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2002: A Peng Challenge Oddity


Mace

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Uh, you wanna try that again pal? The thought of a whole freaking LAKE of Andreas ... {shudder}

AND it gives you a chance to edit TWICE!

Joe

{unedited because I just didn't have time, mea culpa}<hr></blockquote>

Boy that's funny.

[Edited to ensure that no Japanese-looking-Germans-living-in-London were harmed in the creation of this post.]

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

[QB]

Sir Stuka, did you, Sir, not take it upon yourself to recommend to me this Andreas piece of Teutonic Torture named "To the Last Man"? [QB]

<hr></blockquote>

No

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

[QB]Did you not also mention in your private email that YOU HAD ALREADY PLAYED IT?

Does this not mean that you beat poor Elvis UNFAIRLY, having played the game before?[QB]

<hr></blockquote>

No, I have never e-mailed you privately and I have never played 'To the last man' before.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

[QB]May I also mention that I, foolishly taking your advice, went through a painful mid-summer playing this awful madness with poor David Aitken, who then suddenly disappeared without trace before the game's ultimate conclusion.[QB]

<hr></blockquote>

David who?

May I take this opportunity to suggest that you hit your desk with your gavel and not your own head.

I fear you may have fallen into the age old trap of mistaken identity.

The artist Von Shrad, (formally known as 'Stuka') may be who you are directing your feeble waffle at.

I am now expecting a full apology, in triplicate, on my desk in the morning.

(With perhaps a nice box of chocolates as some small measure of the heartfelt sorrow you feel at casting dispersions upon my good name.)

[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: Stuka ]</p>

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I am feeling magnanemous today Frau Lawyer and am therefore prepared to hand you your own ass in a manner of your choosing.

Try not to have played the AI several times over and peeked at both sides set ups if you would be so kind. I do trust you.

Trust a lawyer? What am I saying?

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

I am feeling magnanemous today Frau Lawyer and am therefore prepared to hand you your own ass in a manner of your choosing.

Try not to have played the AI several times over and peeked at both sides set ups if you would be so kind. I do trust you.

Trust a lawyer? What am I saying?<hr></blockquote>Here we have a perfect example of why I continue to champion the cause of proper challenges.

Not only do we have the disgusting spectacle of, well, Stuka playing Lawyer, tough to pick someone to root for on that one eh gang, but we have allegations of prospective cheating levelled against both participants.

Now in Stuka's case he is a proven and self admitted Non-Double Blind Playing Gamey Bastiche ... okay the last two words I added but they're true too. In the case of Lawyer we have, HELLO, a LAWYER and not just any LAWYER but, by his own admission, THE LAWYER. Frankly the odds of someone cheating are approaching unity if you know what I mean.

If they had set this challenge up like hon ... sorry, was about to say honorable when I REMEMBERED who we were talking about ... reasonable people they'd have had seconds who could have ensured there was no hanky-panky.

Joe

{edited in accordance with CessPool regulation C34.78^2 prohibiting clean first posts least the poster be confused with (as opposed to BY) Andreas}

[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

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I have consulted Satan to deal appropriately with Stuka, Joe Blow and even the bedlice-ridden Leeo, who is busy wrapping himself in old newspapers to withstand the winter winds. Unfortunately, he let the dog use them for "business matters" first, since the dog is a fair sight cleaner than Leeo. A foul wind blows in Oregon...

What a crappy way to start 2002...

But the Law Never Rests...

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Legal Notice:

I am no longer a "wanker" as I have just sent back the setup Elvis sent me two months ago. And I didn't play it first elsewhere like some people we know.

All things come to those who wait.

I believe MrSpkr is still waiting... Might it be time to change that "National Champions" sig line, Vowel Seeker?

-----------------

BTW, in an unrelated matter, I have asked that BTS remove Hiram from the list of approved forum participants since he is clearly not a "person" as that term is used in legal or socially acceptable circles. But he has proven beyond reasonable doubt that he belongs in NJ for eternity. A fitting punishment for being himself.

Laws are laws, and the Justicar must be served his daily ration of petty rule mongering. So be it.

[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

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I have just decided, against my better judgement, that, rather than reading the entire thread this time that I would just pop in this time to say a big warm hello and a jolly sod off to all. As its the anniversary of my Podding Flarn and all I thought that in this year of the freadgnat that I would just give it a rest and let all the little podlings have a go at the humour and such.

Ta. Back in a couple of flerdlings.

Peng

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Dearest Hiram,

We have a game in progress. If you wish to surrender that and send me a setup I will accept that.

Love and kisses,

Elvis

P.S. Just because you sent the file back doesn't mean you are not a wanker....hell...you're a guy..of course you're a wanker.

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I have been hearing news reports that Elvis has been spotted flying around over New South Wales. Are these reports true? If they are is there a connection with all the arson attacks over that way?

