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Peng in Paradise


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Originally posted by Lorak:

1) ... you are upset that I didn't add your picture to our cessphoto page ...

2) .... I'm busy...

All I ask in the e-mail is a description on the map.

Lorak the loathed

Dork-kak: No, as they say in the Outer World Beyond the Encircling Walls of PENG: Do a Search! If you were to do such a thing -- which I am sure you know not how -- you would find that nary once have I mentioned "my picture" and your page. Rightful textual recognition, certainly; I am a better, lower form of life than most of you here. But a picture?!? I am sorry that you are so hot and lonely for pix of other guys (K & E excepted, I'm sure).

And, we all know what a busy, important MAN you are, Lorak! Mmmmm, thinking about how busy you could be just makes me feel so... so... (Madmatt: No! you may NOT say that! knock it off now!)

Your Field of Shame will be along shortly -- oops! didn't mean to hit you so close to home with that word!

------------------

"I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory."

"Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS

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Germanboy,

Gamey crap?! Me? I don't need 6 Pershings to crush you. A few squads and 27 jeeps for recon will suffice.

You have nothing to worry about. I wouldn't waste my time or yours with gamey crap even though your whole life is probably a waste.

MarkIV,

Are you as mediocre as your handle implies? Once I tar and feather Spermygirl I'm coming after you. I find you especially loathsome. At least Germanboy has the guts to take on the unknown.

Treeburst155

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Iskander,

How it saddens me to prove you so wrong and full of crap.

but here goes anyway....

Posted on page one of this thread:

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/016322.html

For others I'll add the quote of your mewing in case you are gamey enough to change it.

This, of course, is my graduation photo from Hauptamptwaffenspankensnortinschule bis Hamstertruppen Pionieren I.

Post it, Lorak... I'm as much as Squire as C69 or StFink... get on it you fey git!

I would say you are a dissapointment, but then that is common knowledge.

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

[This message has been edited by Lorak (edited 02-22-2001).]

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Stevie my Squire. This Treeburst fellow is prooving ugly, rude, smelly and i think he's wee'd his pants. Please best him in a battle of MY CHOOSING!

Stevie, the paramaters shall be

1) End of war

2) Bright day

3) Dry

4) top notch hilly

5) top notch woody

6) All armor, computer pick, veteran.

I expect him bested soon and his head on a platter as supplication to me. Loose and I will be forced to give you a beating.

PeterNZ

------------------

"What do I care, I got laid last week" - Chupacabra

"Bjorn again are really quite good!" - Germanboy

- Official owner of the sig files of Dalem and Croda -

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Originally posted by Treeburst155:

Are you as mediocre as your handle implies?

You know nothing of my handle, lucky lad. It is a great, weighty, purple-headed, dog-legged sort of thing. Respect it, and you need not fear it.

As to mediocrity, I aspire to be only as great as that which was proven in abundance on three continents in skillful hands. You, apparently, aspire to be a puff of smoke.

A lofty goal for what is already a loathesome vapor, and doubtless within your reach. What is it with twinkies, always two to a package?

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Originally posted by Lorak:

...Posted on page one of this thread:

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/016322.html

Lorak the loathed

Dimbulb over the Stove: I am sorry, yes truly sorry for you. I wonder, have the eldil of Thulcandra got you so far into their grasp? Unfortunate, but what can one expect in this sad age? But, I must to the matter.

The sorrow I feel is from your sad, misguided action of dragging the horrid world that is beyond Festung Pengopa into the darkness that is our home. We all venture out into the land of Grogs and wogs, but we assume masks there, hiding what we are to pass amongst the 'danes for a while; sometimes to guide and sometimes to lead astray. But all of us, Squires, Knights and even you, are gently enwrapped by the gauzy muslin of Peng that keeps us just a little separate and them just a tad distant.

What we say there and what we say here are as different as between wandering down Rush Street drunk and quietly contemplating the Pieta. No action, no word, no gesture on the Outside reaches back to us here. In our home we are what we are, to paraphrase an extremely important trio.

So: hold me to what my Beyond-the-Peng-Thread post said? Sure, Lorak. And, why not also mention what I said in the meeting at 1030 today about Sealy Mattress Company and their Marketing Deparment. One is as relevant as the other. Peng is Peng and Board is Board and Life is Life ... never shall they meet.

I thought to have you apologize for your heretical actions, but that would be like Mace excusing his cigarette smoke to the sheep afterwards. So, your file will be along shortly, and the map will be flat, barren and scortched under a blistering sun, like our spirits beneath the gaze of PENG.

