fits your description to a "t". However, and furthermore, <U>grotesque</U> ain't the HALF of it! I rest my case. Jailer - bring in the next halfwit for persecution. AJ [ October 10, 2002, 03:10 AM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malakovski Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: \Mal"a*prop*ism\, n. [From Mrs. Malaprop, a character in Sheridan's drama, "The Rivals," who makes amusing blunders in her use of words. See Malapropos.] <U>A grotesque misuse of a word</U>; a word so used. Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.I can scarcely believe this scene, Ozzelfidge here, hunched over a dictionary, trying to read between the brown stains of his drool, his tenuous stream of consciousness constantly interrupted by the ear-splitting sounds of his own flatulence, slowly pecking at the keys with one thick finger. That he knows the alphabet well enough to find "M" is less than a fortnight defies reason, yet here is the proof. Has one of you been tutoring him nights and weekends? Alas, I can puzzle over this no longer. I retire for the evening, and leave you halfwits of nether time-zones to play with the linguistic trinkets I have left you. Enjoy. And turn your bloody maps right side up. Idjits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Mace: Yeh, yeh, happy birthday. If you were down here in Oz I'd take you to the pub at lunchtime and shout you beer. Fortunately for me (and my wallet) you're not. MaceHey Mace I'm down here in Oz and I have birthdays too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Has the demented Minnesotan ever put up a list or a picture of cards received? I would like to see how my tasteful offering fitted in with the no doubt horrific and abysmal examples of tasteless dimwittedness offered for his perusal by the assembled twats here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Speedy: Hey Mace I'm down here in Oz and I have birthdays too! Please let me know what day that is so I may send you a blivet. [ October 10, 2002, 07:54 AM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: Only place I was ever able to even acquire that ****e was Ohio, where the doctors will write you a prescription for anything, if you can page through a PDR and come up with some sort of condition for which it might be applicable, no matter how discredited.You say it like this is a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Malakovski: Hark, fools, and observe conduct which shines above your vile deeds, most especially Panty Leader’s shameless sucking up. It is a good thing he is suffering so under my prep barrage else I would have to bombard him here with words of abuse far weightier than 152mm shells. Thus, Knights, Squires, and scum, scrape the wax from your festering ears and turn those glassy, stupid eyes hither, for time has some for me to offer unworthy greetings and pledge loyal service to the noble Ladies of the Pool, whom I in humility am unfit to name. Ladies, I am humbly at thy service, in awe of the sacrifice you must make in simply being here, among such foul company, and am indeed overwhelmed by the depths of your charity, for what else can willing association of the fine with such vile ones be but a charity which puts to shame the suffering of saints, dwarfs the kindness of those who care for lepers, and generally defies belief. Yet I am filled with hope that even one as unworthy as myself might be ennobled by your notice, as the great tradition of the troubadours teaches. The others, of course, will rot in a hell of their own making, but that is solely in testament to the pure blackness of their hearts, and in no way reflects the sublime effects of your ministrations, which though pure and true, finer than gold, alack, can only help the willing. These wretched ones here, like Satan defying God, curse and spit with every action upon the goodness you offer and symbolize, choosing of their own perverted but free wills to stay in the mire. For them Paradise will ever be lost.I don't know about the rest of his academic credentials, but he does have a Ph.D. in Sucking-Up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Malakovski: The Cambridge Dictionary says: "niggle (CRITICIZE) verb to criticize (someone) about small details or give too much attention to details Make sure the document is perfect - she'll niggle endlessly to find mistakes. (I) The accounts department has been niggling me for ten cents which I owe them. (T) niggle noun © I do have a few minor niggles (=criticisms) about the book but generally it's very good. niggling adjective (before n) Repairing watches can be a niggling job (=one which needs a lot of attention to detail) but that's part of the challenge." A delightful word, nothing to do with the other N word, from which, though it does passingly resemble, it is entymologically unrelated.Christ on a crutch, who let the language-grog in here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: I'll have you both know that I quit felching in white.Glad to see you cured that fashion faux pas. It just isn't done after Labor Day. SSN Hint Of The Day: Slouch. Now sod off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Papa Khann: As requested by "He Who Has Obviously Lost What Little Mind He Had", otherwise known as Old Foul Joe PapaJoe, this wasn't just cruel...it wasn't just sick...it was extremely weird...