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Peng in Paradise


jd

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From Berli:

Proclaim away Croda. Meanwhile, we will ignore you as you richly deserve.

Right, let's get one thing clear here. All Squire matches are to be on a map made by Germanboy with forces selected by Berli or his designated second-in-evil for the day. Croda, you have clearly demonstrated that you can't play CM well, so how are we supposed to assume you can design?

Now, damn you ColeSlaw! First you bollocks up the turn send and blame it on me, and now you gesump me on taking this Aqua Velva chap as a squire. And he's the first upstart to get a chuckle out of me since Marlow's first purse fight with Croda

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Originally posted by Lorak:

Ahh Seahawk,

Hiding? Me hiding?

You sir are confused. "

Beware Lorak:

Right now my dance card is pretty full. but I should have a spot or two open real soon.

Lorak the loathed.

Who is talking about dancing, ballerina? tongue.gif

You sweet-meat right-coaster

(There, looks like a good entrance in a Peng thread!)

smile.gif Lorak, anything is acceptable, everything is manageable, what about a scenario? even unbalanced. Take the strong side.

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I have for the first time read the Peng thread...maybe it was the title that enticed me like a Siren's call into this filth that you call "Peng" (tropical sunsets, willing Island girls, Maitais by the rolling surf.) Far from finding an Island sanctuary I find pungent vulgarities- nothing more than putrid psittacism. I'm sure if you jellyfish were exposed to the light of day it would reveal a decrepit group of old men containing no spine but a barely perceptible heart pumping a bile and filth that should never be cloaked in such a soothing air of "Peng in Paradise". I now find that I can spell a few obscure words, but my CM game has been severely affected for the worse.... How I despise the written word and the group called Peng.

P.S Though I don't carry the heavy burden of a bulging verbal post-orbital ridge that each of you caresses like a badge of honor(sik). You can be sure that I will now be a frequent reader of "Peng" like a prepubescent teen that can not resist a peek at what is naughty and sure to corrupt....I must admit that I am not yet old enough to try some of the things so graphicly described by the more degenerate of your "pinups". Though like liquored up whores I have noticed a propensity to throw yourselves at the first sailor to enter this world called Peng?

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Originally posted by Naja:

waffle

*Mace walks along the beach, enjoying the serenity.

He soon comes across a decayed Naja washed in by the tide, picks it up, and hurls it back out to sea!*

(*later, he goes gets rabies shots from his Doctor, just in case*)

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 02-24-2001).]

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Mace, I know we haven't had a case in Australia for more than a dozen years, but I think you actually meant to be inoculated for rabies, or were you actually looking for some prophylaxis against becoming a Hebrew preacher?

[This message has been edited by Goanna (edited 02-24-2001).]

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... steps nervously up to the mike ...

Ahem, gentlemen - and ladies of course - if I may. Shortly, in London, there is to be an auction:

http://onenews.nzoom.com/news_detail/0,1227,30631,00.html

Now, if we had a quick whip-round we could get the chaps who reside in London to sidle down next Thursday and pick us up a mascot for this fine thread. Surely a 6 foot hamster would be a fine addition to anyones CMing experience.

Or maybe a giant bodylouse would be more appropriate for some of you...

Be cool, and shop carefully

Jon

------------------

*******

Quo fas et vino de femme

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Originally posted by Goanna:

Mace, I know we haven't had a case in Australia for more than a dozen years, but I think you actually meant to be inoculated for rabies, or were you actually looking for some prophylaxis against becoming a Hebrew preacher?

Goanna,

Correction noted...btw are you suggesting that there's something wrong with our Pubic education system? wink.gif

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 02-24-2001).]

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Mark IV Seems that you got 22 not 12, I can only ascribe the error to the appearance of your forces after the defeat which looked 1/4 of a badly buggered boy scout troop with an old landrover.

PeterNZ

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"What do I care, I got laid last week" - Chupacabra

"Bjorn again are really quite good!" - Germanboy

- Official owner of the sig files of Dalem and Croda -

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Originally posted by PeterNZer:

Mark IV Seems that you got 22 not 12, I can only ascribe the error to the appearance of your forces after the defeat which looked 1/4 of a badly buggered boy scout troop with an old landrover.

The truth begins to be told. However, they resembled 1/3 of said troop, with a late-model Dodge Dakota in need of minor body work. You just can't tell it straight, can you? Sheesh... it did get a little ugly, though.

Well, even a blind sow finds an acorn.

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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Well, well, well Meeks m'boy, you need to pay more attention to the posts. I informed everyone that HELL HAD FROZEN OVER in the German version of Mutha Beautiful Thread, so I guess you owe Armornut a setup. Enjoy the game.

Well so be it, Armornut I shall send you a setup tonight, or would you prefer a TCP/IP game?

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Fionn has his rule of 76, I have mine. Mine is much simpler, I get to buy whatever I want ... you get 76 points.

