MrSpkr Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Some tough-love from Madmatt down a few messages. Look for the one with the LOCK.I TOLD you it was the 24th. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 Originally posted by Persephone: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: He disrespects my versifying.You mean your persiflaging. Persephone</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 Originally posted by PondScum: To be more precise, Seanachai persiflages dalem's versifying. As does everyone able to detect the presence (or absence) of a rhyme.Don't be shy, O Former Squire of Mine. If you want me to dedicate some verse to you, just ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 Originally posted by dalem, mon petite Chevalier du Persiflage: Don't be shy, O Former Squire of Mine. If you want me to dedicate some verse to you, just ask.There once was a knight - and a fool - Who challenged his squire to a duel. With the cry "Persiflage!" His troops died in a charge, And he got whipped far worse than that mule. Thankyou. Thankyou very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 Now that BTS have entered the book business, it's time for them to start selling what their customers really want. Is that maps, TOEs, OOBs, FMs, EKGs and TLAs? No, it's Grog-Porn™. -- Leather Tiger Press (Amsterdam), the world's foremost publisher of Grog-Porn™, proudly announces the publication of its latest title, Red Hot Nights, by celebrated Grog-Porn™ writer, Paula Abdulski. Red Hot Nights, a thrilling tale of love, lust, penetration, shatter gaps, and lots and lots of hardware: Major Horatioski Nelsonovich, Political Commisar of the 14th Regiment of the 15th Guards Cavalry Division, 16th Guards Tank Army, looked down at the tattered remnants of his unit. He thought to himself, "It's a damn fine thing these pants are a little baggy in the upper leg. A centimeter to the right and I'd be singing soprano in the Red Army Chorus." He shifted his gaze toward the men under his control. "The Rodina expects every comrade to do his duty," he barked. "In this case, that duty is to run like vodka-soaked lemmings toward the Fascist positions." He punctuated his words with short strokes of his swagger stick against his palm. These felt rather nice, so he switched to his thigh and upped the tempo a bit. "Now, most of you will die in the process. This is as it should be, so anyone who doesn't die will be shot. And you won't need your guns, they are simply a manifestation of bourgeois false consciousness. Is that clear? Good. Now, does anyone have any questions?" A voice piped up, "Yes, Comrade Commisar, I do. Why should be waste our lives in a futile human wave attack when we could use a combined arms strategy, pinning the enemy down with our superior artillery, then outflanking him with our armor, while using our air force to dominate the skies?" "Oh, a back seat driver? What's your name, Comrade?" "I am Colonel Britneyev Spearovski, Commander of this Regiment." "Oh, and you think that gives you the right to question the People's wisdom, do you? "I do." "Well think again, Comrade." Nelsonovich drew his Sturgeonski 95 pistol (the one with the extra bayonet lug) and shot the bourgeois splittist through the head. Yet Nelsonovich felt strangely little satisfaction in the act, so he upped the tempo of the riding crop a bit more. "That's better," he thought, "still, what's the point. I'm really in the wrong job. I should be in the Navy. A heaving deck beneath my feet, the bracing Baltic wind in my face, and all those sailors.... © Paula Abdulski and Leather Tiger Press. All rights reserved. [ June 13, 2002, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted June 13, 2002 Share Posted June 13, 2002 Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: a thrilling tale of love, lust, penetration, shatter gaps, and lots and lots of hardware: Gimme more Hardware Lust. A story just can't have too much of that stuff in my opinion. Do you have any backissues of "88mm of Fatherland Loving" or a copy of "Honky-tonking with Pershing"? An avid fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by Geier: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: a thrilling tale of love, lust, penetration, shatter gaps, and lots and lots of hardware: Gimme more Hardware Lust. A story just can't have too much of that stuff in my opinion. Do you have any backissues of "88mm of Fatherland Loving" or a copy of "Honky-tonking with Pershing"? An avid fan</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Not to mention the seminal work Uva Tighthosen, Large Bore or Higher Velocity, Comparative Penetration Studies, Grog Universitat Press, 1943. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 As for myself, I tend to hold the classics in high regard. Lady Chatterly's Luger immediately comes to mind. On another note, after having failed in his attempt to destroy my assault boat, dalem's mincing horde of jackbooted thugs were so verklempt that they surrendered to my brawny, apple pie loving good guys to the tune of 75-25. I imagine a whole bunch of highly accurate VT arty might have also had something to do with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Hell's Bell's!!!! (now that's GOTTA be better than <SMALL>JESUS CHRIST</SMALL> huh Berli? I've been KIDNAPPED by my 5 year old grand-daughter Sophie for the next 2 days. So NO TURNS POSSIBLE until then, chasps, since I am now bound by the following unbreakable rules: (h) POP has GOT to play 173 games of UNO per day. (e) POP has GOT to play 41 games of MONOPOLY per day where SHE gets to be banker ALL THE TIME and can buy properties for NIX while POP'S cost ZILLIONS! (l) POP MUST tell a minimum of 123,769 kids jokes per hour (each one has to be the same as the last one) (p) POP MUST take her to the playground every 3 minutes (!) POP MUST lose EVERY game we play (!) POP MUST sit still and watch 1,321.6 kids movies by the end of her stay. Oh, and did I mention she calls me "POP"?? Apart from these quibbles, she's a barrel of larfs!! Sigh............. Till then then. AJ ------------------------ <SMALL>"Hell hath no fury like a rugrat scorned....." Some older and wiser old codger<SMALL> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: (!) POP MUST lose EVERY game we play No worries there, then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: I've been KIDNAPPED by my 5 year old grand-daughter Sophie for the next 2 days. AJ ------------------------ I really feel bad for you Oddly Jeff. But if she's a kind and thoughtful person, she'll speak s-l-o-w-l-y and use small words so's you can keep up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: So don't talk to ME about MY duty Berli I know what my duty is and perform it without prejudice or favor.Is CMPlayer (Damn! That hurts) dead? Did Marlow come back to claim the him as Squire after you had already snuffed him out? Nope. That's a big, fat F for you</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: I've been KIDNAPPED by my 5 year old grand-daughterLike we're going to pay the ransom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: (!) POP MUST lose EVERY game we play See! All that Cesspool training hasn't gone for naught! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Berli (and I know I'm going to regret this) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?What?! When I handed CMPlayer over to you, what did you do? Did you make like Pilate and wash your hands and crucify him? No! Let's see, IIRC, you came up with some outerboardesque contest between him and The Noble Lizard. All of which allowed Marlow time to sober up and say: Yeah, I'm responsible for makin' that pillock a knight, and damned proud I am of my total stupidityNow, tell me, what the Hell good is a Justicar that won't crucify when swift justice is obviously called for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harv Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 To all that think June 22 is an important date in the past I say BAAA!! It's a far far more important date in the future, and NOT because of CM:BB either.... Jealous Mace? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: I've been KIDNAPPED by my 5 year old grand-daughter Sophie Oh sure, like the jury's gonna believe that. People like you disgust me, you are from Utah aren't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Jealous, hell. Mace has it all set up that the Victorian government is going to pay his way over to be a judge at the damn show. The casting couch is likely to get a serious workout next week I can assure you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Send that FECkIN' turn, Dalem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Berli (and I know I'm going to regret this) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?What?! When I handed CMPlayer over to you, what did you do? Did you make like Pilate and wash your hands and crucify him? No! Let's see, IIRC, you came up with some outerboardesque contest between him and The Noble Lizard. All of which allowed Marlow time to sober up and say: Yeah, I'm responsible for makin' that pillock a knight, and damned proud I am of my total stupidityNow, tell me, what the Hell good is a Justicar that won't crucify when swift justice is obviously called for?</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 And now, in honor of my recent defeat of Leeo's rampaging hordes, may I present to you . . . The Little Old Volkssturm Who Could Huff puff!! Wheeze wheeze! Gasp gasp! Along came the Durfendorfer twins, a pair of old men who tried to protect their village. The twins were a funny pair who always dressed alike. The only way you could tell them apart was by their guns -- Johann prefered an MP-44, while Sebastian always used an MP-40. On this day, the twins were very frightened, for they had learned that American troops commanded by the incompetent yet dangerous Leeo were headed towards their village. The twins did not know how they would stop the American gangsters from destroying their village! Soon, a Fallschirmjager passed by. "Please, Mr. Fallschirmjager! Won't you please help us to save our village?" But the Fallschirmjager would not stop. He had more important things to do than save the village. A little later, an SS Trooper came marching down the road. "Please Mr. SS Trooper, won't you please help us to save our village?" But the SS Trooper shoved them out of the way, and marched off down the road. The twins soon heard a rumble off in the distance. A Tiger Royal rumbled towards them! "Oh please Mr. King Tiger, won't you please help us to save our village?" But the Tiger Royal just kept rumbling down the road. "Oh my!" cried the twins. "Won't anyone help us to save our village?" Just then, Johann cried out, "Look! A little old Volkssturm is coming!" The little old Volkssturm was a cranky old man, with a wrinkledy face and the meanest scowl you ever saw. "Please, little old Volkssturm!" cried the twins. "Won't you help us to save our village?" The little old Volkssturm drew his gun and said, "Oh my! I'm very old and slow! And I've never fought in a battle before. But I will try!." to be continued . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: So don't talk to ME about MY duty Berli I know what my duty is and perform it without prejudice or favor. You, on the other hand, are a Big Poo Poo Head as all know. Joe[/QB]Joe ol' buddy, I wouldn't wanna be you if Persephone gets a-hold of this one. The Devil hisself may come a-callin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 The little old Volkssturm gathered his friends and told them of the danger. "I know you've never fought before," he said. "But I've never fought before either." "Now, follow me and we will defend the village. I think I can, I think I can," he said. Soon, the little old Volkssturm had taken charge of the village defenses. He told the men what to do. He had them set up barbed wire . . . and told the men to find good hiding places. All the while he was directing the defenses, he said to himself, "I think I can. I think I can!" to be continued . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 14, 2002 Share Posted June 14, 2002 Soon, he pointed at the old hill outside of town. "Look!" he cried. "The Americans are coming! I think I can. I think I can." Soon, the Americans began shelling the town. The shells made great booming sounds and cratered the little village. One even destroyed the Durfendorfer's house, killing one of the brothers. But the little old Volkssturm stood his ground despite the explosions going off all around him. "I think I can. I think I can," he thought. Soon, the Volkssturm began to turn back the American advance. They blew up the American halftracks and killed the American troops. Eventually, the enemy soldiers began to surrender. The little old Volkssturm had won! "I knew I could! I knew I could!" he said. Suddenly, a look of pain shot across the little old Volkssturm's face! "Heart attack! Heart attack!" And the little old Volkssturm fell down and died. The End Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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