I fell out of the Peng Tree and hit every Challenge on the way down

[Goanna]

the Bard:

Oh, and I can walk again.

Not for long, pal. As soon as I get that new setup from Moriarty, I plan to pull the other leg off and immediately beat you with the bloody stump and in record time, mind you, prior to the release of CMBB.

{Edited to note that this is in fact the suckiest thread title in recorded history. typing while blonde is definitely a serious impediment}

[ June 11, 2002, 01:23 AM: Message edited by: Goanna ]

[Noba]

What a very strange double post...

Sort of like the strange personality posting it. No! It is like the strange personality posting it. As for walking, I suppose you can hit the load ang go buttons, too. Send a turn. My Stormentruppen are waiting to inflickt more pain on your kitchen troops.

{The Hippie is commenting about my gun in a meeting engagement...So ? The transport got called to get the troops choklit bars...! }

Noba.

[dalem]

Ook! Ook!

Oops! I went and did it again.

MrSpkr: Would be continuing to writhe in the crushing grip of my superior play, but he won't send turns. I can respect that.

Boo: Is writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play.

Pondscum: Is writhing in the -- oh, who am I kidding. My former squire hath rolled over me like some sort of Old Testament plague. You know, the plague of eight hundred and seventy two 4.2" mortar spotters. It's in there somewhere. Book of Explodicus I think. Look it up.

Panzer Leader: Is writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play. I'm teaching him a thing or two about Green Volksturm, I am. I'm teaching him that they suck and that I must have been out of my frikkin' mind to buy them in the first place...

Leeo: Is writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play. In line with that we are blasting the living bejeezus out of each other and having a grand time of it. Who knows who's winning. Who cares?

Noba: Is also writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play, now minus one Sherman. We are also performing the equivalent of a superhero battle over the city of CMopolis, throwing city buses at each other, ramming steel girders and I beams and such clean through each other's midsections, trading one liners in peppy speech balloons, all to the tune of BIFF! SOCKO!!! And my personal favorite,

KRA - KA - THOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Berli: Was writhing in the crushing grip of my superior play, but then he surrendered after most of his troopie-woopies took little squad-sized naps in front of my fighting positions.

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by Goanna:

{Edited to note that this is in fact the suckiest thread title in recorded history. typing while blonde is definitely a serious impediment}

Now that is just too much. Sucky thread title I can handle (though I suspect you're just too estupido to understand it) but calling me blonde just boils my blood. For the SECOND time too.

I'm too busy at the moment to send you a setup, but rest assured I will nurse my grudge. You'd best start casting nervous glances towards your in-box you Aussie nong. When you least expect it, expect expectorant.

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by Marlow:

Arise Sir CMplayer

My most humble thanks, good Sir. With that, the navel-string is severed. One little question, umm, am I in your will?

[Berlichtingen]

Ok, if Marlow is CMPlayer's sire, who is his Grand Sire?

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

somebody challenge me now

What is 2+2?

Persephone</font>

[The_Capt]

So there I was, sobering up from my last week long booze induced black-out, when I heard what can only be describes as ducks farting.

At first I though it may be the burned out, blackened muscle which the rest of you call a heart..mine is Mr Clock..cause he is a ticking.

But no, the sound was far to clear to be my ruined arteries.

Then I was gripped with panic, perhaps my liver was finally boiling in it's own juices. I have been warned by no less than 20 medical professionals that it was going to happened but I scoffed.

Then to my relief I looked in the mirror and noticed that though covered in my own vomit, I was not yellow yet.

Then I turned my bleary eyes to my computer..yes the sound seemed to come out of it's grubby CPU. This was odd as I have no speakers.

It must be that burping internal speaker.

So I went to the BTS forum and the noise got louder. I checked the Latest mod threads and We Love Fionn Fan threads (I really hope that lad is at least getting tail out of this). Oh look another newibie wanting to know when CMBB is coming out and someone just figured out that MGs can't run.

So out of boredom I put the .38 in my mouth, last bullet I own. I can taste the metal and gun oil, this is gonna really take the stress off....

But wait! I then see the Peng Thread. The duck flatulance seems to be loudest out of there.

So I begin to scan..suddenly I realize that it isn't me that need relief it is this thread.

So like The King "Ah this show ain't no good"..BLAM. Right thru the monitor, straight thru CM players opening intro.

Gawd it felt so good.

So I took a shower got cleaned up and went to court but that is another story.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by The_Capt:

So there I was, sobering up from my last week long booze induced black-out, when I heard what can only be describes as ducks farting.

At first I though it may be the burned out, blackened muscle which the rest of you call a heart..mine is Mr Clock..cause he is a ticking.

But no, the sound was far to clear to be my ruined arteries.

