stikkypixie Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Originally posted by Speedy: A rare glimpse in the mind of Speedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 I was just struck dumb by the preceding prose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: Twas the Week Before Christmas Twas the week before Christmas and all through the Pool All the creatures were stirring Especially Da Foole He hurled a "Blood Hamster" at the Justicar's feet But the nimble Joe Shaw escaped, WHAT A FEAT!!! And now we have serfs whose numbers grow higher it's gotten so bad now Sticky's a squire The Old Ones have gathered No one knows why Why does Michael Emrys keep dropping by? Poor Mace is upset with a T-shirt he hates He thought it was cotton Not wool from his "mates" Now dalm has found a mortal enemy who seems to be a big fan of Winnie the Poo While Hiram is smiling to him it's no joke But we all understand that the Eagles will choke Lars has been scarce like a man who's been beat Cause in his slums during winter he must pay for the heat And Noba keeps looking in his in-box in vain for a turn from somebody who may be insane So keep this in mind during this holiday season When visiting the Pool There's no place for reason. BRAVO ... ENCORE ... IL MAESTRO! And I say that as one who has DONE a prior version of the self same poem ... mine was better of course but your's ain't half bad at all, at all. And may I also say ... WELCOME BACK Jim Boggs ... it's been too long. Joe p.s. You SEE Boo Radley ... spoil the rod and squire the spare ... or somefink. He's STILL at it ... making mock of YOUR Justicar! How will the lad EVER learn the proper respect for YOU if he has none for HIMSELF ... for surely laying the blame at MY feet is naught but self-transference and ego/id manipulation ... or somefink. The lad REALLY should have a care ... the paperwork is getting out of hand here in the office ... it would be a SHAME if the excise stamp were smudged ... have to get a whole new one and who KNOWS how long that could take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Well, well, well, the return of the Boggs. Welcome back, Jim. I had feared that you had been swept out to sea by the storm surge. Unless you are addressing us from the belly of a whale, I suppose now that that was not the case. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Thank you, Jim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Well it seems no-one is sending me turns (including a certain lady who got all stroppy with me not so long ago… *sigh* one rule for us & another for them ey lads?)… so I may as well dip my toe back into the pool once again & deal with our errant Justicar. Mr Joe Shmoe I feel you don’t understand what I’ve been trying to do, I can’t speak for Boo, but for me personally I haven’t been trying to destroy or humiliate you in any way if anything I have been trying to save you… from yourself You Joe must have realised long ago that your authority was slipping away, you needed a public relations victory, you needed ‘celebrity’… you chose wisely my Liege… he provided the movie star good looks & fine teeth to the crumbling justicarate. And yet you hadn’t been honest to Boo had you? You intended to merely use his aura, his essence & yet share nothing of your own ill gotten power. My liege if he has any fault it is a tendency towards being TOO loyal, TOO understanding. If I was him I wouldn’t have put up with the put downs, the lack of true authority, the parasitic 'feeding' by a decrepit old fool. But Boo stuck with it, he worked hard to smooth over the increasingly insane proclamations you were spouting out, he was more loyal than any one man had any right to deserve… However the final straw must surely have been your personal war against me… from the moment I arrived the sheer chasm between you & Boo has been made obvious to all. Whilst Boo has nurtured & cultured me as best he can, backing up my holiness with material & intellectual tools you have shied away from ‘the leading light’. Terrified by the firm questions I have asked of the corrupt Justicar… You have used your dictatorship to humiliate the house of (sigh) JD Morse (sigh) but worse you’ve only ended up humiliating yourself… Joe it could have been so different…, you should have realised that Boo was a true partner & your righteous successor. Instead you forced him into becoming the anti-justicar & I suspect your hand in the witchery which even now lingers over him. The past is probably not a possibility any more… Boo’s resignation has allowed him to devote more time to his true love… faceted gemstones. I doubt he’d want to ever aid you again. However I may be of assistance… maybe not NOW as I’m only a Knight-to-be (indeed should be) but maybe later you could relax your grip on the reigns, hand over to someone with more jip, just for awhile, just till you get a control of things again, till the... the cloud clears. Come on Joe you can tell me about your problems, the burden of being Justicar must be great, who could have handled it so well for so long… but everyone has a breaking