</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Oh my God (Christ on a crutch with a fish in each hand) if things get any more pompous in here, we will need to design a "Smoking-cess Jacket" with matching fez. Perhaps we could start grading each other's posts (on a curve of course) according to how often we use words like "vapid" and "forsooth." I always knew that one day Red-belly Smurfachai (I just like that one, OK?) would get too big for his little red britches and would turn this into a think-tank of Enlightenment proportions. He always had that tragically-hip, bee-stung lips, tuberculosis-suffering allure. To think that he's finally gone over the edge and has started wooing little Malakovsky like the Camille that he is! But not us, lads and lords! Do not go gentle into that good knight! We must fight, kicking and screaming against the sad dust of forgotten lore which is quickly choking us. Like Sid Vicious rebelling against...uh...you know, like him, we must tear down the flacid, whimsical trappings of this cesspool and staple our posters, fling our paint throw garbage on the walls even! I have lived too long under the gilded chains of pleasant society. I seek robbers and brigands, there to throw in my lot. For 'tis better to live fast and die young, and leave a good-lookin' corpse, than to never live at all. Stuffed shirts: Pfffft! O' Joe, this includes you just for the sake of completeness: Damned. Next! Oh Malakovsky, four posts in a row without a reply from you, keep it up! **Note: No Ladies were disparaged or insulted in the making of this diatribe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: ... we will need to design a "Smoking-cess Jacket"Hmmmmm...gives this one an idea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Papa Khann: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley: That makes me as chipper as a parakeet on Dexadrine!I'll believe the parakeet part when I see your picture, Boo. Papa</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: ...we have yet to get a gander at your own, bad self...My dear Boo-Boo, your barb impales me. Are you not aware of the esteem in which I hold you? Rest assured, little Boo_Rattly, you'd only be subjected to the "good self". Papa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Wildman Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: Scenario from the CD okay, deadman?[/QB]Of course I have absolutely not preference with what or who I kill you with. So pick your poison, Gridly, and let your agony begin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Christ on a crutch, who let the language-grog in here...The true language-grog uses his resources with an aesthetically pleasing economy. Don't be fooled by logorrheic poseurs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Gentlemen..{Hack, cough...gasp}, A quick note to inform everyone of the brutal dispatch of one dalem. Attacking, in an early war scenario, with the advantage of T-34's, he succumbed to the massed might of my little red wagons with guns. Somehow, my motley gathering of armored cars, pre-war Czech tanks, and PzIII's send his godless hordes of T-34's running...or should I say the crews. Oh, did I mention that my company of defending infantry literally never raised their heads? I think they fell asleep sometime around turn 4. Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Anyone remember Dave Aitkin's email? I was gonna give him a buzz and see if he'd be up for a rumble in the Ukraine. I always liked that whiny, groggish bastid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: ...Perhaps we could start grading each other's posts (on a curve of course) according to how often we use words like "vapid" and "forsooth." ..We must fight, kicking and ...throw garbage on the walls ...never live at all. Panzer Leader, you idiot, I would be hard-pressed to find a bigger pillock in the MBT than you, including all the Oddstralyuns. And yet... you hate us. You've always hated us, ever since your idiotic "Peng Bastids" thread, when you didn't understand this place (not that you understand it now). And we all hate you, pretty much, for being the useless punter that you are. You are a clueless prat, and yet you seem to fit into this assemblage of gits, losers and layabouts (however accidentally). Others, less so. Others appear here and make protestations of intellect, wave about their "high-falutin' fancy-talk" as though the Mutha-beautiful thread were some sort of competition to be won. Such juvenile misapprehension! Like life, the Cesspool never leads to victory, but inevitably to death--and death only. No, the Peng Challenge is called the Cesspool for good reason. This is not some playground of good-natured ribbing we jocularly term a waste-pit, like a wood-paneled basement rec room with stacks of old pizza boxes and empty beer bottles. It's a pit of filth, filled with embittered idjits, losers all who forsake earthly happiness for the sake of the immense hatred they bear one another. And for what eternal reward? Only the grave, the chewing of worms on decomposing flesh of a life wasted. Like life, the Cesspool is futile--only more so. Staying here isn't about bon mots and badinage, it's about embracing the insanity of a futile existence by hating your fellow git with your entire being. If you haven't come here to hate, go home. We have too many fancy-boys already. Agua Perdido [sorry to get all sappy, but I got out of a traffic ticket today and I just really hate all of you.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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