Jump to content

Merry Christmas Fellas


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 51
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

A file was sent to me...

With twelve Jabos humming,

Eleven Ronsons burning,

Ten Scouts a-peeping,

Nine Pumas scooting,

Eight Tigers bogging,

Seven Trucks a-fording,

Six Shrecks a-hiding,

Five Orange TRPs,

Four calls for fire,

Three French tanks,

Two hulldown StuGs,

And a sniper 'neath a pear tree!

------------------------------

Happy Holidays to all of you out there in CM-land!

May your artillery never fall short!

-

:D

..............

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Seasoned (but not overly so) Greetings To All!

Sgt Schultz,

I like your version a lot better than the one I got. No groggy goodness or war piggery here!

The Twelve Days of Poor Grammar

On the first day of submission,

my article came back to me

with one spelling error, oh gee!

On the second day of submission,

my article came back to me

with two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the third day of submission,

my article came back to me

with three texting texts,

two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the fourth day of submission,

my article came back to me

with four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts,

two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the fifth day of submission,

my article came back to me

with five run-on sentences,

four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts,

two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the sixth day of submission,

my article came back to me

with six confusing contractions,

five run-on sentences,

four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts,

two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the seventh day of submission,

my article came back to me

with seven comma splices,

six confusing contractions,

five run-on sentences,

four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts,

two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the eighth day of submission,

my article came back to me

with eight double negatives,

seven comma splices,

six confusing contractions,

five run-on sentences,

four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts,

two misused words,

and another spelling error, oh gee!

On the ninth day of submission,

my article came back to me

with nine malfunctioned conjunctions,

eight double negatives,

seven comma splices,

six confusing contractions,

five run-on sentences,

four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts,

two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the tenth day of submission,

my article came back to me

with ten incomplete sentences,

nine malfunctioned conjunctions,

eight double negatives,

seven comma splices,

six confusing contractions,

five run-on sentences,

four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts, two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the eleventh day of submission,

my article came back to me

with eleven split infinitives,

ten incomplete sentences,

nine malfunctioned conjunctions,

eight double negatives,

seven comma splices,

six confusing contractions,

five run-on sentences,

four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts,

two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

On the twelfth day of submission,

my article came back to me

with twelve dangling modifiers,

eleven split infinitives,

ten incomplete sentences,

nine malfunctioned conjunctions,

eight double negatives,

seven comma splices,

six confusing contractions,

five run-on sentences,

four poorly possessive apostrophes,

three texting texts,

two misused words,

and one spelling error, oh gee!

REgards,

John Kettler

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sgt Schultz,

If you've ever been on a big editorial project, this song is frighteningly realizable. Every successive round of edits seems to beget new errors, and fixing those creates yet more. Heaven help you if repagination and footnotes are involved!

Mord,

Do we have any female CM members anymore? Offhand, I can't name a single one. Of course, handles can hide lots of things. Nor do I underestimate the martial talents of the ladies. The fastest and worst wargame thrashing I ever got was administered to me by my sister, Mary, playing AH's Kriegspiel. I deployed logically, defending key points and doing other militarily sensible things. Her approach? Defend nothing! Put everything on the border and come sweeping in with irresistible force. Neither General Mud nor General Winter could save me, either! Humiliating, I tell you!

Regards,

John Kettler

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do we have any female CM members anymore?

Patches still shows up from time to time in the Peng Challenge Thread. I'm sure that there are several ladies still registered here, but it's been a while since any showed up. I think there were one or two new members who sported female names and appeared briefly earlier in the year, but they seem to be long gone as well. We seem to bore them with our talk of armor basis and muzzle velocity. Can't understand why.

;)

Michael

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Michael Emrys,

Appreciate the update! How to woo back the ladies? Perhaps if we had posts like these, things might improve?

Modest Proposals

The secret love life of Kurt "Panzer" Meyer! The REAL story!

Size and length matter! Why you should dump the SCHLUB in that stubby Panzer III N and date a real man, a Panther commander!

10 HOT questions for YOUR AFV designer!

Male enhancement! Why the Littlejohn adapter's BETTER than Viagra!

