limeni Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Yeah, what arnoldio said. tell her to go back in da kitchen 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilts Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I had my credit card stolen last month. I haven't reported it because whoever took it is spending less than my wife! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erwin Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 LOL - thanks for the laugh... Am stealing your joke immediately. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky Balboa Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 LOL - thanks for the laugh... Am stealing your joke immediately. Go ahead and take it, I have a feeling he took it from someone else 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hessian deserter Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 You could get her to dress up like a SS nurse. Black and red leather maybe? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erwin Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 And post pics plz... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunnergoz Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 This is the funniest thread I have seen here in awhile. My wife just stays away from me when she hears explosions, it is better that way, really. Still feeding you beans, is she? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Teacher Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 Its amazing how much my hearing has improved since starting this thread. When I hear the wife approaching and Im reading your posts I have to quickly click on another. If the hearing fails me I may be on the evening news in the crimes of passion section. The wife being passionate in killing me. Me being passionate in staying a man and alive. :eek: One suggestion that was made didnt work at all.....I pointed the remote at her and pressed pause....nothing....I paused again....nothing. My conclusion is she is on another setting from the TV, which is probably why she talks through DVDs Ive selected. Either that or I need a universal remote. Oh and why do wives have such small feet ? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink while doing the dishes Cheers 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodkin Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 http://www.flickr.com/photos/shirleytwofeathers/2297098565/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dietrich Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 The wife walks into my Bunker... Wait... you have a bunker, and she can just walk inside? Clearly, your first problem is security. The question of what you should do when the wife infiltrates your bunker and demands to be taken shopping shouldn't have to be asked if the proper security measures are in place. That, or she's capable of defeating your security measures. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 When I hear the wife approaching and Im reading your posts I have to quickly click on another. Why would you have to do that ? Would it be because you have instigated a conversation that ultimately reduces your wife to the role of a prison guard and you would be profoundly embarrassed if you were to be caught by her discussing her in that way ? If the hearing fails me I may be on the evening news in the crimes of passion section. The wife being passionate in killing me. Me being passionate in staying a man and alive. :eek: The headline would more likely be "man tries 1970's UK style stand up comedy on a forum in 2012...evidence of time travel ?" One suggestion that was made didnt work at all.....I pointed the remote at her and pressed pause....nothing....I paused again....nothing. My conclusion is she is on another setting from the TV, which is probably why she talks through DVDs Ive selected. Either that or I need a universal remote. I think you are mistaking her for a domestic robot, i suggest you use your time machine and go forward a few decades. Oh and why do wives have such small feet ? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink while doing the dishes All women have on average small feet compared to men i imagine, so your statement should of read...."Why do women have small feet?"......and the answer being "Because on average the female body is smaller than the male, so from a male perspective most women have small feet". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c3k Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 (Don't mind him: his wife was standing right behind him when he posted that. Once she leaves, he'll be able to play army again.) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 ...any suggestions ??? I hope to god it isn't English you are teaching. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chops Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I hope to god it isn't English you are teaching. Michael No it ain't English he is teaching; it's a course in Mysoginy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 You need to face up to one simple fact: women are incapable of understanding why we would want to spend punishing hours re-enacting on the screen violent mayhem, destruction, and murder. That we would actually spend hard-earned money doing this just baffles them. It's like the way we will never understand why they would want to spend hours out of their lives under a hair dryer in a beauty salon getting their hair styled in a way that is unnatural and ugly. Or why they could possibly like pimento cheese sandwiches. It's just one of those things that permanently divides the sexes across an abyss of mutual incomprehension. Just count yourself lucky if for whatever reason she is occasionally willing to have sex with you. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 You need to face up to one simple fact: women are incapable of understanding why we would want to spend punishing hours re-enacting on the screen violent mayhem, destruction, and murder. That we would actually spend hard-earned money doing this just baffles them. It's like the way we will never understand why they would want to spend hours out of their lives under a hair dryer in a beauty salon getting their hair styled in a way that is unnatural and ugly. Or why they could possibly like pimento cheese sandwiches. It's just one of those things that permanently divides the sexes across an abyss of mutual incomprehension. Just count yourself lucky if for whatever reason she is occasionally willing to have sex with you. Michael This is only anecdotal evidence, but most of the men i know are incapable of understanding why i would spend hours playing a wargame of any kind in any format. On a philosophical level, i am loathe to use any collective terms when it comes to creatures as complex as human beings, but being a nerd i would say that wouldn't i 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUCASWILLEN05 Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Put her in handcuffs. Apparently some women enjoy that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Teacher Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 Very interesting. Thank you everyone for a very entertaining thread, its been alot of fun so far and I'm not ashamed to say that I am a 70s child. Its been a change from reading the usual forum material. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sburke Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 I just show my spouse the PENG thread, after that she has been perfectly fine with me just playing the game. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Put her in handcuffs. Apparently some women enjoy that I considered suggesting tying her to the bed in a very compromising position, but thought better of it. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixxkiller Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I read this to my gf and she didnt laugh..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Very interesting. Thank you everyone for a very entertaining thread, its been alot of fun so far and I'm not ashamed to say that I am a 70s child. Its been a change from reading the usual forum material. I was born in the UK in 1965, and was brought up on Benny Hill, Bernard Manning et al, but now when i look back at that era and the awful sexism and racism of the stand ups i would be ashamed to still like it, never mind use it. If you want to see how far the UK has come sonce the 70's checkout the comedian Stewart Lee on youtube, he's fast becoming the most popular comedian in the UK, which almost makes me proud to be British. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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