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For whom the Peng Challenges


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Guest PondScum
Originally posted by Nestor:

<font size=-1>You are ‘slow turret’ personified.</font>

Ouch. That's going to leave a mark.
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Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

I've been thinking about making a Jack-O-Lantern out of a turnip this year and entering it in a car show.

Gaylord, what a great idea! The Ladies need some decorating to be done for the Cesspool halloween party. You will be in charge of all the decorating. And we will need lots of jack-o-lanterns carved...you can use turnips if that's your preference...get to it!

Persephone

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Ah! I have been locked out of the forum all day. I actually had to work at work today. Disgusting.

Nearly as disgusting as the torrent of verbal-excrement which has flooded the thread in my absense. As much of it was directed at me, I take it as a plea for help, clearly begging the boon of my enlightened philosophical dispensations. I will not be remiss in my clear duty to the unenlightened, but now I have time for only a few words. I know it pains you all.

Originally posted by Seanachai:

He sounds like a worthless lout, surrounded by the stench of disease--venerial no doubt--and unfit to shovel the ****e of his master's steeds. Still, puts him head and shoulders above the rest of this lot--I will gladly defend him against all comers.

I shall give it my full attention tomorrow. A fine, lengthy piece which is sure to please you all immensely. Yes, immensely.

Ah...poesy. I've not yet treated you mindless muck-dwellers to a single line of verse. Pearls before swine, I'm sure, but perhaps if I go on for long enough it will start to sink in...
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Really, Panzer Ninny try not to get your panties all in a wad. Just take care of the infidel and not bother us.

As for that gamey Bastige, Speedy, I'll have you know that lightning strikes by light armor is all the Allies have.

Of course, your the only one backing an uberPanther away from said Stuart. I'm really quite suprised that you knew there was a reverse command. Quite stunning, actually ol' boy.

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Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

So you want to attempt Hill 213.9 do you?

____________________________________________

I not only want to attempt it, but to conquer it as well, I await the completion of your self-proclaimed masterpiece battle.

If Gaylord Focker is more interested in making jack o lanterns than in sending me a turn, then so be it, he should be banished to his straw mat, and only permitted to surface when the Ladies of the Thread need some demeaning chore or two to be completed. Then again cleaning the scum from the floor of the cesspool with his tongue would be too good for him.

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

Nearly as disgusting as the torrent of verbal-excrement which has flooded the thread in my absense. As much of it was directed at me, I take it as a plea for help, clearly begging the boon of my enlightened philosophical dispensations. I will not be remiss in my clear duty to the unenlightened, but now I have time for only a few words. I know it pains you all.

<big><big> OH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA</big></big>,snort...Oh, deary dear, dear, dear. That was quite amusing my dear Malapropism!

You know, I can just tell that the days of me not taking you seriously won't be coming to an end for a very long time.

That was so rich!

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

Ah! I have been locked out of the forum all day. I actually had to work at work today. Disgusting.

Nearly as disgusting as the torrent of verbal-excrement which has flooded the thread in my absense. As much of it was directed at me, I take it as a plea for help, clearly begging the boon of my enlightened philosophical dispensations. I will not be remiss in my clear duty to the unenlightened, but now I have time for only a few words. I know it pains you all.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Your seniour in the Bardic House is R Leete. He should be a Knight by now, but between finding a job (done), constant illness (hopefully behind him), and a completely daft project to build a drivable, working Tiger I model (ongoing), he hasn't enough higher brain function to feel comfortable with rising to his full potential.

And who's fault would that be, hmmm? Zero constructive instruction, constant badgering about the lack of singing, and endless hours polishing armor tainted by wallowing in the outerboards. What do I get? A mile long sig file, and the miserable task to try to entice Slapdragon back to finish a game. Oh, joy. Not that it was too difficult, as he is a pillock Mk I (the MkIV pillock is still AWOL).

At least I have a job, oh vertically challenged one. Granted, I'm a technical whore for Kelly services, but they pay on time; what little there is, anyway.

The tank project is still progressing, but will be put on hold for the annual venison harvest. Can't let them rot in the field, after all the work planting, donchaknow.

Know ye one and all, that I am now the proud owner of a brand-spanking-new air compressor. Craftsman, tools for manly men. Noisy, rattling tools, to better annoy the neighbors. I can now experience all the windyness of my lord, without the horrible halitosis.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

While many men would doubtless flex and posture at the idea of being suddenly granted the muscular (and disturbingly furry) body of Nicholas Cage (as represented in Persephone's base slander against my own form), I know myself to be more than just some body for women to make dog noises over!

