ned lud Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Im finding it increasingly difficult to find the time and the excuses to play. I'm quickly running out of excuses - anybody got any good uns' to help this chap out ? They better be good - my wife is violent. ------------------------------------------- 'Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, leave it up.' 'ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not a colour' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomm Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 The first question is: what excuses do you find for yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParaBellum Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 1.) "Playing? I'm not playing games, I'm just testing the TCP/IP configuration..." 2.) "Look honey, isnt that beautiful, you see that little lake next to that forest? And there, look at that lovely little chapel next to that romantic bridge. And can you hear the birds singing?" You should then make her leave the room before your 105mm arty starts pulverizing the lovely chapel, bridge and birds... 3.) Stop playing CM for a while. Start working longer, coming home late. When the telephone rings, run like hell to the phone and start whispering things like "Ah, sorry, I can't speak right now... Yes... tomorrow... bye" Buy a cheap women's eau de toilet and apply a few drops on yourself before coming home. Then, after some weeks buy your wife a big bunch of flowers. Tell her you love her. Start your normal life again. Start playing CM again. I doubt that she will interfere with such a "harmless" hobby anymore... PS: If she leaves you, you played your role too well. But at least you have time again for playing CM. [ 08-03-2001: Message edited by: ParaBellum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ned lud Posted August 3, 2001 Author Share Posted August 3, 2001 ....and another question ? Is it best to use 'target' or 'target wide' on the wife? ... I can almost guess the next posting ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Sorry honey, not tonight... All this artillery has given me a headache... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Havermeyer- Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Get a load of this. My hard drive just failed, and I'm trying to get some stuff off it. My wife says: Well, this is awful isn't it. Me: Yeah, I'm gonna try to recover as much as I can. Without being facetious, she says: Oh no, all your combat mission stuff is on there! Now, I'm thinking: mailbox, addresses, financial, software, downloads, and then CM. Then she says: Maybe we should get a new computer while we're at it... Now, I'm thinking: drool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by -Havermeyer-: Get a load of this. My hard drive just failed . . .Now, I'm thinking: drool.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You know, I hear Viagra takes care of that problem right quick. Just ask Joe Shaw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad Harrison Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 my wife wakes up at 3:30am to go to work, so she goes to bed EARLY! so what does that meant the night is spent doing? what better to spend those next 5 hours than playing the best game ever made! for those saturdays when shes awake, i bought a N64, and got her zelda. perfect solution! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSBoxer Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 What do you mean excuse??? I don't have to excuse or explain anything to my wife....I tell her how it's gonna be and if she don't like it then tough shi.... what dear? :eek: ...... nothing, just hanging out with the gang :confused: ..... O.K. dear what ever you say. Sorry guys gotta go! [ 08-03-2001: Message edited by: MSBoxer ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Capt Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Ahh the age ole cry of the goon. "Why can't she just leave me alone, until I want sex?!!" Tricky situation. Try adding a couple of youngsters and you will find out just how hard it can be to have this hobby. Why do women hate the game...well because they want to be the centre of your life and for all things to revolve around them. In return they spend all of your money, produce children (who take all of your money and then step over your dead body to get out the door) and sometimes let you have sex. CM to them is "the other woman". You desire it and love it. It is a threat and must be destroyed. So they often use tactic number one...The Nag. Yup nothing ruins a game quicker than a rapid fire Nag from defilade. Then they use the Threat..."stop playing or you can forget about Thur night num nums!!" and eventually you can expect the Silent Treatment...stone cold silence will greet you until they figure you have suffered enough and can be brought back into the glory of their presence. Now without going over the tired ol answers: "Start drinking", "Ask for sex instead, Har Har." and the freakish "Chase her away with a steak knife". What to do. Well here is what I do and it does work most times. First of all abandon all hope of TCP games. They will go thru an evening like stewed prunes thru a short Grandma. Nope best bet is PBEM. They take less time and can be spaced out. AI (or Mom as I like to call it re : "The Bi-Monthly Lurker" #3) isn't too bad but you had better be prepared to walk away now and again. Next "PUT THE GAME DOWN". Yup is may sound crazy but an evening of sitting on the couch watching TV with the ol ball and ch..er lovely bride, may just bank some CM time later. Stop sleeping. If you are young and can handle it, staying up late can get you a fix. Be warned it can lead to the "Late Night Nag" which can really turn a mans bowels to liquid. Take the game to work. Risky but doable, particularly at luch and coffee break. Be forewarned