[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: Speedy ]</p>

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We all have our favourites, don't we: Lee Marvin, Telly Savalas, James Coburn or John Wayne (who was a nazi by the way). But for my hard-earned adolescent dollar, there was nobody I wanted to see machine gun a bunch of filthy nazi's than Clint Eastwood. Technically, I'd most like to have seen Steve McQueen, but "The Great Escape" was less of a war movie and more of a prison movie without the scantily clad chicks. But I digress. With this in mind (and waaaaay too much idle time on my hands durning Ramadan, I got to thinking. Then, as often occurs unless I was thinking about getting loaded and listening to the stereo all day, action ensued. What I was wondering about on this particular day was whether or not I could get the CM engine to generate the Schloß Adler and then, having done that in a passable manner, whether I could generate a scenario based one the film. So, without further explanation, I give you {Peng goes} "Where Eagles Dare". You've seen the film, now play the scenario!!!!

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll spill your drink on a friend and spend the rest of the game in one of those painfully awkward silences.

You're outnumbered, outgunned and the action is intense. All that's missing is the guy from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show to read the narration and some danger music.

Lead your favourite group of cesspool commandos who are armed to the teeth in a desperate attempt to rescue the General and save the world as we know it!!!!

Included in the zip file are the scenario file and detailed allied intellegence for your mission.

Available now by e-mailing me directly, or soon at the Scenario Depot (provided that Keth will actually take it).

I warn you though, it's tough. In fact, I double-dog dare any of you pack of pillow biters to crank the AI experience level to 3 and make it out alive your first go. After you have played it, make sure you provide a review at the Scenario Depot whether you think it is the best thing since Kitty's KT mod or the most unmitigated pile of ****e ever and also have some actual proof that John Wayne was not, in fact, a nazi.

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You would think that, after the movie Fargo, Minnesota police officers would be more 'hip' and have a better sense of humour.

My apologies to you poor mites, bereft these last several days of my presence. To my long suffering (but not suffering nearly enough) opponents, I am all caught up on turns. If you don't have one, it's because you owe me.

Yeknod, thou hast transgressed. To harass a Lady of the Pool is to die unnoticed, and sink into your own filth (which is a lower grade filth than we would ever allow here). I see that you have attempted to rise, amended your post, and seek now the proper path of taunting, by which redemption may be achieved.

Go the whole way home, lad, and apologize to the Lady. Normally, we're not much on apologies here in the Peng Challenge Thread, but there are certain transgressions for which no other solution will suffice.

Mace, your Incarnation of the Thread of threads is hideous. It redeems your horrible Sonny Bono photograph.

Persephone, Mistress of Illusion and Truth, the treatment of Goanna was inspired, the portrait of Shaw and the Mormon Wives™ was the most grotesquely humourous thing of my past year, but the portrayal of Hiram Sedai, the Knight of the Woeful Countenance, was – Priceless.

I can die now.

Of course, if I do, who will teach the children about the Peng Challenge Thread?

Best I stay alive just a bit longer.

After all, I still have to complete the History of the Peng Challenge Thread, Part II.

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

no chance of winning and would only be wasting everyones time. <hr></blockquote>

....er, er, I feel a challenge gestating in me bowels.... er, uuuuuuuuuuh... okay, okay.... ahem, (cough).... Elvis, can I have a surrender file, too, pls?

Yeknod

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Lawyer:

I am no longer a "wanker"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry. wrong again. You have my vote.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Senna-chee-wowser and his troops are dying by degrees. Send me a surrender

and stop wasting our time, useless git ! Any decent player ( note: not to be taken literally

in your case), would know when total destruction is imminent, and therefore take

the honorable; sorry - N/A in your case; proper way out.

Your quest is in tatters. Your reputation - isn't to be seen.

PS. Anyone seen Hannsie anytime lately. Apart from that lame post about

being overworked, or somefink !

Noba.

{Edited 'cos of that damned UBB}

[ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: Noba ]</p>

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba:

Originally posted by Lawyer:

I am no longer a "wanker"

Sorry. wrong again. You have my vote.

[ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: Noba ]<hr></blockquote>

Hmmm ......... maybe a new term could be coyned to describe the Lawless one.

How's about "LANKER"?? - ergot the marriage of Lawyer and WANKER - since the association of WANKER with LAWYER is too bleedin' obvious!! Then again, how about LOSSER - I'll let you go figure......

AJ

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Legal Notice:

BTW, in an unrelated matter, I have asked that BTS remove Hiram from the list of approved forum participants since he is clearly not a "person" as that term is used in legal or socially acceptable circles. But he has proven beyond reasonable doubt that he belongs in NJ for eternity. A fitting punishment for being himself.

Laws are laws, and the Justicar must be served his daily ration of petty rule mongering. So be it.