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Originally posted by Iskander:

I thought to have you apologize for your heretical actions, but that would be like Mace excusing his cigarette smoke to the sheep afterwards.

I would never have to excuse my cigarette smoke to the sheep afterwards because I don't smoke!

Please refrain from publishing errant content or I will have to consult with the Pool's legal advisors regarding possible future legal action.

Thank you.

Mace

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I have received a file from MarkIV. All I have to say is that it is about time. If Mace had half of your balls....then I guess you would have twice as many balls as him.

That mudrat has been saying for weeks that he would send a file yet continues to crawl away.

And Marlow....yes you did beat me. You are one of the lucky few. You caught me in a weak moment (oh sure ..rub it in that the weak moment lasted a month. But when you pile up a win loss record as strong as mine then you can start barking. Until then you are a piker. A wantabe...your kind makes me sick.

------------------

"When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello

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Since this place has recently been populated by a slurry of horrid characters, I thought I would step out of mine for a moment and say just how truly not pissed off I am to finally have DSL. It moves along quite nicely, thank you. TCP/IP games with those what got it already should be even better. And downloading PBEMs will actually not be like having a flint driven into my skull anymore. I am so not pissed off that I think I shall allow myself an extremely uncharacteristic show of not pissed offedness. Here goes:

Woot!

Peng

edited to remove an excessive "Woot!"

------------------

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable

[This message has been edited by MrPeng (edited 02-22-2001).]

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Iskander,

My what a long post to admit that you were wrong. Seanachai better keep his eye on you. He would be crushed if someone came in and was as verbose as he.

As for invoking outside threads... yes it is in bad form. I admit that freely. But when Penger's speak of other penger's anywhere...it is fair game.

I look forward to playing you. Other than being wrong and an idiot ,(umm, you might just fit in here), I find that your postings are somewhat amusing.

Yes..soon you will see why I truly loath myself.

[out of charactor]

Mr. Peng.

Dsl and cable.... two great joys in life. Don't know how I lived as long as I did without them.

Good luck and enjoy[/out of charactor]

May the rest of you have maggots infest your wounds... (sounds bad, but in reality they will keep the wound clean, little survival tid bit).

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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Marlow, Ah ha' gi'en ye tha benefit o' mah doubt. Ye couldnae be tha most enormous twat tha' e'er fell oot o' [lockable] places. But at seems ye are.

Widye noo step up tae tha bar an' have ye impressive record o' feeve games shattered bah a wee beating? Shall we say 1250 points, meeting, random time and weather, combined arms? Ye fetid bastarrrd.

Ye are challenged laddie, an' Ah mean that ain every nasty way possible.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

------------------

You posture more than Marcia Brady with books on her head and you chatter like a dolphin near the fish bucket. - Dalem

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Originally posted by Mace:

I would never have to excuse my cigarette smoke to the sheep afterwards because I don't smoke!

Please refrain from publishing errant content or I will have to consult with the Pool's legal advisors regarding possible future legal action.

Thank you.Mace

I most humbly beg your Shagger's forgiveness... but as I am very busy hammering nails into the hands of jd and the feet of Lawyer (no bold/no accident), don't hold your breath on legal representation.

PS I hope the energy experiments at Pine Gap go horribly wrong and turn all of your sorry landmass into a gigantic atoll. Hve a nice day!!!

------------------

"I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory."

"Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS

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Originally posted by Lorak:

Iskander,

Other than [you] being wrong and an idiot...

...soon you will see why I truly loath myself.

Lorak the loathed

I cannot dispute Item #1... I'm here, arn't I?

Don't fret Item #2: you are pre-loathed. Your file in on the way... curl into a ball and smoulder now, please.

------------------

"I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory."

"Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS

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Ahh Iskander,

I see the file has made it to my house, sad really since I'm at work. I need to really shoot whoever made NT our work platform. Should be a law against not letting people play CM at work.

That being said. I am happy to take the huns on defense. I am really bad on defense. So while I might lose and loath myself even more than normal... I welcome the practice.

would you consider 20 or so pupchins gamey wink.gif (sorry peng)

Lorak the loathed

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

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Shoot! I just posted a new comment section!

Anyhow, I'm new. I read about this game in Knights of the Dinner Table (GREAT humor comic based on roleplaying- mainly D and D- rivals Fineous Fingers). Picked this group because of the volume and off the wall posts. Played the demo, and I'm hooked. Waited all my life for a game like this to come out. Thank God I'm still in my early 30s. If I was 70, I'd destroy the computer with a brick and curse God for the irony.