Stop smoking! (If you say it to your Sherman, it's already too late!)

Is YOUR outfit coming undone? (Understanding CMBN subsystem damage)

Naverboogie and you--is there a real relationship there?

Light my fire! A plea for flamethrowers in CMx2!

Panzerschreck or Panzerblech? You decide!

Sherman--Hottie or nottie?

Send in the clowns--how to recover from a disastrous air strike!

Are you HOT? You are if your tank's on fire!

My Jagdpanther BOGGED! Will I ever see it again?

He rocked my world--in a BAD way! Sure wish I'd bought field fortifications!

Surviving a ROUGH breakup! What to do when leaving your burning Panzer!

Bazooka--more than Mom's bubble gum!

Doin' it doggy style! How to use M8 Greyhounds and get some back alive!

Never smile at a Crocodile! Run!

I'd stop a grenade for you! (On second thought, not!)

Location! Location! Location! (Siting fixed defenses in CMBN)

Churchill? He puts the SEXY in slow! (How to use "I" tanks)

How to use a condom? (It goes over your rifle muzzle)

If this Wasp stings you, you're dead!

PanzerGranate40? Not for Shorty!

It killed the Romans! Don't let lead kill YOU!

Why 77mm is SO much better than 76!

Is he shooting blanks?! You'd better hope so if your HMG jams!

Stop dieting now! 17 pound(ers) you CAN'T afford to lose!

Cosmetic Enhancements? Applique armor and YOU!

Is it time to end this relationship? (Stay with or abandon a penetrated tank)

Under my umbrella? Why tacair's a must when YOU attack!

Tungsten! Why you can't afford to consume it!

How to stop chewing your nails and spit lead instead!

How to train your gunner (to elevate for your pleasure)!

Drop it like it's hot! How to bracket quickly and fire for effect!

Say what? The vital importance of clear communication!

Lose 200 Pounds NOW! Fire YOUR 8" Gun!

Naughty by nature! Spotting unfair QB purchases and what to do about them.

You sank my battleship? I think I'll cry! (Naval gunfire support in CMBN)

P-47? I'm in Heaven!

Fill 'er up? Not me, my tank!

Everyone likes heavy metal! Field artillery and you!

Pay attention to me, Baby! (How to use an FO)

Eye of the Tiger--why you should avoid it!

Here, kitty kitty! Puma or Lynx--how to decide!

Olive drab--the new black!

On point--how to use YOUR bayonet!

Airborne beret! Fashion forward or BIG mistake?

Don't stand out! Why cammies are THE fashion must!

Check him out! How to choose the right sniper rifle!

Forget shoes--get yourself a great pair of BOOTS!

Perfect storm? Tiffies vs Thunderbolts!

Handbag or handgun? Luger vs M1911

On a budget? How to shop for fire support!

You should've texted! (Hanging on until reinforcements show up)

To splurge or not to splurge? (Small QB armor buy tradeoffs)

Normandy dust--the complexion disaster that can get you KILLED!

The ALL-IMPORTANT T-ZONE--How and when to use HVAP!

This Schu (mine) doesn't fit!

Tale of the tape--marking YOUR cleared path!

Lafayette Poole! Cool or tool?

Killing everything in sight! Michael Wittmann dishes!

Audie Murphy--So HOT the floor's ablaze!

Paratrooper or paradrooper? Use Airborne effectively!

Surprise him--with a deadly ambush!

Time to move? Displacing before FFE begins!

Charge it! Beginner's guide to rushing a (you hope) suppressed MG nest!

Burnt cork or camo paint? Find YOUR fashion look for night ops!

Fear of intimacy? Why you SHOULDN'T get too involved with your troops!

Is he CHEATING?! (House rules for QBs)

Looking sharp! (Battlefield survival)

He wore me out! Don't let this be YOUR excuse for losing!

How to get great headshots! (Proper sniper positioning and use)

Make a GREAT first impression! (How to write a useful scenario briefing)

Get your sexy on! Be smoking HOT in ambush camouflage!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (Impress the grogs with YOUR first post)!

Am going to stop this now while I still have a life left!!! Used to think Combaiku was addictive!

Regards,

John Kettler

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...