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Originally posted by Malakovski:

Even prose is too good for you.

Try doggerel then.

"There was an Old Man with a Beard,

Who said: "I demand to be feared.

Address Me as God,

And love Me, you sod!"

And Man did just that, which is weird."

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Hark, fools, and observe conduct which shines above your vile deeds, most especially Panty Leader’s shameless sucking up. It is a good thing he is suffering so under my prep barrage else I would have to bombard him here with words of abuse far weightier than 152mm shells.

Thus, Knights, Squires, and scum, scrape the wax from your festering ears and turn those glassy, stupid eyes hither, for time has some for me to offer unworthy greetings and pledge loyal service to the noble Ladies of the Pool, whom I in humility am unfit to name.

Ladies, I am humbly at thy service, in awe of the sacrifice you must make in simply being here, among such foul company, and am indeed overwhelmed by the depths of your charity, for what else can willing association of the fine with such vile ones be but a charity which puts to shame the suffering of saints, dwarfs the kindness of those who care for lepers, and generally defies belief.

Yet I am filled with hope that even one as unworthy as myself might be ennobled by your notice, as the great tradition of the troubadours teaches.

The others, of course, will rot in a hell of their own making, but that is solely in testament to the pure blackness of their hearts, and in no way reflects the sublime effects of your ministrations, which though pure and true, finer than gold, alack, can only help the willing. These wretched ones here, like Satan defying God, curse and spit with every action upon the goodness you offer and symbolize, choosing of their own perverted but free wills to stay in the mire. For them Paradise will ever be lost.

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

Hark, fools, and observe conduct which shines above your vile deeds, most especially Panty Leader’s shameless sucking up. It is a good thing he is suffering so under my prep barrage else I would have to bombard him here with words of abuse far weightier than 152mm shells.

Thus, Knights, Squires, and scum, scrape the wax from your festering ears and turn those glassy, stupid eyes hither, for time has some for me to offer unworthy greetings and pledge loyal service to the noble Ladies of the Pool, whom I in humility am unfit to name.

Ladies, I am humbly at thy service, in awe of the sacrifice you must make in simply being here, among such foul company, and am indeed overwhelmed by the depths of your charity, for what else can willing association of the fine with such vile ones be but a charity which puts to shame the suffering of saints, dwarfs the kindness of those who care for lepers, and generally defies belief.

Yet I am filled with hope that even one as unworthy as myself might be ennobled by your notice, as the great tradition of the troubadours teaches.

The others, of course, will rot in a hell of their own making, but that is solely in testament to the pure blackness of their hearts, and in no way reflects the sublime effects of your ministrations, which though pure and true, finer than gold, alack, can only help the willing. These wretched ones here, like Satan defying God, curse and spit with every action upon the goodness you offer and symbolize, choosing of their own perverted but free wills to stay in the mire. For them Paradise will ever be lost.

I would rather serve in Hell, than listen to anymore of this drivel.
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Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Malakovski:

the articulate must stick together, rocks amidst the surging sea of idiocy...

...and you no doubt belong to the latter given the 'waves' you are making here.

Mace</font>

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Malakovski stated (in part: Even prose is too good for you.
Excellent, we can count on you leaving then? Soon may we hope? Or failing that at least, according to your own statement, we can surely expect a diminution in the length of your posts?

Today may not turn out to be so bad after all.

Joe

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Guest PondScum
Originally posted by Papa Khann:

<font size=-1>Quite simply, PondSlum, I scraped together 20 points in that lopsided, underhanded debacle you refer to as a game of CM by the righteous labor of my superior tactical awareness. Rotten gamey bastiche with your 50mm mortars and their homing rounds. I say I was setup, robbed, bamboozled! And on top of all that, you didn't even warn me that you're a rotten gamey tactics using grog wannabe.

I demand a rematch, you festering pile of grog porn perusing putrescence. Choose something and send it my way.</font>

So, we're stooping to TACTICS insults, are we? You're on, you horrible little man. The next on the list is... oh, look, it's another little German attack! In June 1941. With churches and graveyards. And what a surprise, it's ALSO by our very own Andreas.

You don't think he's OBSESSED or anything, do you?

This time you shall take the defending forces of oppression and really cool 50mm mortars, and I shall take the attacking forces of plunder and fancy uniforms, in Gefechtsaufklaerung (did Hakko Ichiu get another sneeze for his birthday?).

