Joe Shaw Posted February 25, 2001 Share Posted February 25, 2001 Mensch you idiot, it's a COPSE of trees, not a Corps ... unless they're Ents of course, maybe HairAGone could advise us on that. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 25, 2001 Share Posted February 25, 2001 Originally posted by mensch: sad realy your wife is writing me how worried she is about you and btw.. she looks real hot in that black nightie .. tell her to send more photos of her on the couch.. those are wow. That's not my wife, you nong! My wife gave up worrying about me years ago. btw NAYE (sorry, missed the vote on another thread, thought I'd cast a postal vote here) Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by Mark IV: Christamighty, if this is your notion of the afterlife, eats lots of health food. This is HELL. vS, your setup will be some time coming, as it will take until Tuesday to locate my forces in this Pandemonium. This map is a tribute to the good sense of Americans (and our Canadian client state) to wage their wars on other people's property. Quite real, alas. Roight you assembled offal. Politeness lesson, class is in session. Sit down all. Teacher (let's call him Andreas): Now, what has Markedfouraloss just learned? Yes Treeburst, I see you are new and keen as mustard. Treeburst: When asking the toppler of Berli, who once reigned supreme in Morder, the one otherwise known as the Witchking of Angmar for a map and forces, it behoves us to be polite. Andreas: It does indeed, Treeburst, it does indeed. You learn quickly. I hope you will be as observant at the large amounts of death and destruction that I shall endeavour to deliver upon your unsuspecting minions. All, have we got that? Be nice if you want a favour. If youn want hell, ask for it. While Berli is clearly unable to deliver, since his hell has frozen over, the mere embers of the furnaces stoked in mine will be enough to burn you beyond recognition. Carry on now, class dismissed. Next lesson: why it is a very bad mistake and makes you look stoopid if you insinuate Andreas is a racist. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YK2 Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Call this Paradise?????? *Looks around* sheesh, some people are easy pleased, I am not impressed. And where is my lounger? I mean surely if this is indeed paradise Nick would be giving me my massage.. Towel boy...... fetch me another pina colada I am bored...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by YK2: Call this Paradise?????? *Looks around* sheesh, some people are easy pleased, I am not impressed. And where is my lounger? Well, to turn it into your version of paradise I guess all we have to do is add sheep, a green hillside and a bunch of people looking into their pints depressedly because their nation got their butt kicked bad by the Pommies in the Six Nations Cup. What on earth do you need a lounger for? Isn't that something usually done by oneself? ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YK2 Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by Germanboy: Well, to turn it into your version of paradise I guess all we have to do is add sheep, a green hillside and a bunch of people looking into their pints depressedly because their nation got their butt kicked bad by the Pommies in the Six Nations Cup. What on earth do you need a lounger for? Isn't that something usually done by oneself? Guess you're right on all counts. Remind me to thanks you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 26, 2001 Author Share Posted February 26, 2001 Tis true all that Joe said, the gamey bastard, As he admitted he WILL use the edge f the board! Now why after keeping his panthers and halftracks well back all game long, did they suddenly, in the last turn act like Evil Kneivel, popping wheelies and racing for the middle of a wheatfield, there to sit near the major VL while my bazookas were trying to plink em? This was a major victory to get a draw as Joe popped a cap on my two poor tanks, sending them to Valhalla by turn 4 so that his 4 Panthers, 8 Skzd's and TWO (2) Kubelwagons of Death™ had 26 turns to grind my brave lads beneath their jackbooted heels. It didn't happen. So in overcomimg the severest of odds to hold the Hun at bay, a major win in a draw. Lawyer vs Mormon wives? Hmmm I'll stick with the professionals....