it can begin to take over and if you think The Wife is a threat..try The Boss and see how far you get. Now this is much easier is you are The Boss but then come the guilt issues. Get her into the game. Well like trying to talk her into a threesome, it is pretty much fantasy. Oh ya a few guys "claim" to have pulled it off and there is urban legend but I don't believe it. But you are welcome to try. And if you get luck please tell us how you did it. "ME TIME". Ok if you are really desperate you can try this one but you had better be holding down two jobs and be spending all sorts of time with the little pit vipers..er great kids. Cause if you try this one without the backup you are going to get "The Look" and you credibility for the next few years will be pretty much gone. If it works you may get a few begrudged minutes and some low frequency grumbling but a fix is a fix. Well that is about all I can think of right now. It is a tightrope we walk my friend but I still think you can get a lot out of the game and hey it is cheaper than cars or hunting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enoch Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 I can't guarantee this will work or that the long term problems might not be worse then the short term solution. My wife is pregnant with our first. The upside to this in terms of CM game time is that she is now quite tired all the time. After dinner she seems to fall asleep on the couch round about 8pm. That means I get 2-3 hours of game time if I want it. Now, as The_Capt points out above, this may backfire on me in the future once said kid actually pops out. But, for now, I have plenty of game time. So, you can increase your gaming time and contribute to the world's overpopulation problem all in "one shot." Your mileage with this strategy may vary. To be fair though my wife has never really been jealous of CM. Hopefully I can keep it that way. [ 08-03-2001: Message edited by: Enoch ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 It's all a question of semantics: "I'm not playing the game I'm processing turns." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xerxes Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Yo Enoch, you've got it made! Let me explain. 1. You'll have your bundle of joy. 2. Said bundle will wake you up at 1am and need to be fed or just held. 3. CM can be easily played with just the mouse. So. . . you get HUGE pts for saying,"don't worry hon, I'll take care of our darling, you sleep" and get a LOT of CM time. Then when you're exhausted during the day everyone at work and home will understand. This'll work until the baby sleeps through the night, at that point you can file away CM for a while. heh. - xerxes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spook Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 Xerxes!! Member no. 869, 27 posts to date, registered since Nov. '99? Still a "Junior Member"???!!!! Good GOD, you deserve to be nominated as the ULTIMATE CM forum board LURKER. Well, ned lud, what you could use as an added option is the "matter of honor" excuse. "Sorry I'm taking so long with this, honey, but I promised to play-test this for a fellow CM gamer. He's REALLY counting on my input. I hope I don't let him down." As the next option---be fair. Make sure that the "idiot box" (what my missus calls our computer) has stuff on there for her too. In my wife's case, she likes getting a Tetris fix now & then. Furthermore, allow that playing CM inevitably leads you to reference searches for the most OBSCURE tactical information or data. Eventually you'll have to pry your eyes off the PC long enough to read the stuff if it's hard-copy. That's another time to be "fair" and let your significant other have a turn on the PC. And even after all that, still leave time just to watch a rented video or listen to music or wash the dishes or change diapers. Keeps variety in your life. [ 08-03-2001: Message edited by: Spook ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Compassion Posted August 3, 2001 Share Posted August 3, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The_Capt: Get her into the game. Well like trying to talk her into a threesome, it is pretty much fantasy. Oh ya a few guys "claim" to have pulled it off and there is urban legend but I don't believe it. But you are welcome to try. And if you get luck please tell us how you did it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I don't know if I'm hooked into the geek swingers hotline, or what, but I have nearly completed this feat AND I'm playing a pari opf games with a husband and wife (and yes, I feel kind of dirty, but it's exciting at the same time!). Part 1) With the fiancee, I started a few years ago with a trip to the movies to see spr... not too long after I showed her the A Bridge Too Far and the Das Boot director's cut... as well as sprinkling in Kelly's Heroes and Three Kings down the road. Then last year went to the D-Day museum in New Orleans.... laugh at it if you want, but it's a great way to get the bug into the 'lay' person. I explained that lots of the nitty gritty was not in the museum but it was a nice overview... so she wanted more and read Overloard and 6 Armies and then looked up the Ost Front when Enemy at the Gates came out and read Fateful Siege. So since then we have been coming along slowly.. Up until then she had never played a computer game... and now she has played a couple. And the gloves come off in our next game. We'll see how that goes. I'm hopeing that the flames will be fanned next month when the Band of Brothers mini series starts. Case 2) I had been playing the Kiwi a few games when he sends me an email suggesting that I challenge his wife to a game... they are both listed on RD. She's more or less a beginner as well, but gets a turn generated every few days... Her old man balances it out as I usually exchange 7 or 8 emails with him a day. Mind expanding! The real trouble tha may be coming is that I have waxed his ass twice in a row heading towards a third trouncing... and I may just lose to his wife against whom I've made a couple of errors in setup and initial purchase that have haunted me now for several turns... I wonder what will happen then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scipio Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ned lud: ....and another question ? Is it best to use 'target' or 'target wide' on the wife? ... I can almost guess the next posting !