The Teacher Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I've spent 2 hours plotting my move. I've spent 1.5 hours replotting those same moves again, checking every possible spotting position and angle. My scouts head into enemy territory. My Infantry begin to move forward, spaced out to avoid bunching. My Tanks start to move forward searching for the enemy. My mortars open fire with smoke to conceal my forces as they approach the enemy held town. My FO calls in 3 Batteries of 25 pounders to blanket the suspected enemy positions. Another 30 minutes passes and now the scouts and Infantry storm from house to house and the Tanks engage the enemy. :eek:And then it happens..... the very nasty bug. The wife walks into my Bunker and says, " Im bored, take me shopping for shoes or a new handbag". What to do ??? I'm thinking Tazzer time.....any suggestions ??? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonS Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 You need the Wife 2.0 patch to fix that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisND Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Introduce her to online shopping. Or on second thought, don't do that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketman Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 You need the Wife 2.0 patch to fix that. Or there might be a manual override switch on her back 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platoon Crusher Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Just mute her with the remote, or if that doesn't work click on the shutdown command... Hope it helps 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mord Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Is murder illegal down under? Mord. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steiner14 Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Make her a child. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Are you a time traveller from the 70's ? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c3k Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Hmmm, you need to just sit her down and explain what you've just done. Talk about the need to lead from the front. Discuss how men in combat will look to you to see what they should do. Go back in history and discuss the importance of tactics. I'd start with Cannae and work forward from there. Include 3 examples of battlefield tactics from every ephoch, obviously going into detail about why it worked or failed and how it could've been executed in a better manner. This would allow you to dovetail the effect of technology and its revolutionary impact on the battlefield. Tell her about ballistics. Start with fundemental physics in a vacuum and work up to coriolis effect on long range gunnery. Make it a give and take: ask her which she would prefer, and why, between the German 7.92mm spitzer, British .303, or US .30-06. Mention the Hague Conventions. Discuss nationalism, hegemony, global trade, and quality of life. Show her how much work that turn took. Tell her to give it a try. Then laugh at the results. Actually ridicule her, later, in front of mutual friends, regarding her tactical inexpertise. Show her how your sacrifice, your generalship, is allowing her the freedom to shop. Build an obstacle course in the backyard and have her run through it. This will show her how hard the battlefield can be. Use a bayonet, with gentle prods, to help over the higher walls. She will thank you, later. Ken 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Wenman Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 What to do ??? press pause ? P 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mord Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 All that stuff C3K said... ...then upload it to YouTube. Mord. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 What is Tazzer time? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonS Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 don't tazzer me, bro. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I Deffinetly want to know what a Tazzer is too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Teacher Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Ok, let me see if I have this right. Ignore her. ( check ) Bore her to death. ( check ) Stick her with a object. ( check ) Run her around and scream at her. ( check ) Ridicule her in front of her peers. ( check ) Tell her how important everything I do is compared to her. ( check ) Sorry guys but I'm affraid I do all that.... its called being married. Tazzer = being able to stay infront of the computer while shooting her with a pair of small darts that then shock her with electricity when I press the trigger 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c3k Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Ok, let me see if I have this right. Ignore her. ( check ) Bore her to death. ( check ) Stick her with a object. ( check ) Run her around and scream at her. ( check ) Ridicule her in front of her peers. ( check ) Tell her how important everything I do is compared to her. ( check ) Sorry guys but I'm affraid I do all that.... its called being married. Tazzer = being able to stay infront of the computer while shooting her with a pair of small darts that then shock her with electricity when I press the trigger $10 says you're too chicken to show that ^^^ to her! (I want to see her reading what you just wrote get filmed and uploaded to youtube!) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Ok, let me see if I have this right. Ignore her. ( check ) Bore her to death. ( check ) Stick her with a object. ( check ) Run her around and scream at her. ( check ) Ridicule her in front of her peers. ( check ) Tell her how important everything I do is compared to her. ( check ) Sorry guys but I'm affraid I do all that.... its called being married. "Sorry guys but I'm affraid I do all that.... its called being married".......to a sociopath. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinnart Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 You need the Wife 2.0 patch to fix that. LMAO! Hope it comes with the girlfriend mod too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongLeftFlank Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 The wife walks into my Bunker and says, " Im bored, take me shopping for shoes or a new handbag". Wait, doesn't that involve putting on your cork hat, walking out of your clapboard shack into blazing desert heat, climbing into an ancient Austin pickup and then, raising a huge cloud of dust, driving her 300 miles along the "rabbit proof fence" to the nearest town? Or am I (*shudder!*) cesspooling at this point? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miller41 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 This is the funniest thread I have seen here in awhile. My wife just stays away from me when she hears explosions, it is better that way, really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arnoldio Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 What is your wife doing out of the kitchen? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pak40 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 To get rid of that wife problem: CTRL-ALT-DEL Task Manager wife.exe - end process Download and install the best anti-spam software available. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 save the game at that point. turn to her, smile and say "sure, lets go"... on the way, you explain how important the sim is, it gives you greater understanding to the sacrifices of young men that helped keep the country free..and that when at the next (fill in the blank) function how you feel you'll be able to explain how terrible it really was, and you're speaking of that only thru a sim... a very realistic sim, but still, not anywhere as important as she is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjkerner Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Yup, Tazer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Teacher Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Note to self..... Do not leave the Tazzer on the dresser. Second note to self.... Duck and weave, commando roll, avoid the Squirrel grip. Third note to self.... You guys and the great advice you send my way could get me EMASCULATED. :eek: Your all to funny, great Idea's. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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