TRYING not to offend anyone, one post reads:

"A Penger tends to suffer from excess intelligence, over-education, and complete frustration because these things are not enough to enable him to beat the rest of us in CM."

OK- My thoughts- anyone smart enough to follow WWII history and be addictive to complex games of strategy (so as to not buy the cheat book- instead, they buy a book on tank combat written by a German veteran, and put it next to the other 100 books they own in similar subjects)- is probably within the top 5 percent of any USA IQ test. All the posts I've read seem to indicate intelligent, educated, well read people.

But the slams are MERCILESS! My take on that is: everyone here knows that they're pretty damn smart, in one way or another. When one person of this calibre gets slammed by another, it's the ultimate insult. Eventually, one person pretends to be Einstein, proclaiming the other as the village idiot. My favorite posts are the truly funny ones. You all know what they are. The funny thing about these posts: people try to slam the posters of the funny posts once in a while, as well.

I noticed quite a few of you quote obscure sources (I'm trying to sound smart- really, I am) smile.gif My favorite quote (listed on my Yahoo ID from a long time ago):

"Gentlemen! You can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

-Dr Strangelove, or, How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb

P.S.- Aragorn would like the game more if there were +4 magical 88s (Behold- the gun that was broken!)

P.S.S.- I've played the demo- should be expecting the game Monday! I can't wait! I've spent about 300 dollars so far on Advanced Squad Leader modules, rules, and issues of The General, all of which I'll probably never use. However, I can transform some of these scenarios into actual form. Damn, we live in the ultimate age! If Beethoven was alive today, he wouldn't have written anything! In fact, he'd be yelling, "I'm alive! Christ! Dig me up!"

Tom- Dammm the spell check!

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Originally posted by Loderunner:

Shoot! I just posted a new comment section!

Och laddie, Ah'm supreesed ye kin walk wi' tha cojum's tae wander aintae the Wun Troo Thraid. Firrst, welcome tae tha Wonderful World o' Combat Mission.

Second, ye noo wannae cam ain here Jimmy, tae tha Cesspool, wi' noo research. Ye need tae review tha previous incantations o' the Thraid, all 6000 posts, tae see wah' ye've done.

Mah advice tae yoo, as tae spend some time an' the main board "oot there", an' play ye gam a wee bit more, afore ye cam ain here.

Ah'm nae meanin' tae be snooty, trrrrust mae, at's fer yer ain good. Af'n ye choose tae hang aboot ain here, tak nae umbrage, cos ye'll be gettin' plenty laddie.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

Tak at easy ye scum, he didnae knoo wah' he's aat....

------------------

You posture more than Marcia Brady with books on her head and you chatter like a dolphin near the fish bucket. - Dalem

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Guest Wildman

Loadrunner,

As the welcome mat we call Seanachai has not yet arrived to take you by the hand and lead you around the place, allow me to give you a few suggestions.

First, while I completely understand why you would obviously be in awe of such intelligent and well-spoken individuals like ourselves, never...never..ever tell us that.

Second, the Pool is here to find your next victim, goad him unmercifully into a rage and then kill him in copious amounts when you battle. As has been said many times before, single out someone in the crowd. Verbally abuse him about the head and shoulders until he (or she) is forced to recognize you and feels the need to make you Die-a-Lot. Prepared to be ignored, spat upon, and generally used in violent and nasty ways.

If you persevere and answer in kind, you may eventually, eventually be tolerated. If you post once or twice and then vacate the area then we know you have neither the mental agility nor the internal fortitude to lounge in the Cess.

Now either sack up or SOD OFF!!!

--

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Originally posted by Loderunner:

Anyhow, I'm new.

Duh.

I read about this game in...

Yah, we picked it up off a passing Chessie System boxcar, spray-painted in livin culuh.

If I was 70, I'd destroy the computer with a brick and curse God for the irony.

Only good line.

TRYING not to offend anyone...

You're kidding, right?

OK- My thoughts...

CHOP.

Load, ya seem to have some vocabulary, though it runs to the obsequious, but speaking personally I like and deserve that.

But fut the whuck. You don't MEAN to be OFFENSIVE? Then what the HELL are you doing HERE? There are lots of places to not be offensive. There are lots of places where you can not smoke, not sell illegally modified sporting goods, and not exceed the posted speed limit. There are actually hundreds of places where you can not feign a scottish accent.

