Moriarty Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: ... we have allegations of prospective cheating levelled against both participants.<hr></blockquote> A pox on prospective cheating ... get down to the real thing, lads. If a Lawyer and a Just-an-Edsel natter on in a forest when no 'Poolers are around, do they make a sound? Does anyone care? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 A ray of light, of an unnatural, deitious quality. The denizens of the Peng Thread, fearing light almost as much as soap scurry away into the showy corners of the pool area, mewling. A magnificent figure appears. It is HE, the most perfect Japanese-looking, in London-living God that the world has ever laid eyes on. A shudder of fear runs down the maimed and weak spines of the denizens, as they crouch in the mud. Their eyes dare not behold HIM. A quick glance shows that he has a couple of stone-tablets, a soft, warm and mellow glow that reminds them of the nice places they once walked, but now hurts their eyes badly, emanating from them. HE unceremonously drops them on Joe's hiding place. A hideous squeal is cut short by an ugly squishing noise, of the sort that you get when you drive your mountain bike over a big ugly one-legged toad. HE smiles, a sight that is terror to the denizens. Then HE speaks. A soft, beautiful voice carries into the last corner of the universe, and reverberates in the empty heads of the denizens. They try to crawl deeper into the mud. This is what HE has to say. 'Listen up you ugly scum-sucking ****es. Ethan has escaped your foul lands to better himself in the city of light, well a place close to it anyway. To celebrate this fact, not only will we go for drinks Saturday night, but we will also go to feast, on the fruits of the earth, and maybe also the little lambs, but almost certainly the once-happy Mr. Pig (a close relative of you lot, apart from their intelligence), and maybe a squid or two. Because it is written in the scriptures (Book of Andreas XXXVI, Chapter 99 Verse 2186) "When then the day cometh that Ethan should be in London, there shall be much rejoicing, and a procession will be held to the only Hunan restaurant in town, and Mr. Peng (ignore the heathen Italian 'food' will feast HIM and Ethan, at the hour that HE deigns the righteous one for taking his luncheon." Amen. So, tomorrow is the day when we shall put this prophecy into TRUTH, by making it happen. Disbelievers will be dealt with according to the usual custom, one cross per person only. Now, what the scripture does not say, but what will happen nevertheless is that we will check on whether Mr.Peng the Hunan master of Godly cuisine deserves his name. Once we have done so, we will find out whether our Mr.Peng is related to him, because if he is not, he can only be Mr. Peng the Trader in live cat meat. For Saturday the scripture tells us the following (Book of Andreas XXXVII, Chapter 13 Verse 195) "After feasting on the Chilies brought forth by the fiery earth of Hunan, there shall be much wailing, and a ring of fire shall appear over the toilet bowl. Pints of hop juice will cure the fire raging in the belly of HIM and Ethan, and there shall be more rejoicing." That is all for now. Continue to worship me, and live in the filth you love everafter. Goodbye.' HE turns and slowly hovers towards the bright light at the end of the tunnel. The denizens crawl deeper into the mud. Will HE smite them on his way out? Fear reigns over them like a brutal emperor, fiddling on their nerves, while the adrenalin burns through their veins. But HE only turns, and almost impossible to hear he says: Hans, you do no good little filthy liar.' before he proceeds to dismember him. The light fades. Darkness returns. Foul smell wafts through the Peng Thread again now that HE has left. Berli takes over. The denizens crawl from out of the friendly shadows to again start their futile little lives, if that is what you want to call it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: Yeknod, thou hast transgressed. To harass a Lady of the Pool is to die unnoticed, and sink into your own filth (which is a lower grade filth than we would ever allow here). I see that you have attempted to rise, amended your post, and seek now the proper path of taunting, by which redemption may be achieved. Go the whole way home, lad, and apologize to the Lady. Normally, we're not much on apologies here in the Peng Challenge Thread, but there are certain transgressions for which no other solution will suffice.<hr></blockquote> Yawnoflashly Yes, I have the scars to bear from Patch's knifework. I'm a trembling wreck and wouldn't want to repeat the experience. Persephone, I'm very sorry to have sullied your presence with the "offending thing"... I don't know what came over me and trying to be clever is really no excuse for such base, low and depraved behaviour. Seriously, I was OTT with my posts and didn't really think about what I was writing. Seanachai, did I miss another fair maiden? Yeknod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: I am all caught up on turns. If you don't have one, it's because you owe me. <hr></blockquote> Scurrellous curr! Checkist thy in-boxeth oh ye of the withered cranium. By mine owne hand I didst verily send thy turn some 4 moons gone. Ceasest thy scampering and gambering amidst the may and tend to thy task. