For whom the Peng Challenges

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Malakovski:

They seem all to have been lulled into a dreamy trance, no doubt filled with lustful thoughts inspired by my lurid descriptions of Australian pederasty

Not so Molotovski, my threesomes are legendary around these here parts, and theres not a sheep in sight.

But a gentleman does not kiss and tell, so while you flail into your pillow each night, rest easy in the knowledge that your old Unca Stukey is 'getting busy' in the most wonderful of ways.

Woot! and double Woot!

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by PondScum:

The hideous, awful truth of why Panzer Leader loves CMBB so much - it lets him play "one handed", if you know what I mean. And I think you do...

Hey Panzer Leader...Which grass mod are you using?

Persephone</font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Malapropism:

{Swoon}Oooh..... please my Lord and Master Seanachaicoochicoo! Take me in your arms and crush me with your mighty intellect... let our enlarged frontal lobes throb mightily together in mindwarp bliss... ohhh... the philisophical eggstacy of it all!! {/swoon}

GAAACKK!!!!

Quick, Stuka olde pal. Chuck us another 6 pack of XXXX sos' I can wash away all traces of the images THAT conjures up!!

AJ

[ October 08, 2002, 05:01 AM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Quick, Stuka olde pal. Chuck us another 6 pack of XXXX sos' I can wash away all traces of the images THAT conjures up!!

I don't know what's worse, the image of Seanachai and Malakovski getting friendly, or the taste of XXXX.

Mace

[Noba]

Posted by the BigRedTummy:

I wish to take the vile swine, Malakovsky to Squire.

It seems meet. I read his posts, which go on and on, and while plowing through his verbiage, and puzzling over his odd constructs, I recognize in him the very anti-thesis of Berli.

It seems only fitting that I should take him to Squire.

The only thing fitting is 'misery loves company.'

With the inevitable raising of this pile of garralouse verbosity to the lofty depths of SQUIRE, we face a quandry.

The 'POOL' has it's Grogs of varying descriptions. REAL GROGS, like Simon , psuedo grogs like Joe . Ohians. Slapdragon .

Now we have to find a new compartment to place the dribbling mess. We obviously can't let it run around unattended, it needs a cage, some sort of restraint. Perhaps a Grog Dribbler ? Pity, we couldn't find room for them both.

Noba.

[Nidan1]

Good morning, this place seems rather maloderous this morning, I guess none of you have bothered to clean up after the Aussies.

I come back to this place of verbal abuse and malformed DNA strains in the hope of finding, one Gaylord Focker, we have a game in progress or should I say in stasis because this miserable knuckle dragger has not bothered to send me a turn. I know he hangs out in here somewhere, lurking in those dark, dripping areas where molds, and fungi are the only living things. I dont come here to beg for a turn, just to request that he rubs together those two last brain cells of his to generate a small spark of humanity.

MrSPkr :"Hill 621" was excellent, played TCPIP enjoyed the conversion, perhaps there is some hope for you on this planet after all. Although I shudder at the thought of propping up your already massively inflated sense of self-worth, I must admit you have done a service here.

Good Day and G'Day, by the way who is this single celled creature MALAKOVSKI? he does seem rather boring, but you genetic defectives seem to have accepted him, alas it seems that intelligence is a detriment in here. (I think I am learning)

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

So YOU did the 222. WHERE'S THE FECKIN SPARE TIRE???

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

What blanket mod are you using?

Joe

Alright...that was funny. Didn't think the aging pillock still had any in him.

.</font>

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Wildman:

Speedy and I are busy flanking each other in CMBO, and by the way...don't think I didn't notice that gamey CREW rush of the flag In mid-game! Gamey Bastige!

Do you realise the immense amount of planning and forethought that went into that move. Firstly I had to do the early game gamey AC rush inorder to get my AC's into a position from which you would blow them up, hence leaving my crews safely ensconed behind your lines. Then I had to keep them hidden away from all the shirkers and cowards you always seem to attract. Lastly but not least I had to time my assault on the {gamey} crew defended flag to perfection.

As for you I wont even mention among this crowd what you do with Stuarts!

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

Good morning, this place seems rather maloderous this morning, I guess none of you have bothered to clean up after the Aussies.

We haven't left yet, there's still beer left!

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Speedy:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:

Good morning, this place seems rather maloderous this morning, I guess none of you have bothered to clean up after the Aussies.