Then I was gripped with panic, perhaps my liver was finally boiling in it's own juices. I have been warned by no less than 20 medical professionals that it was going to happened but I scoffed.

Then to my relief I looked in the mirror and noticed that though covered in my own vomit, I was not yellow yet.

Then I turned my bleary eyes to my computer..yes the sound seemed to come out of it's grubby CPU. This was odd as I have no speakers.

It must be that burping internal speaker.

So I went to the BTS forum and the noise got louder. I checked the Latest mod threads and We Love Fionn Fan threads (I really hope that lad is at least getting tail out of this). Oh look another newibie wanting to know when CMBB is coming out and someone just figured out that MGs can't run.

So out of boredom I put the .38 in my mouth, last bullet I own. I can taste the metal and gun oil, this is gonna really take the stress off....

But wait! I then see the Peng Thread. The duck flatulance seems to be loudest out of there.

So I begin to scan..suddenly I realize that it isn't me that need relief it is this thread.

So like The King "Ah this show ain't no good"..BLAM. Right thru the monitor, straight thru CM players opening intro.

Gawd it felt so good.

So I took a shower got cleaned up and went to court but that is another story.

Did somebody have a bad day or somefink?

Persephone

[Berlichtingen]

Sounded like a good day to me

[Boo Radley]

OK children, let me tell you how things are going around here:

CMPlayer - After looking over the last several moves of our game, I've traced the total destruction of my troops to one mistake on my part. Agreeing to play a game with him. I think we're on move 9 and the score is something like 91 to 9. I believe I actually saw one of my Hamstertruppen flip me off when I gave an order last move.

dalem - After taking all of his armor and roughly a third of his men to attack the lone assault boat I had put on my right flank, his surviving men and one StuG have swung around and are threatening my backside. If I don't think fast, it could be Catholic school all over again.

Aussie Jeff - In a scenario which he designed, I've battled him almost to a standstill with my "Ring of Fire™". Although if he gets any more tanks, it may prove to be like a dose of Preparation H, relieving the burning pain of the aforementioned "Ring of Fire™".

OGSF - On vacation, but he's beating the crap out of me anyway.

Noba - Just underway. I have yet to Die-Alot™

Yeknod #1 - Oh the humanity! Oh the inanity! I'm taking the stick to the donkey.

Yeknod #2 - In this wet fart of a game devised by the comedy team of Berli & Goanna , on turn 16 of a 20 turn game, our forces have finally met and I have no idea what's going on. A platoon of his guys attack and then run away. A whole bunch of his vehicles and armor drive right past the bulk of my forces without even firing a shot. No capice.

R_Leete & Sock Monkey - I haven't gotten moves from you two in a couple of weeks. Last call before I dump the files.

[rune]

Deep within the pool of Cess, a trapdoor opens, and a solitary figure carrying the mythical Scroll of NDA once again appears...

"Berli you may blame me for Marlow's mistake. It was I, who long ago took on the first of lawyers and allowed them to Squire and Knight. Being a minor evil, it seemed like the thing to do at the time. After all, what better way to annoy the members of the pool?"

The lone figure turns back to the trapdoor, and begins to disappear. Right before the trapdoor shuts, a whisper is heard...

"Excellent, I broke it again! That will make them all suffer longer..."

Rune

[Harv]

To continue...it rained.

Not much, but it rained. Now that it is slightly more moist than absolutely fecking dry (kinda like Berli's humor) I can make a feeble attempt at posting again.

natch} Lurker, cheating bastage that he is has avoided losing to me TWICE now! Swine. The jig is up though, as he has found some sort of historical scenario thingy from a site called My Kettle or sumfink and this shall be my doom. MY doom, do ya hear me? Do ya? Muahahahaha.

Anyways...Slimon has crushed me in a most satisfying manner using gamey troops and tactics, (wO0T!! I suck! WhooHoo!! Can I get on the unladder now?) and I shall now surrender my flock to his idiot knight/day Mace willingly. NOT. The new improved game I have sent to him should put a lock on me being a suckier player than Lorak even.

Retching of Mace, do you realize that we are playing a meeting engagement? I've been sitting on these flags forever now, and I still haven't seen you. Perhaps if you moved the little mousy thingy around and clicked on the map a few times something would happen.

And firstly, Fionn is almost ready to surrender to me already! Crap, and we haven't even picked a map yet. How was I supposed to know that asking a few (dozen) questions was going to make him start drooling and twitching like that? Oh well, that still makes him more functional than The_Boring.

Stay tuned for more excitement (excrement?) from Saskatchewan in the far future...

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by dalem:

Oops! I went and did it again.