-Joe Shaw

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PBEM will do. I will be able to return the play Sunday night, as I am going to lovly Sacramento for work. I will be venturing into a place far worse than this cesspool, a place so vile even Meeks would feel at home. I wish I had armor support, or at least something to shoot back at the gang-bangers eek.gif

Armornut

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OK

nothing to see here, just some game updates:

MarkIV - just starting out - I will exact revenge for my previous loss.

Goanna - just starting out - I will exact revenge for my previous victory.

Stuka - hide and seek in the rain in the dark continues. He is armorless. I am systematically blowing up every building in town until there is nowhere left for him to hide.

Mensch - a godawful mess in dense fog. He will be armorless in the next 60 seconds. with the exception of a lone panther way in his back parts that one of my now dead grayhounds immobilized with a sneaky rear shot early in the game. too close to call as his infantry is shredding mine.

shandorf - no idea what is going on. i think he owes me a file or i owe him a file or somfink.

KITTY - yes that's right, boys, Kitty and I are at hazard. I am stomping her guts out. It will be over soon. However, I will not brag or boast about it. The less said the better. suffice to say that there are some people in the world who can and will beat me. She is not one of them.

Seanachai - Elsdorf. Bit of nastiness. I will tear him apart though because I have finally learned how to use armor to support an assault. And I have plenty of armor.

Elvis - we have a PBEM operation in suspend mode. He is too frightened to TCP me now after the last shellacking I gave him. Chicken livered wank.

I was supposed to send Mace a file. Never got around to it. Someday soon.

JD? dunno. thought we were going to fight. dunno

Croda - challenged me again and gave me CANADIANS. just for spite. I hate him. fortunately he is so terrible that I will be able to beat him like a plastic drum without even trying.

Piss off

Peng

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That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable

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I have some unresolved issues I need to attend to. First, I've retired my Hiram Sedai persona. I feel that my current login is much more accurate. Your derision is welcome.

I've entered into a Gentleman's Agreement with some of you who post in the Peng thread. I promised that I would play PBEM with you. My personal life will not allow me to fulfill my end of that agreement. So, I must do this. This has weighed heavily upon my mind and I must take care of this now.

So, I request that Lorak do this:

Please record a loss for me and a win for the following people:

1. Seanachai

2. Major Tom

3. Croda

4. Goanna

5. jd

6. OGSF

7. Berlichten

8. PeterNZer

9. Germanboy

10. Mensch

11. Marlow

12. MRPeng

*If you want a Ceasefire via Email, let me know via Email

*If you want a full surrender via Email, ditto

There is only one PBEM I will continue with. When I have beaten him, I will know that I'm capable of actually playing this game well.

If anyone listed here objects to my post, please email me. If you want a Cease Fire instead, please email me. I feel like an ass doing this, but I cannot return the turns as quickly as each of you demand. I simply cannot comply.

I have to say this in closing. I'm a better person because of my dealings with many of you. Thanks for the tutelage and the encouragement. I'm glad to find that there is a group of people with rough exteriors and good hearts. You may now scratch me off your collective list of people to play.

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I noticed that my name wasn't on the list so I assume that it is me you will continue to play. If that's the case...WHERE THE HELL IS MY DAMN FILE!!!!!

The following statement I will say to you privately and not make public. Just because you aren't able to play all these games now doesn't mean that you won't be able to play these people at some point in the future. So why do you sound like you are never playing CM again?...OOPS..I ended up saying it publicly anyway. Damn.

------------------

"When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello

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I am back you sorry lot of pig vomit. Prior commitments kept me away from the board for some time and I must say that what I have read lately, trying to catch up mind you, has disturbed me.

I see that the locals where Stuka has been off to are not bright enough to kill the repetitive bastard and feed him to the crocs. I demand that the whole of its tribe be injected with lethal amounts of Ebola and clubbed to submission.

And what is with this Hiram fellow? He is trying to make himself a Martyr by resolving his 'membership', like that were possible. Well Hiram this is not the Girl Scouts. Your den mommie cannot just write a note for your absence. This collection is like a Crip member that received his B. S. from Sally Struthers home-schooling. You will be hunted down and 'Let Out' by the good graces of several size 11 boots.

Phillies Phan seems appropriate for a such a sorry quitter. I doubt even that over-aged bunch of pulled groins would want their loser name associated with such a forfietter.

'Here you go Cardinals, we give you the win because it was just a matter of time anyway'

And to give Croda a win is akin to letting the French march into Paris like some kind of liberators. That mook couldn't win at a game of CM if she were playing a chicken who was trained to peck the keyboard for feed.

You will be scratched off alright. Right from the face of Earth.

In Games just now being processed;

Seanamoo-moo is hiding like a hit and run rapist in anger. I fear the worst from him. Maybe he will Quit too?

Croda cant stop dying. It is the one thing the lad does well, except for shaving his legs in record time.

What does that leave me? It leaves me with an open card. Markwhore , how bout I knock that grog right off your shoulder?

or how about you Elvira ? Do you think your suggar daddy Peng give your bottom a rest and let you come play for a while?