We haven't left yet, there's still beer left!</font>

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

While many men would doubtless flex and posture at the idea of being suddenly granted the muscular (and disturbingly furry) body of Nicholas Cage (as represented in Persephone's base slander against my own form), I know myself to be more than just some body for women to make dog noises over!

You see, I have a mind.

ÜberGnome, first you request a svelter, muscular body (OK, you didn't request the fur)...now that I have given you that, you are concerned that women, donkeys and SSN's might be drooling over your body and not notice your brilliant mind...you just can't satisfy a Gnome. *sigh*

Persephone

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Malakovski:

Surprising, very surprising, but the articulate must stick together, rocks amidst the surging sea of idiocy...

Seanachai and Malaprop-ski: Separated at birth or two verbal narcissistic gits?

You decide.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Malakovski:

Surprising, very surprising, but the articulate must stick together, rocks amidst the surging sea of idiocy...

Seanachai and Malaprop-ski: Separated at birth or two verbal narcissistic gits?

You decide.</font>

[Speedy]

No, but Berli could.

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Malakovski:

Then let it be so! And quick, before any of these slow-witted, filth-spewing, obscurantists can raise a hue and cry against.

That does it! I was trying to rescue you from your depths of philosophical desolation, but you have turned your back, and you have thrown in with the gnome no less!!! I hope you two enjoy your mutual red-tummy-rubbings and pointy little hats to go on your pointy little heads.

Now you shall get your game, vile miscreant. I was working up something mostly historical, based in the Summer of 1943 near the Mius river called the "Assault on Hill 213.9, Death Ride of SS Panzer Regiment III", but that is too good for the likes of you... it was to be glorious, full of fire, brimstone, Berli, and 'splody things... a battle worthy of song... an engagement to remember...

But all that can be said now is "NO HISTORICAL BATTLE FOR YOU!!!"

You shall get Crawdad's Revenge instead, a scenario where your Russian troops, arming themselves with crustaceans plucked from the bed of the Mius river bend, must attack the German defenders on the higher west bank of the river in an attempt to lead the break-out of the godless (for what philosopher isn't?) hordes attacking the brave Panzertruppen of the Vaterland.

Prepare yourself!

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Malakovski:

Then let it be so! And quick, before any of these slow-witted, filth-spewing, obscurantists can raise a hue and cry against.

That does it! I was trying to rescue you from your depths of philosophical desolation, but you have turned your back, and you have thrown in with the gnome no less!!! I hope you two enjoy your mutual red-tummy-rubbings and pointy little hats to go on your pointy little heads.

Now you shall get your game, vile miscreant. I was working up something mostly historical, based in the Summer of 1943 near the Mius river called the "Assault on Hill 213.9, Death Ride of SS Panzer Regiment III", but that is too good for the likes of you... it was to be glorious, full of fire, brimstone, Berli, and 'splody things... a battle worthy of song... an engagement to remember...

But all that can be said now is "NO HISTORICAL BATTLE FOR YOU!!!"

You shall get Crawdad's Revenge instead, a scenario where your Russian troops, arming themselves with crustaceans plucked from the bed of the Mius river bend, must attack the German defenders on the higher west bank of the river in an attempt to lead the break-out of the godless (for what philosopher isn't?) hordes attacking the brave Panzertruppen of the Vaterland.

Prepare yourself!</font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Mace:

I can rub it in a lot.

Who let Mace loose in the stockyards again? Dammit, somebody was supposed to be watching him!

There goes my futures position on spring lambs and Australian currency.

{and don't be messing with that last line, it's just too easy}

SSN Hint Of The Day: Never make your bed.

Now sod off.

{edited to bold a known sheep shagger for the livestock communities protection}

[ October 08, 2002, 09:48 AM: Message edited by: Lars ]

[Nestor]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

I come back to this place of verbal abuse and malformed DNA strains in the hope of finding, one Gaylord Focker.....

<small>Ni</small> (can I call you <small>Ni</small>) Gaylord was last seen heading for his straw mattress on Saturday, having had a hissy fit about something and then got all emotional and blubby when he came back to apologise, citing lack of sleep. Persephone has sent him to bed for a month.

This leaves me serfing for both Ladies of the Pool and believe me when I tell you that they take one hell of a lot of serfing. Since I seem to be doing everything else for Gaylord at the moment, I will see if I can fit you in for a Panzer slapping of some description should you wish it, but I couldn’t possibly manage this before Friday!