I fully expect lots of screaming and running away, and when we're done we can insult Andreas about just how unbalanced his scenarios are, the little commie-loving swine.

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

How little you know! My posts will only grow, and grow, and grow.

The only way to slow them is to send me a game. Of course, then you will have to bear the indignity of a humiliating defeat, but as reason seems to offend you brutes more than a good drubbing, I'm sure it will be an easy choice for you.

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

All sorts of verbosity, to the point where if the volitile gases inside him were ever to explode, we would probably run about shouting "Oh, the humanity!" and use other Hindenburg-like references to mark the occasion.

Just a guess, but you have lots of time on your hands, don't you? Do you work for the state?
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Posted by the Brightest young Star of the Eighteenth Century:

...and in no way reflects the sublime effects of your ministrations...

Oh sure, right as we start to believe that you'll treat this touchy subject with honour and subtlety, you go and get all... oogy on us. You're SICK!!!!

Hey does anybody else feel like they're walking down the long dusty corridors of libraries long since sacked and burned when he speaks? I swear his middle name is Bysshe.

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Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Oh no, better yet, I work in the glamorous entertainment industry. It's so glamorous they think they can justfiy paying us in beans.

Since I make my living exporting horrible (and I mean horrible) American films to unsuspecting places like Iceland and those silly Balkan countries, I make up for it by posting fine and enlightening prose in this thread.

So really, I look at this as part of my work.

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

How little you know!

My posts will only grow,

and grow,

and grow.

An example of Malakovski's sterling wit

Was his theory that farts could be lit,

And it's said that all night

By the flickering light,

He composed his "Critique of Pure ****e".

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Originally posted by Lars:

An example of Malakovski's sterling wit

Was his theory that farts could be lit,

And it's said that all night

By the flickering light,

He composed his "Critique of Pure ****e".

Where's that Justicad now? That, that is a fine example of verse. Short, pithy, to the point.

Exemplary subject matter as well.

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

I make up for it by posting fine and enlightening prose in this thread.

G'wan with ya now! Where? In here? Did I miss it? What page was it on? You goofin' on me again, you lil' pistol?

Meanwhile, in another stygian corner of the Pool...

Hey Aussie Jeff, can you take your nose out of your "Modding For Dummies" book for a moment and send be a fewkin' move???

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That's because your still lost in those "Summer Days" where "Stayin' Alive" was the best, be-all, end-all there was.

So if your done struting in the polyester leisure suit, in which your now tremedous beer gut doth spill quite over, send a setup. I'm itching to smack you right from the 70's "Back into the Future."

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

G'wan with ya now! Where? In here? Did I miss it? What page was it on? You goofin' on me again, you lil' pistol?

Just look for any post marked "Malakovski." You can't miss it.

Unless you're daft.</font>

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Originally posted by Nidan1:

I would rather serve in Hell, than listen to anymore of this drivel.

Well, have a fine time in hell if you must, but don't neglect your duties as thread spell checker. Most people use a computer or a dictionary, but I prefer to keep a niggling little git close by to check my posts. Good catch on venereal, old boy, though I know it's a problem close to your heart, er, loins.
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Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me!

Yeh, yeh, happy birthday.

If you were down here in Oz I'd take you to the pub at lunchtime and shout you beer.

Fortunately for me (and my wallet) you're not.

Mace

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Originally posted by Malakovski:

Mace, how fitting that you cudgel yourself in an attempt at taunting, and in your pitiful attempt to denigrate, you pay me a compliment.

For I am a rock in the pool, the petros if you will, the rock of reason, and upon this rock the surging waters of idiocy are broken, and from it radiate gentle waves of beneficence.

Let the waves of my wisdom bestill your brutish heart, and go in peace.

So, in summary, you're a nong.

btw it's Mace. Proper form to bold the names of kiniiiggets when addressing them.

Mace

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All this high-minded philosophical discussion has put me in the mood for a sing-song. All together now (especially you lads, sheilas, and sheep from Down Under):

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant

Who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

Who could think you under the table

David Hume could out consume

Schopenhauer and Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya

'Bout the raising of the wrist

Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will

On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

Plato they say, could stick it away

Half a crate of whiskey every day

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle

Hobbes was fond of his dram

And René Descartes was a drunken fart

"I drink, therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed

A lovely little thinker

But a bugger when he's pissed

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