You see, I have a mind.

WOOF WOOF Sex on legs and with a brain thrown in........

Nic never sounded or looked so good... except of course when wearing his black leather outfit..

Hubba Bubba...........

Nice pic Persephone and Seanacoochie you're quite right of course... A great mind can be as much of a turn on as a six pack....

Nice to know I still have some hot blood running through my veins.

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Originally posted by Nestor:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:

I come back to this place of verbal abuse and malformed DNA strains in the hope of finding, one Gaylord Focker.....

<small>Ni</small> (can I call you <small>Ni</small>) Gaylord was last seen heading for his straw mattress on Saturday, having had a hissy fit about something and then got all emotional and blubby when he came back to apologise, citing lack of sleep. Persephone has sent him to bed for a month.

This leaves me serfing for both Ladies of the Pool and believe me when I tell you that they take one hell of a lot of serfing. Since I seem to be doing everything else for Gaylord at the moment, I will see if I can fit you in for a Panzer slapping of some description should you wish it, but I couldn’t possibly manage this before Friday!

Now, if there’s nothing else I must get back to Lady Emma’s knickers. She wants them all ironed before the end of the day – what strange twist of the evolutionary step-ladder decreed that women would be predisposed towards ironing underwear I wonder. Very strange.

No Mace, you can’t ‘buy’ a few pairs.</font>

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Well, finally the forum is back up. Yes, Mace I know you are way higher in the CMBB bragging ladder than I am, but if you are too dim to take advantage of that fact, that's your fault. I however, plan to milk it for all it's worth. To Panzer Slayer , yes I noticed the missing spare, it was on the model, I don't know why they left it off. And for whoever was complaining about there 222 blowing up on them, that was the secret "feature" I incorporated into the paint, invisible to the eye, but the scanner would interpret as code and become incorporated into the 3D model. Then, when it detected a useless pillock type attempting to use the model, would spontaneously explode. I am glad to see it working so well. Be warned however, that it is programmed to spread to other armoured units, so you will soon be unable to so much as touch anything with wheels.

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Guest PondScum
Originally posted by Roborat:

<font size=-1>And for whoever was complaining about there 222 blowing up on them, that was the secret "feature" I incorporated into the paint, invisible to the eye, but the scanner would interpret as code and become incorporated into the 3D model. Then, when it detected a useless pillock type attempting to use the model, would spontaneously explode. I am glad to see it working so well.</font>

That'd be Papa Kahn, and yes, his mortar-round-attracting 222's featured prominently in the battle for Cemetery Hill. Also featuring prominently were a lot of dead Germans (his), and a lot of happy vodka-swilling Russians (mine). If the rest of June '41 is as easy as this, comrades, we'll be in Berlin by August!

(In all seriousness, that scenario might just be a tad unbalanced in favor of the defender. By the merest of smidgens, a trifle here and a hairs-breadth there. Oh, and probably a company short. Anyway, how the bastage managed to scrape together 20 points I'll never know.)

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

Ah...poesy. I've not yet treated you mindless muck-dwellers to a single line of verse.

Keep it that way.

So, now you are Seanachai's squire. If I had a heart, I'd feel sorry for you.

With him as your leige, the slovic name will have to go. Let's see, what might be appropriate... philosopher huh...

BRUCE!

[ October 08, 2002, 11:56 PM: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]

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An Ode to Old Foul Joe

----------------------

The Justicar walked to a bar

to find a glass of brew.

The Keep stood up and filled his cup

with rare old mountain dew.

"What's in that pot, you bloody sot?"

the Justicar did say.

"Of the finest stuff I've never enough

that they do brew in Tay."

"It tastes like piss," the cur did hiss,

his eyes shot through with blood.

"You don't like that, then have this vat

of peaty moss and mud."

And so he ate, and cleaned his plate,

then was on his way.

To bugger sheep, catch some sleep,

and thus complete his day.

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Originally posted by Nidan1:

Is it real beer?... or that distilled liquid made from the spoor of those hopping creatures that you guys call beer?

Those hopping creatures aren't called beer, they're called Kangaroos (or Wallabees).

Mace

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Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:

Is it real beer?... or that distilled liquid made from the spoor of those hopping creatures that you guys call beer?

Those hopping creatures aren't called beer, they're called Kangaroos (or Wallabees).

Mace</font>

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I came in to work this morning and decided to check the forums and what did I find? Not just one, but TWO Aussie Jeff threads in the outerboards.

At first, I was outraged, but then I realized that if his recent bout of modding keeps him out of the MBT, it's not an entirely bad thing, now is it?

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