To the other entrails of this thread, come and get some of my CM manhood or Piss Off!

[This message has been edited by von shrad (edited 02-24-2001).]

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Originally posted by Phillies Phan:

I have some unresolved issues I need to attend to. First, I've retired my Hiram Sedai persona. I feel that my current login is much more accurate. Your derision is welcome.

I've entered into a Gentleman's Agreement with some of you who post in the Peng thread. I promised that I would play PBEM with you. My personal life will not allow me to fulfill my end of that agreement. So, I must do this. This has weighed heavily upon my mind and I must take care of this now.

So, I request that Lorak do this:

Please record a loss for me and a win for the following people...

Lorak!

Do not scribe it! I will not accept a victory that has not occured.

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Originally posted by MrPeng:

KITTY - yes that's right, boys, Kitty and I are at hazard. I am stomping her guts out. It will be over soon. However, I will not brag or boast about it. The less said the better. suffice to say that there are some people in the world who can and will beat me. She is not one of them.

Hi, love! =) I beg to differ on the stomping thing. What was it that I said during setup? "I bought the most worthless crap I could so that in the unlikely event that I should lose, not even you would dare boast of the victory." So after rejecting Peng's feeble attempt to get me to accept his surrender, my valiant US infantry Hamsters continue to heroically fend off his massed armor attacks. Regardless, I doubt even Elvis would call your 43% victory percentage on turn 14 of 25 a "stomping."

I'll be sending you the next turn sometime in the next hour. =)

Kitty

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Hamsters at War!

Chicks With Tanks

Lorak's FTX

"I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka

The True Blue Aussie Slang Source

The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website

Jesus Dress Up!

The McNoldy Group

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Hello Gentlearses!

In hopes of boring you all to tears, fueling the fires of hatred for myself, and ruining your day too, I've decided to post.

Let it be known that I, Treeburst155, the purulent lesion festering upon the body of The Thread stubbornly persist. The disease that has spawned me grows stronger by the hour and is even now nesting comfortably in the spinal cord of this unholy body. In time, the mental acuity of all who post here will erode, allowing my witless drivel to shine forth as the noonday sun.

The pus that is my lifeblood is mustering, soon to burst forth onto the already psoriatic skin of The Thread, propagating new Treeburst155 lesions. The immune system of The Thread will suffer total supression under the barrage of my siblings in a fashion not unlike a 155mm treeburst. Once suppressed my father the disease will assault The Thread, taking his toll on the minds of the members. Eventually, instead of wit, culture, and CM the knights and squires of The Thread will be reduced to Pokemon, comic books, and dry discussions outlining the pros and cons of various denture adhesives available at Walmart. Did I forget to mention your teeth will fall out?

There is only one way to avoid the catastrophic final stages of the Treeburst155 disease. You must all gather your wives, children, and pet hamsters and partake of the communal Kool-Aid. You will rest peacefully in purgatory (No Penger has a chance at heaven) with full knowledge that you have not only avoided a degrading demise but that you have, in the end, FINALLY done something beneficial to humanity.

Hopefully at this point I've accomplished my goals for this post as I have no more time to waste on you pedantic pederasts. NOW, SAW IT OFF!!

Oh, one more thing I'm sure no one cares about. I'm presently doing battle with StevietheRunt in addition to Squirmygirl. If they don't post regular updates I most certainly will as I enjoy boring you all. Keep in mind pitiful Stevie is not to blame for the fact we are playing. Like any self respecting member of The Thread he loathes having to do so much as exchange email with me. His knight PeeterVD is to blame for his predicament. As for Spermygirl, I do believe I actually insulted him. NOW, SAW IT OFF CORRECTLY THIS TIME!!

Treeburst 155

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Originally posted by von shrad:

I am back you sorry lot of pig vomit... Markwhore , how bout I knock that grog right off your shoulder?

You musta snorted a whole line of Viagra, your von knighthoodedness, sir.

First, let me say that I will accept Hiram's surrender. I am not and was not playing him. But if I was, he would have lost anyway. Perhaps I could take the surrender that Berli rejected. It's a petty, unkind, and capricious act, so in lieu of any reason not to, I'll have that victory. He'll always be Hiram to me, though. The only thing more worthless than baseball was Hiram.

I just found out that my would-be real estate agent is a former jarhead, so he is fired.

Now Mr. Schrad, if you're feeling froggy (sorry Pb), why not jump into a little setup and send it my way? I have recently declared on a slug of, well, slugs, and humiliating you publicly shouldn't be much of an additional commitment. I am tired of doing QB setups; I feel like a damn tactical ATM machine lately.

It would be a nice touch if you got a medium map from some empathetic third party, such as the otherwise worthless Germanfellow, that let us pick our own 1500-2000 worth of killware. Then we could play on a map that didn't look like Peng's notion of the Afterlife.

Or you could simply post your alt-U here and spare me some minor inconvenience. Ball's in your court.

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