<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Uhm...I guess that dependents on the size of the target - is she small and handy, or more, ehm, voluminous??? Well boys - I'm 32. I live together with two beautifull budgerigars. I must feed them twice a week. Close to my chair lies the sweatshirt I've taken off a few hours ago. In the kitchen you find the dirty dishes of one week, my clothes are not tortured with hot irons...etcetera etcetera and I play always as much CM as I want! Why should I ruin it with women when my LIFE IS SOOOO WONDERFUL :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumrox Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 I adhere to many of The Capt's philosophies, with some minor variations. My primary suggestion is "late night". This means a gradual trend towards total exhaustion as the week goes on, but if you are salaried, you don't lose money for coming in late. Can't beat that. Sleeping until noon on Saturday is just the thing to give you enough energy to start the next week's cycle. Not sure if this is possible with kids, but, not my problem. The Capt speaks the truth, however, when he warns of the "late night nag". Given that command, I can "Fast Move" the 15m and be "Taking Cover" in no time. No pillbox MG, no matter how accurately it wss modeled, could rotate fast enough to keep up with me then. Tonight I hope to combine "Put the Game Down" with "Late Night" and maybe even get a TCP game in while staying in favor. I've rented (at her request) a couple movies for the evening. First one is some girlie movie, but I did get "Tigerland" as the 2nd. I plan on responding to PBEM's as quickly as possible during the break between the movies and, if things go according to plans, will be sitting down for some quality TCP around midnight. That's the plan, anyway. What's that quote about plans not surviving 1st contact with the enemy? Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PVLLVS MAXIMVS Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 Once upon a time I lived with a woman, which is why Im so bitter and cynical now. But, since I was a big fat gamer nerd, and she wasnt, I had to do something. My solution worked almost too well. After several months of her complaining that I spend all my "quality" time with the computer, I went out and bought her one of herown, which went right next to mine. Then I bought her two of the three titles I like to call "womantraps". Tetris, Majhong, and the Sims. In my expereience, they work 75% of the time on women in my age range (20 - 25 yrs). After that, I practically had to beg HER to get offa the puter to "spend time" with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 Ah, we band of pathetic brothers. I feel your pain, each and all!! The best is a wife who goes to work early, and thus to bed early....... The putting TV/Movie time on the couch can earn those begrudged moments.... and as Sancho Panza(Ldr) (an escaped pooligan) said and I swear I have said this, I am processing the turns sort of works too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenfive2 Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 As I've said before, if they go to bed early, you had better use the headphones... Of course, it does cause quite a start when they appear next to you and you don't hear them coming because of the heaphones... :eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Age Santa Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 An easy solution!! DON'T HAVE A WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND =P with the wonderful advances in cloning I'm sure I can pass my genes on the best way there is..direct cloning! Who cares if it's illegal in the US try and stop all 700 of me Actually I tend to stay away from relationships as much as possible, most women are mega greedy and that doesn't fly well in Santa-Land :cool: [ 08-03-2001: Message edited by: New Age Santa ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopper Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 Excuses? I don't need excuses as long as I can still get away with slipping her a mickey of Contacts or Bendryl! Not only does it clear her nasal passages, but it does wonders for my gaming time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunnergoz Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 My Russian-born wife is happy when I'm playing CM as long as I tell her I'm "killing lots of Germans." Heaven forbid I ever get caught PLAYING their side... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Beman Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Uhm...I guess that dependents on the size of the target - is she small and handy, or more, ehm, voluminous??? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Is she a Stuart or a Jagdtiger? :eek: DJB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodyBucket Posted August 4, 2001 Share Posted August 4, 2001 "Honey, I'm teaching a class on battle simulation to my Marine Reserve unit. I get evaluated on how well it goes, so this has got to be good. I'm using CM for the class, and I have to try out all these scenarios to find the best one. You want me to do well, don't you? Thanks, baby, you're a real patriot!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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