(well except for the snake) See Joe, spin is everything ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 For the record, Hiram Phillies-Phondler Sedai can shove his surrender up his arse. I may have the worst record since Germany, but I'll take ne freebies. ------------------ Woot! - Maximus2k The New CessPool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Hmm. Shouldn't Paradise have a bouncer or something? A guy calling himself Aragorn flounces in here dripping Prof. Tolkien verse like Meeks' sister drips stale seed, and no one thrashes him? Hmm. Is it up to me? Hmm. Anyway, DSL: Still out, but I guess no one cares but me. PeterBeater: I surrendered, he owns my sig for a month. He cheated, of course. Rematch on the way this week. nijis: A sound thrashing and lessons learned for me - don't stop and smell the roses for too long, or they will kill you muchly. He also must have cheated though. Marlowbrow: Owes me the last turn. this one might be closer than either of us expected, thanks to my brilliant play. Cromag: Our rematch goes well for me so far. Lots of his chilluns yelling "Medic!" and "My arm!". I might get my dog's ears back after all. ------------------ I LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER BATTLE TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS NOW HIS AND I AM HIS SLAVE. PLEASE ABUSE ME AS YOU SEE FIT AND CALL ME A DOO-DOO HEAD. IT IS MY PLACE IN LIFE, I WILLINGLY ACCEPT IT. [This message has been edited by dalem (edited 02-25-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by mensch: sad realy your wife is writing me how worried she is about you and btw.. she looks real hot in that black nightie .. tell her to send more photos of her on the couch.. those are wow. Grego, old Bratwurst. Before you trip over yourself running to the spare room to get the box of tissues and the jar of vaseline, how about you send those turns you owe me? Then and only then may you continue with your wanking extravaganza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 OK, it's been a very long time since there was something worth reading out in the other part of the forum, but "The story of two numb nut newbies" by Boru is a must. ------------------ "Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change." -- Oddball "Crap." -- Moriarty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by jd: Lawyer vs Mormon wives? Hmmm I'll stick with the professionals....(well except for the snake) I'm watching you, jd , ya gamey bastard with yer cheap taunts. If I wasn't so busy with other gamey bastards, I'd cut off your Viagra prescription. ------------------ If you can read this, you are too smart to be in the Cesspool. [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 02-25-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 26, 2001 Author Share Posted February 26, 2001 Jake..Comparing our photos, I'd say yer obviously a "Bob Dole man" ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram [This message has been edited by jd (edited 02-25-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by dalem: DSL: Still out, but I guess no one cares but me. Let me have the pleasure to be the first to confirm that, long-haired wonderboy. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Get a haircut, Hippy. Or are you auditioning for a gig with 'Monster Magnet'? [This message has been edited by Stuka (edited 02-26-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by Stuka: Get a haircut, Hippy. Or are you auditioning for a gig with 'Monster Magnet'? Which Hippy you addressing? Sheesh, can you be more specific? you'll have most of the poolers reading this (and some of the wannabees) and wondering if it's meant for them! btw Monster Magnet? WHOA - LIKE...TOTALLY AWESOME HEAVY METAL, DUDE!!! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 To All My PBEM Victims, you gutless gamey slime: I will be gone and CM-less 'til Wednesday night. Suffer. Those of you thoughtful enough to return the correct turns within the last quarter have already been notified with your returns. Schradlet, your setup is in the mail. The next time I ask Germanboy for the Bismark and bombers I will need to specify that I was planning to use them. In this map, it appears they just left. Elvis has had the methane let out of one of his AFVs, as I am halfway across the rune-map of Three Ridges. This was achieved at extreme range by a Boy Scout with an air rifle. All the more surprising, since he chortled that some puffs of smoke I placed had revealed the inner secrets of my soul. Peng sent me his IRS return or something instead of the proper turn, but is probably dying. Moriarty is catching his rays but they are about 30 thousandths of an inch around. He is lurking some giant beasts in the background and I am falling right into his trap by removing all the infantry blocking their view. It is so long since I heard from Geier that I forgot exactly who or what we were playing. I know it was in the Crimea, but that's about all. I had placed all the wickerworks and fed the horses, but it never really got started. Pawbroon has disappeared as usual, but will probably return out of the gloom with more surprisingly furious, but pointless, assaults. Can't remember who else. Please die at your scheduled intervals, anyway, or all at once for extra credit. Remember to vote the Free Speech ticket for Moderator! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Game updates: Having the flu is not a good thing. But in my delerium, I still managed to view and reply to Crawdad's latest turn. Ahh, and it was balm to a sick man's soul. Exactly what the proper analogy for the behavior of his troops is still excapes me at the moment, so I'll put them forth here for a vote. Analogy 1: Crawdad's troops are just being "good little frenchies..." They gave it a good go, and stuck out the battle for the first 8 minutes, while my second stringers were in the match, but now all I can see generally speaking is arseholes and elbows while they flee for the far side of the map crying out "Mon Dieu!" and "Au secours!!"... Analogy 2: Here you go pardners!! We got us a real old time Western roundup going on. (For all you folks across the waters who might have led a deprived life, that is kind of like what Mace does each Friday night in his backyard to line up dates for the weekend...) The greenhorn Stugs were sent out first to flush them Frenchies outta their varmit holes, and now the experienced cowboys are here to corrall 'em up in a particular copse of woods and exterminate them. Why they're worse than groundhogs, what with all the holes their arty is leaving all over the place. Of special reward is the feeling you get (SIT DOWN BAUHAUS! IT AIN'T THAT KIND OF FEELING...) watching the Frenchies decide that retreating into and through their own artillery barrage is better than facing my armor. Yeehawwwww!!!!!!! ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Let me explain it for you. With the exception of one MG team on the far side of the map, my green French behavior can be categorically categorized into one of three categorizations: I. Routed and running for their worthless lives. Weapons have been thrown away as they are too heavy to effectively run with. The rear of the pants is ****e-stained and the boots are full of piss. II. Cowering and playing Ostrich. Weapons are held on to and are being used to dig their own graves. These men have either lost the will to run away, or don't have any legs left. III. Dead. Self-explanatory. You know something you SOB, I actually thought I had a fighting chance against the 10 Stugs. Then as soon as I KOd 2 of them, in comes the cavalry. Tigers and Panthers. You should be strung up by your epididimus. The rematch will not be pretty, I promise you that. ------------------ Woot! - Maximus2k The New CessPool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 oooOOOgah, oooOOOgah, oooOOOgah Attention CessPoolers and all the ships at sea, it's time for JOE'S GAME UPDATES: 1) jd, as has been previously reported to this forum, by his own admission used gamey tactics in order to eak out a draw. No matter, a new challenge has been flung at his feet (made a nice splash too) and IF he has the cojones to accept it, we will finally have a determination of who is the better man ... HINT: bet the farm on the guy from Utah. 2) Peter N Zer is still holding his ground in the dark and gloom. He has lost forces, I have lost forces ... I have more. Since this is a Blood Hamster match, I am accepting suggestions for what his new sig will be after I've triumphed. 3) Mace has foolishly ignored my offer of a cease fire in place ... forgive him, my friends (and Andreas) he knows not what he does. 4) Hakko Ichiu ... is out of commission for a bit, hope he comes back soon, I could use the victory. 5) Goanna, having been provided with the proper turn, was apparently so unnerved by the tactical genius I showed that he has retreated into the sands of Arabia again (no doubt trying to "channel" Lawrence) and has not responded to my turn ... can't blame him really. As to the rest of you, you are as but slime beneath my feet ... speaking of which where IS that new squire of mine? Agua, oh Agua lad, my boots have slime beneath them again, wouldn't do to have your Knight and Master lose his footing now would it? Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by Mark IV: Yup, same thing here. Ol' Peng must be snortin' some of whatever schradchen was having. Really oughta download the PBEM manager from KMan's site... it prevents things like this. Remembers passwords, too... works with everyone except Elvis who cannot grasp the concept of consecutive file numbering. Or has grasped it, and worked it back and forth very quickly until, sated, he crumpled weakly against the bathroom door, all thoughts of order and reason gone from his head. Oops, wrong thread. So, uh, can I get a link? And is this thing going to tax my already addled, sh*tforbrains head? Or will it really make my life easier? Peng ------------------ That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable [This message has been edited by MrPeng (edited 02-26-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: So, uh, can I get a link? And is this thing going to tax my already addled, sh*tforbrains head? Or will it really make my life easier? Peng Just do whatever the hell it takes to remember to send the file back to me! You haven't even returned the damned Setup yet!!! We've heard about cabbages, but you sir are a grapefruit. Your thick and dull on the outside, and mushy, bitter and pink on the inside. Nobody likes you, but they keep you around because they think you're good for them. And just like a rotten grapefruit, I'm going to smash your head on the sidewalk from the third floor balcony. Now send those freeking canooks back to me so I can beat you like an egg with a pan in his future. ------------------ Woot! - Maximus2k The New CessPool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: As to the rest of you, you are as but slime beneath my feet ... speaking of which where IS that new squire of mine? Agua, oh Agua lad, my boots have slime beneath them again, wouldn't do to have your Knight and Master lose his footing now would it? You bellowed, your cronemongeringness? Slime beneath your boots, eh? You sure you're not just standing on mensch? Ah well, Cesspool muck is all alike. Send 'em on over. Updates: stevetherat and I are exchanging mortar fire and providing the National Arbor Day Foundation with plenty of grist for its next fundraiser letter, but no real contact yet. Major Tom has gone AWOL after my gamey (gamily lucky, that is) Puppchens KOed three of his tanks in one turn and my arty started falling on his infantry spearhead hidden in the trees. Seanachai evidently posts even less than I do these days and has still not responded to my several challenges with a setup. I begin to see why he is so reviled as a slow player in addition to being a long-winded blowhard (sit down, Bauhaus)with only superficial knowledge of Surrealist drama, eye-wateringly bad personal hygeine, and tactical ability that even Croda would disdain. Does my liege need help crossing the street? Yes, it's safe, now. I'm sure that truck can stop in time--the ice on the road helps cool the brakes. Agua Perdido ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Originally posted by Agua Perdido: blah...blah...blah...Mention Croda...blah...blah...blah Agua Perdido That's enough! I have watched you take my name in vain one too many times. Look at you playing Seanachai and TheRat...people even I can oust. I demand that you send me a setup and I demand that you do it now! Make it large, make it small, make it attack, make it defense, I care not. The fact of the matter is that I HAVE YOUR WATER YOU SUNUVABITCH!!! Now come and get it if you've got the stones. You will find my email in my profile, your mother will find your limp body prostrate at my feet in a pool of its own blood. And if you send me anything gamey, I'm sending it back! I have enough gamey BS going on with that sunuvanewt Oberst. You've danced your jig, now it's time to pay the piper. ------------------ Woot! - Maximus2k The New CessPool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 My Loyal and Promising Squire Prompty Replied: You bellowed, your cronemongeringness? Slime beneath your boots, eh? You sure you're not just standing on mensch? Now, now Agua, you MUST begin paying more attention in class. If you'll check the notes from CessPool Recognition 101 you'll see that Mensch is actually BENEATH slime in the natural order of things. Granted he does add a certain "crunchy" feel to the slime, but never confuse him with actual slime which, as we all know, is adequately represented by the majority of the denizens of the 'pool. Further, while it is true that Major Tom is TECHNICALLY a squire, he has neglected his duties alarmingly and has not been seen for ... (Joe consults his Palm Pilot Calendar) ... forever. Therefore, your posting of results for the game are of no interest to the 'pool. The reports on your remaining matches, on the other hand, show great promise and I congratulate you upon them and invite the rest of the 'pool to applaud them as I do. Hear, hear. I note with interest the challenge offered you by someone beneath my notice, I trust you appreciate the effect my acceptance of you as squire has had to your game list? Now get in there and beat the silly person ... uh ... sillier. Does my liege need help crossing the street? Yes, it's safe, now. I'm sure that truck can stop in time--the ice on the road helps cool the brakes.Ah {sniff} you are too kind to an old Knight, my lad, it's {sob} quite moving actually. Surely I have the finest squire in the land ... Oh I say, that puddle will soil my newly cleaned boots ... no, no, not your cloak, that cost good money ... lie down in the puddle yourself. There's a good lad, mind the hobnails. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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