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknongathon: Seanachai, did I miss another fair maiden? <hr></blockquote> Yaknong, yes you did. You forgot YK2. I hope your wound is healing properly. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted January 3, 2002 Author Share Posted January 3, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Uttered by MrSpkr: ya' nong.<hr></blockquote> I have detected recently a take-up of the word nong by our Northern-hemisphere members. It's nice to think that after years of being bombarded with American TV shows and culture down here...it was time for a bit of Aussie payback (go get em, Steve Irwin)! Further, one of my colleagues recently pointed out in an email no less how Australia was a third-world country. What was surprising was that he has the mental ability to conceptualise beyond 'two' or 'couple'. Way to go...Joe!! We are all so proud of you. Mace [yeh, I edited!] [ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: Mace ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: {snipped for irrelevance seeing as how it didn't deal with me} Further, one of my colleagues recently pointed out in an email no less how Australia was a third-world country. What was surprising was that he has the mental ability to conceptualise beyond 'two' or 'couple'. Way to go...Joe!! We are all so proud of you. Mace<hr></blockquote> Now, now Mace I did not say that Australia is a third world country. I quote the EXACT email I sent: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Now let's be logical about this shall we? Is it more likely that MY ISP (being a product of AMERICAN technology which, as we both know, leads the world) would have screwed up or is it (and be honest now) more likely that YOUR ISP (being Australian and hardly ten years removed from the introduction of transistors for God's sake) would have screwed up? Nonetheless, I have no objection to resolving the problems of third world countries and therefore I have re-sent the turn. What a wonderful guy is JOE!<hr></blockquote> I'd like to call your attention to the fact that I never ONCE said that Australia is a third world country. It is likely the paranoid and insecure nature of your mind (no doubt influenced by all the smoke down there, no Bauhaus not down THERE, down There, as in the fires in Australia ... no I don't know the two things you can't stand about condoms, is this at all relevant? ... the, the sound of screaming women and the smell of burning rubber ... right, thanks Bauhaus) You should also note the last line, I think that's particularly important. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 I have never used the word 'nong' in real life. It is a tad camp (not that theres anything wrong with that). I have also never worn a wide brimmed hat adorned with corks on strings or worn a safari suit and sandals with socks. You people should not beleive everything you read about Australia. (except all the good stuff) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: I can die now.<hr></blockquote> Saints be praised Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Translation services provided by Der Kessel. Der Kessel: when you want to play CM in the worst way.<hr></blockquote> I assume you mean Ker Dessel... bloody pillock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 Dear Yeknodathon, You are a wanker. The surrender file you requested has been sent. Of course it is the surrender file that Stuka earned, which is the only type of surrender a git like you wiould ever see from me. Love, Elvis P.S. Sorry for the delay in sending back the setup Mr. Stuka. Real world issues have slowed me down (my wife and I just got the 14 DVD set of every Monty Python episode ever made and a new mattress so there hasn't been much computer time at home). I hope to have it out to you when I get home from work tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 I have found the "discourse" most amusing of late as I have caught up on MBT since returning to Australia. Nice to see some of the regulars making a return appearance and otherwise simpleton gits such as Stuka even rising to the occassion. Keep up the good work and if I am owing to anyone turns (I think I am not), please send along a polite reminder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: I have also never worn a wide brimmed hat adorned with corks on strings or worn a safari suit and sandals with socks. You people should not beleive everything you read about Australia. (except all the good stuff)<hr></blockquote> I thought that was the good stuff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 Damn you Lars, you beat me to it. [ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: Speedy ]</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: I assume you mean Ker Dessel... bloody pillock<hr></blockquote> Hey, slander is the sincerest form of flattery -- or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr: I will keep this simple [ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]<hr></blockquote> An' at's noo surpreeze noo as at? First, ye subcraceous slitherationous fatty deposit - Ah'm noo a bleedin' Yank. Pillock. Festerin' git. Stankin' wafty bit o' wildebeest gas. Skankin' dribblet o' pit juice. Aye, yoo Jimmy! Eleventy One, ye lobotomized hamster an' sniffer o' mutton, wi' all ye plaintive sycophantin' o'er Joe Ah'd play ye but mah bags full Shaw, Ah cudnae buy any stankin' 'splody thangs cud Ah, unlaiss ye saint mah the feckin' map? At's sponge-eyed giblets lak yoo tha' gi' tha damp thangs stuck ain tha tracked soles o' Hiram's gym shoes hope fer advancemaint. Yoo need ye spotty arse kicked aboot some poxy map, laddie. Ne'er meend tha winky wobble rules o' Joe Ah'd play ye but Ah've mislaid mah lacey hanky Shaw - Ah'll happily smack tha snot oot o' yer gimpy sodjers ain a QB, 1200 points, attack or defend. No snow, no night. Ah'm lookin' tae split ye pixel guts ontae tha groond mon, noo play touchy feely ain tha dark! Och, an' tha raist o' ye.... Bastaarrrds! Tha wee lassies excaipted o' course. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna: I am owing to anyone turns (I think I am not), please send along a polite reminder.<hr></blockquote> *Picks up the 'Brick'* SMACK! Polite enough for ya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Saints be praised<hr></blockquote> Thank you very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis: Dear Yeknodathon, P.S. Sorry for the delay in sending back the setup Mr. Stuka. Real world issues have slowed me down (my wife and I just got the 14 DVD set of every Monty Python episode ever made and a new mattress so there hasn't been much computer time at home)<hr></blockquote> So, you've been soiling the new mattress while watching the 14 Monty Python DVD's? Gives new meaning to the term, wanker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 Formal message tae Joe Play ye? *brrrlllltt!* Oh dear, Ive got to change! Shaw..... Yer idiot boy MrSpkr hae saint mae a verrry nice email aboot a wee map Ah aim supposed tae buy units fer......but hae didnae attach tha map.... Train tha lice pickin' goat boy yersailf di ye? Monkey see, monkey do, eh Jimmy? SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by bauhaus: So, you've been soiling the new mattress while watching the 14 Monty Python DVD's? Gives new meaning to the term, wanker.<hr></blockquote> SIT DOWN, BAUHAUS, YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka: Scurrellous curr! Checkist thy in-boxeth oh ye of the withered cranium. By mine owne hand I didst verily send thy turn some 4 moons gone. Ceasest thy scampering and gambering amidst the may and tend to thy task.<hr></blockquote> The last turn I got from you was #7, and sent out turn 8 on 12/30. I just resent turn 8. If you've already played it, resend turn 9. If not, it's on it's way. Elvis, my apologies as we, by means of math, logic, and organizational skills, attempt to achieve what you do by instinct and shameless fumbling. One day, we may all devolve, and you won't be subjected to this sort of discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknodathon: Persephone, I'm very sorry to have sullied your presence with the "offending thing"... I don't know what came over me and trying to be clever is really no excuse for such base, low and depraved behaviour. Seriously, I was OTT with my posts and didn't really think about what I was writing. Seanachai, did I miss another fair maiden? Yeknod<hr></blockquote> Yes, as Persephone has pointed out, the Fair Emma, or Yk2. But, Yeknod, you have amended your ways. You stand, if not righteous in the sight of the Olde Ones, then no longer under a cloud of disdain and lowering doom. A firm but loving demeanour shall set the child on to the way that it should go. But with you lot, it works a hell of a lot better to beat you with iron rods, concuss you with the Brick, and curse you until you shape up and pull your head out. It is also much more amusing and emotionally satisfying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF: Formal message tae Joe Play ye? *brrrlllltt!* Oh dear, Ive got to change! Shaw..... Yer idiot boy MrSpkr hae saint mae a verrry nice email aboot a wee map Ah aim supposed tae buy units fer......but hae didnae attach tha map.... Train tha lice pickin' goat boy yersailf di ye? Monkey see, monkey do, eh Jimmy? SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy<hr></blockquote>Just a quick check to be sure we're on the same page there OGSF. You DO realize, I trust, that when he said he would "attach" a map he wasn't referring to an actual PAPER MAP that would somehow squeeze through the holes in your monitor? Just checking as I am familiar with your computer literacy. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 I have two points of analysis: (One of Them) I saw LOTR again tonight ... GAWD that's a great movie. (The Other of Them) And while I'm on the subject of great, are there any Poolers who play IL-2 online? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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