Now, if there’s nothing else I must get back to Lady Emma’s knickers. She wants them all ironed before the end of the day – what strange twist of the evolutionary step-ladder decreed that women would be predisposed towards ironing underwear I wonder. Very strange.

No Mace, you can’t ‘buy’ a few pairs.

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

Well then send the "Death Ride" battle to me Herr Oberst or were you just boasting about having created such an interesting battle?

There might just be something to you boy... Malanoma... heh... I like that one... yes, a philosophical cancer eating away at the Cesspool... appropriate... well done...

So you want to attempt Hill 213.9 do you?

The elevation map for your Death Ride is completed, adapted from captured vintage Truppenkarte "L 37-6 C, Dmitrievka" if I recall correctly (the docs are at home, and I am wasting time at work), showing the area between Stepanovka and Gerassimova. I am adding the terrain features, and need to setup the forces before we can start your sacrifical journey.

As for the crustacean battle, that is reserved for Malanoma, and I worked up about half of that map last night, the Mius river bend, north and west of Kuibyshevo, near hill 168.5.

[Panzer Leader]

Posted by Nestbuilder:

Since I seem to be doing everything else for Gaylord at the moment, I will see if I can fit you in for a Panzer slapping of some description should you wish it, but I couldn’t possibly manage this before Friday

Was that a challenge or were you asking him for a date?? Sheesh, remind me to stay away from your "polite slappings."

Machiavelli:

Remember one thing O squire: I too was squire to the Boogie Knight.

[Joe Shaw]

Well I suppose we should have seen this coming. Who ELSE would the lad go to after all? As I recall, and recall less and less with each passing day, Seanachai did follow the forms and procedures by first recommending young Malakovski (spelt but not bolded) as Serf to the CessPool and then, given the fullness of time (and likely enough the fullness of belly that follows excessive consumption of alcholic beverages) he has now taken him to Squire ... poor thing, the Squire that is.

So, in accordance with standing CessPool policy and my own procedures, I hereby welcome Malakovski to the ranks of the CessPool ... vile and stupid Squire though he be.

I ALSO hereby request and require MY current wastral, lackadasical, Ferdinand the Bull sniffing flowers and admiring the sunset with NO FRICKING JOB or apparent desire to further himself but just to lay about MY castle reading my back issues of Rubber Suit and Whip Magaz ... uh ... well, he's NO Agua Perdido let's just put it that way ... where was I ... oh yeah, I hereby require Papa Khann to play Malakovski as the final Squire's Challenge prior to receiving his Knighthood.

I desire this match to be quick ... VERY quick ... two turns or so should do it I think. I'll be sending a setup to my Squire and shall expect AARs from him and Malakovski. It's the only way I can think of to get him out of the house you see.

Joe

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

So, in accordance with standing CessPool policy and my own procedures, I hereby welcome Malakovski to the ranks of the CessPool ... vile and stupid Squire though he be.

And I thought we could sink no lower.

[Joe Shaw]

Let's Get Papa Khann Out Of The House Then Shall We?

Two turns, in a blizzard and deep snow, ski troops ... the only thing missing is sewer movement but with the skis and all ...

Anyway the scenario is on it's way to Papa Khann as the first player, he'll ship it on to Malakovski and the fight will be on ... for all two turns. I expect explicit AARs mind you, but in any case when it gets done Papa Khann will be a Knight of the CessPool ... then maybe I can find a PROPER Squire, one that appreciates the honor of being a Squire to the Shavian House.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

then maybe I can find a PROPER Squire, one that appreciates the honor of being a Squire to the Shavian House.

Joe

I hear they're having a sale on French poodles down at Pet Palace. You might try down there.

[Nestor]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Was that a challenge or were you asking him for a date?? Sheesh, remind me to stay away from your "polite slappings."

Ah, you’re one of the ‘hit it hard with a big blunt object and repeat ad infinitum’ school of taunting aren’t you Panzer Leader. You stand there buffing your bogged King Tiger to a nice shine whilst the other Poolers nip around in their light tanks firing nuanced and subtle barbs which fly way over your head. And you think: ‘missed me’. Imbecile. You are ‘slow turret’ personified.

My ‘polite slappings’ just involve changing the fish every hour or so, other than that, they’re just as brutal as the errr..... brutal ones – I doubt you’d survive the Minnow.