point… EVERYONE Joe… your point passed long ago… you’ve been running on borrowed time… I know you like Western analogies… Joe the wagon is leaving town All I want to do Joe is help you… [ December 20, 2004, 06:42 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightwatch Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Originally posted by 37mm: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: snipped as it was all a load of nonsenseOh Justicar, Justicar, Justicar… Was it I who allowed some of the worst thread titles & rules yet seen to go unmolested, rules so confused that no SSN could fathom his rights from his privileges? Was it I who upon witnessing the greatest of threads & rules seen for many a moon decided to throw a benny which almost certainly aided in the closing of that glorious thread? Was it I who ignored thy masters blood hamster, who mocked our house at every possibility? Was it I who endlessly undermined his own hard working junior Justicar in front of everyone? Is it I who wets himself continuously yet simply waves a rule book that no-one has read & few believe even exists? Was it I who upon completion of my quest tried (unsuccessfully) to demote me to serf as reward?!? You are here today Justicar, undermined not by me but by yourself… you have no-one else to blame. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 This Rome:Total War thing is pretty okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 19, 2004 Share Posted December 19, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: This Rome:Total War thing is pretty okay. dalem you should just stop ... stop with reviewing before you get in MORE hot water. Remember the debacle of your review on Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow? Remember your TOTALLY off base review of LOTR? And now this ... the ENTIRE Total War series is a piece of RTS crap and everyone knows it. Suitable, I suppose, to those who live or die by twitch but hardly appropriate for mature adults. You're just not equipped for reviewing lad, you need some judgement, some wisdom and above all some TASTE ... well, need I remind you of your situation vis-a-vis those three items? Stick to what you're good at ... uh ... hmmm ... Joe p.s. Easy there young Nightwatch (spelt but not bolded) ... 37mm isn't WORTH getting all WROTH over. He's never been the same since he found the truth about jdmorse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Joe, just for that, you are not going to get any of the cookies I am making. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 And Noba[/] keeps looking in his in-box in vain for a turn from somebody who may be insane Welcome back from whenever you had been hiding. I would assume that the "may be insane" will shortly flip to "fully insane" - or just "insane".... Frivolity aside, where's my turn? Pillock. Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: Joe, just for that, you are not going to get any of the cookies I am making. If they are 'Gluten Free' send some this-a-way. If not, I hope the dog and cat piddle all over them. Alternatively, invite Jo-Shmoe around and he will drop the tin, reducing them to crumbs. At this point, show some dexterous two-steps and turn them into the base for a nicely done cheesecake. Or not. Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 You'd eat something that had been on dalem's floor? This I gotta see. Maybe I could book you into a carnival. Death-defying act and all that. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: You'd eat something that had been on dalem's floor? This I gotta see. Maybe I could book you into a carnival. Death-defying act and all that. Michael My stomach has enough alcohol to sterilise anything, so I have been reliably informed. Comes with the territory. There's a thought for you! CARNIVAL. We already have a Foole for the Peng Carnival Performers Association. We have a Dwarf, of sorts... Lars can be the chief proponent of "Tossing", something admirably suited to his lifestyle. We have a few minions to fetch drinks, most important they be shown a regular *BooT*. Our Ladies might deign to stand on the horses backs as they canter around the ring. Our resident Donkey could make excessive noise at the drop of Joe Shmoe's elasticated clown trousers. Who knows, Joe would probably save us on makeup ! and we could get Joe to double as the really ugly villain that who frightens the kids and gets HISSED AT by the adults. We could get Elvis to fire up his cracked voice for the half-time singalong. No. Maybe not. Hiram could be the oh so hairy abomination snarling in the dimly lit cage... have to get a cattle prod for that nasty job. Yes, this has posibilities. Where would you fit in, Michael? Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Noba: Where would you fit in, Michael?Hopefully in the cannon we're going to shoot him out of. Originally posted by Noba: I hope the dog and cat piddle all over them.Must be an acquired taste? Is this the flavour of Western Australia? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Boggs has returned to us. It's like a Christmas wish come true. Oddly enough, it's 3:30 AM and paramedics have just taken my upstairs neighbour out on a gurney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: Boggs has returned to us. It's like a Christmas wish come true. Oddly enough, it's 3:30 AM and paramedics have just taken my upstairs neighbour out on a gurney. And the Police are interviewing you and asking if you had an alibi.....? Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Noba: I hope the dog and cat piddle all over them.Must be an acquired taste? Is this the flavour of Western Australia? Mace </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: Shaw, this 37mm creature does not acknowledge me. He consistently ignores my posts. Make him crawl before me, Justicar. MAKE HIM CRAWL!! I want to see some groveling of the first water from him, before I make water upon him. It is a matter, my dear Boo, of finding the RIGHT Squire. Oh certainly he showed some promise at first, but I learned from my choice of Papa Khann that the extra bit of "lip" in the intitial responses can signify a dangerous level of independent and rebellous thought that must be squashed like a bug. I was too lenient with Papa Khann I fear, I blame myself. I had HOPED that he would be another Agua Perdido, that best and most loyal of Squires. Oh to be sure, Lars was a GOOD Squire ... not the best perhaps, well look at the raw material, but still GOOD. But Agua Perdido was expeplor ... eximpl ... examipl ... the best. In YOUR case it was your unthinking (I DO understand ... it IS your only mode) acceptance that he was welcome to make sport of ME ... YOUR Justicar, that set alight the fuse that now burns dangerously close to the powder magazine. For see you Boo, he rightfully felt that if he could, with your active acceptance, make sport of ME ... well, he could make sport of YOU all day long and twice today (it being Sunday and all). If a liege is to win the respect of his Squire he MUST first TEACH that respect is due to ALL his betters, and who is better than I ... me ... well except for the Olde Ones and the jury's still out on some of them though I PERSONALLY don't believe the charges of jury tampering will prove out. In other words, Boo ... mine to be specific ... it's YOUR fault, YOUR mess, and YOU must clean up after him as you would a puppy that piddles on the floor. A good start would be to demonstrate that respect by showing it to YOUR betters ... do I gotta draw you a picture here Boo? The GOOD news is that I, in my wisdom and foresight, have insisted that a Serf can be Squire and a Squire a Knight ONLY after the proper forms have been followed and the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread had had it's say ... so if you don't ever state that he's fulfilled his quest, if you never ASK that he be elevated to Knight or if, somehow, the paperwork gets lost in the filing system (I've had to do it myself you know, since you turned in your bullet and left) ... well, the lad may NEVER be a Knight ... and wouldn't that be a pity. Joe </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Huh I do your bidding & get nothing but a Boot... I know it wasn't much of a Boot, just a playful slap really & I know you only did it to 'please' the Justicar but still... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by 37mm: Huh I do your bidding & get nothing but a Boot... I know it wasn't much of a Boot, just a playful slap really & I know you only did it to 'please' the Justicar but still... ...but still, when I say WE have to suffer for your antics, I really mean I have to suffer for your antics by having to listen to Joe piss and moan nonstop, and after awhile. it's like fingernails on a chalkboard, biting on tinfoil, stepping in gum. All at once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: Twas the Week Before Christmas Such a post... It fairly sang with subtlety and wit... Who are you and what have you done with Jim Boggs??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: Boggs has returned to us. It's like a Christmas wish come true. Oddly enough, it's 3:30 AM and paramedics have just taken my upstairs neighbour out on a gurney. Damnation... and I was sure I had the correct window... *grumble* *grumble* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: Lars has been scarce like a man who's been beat Cause in his slums during winter he must pay for the heatHeat bad. Cold good. Carpets and freshly painted walls last longer if you keep them in a refrigerator. So I just take the damage deposit if the proles actually turn up the thermostat and "ruin" them. Hmm, lovely ice storm today.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Boo Radley: ...but still, when I say WE have to suffer for your antics, I really mean I have to suffer for your antics by having to listen to Joe piss and moan nonstop, and after awhile. it's like fingernails on a chalkboard, biting on tinfoil, stepping in gum. All at once. Message understood, my post has been edited accordingly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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