MrSpkr: Would be continuing to writhe in the crushing grip of my superior play, but he won't send turns. I can respect that.

Dear Ms. Spears:

While I was pleased to receive your recent correspondence, I am saddened to see that you have not yet mastered a few basic concepts. First, if you would just get to a bathroom as soon as you begin to feel the urge, you would no longer "do it again", as you so delicately put it. If you are able to master that concept, perhaps you will be allowed to discontinue the use of the padded undergarments.

Additionally, please tell your Roadie (yes, the one with the dang ugly earless mutt) that indeed it is HIS responsibility to send the next turn in our match up. Remind him that the system works like this: He sends a turn, then I send a turn; he sends a turn, then I kick his butt and send a turn; etc., etc., until his butt has gone to wherever his dog's ears have relocated.

Wait, no, that's probably too much for that tiny bundle of nerves you call a brain, isn't it Ms. Spears? Please, just tell your idiot Roadie (whoever said that opposites attract OBVIOUSLY had never seen you two) that it is HIS turn.

Sincerely,

Steve, Esq.

P.S. Don't forget: inhale, exhale, repeat.

Good girl.

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Sounded like a good day to me

Good day, poor aim, bad ending.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by rune:

"Berli you may blame me for Marlow's mistake. It was I, who long ago took on the first of lawyers and allowed them to Squire and Knight. Being a minor evil, it seemed like the thing to do at the time. After all, what better way to annoy the members of the pool?"

So, now we know.

The House of Rune suffers the same problems as the old Royal houses of Europe. Wonder if The_Capt has problems when he bleeds...

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by The_Capt:

So like The King "Ah this show ain't no good"..BLAM. Right thru the monitor, straight thru CM players opening intro.

Now, see? If you'd had that particular brainstorm a month ago, all of us would have been saved a very large amount of grief.

[dalem]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

...words...

I have resent the last turn since you obviously deleted the last one with a careless swipe of your cloven hooves, you gibbering mutant.

On a more pleasurable note, it's a good day when you wake up to 1,000 rds of .40 S&W ammo delivered to your door. "Thursday is range day at Carvel."

[Hakko Ichiu]

Originally posted by dalem:

On a more pleasurable note, it's a good day when you wake up to 1,000 rds of .40 S&W ammo delivered to your door. "Thursday is range day at Carvel."

What, and none of it penetrated said door and collided with your vital bit(s), thereby ending your miserable excuse for an existence? Next time tell them to use AP until they get a clear sightline on you.

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

On a more pleasurable note, it's a good day when you wake up to 1,000 rds of .40 S&W ammo delivered to your door. "Thursday is range day at Carvel."

What, and none of it penetrated said door and collided with your vital bit(s), thereby ending your miserable excuse for an existence? Next time tell them to use AP until they get a clear sightline on you.</font>

[Lorak]

Damn, what a sorry Tuesday.

Granted Monday wasn't all that good. But it at least have free scotch and a lot of it last night.

Actualy.. I guess Monday was pretty good.

Today I'm back home, pretty hung over, and left with nothing better to do than read this tripe.

So before it makes me physically sick, I give you a small gamey update.

Moriarty: We are still playing a good forsaken map made by Berli. It sucks, I suck, he sucks. I am waiting for Moriarty to escape from the basement again and send me a turn.

Mace: This gamey bastard has resorted to using tactics!! Yes, you heard me correctly tactics. How disgusting that a knight of the pool would stoop to such lows just to garner a victory.

He is taking as much pleasure rolling my flank, as he does wino's at the park during his lunch hour. Bastage!

Seanachai: umm, I really have no idea what is going on. Not that this is any diffrent from any other game I play. But This time I feel at one with my hopelessness. If I can just shoot a couple more of his men before my hamsters hope on the wheel out of town, I'll consider it a victory.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must head to the store to replinish my Guinness.

Then in an hour,

I'll be as happy, and full as, a tick on a 12 day suck.

Lorak the loathed

[dalem]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

I must switch loads soon I guess. Perhaps a shape charge would have been a better idea. Besides, loading all those damn Glock magazines make my thumbs hurt.

Gotta remember to take the little bullety things out of the boxes and load them into the magazines next time.

[Panzer Leader]

Originally posted by Slapdragon:

I must switch loads soon...[/QB]

You're a cop and a laundress??

[dalem]

Ahem.

(to the tune of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?")

How do you solve a problem like Seanachai?

... Actually I don't know any of the words. But if I did, I bet it would be funny, huh?

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by dalem:

(to the tune of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?")

How do you solve a problem like Seanachai?

... Actually I don't know any of the words. But if I did, I bet it would be funny, huh?

Hey <font size="-1">Jesus</font>, shut the HELL up!

Thank you for your attention on this matter