None of them are HERE. Some of us probably share your interests, your passions, your history, but we don't really give a rodent's posterior, nor a treeburst in a windstorm, we want some BILE, some GRUDGE, some 'TUDE!

Fire it up or put it back, you starry-eyed golly-gee pollyanna, and make some personal enemies QUICK. Words to the wise, or pearls before swine- you be the judge.

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Sigh. It took me even longer to find the Thread this time, and I was only out of town for 2 days. Fortunately the Mad One always leaves a trail of breadcrumbs to the new home. Thanks, jd, for restarting the Thread, but why can none of you grasp the fact that the Thread must have 'Peng Challenge' in it? Peng could not possibly be in Paradise. But the Peng Challenge Thread could go there. Tedious place, really. Paradise, I mean. After all, how do you know it's the best there is just because you can't think of anything better?

All that aside, although I haven't really got caught up on the new Thread, why are you doing a stage production of the Lord of the Rings? That strikes me as unusually bizarre, even for this place. Frankly, if the Peng Challenge Thread members are going to put on a show, it should probably be something like "Marat/Sade" (to give it it's short name), or something by Brecht&Weil. I mean, the members here could probably do well with 'The Threepenny Opera', or 'the City of Mahagony'. Still, from what I've read so far, either some nutter's come to the Thread, or one of you is practicing lines for a stage play. Confess, lads, who's playing the part of Aragorn?

Ah, well. I shall endeavour tomorrow to get caught up on the Thread. Tonight I concentrated on getting turns out to avoid hard words thrown at me by Berli, and Goanna, and other demanding chums. I'm sure a few more pages of reading will sort out who's playing which character. Is Bauhaus going to play Gollum, or is Moriarity? Seems to me this Thread is going to have a hell of a time coming up with people who can play the noble characters.

Really, lads, go with something else. I mean, think of the fun we could all have doing Weil sing-songs (that even sounds right for this place), gleefully inserting our fellows names into the songs!

peng was all present

and bauhaus was there

and shaw he was up for promotion

not that the Army gave a bugger who they were

when they fronted some heathen commotion

the troops live under

the cannon's thunder

from Sin to Kootch Bey-Har

moving from place to place

when they come face to face

with a different breed of fellow

whose skins are black or yellow

they quick as winking chop them into Beefsteak, TarTar!

mark iv found his whiskey too warm

and meeks found the weather too balmy

but berli took them both by the arm

said, boys, don't ever disappoint the army

the troops live under

the cannon's thunder

from Sin to Kootch Bey-Har

moving from place to place

when they come face to face

with a different breed of fellow

whose skins are black or yellow

they quick as winking chop them into Beefsteak, TarTar!

lorak's a write-off

and croda is dead

and jd was shot for looting

but young men's blood goes on being red

and the Army

still goes on a-head

Re-cruiting.

the troops live under

the cannon's thunder

from Sin to Kootch Bey-Har

moving from place to place

when they come face to face

with a different breed of fellow

whose skin is black or yellow

they quick as winking chop them into Beefsteak, TarTar!

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 02-23-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 02-23-2001).]

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Originally posted by jd:

Gawd just shoot me now....where do these idjits, yes that means you loadinhispants, come from!!!!!!

I say we make him play that new guy, whatshisname that isn't worth scrolling back up the page to figure out, at Crodaburg, and if they finish, and entertain us enough. The winner can stay and the loser has to go to Pengs house and play Hiram in a hotseat game.

------------------

"If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk)

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

I mean, the members here could probably do well with 'The Threepenny Opera', or 'the City of Mahagony'.

Well I tried to get people started on a little Frisch (and how apropo a selection it was) when we were back in Germany, but nobody picked up the bait. I was going to rename you Pedro and suggest we do Santa Cruz, but you took a blow to the head and forgot how to use a computer for a while. Then whoosh, the bald one comes and suddenly we're off to somewhere sunny.

a bit of brecht/weil removed

And if you're going to start singing brecht tunes, there's better ones. Here's the first part of one of my favorites, from The Wedding. I'm too lazy to type in the whole thing right now, or translate it, but it's perfect for the pool...

Ach, sie schmolzen fast zusammen

Und er fühlte: sie ist mein

Und das Dunkel schürt die Flammen.

Und sie fühlte: wir sind allein.

Und er küßte ihr die Stirne

Denn sie war ja keine Dirne

Und sie wollte keine sein.

I might get inspired to put in the rest after I watch the movie of morses troops dying in the second battle of our operation. He's going to get hammered from turn one...

------------------

"If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk)

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