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Hamstersss

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  1. You know what they don't tell you about Syria? Scheming nest of vipers, that's what. No, wait, everyone knows that. What they don't tell you is that the Syrians are the Romans. Phillipus--Phillip the Arab--Syrian. They're wops (Like me!) and they've always been happy to fiddle to the tune of whoever is in power. Syria doesn't have a hex, it is the hex. Arab defeat in every modern war has always rested firmly on Syria's shoulders. The failure of the Baathist movement? Syria. That bad egg roll you ate in 1987? Syria. Syria is the Strong Bad of the Islamic World. Lebanon is the Strong Sad of the Arab World, but that's another story.
  2. Well, now, warden, isn't that a pretty piece of work? Yup, been a long-time coming, been a long-time living here in this box, thinking about all you fine folks living a good life in the sun with all your fancy drinks and mini-skirts. Yup, well, I hope you don't mind me saying, but the more I think about all you happy folks with all your happy days, up there in the sun, it makes me want to tell the governor just exactly where he can shove that pardon. You could do that for me, warden. And if he don't understand, then have him come down to solitary, and I'll make sure he gets it right.
  3. Oh, yes, about that. I'm really and terribly sorry that the whole lot of you picked the wrong fork in the road so long ago. Poor, ugly bastards. If I still had my copy of CMBO or CMBB (Never did get the Eye-Talian one, was it any good?) I'd make sure to give you such a sound thrashing that you'd not well soon forget it. But, my wiki has been restored and needs much witticism about Kissinger's untoward influence on late 19th century Malaysia. You can come by and contribute, it's a much better cause than this rabble: http://dosomefink.com/wiki/index.php/Main_Page Or you can all perform a flying flop into the nearest thumbtacks-and-spent-rubbers patch. I'm okay, either way. I can't believe Lars has a boat and Abbott has a bus and Seanachai a wee, little dingy. I remember when the Peng Challenge was about more than the Department of Transportation...
  4. Heresy? Wasn't I king? I remember being king. I'm just hanging out until dosomefink recoalesces completely. Bughunter is still a mess and I have no wiki with which to express myself creative-like.
  5. Who cares what color the bridge is? And it's Nighttrain, you bastages. Criminy, even the dogs aren't as smart as they woulda been if the Split had gone the other way.
  6. Nobody would be pouring chocolate syrup on babies if the Split had gone the other way...
  7. Never woulda happened if it had been my thread that survived the Split. No sir, never woulda happened.
  8. If you're not killing zombies, you're not really living.
  9. Have I ever mentioned how similar you are to Garrison Keillor? I mean, it's kinda scary.
  10. How much would you pay for such a thing? A hundred dollars? A thousand dollars? Four-point-three trillion and change?
  11. A what? A what?! Man, I don't know a long 75 from Nebelwerfer. If I were to appear in one of those barroom jokes with Dorosh, I assure you, the madcap hilarity that 'twould ensue would relate directly to my misunderstanding of his description of a Canadian trenching tool as some form of sexual offer. So the Pope, a grog and a rabbi walk into a bar...
  12. I thought about getting into Joe Shawology once, back during the boom, but there were so few Joe Shaw heads around that the waiting list was eighteen miles long. Now look at me, I couldn't tell a late-imperial-epoch Joe Shaw from an early-metrosexual-epoch Joe Shaw. Please, Dalem, donate Joe Shaw's head, so that those kids get the chance I never had.
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