[ 01-02-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]<hr></blockquote>

So noted. Your opinion does not really matter. My disdain for all things lawyerly does not depend upon my status as a person or individual in this great society of ours. Find the time to aspire to be more like jdmorse and I might care a whit what you think. The circles I'm in aren't quite "socially acceptable" but they do display much less tugging and jerking than the ones I'm certain you participate in.

Now, for something considerably more important than conversing with one who lives in the bowels of the federal government: Elvis It's so good to hear from you again. Has that rash cleared up? If you still have a turn file from our last struggle, could you be a real trooper and send it my way? Did you delete it? Thanks much, big guy!!

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And now another year in this fetid swamp. I was truly hoping some apocalyptic event would occur. I saw the signs -- Lawyer donating to charity, OGSF making sense, Mace moving on to animals with toes . . . (or maybe I jsut saw those after eating some bad pepperoni pizza . . . anyway . . .). Alas, you were not smitten down en masse as you all truly deserve.

Damn. I'll have to begin praying much harder.

In any event, I return, rested and refreshed from my yuletide break. Although I have, of course, started that arduous hazing process known as 'preparing for the bar exam' (I liked my undergraduate version involving Tennessee whiskey and nubile blonde coeds much better than the current version), I still have time to hate each and every one of you individually.

Especially you, Lawyer, ESPECIALLY you.

Turns go out tonight. Also, I must enquire as to whether that mad Scotsman has ever mentioned anything about the Lawyer/Joe Shaw matchup we were supposed to prepare? I have a little map I put together -- I call it the Not So Super Bowl -- and am ready to discuss troops with the wee tossel.

The rest of you should go ahead and forget those new year's resolutions and eat all you want -- especially those fatty, salty foods that your heart truly craves.

Twits.

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Turns go out tonight. Also, I must enquire as to whether that mad Scotsman has ever mentioned anything about the Lawyer/Joe Shaw matchup we were supposed to prepare? I have a little map I put together -- I call it the Not So Super Bowl -- and am ready to discuss troops with the wee tossel. <hr></blockquote>Alas (one of the blonde co-eds you mentioned would do nicely thanks), no. I'm thinking that Lawyer is beginning to regret his choice of a second. Of course, given his community of "friends" I suppose that beggars can't be choosers.

Joe

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Back in a couple of flerdlings.

Peng<hr></blockquote>

Heh heh...he said 'flerdlings.'

I would like to take this opportunity to announce that when Hiram's score was subtracted from my score, the amount leftover was still greater than Hiram's score. It is however less important what the result was, and of utmost import how the play was conducted. So let me also say that the 6 men that Hiram had living at the end of the day were running away with their hands above their heads (having long since thrown away their weapons) screaming something in German that resembled 'ich bein ein berliner.' His wounded lay mewling and whimpering on the battlefield like the big 5th graders that they were. They eagerly accepted all of the bullets my men had to offer enjoined them to send more by standing motionless in the middle of a hedge. So, well done Hiram. I look forward to the next time I can massacre your men in detail.

And Mr. Underlizard. Badmouthing Mr. Wayne is a personal affront. Do I need to have one of these fine upstanding (shhh...) lawyers injoin you to cease and desist all derogative remarks against Mr. Wayne, or shall I personally treat you to an elephant sized dose of Crodaburg?

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<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Alas (one of the blonde co-eds you mentioned would do nicely thanks), no. I'm thinking that Lawyer is beginning to regret his choice of a second. Of course, given his community of "friends" I suppose that beggars can't be choosers.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Ye're a festerin' clump o' vegetable matter, ain' ye? Pillock. Ah'll di tha second thang, af'n ye kin tell mae wha' tha feckin' rules an' procedurrres might bae this week! MrSpkr, ye gibberin' bulgey-eyed salmonella spore - send mae an' email wi' ye putrid questions. As at sae hard? There are morrre options open tae ye than just meend readin' ye knoo!

Gits.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

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Croda, what you are in the mood for? I'll play anything that is 400 Pts or below. Any type of forces that have American soldiers. Any kind of weather that is nice and sunny. Any date except for most of them in 1945 and a few in 1944. I'm easy about the force selection too as long as it's combined arms. Okay? No, wait. How about unrestricted Combined Arms with Infantry thrown in and mixed nationalities? Random religions too.

Edited because Andreas looks down upon us all and he is not happy with what he sees. You! Yes, you. Stand still, laddie! Ye can't have any pudding until you beat your...oh nevermind

[ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Edited again because of the inherent fallibility that denotes lack of education which a certain Germanboy/Adreas does not suffer from.

[ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

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{translation}

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:

I'm a lazy bastard. I got chosen for this matter because Lawyer has no friends, and because he has incriminating information regarding me, a bottle of Laphroaig, and a ferret. Like most Americans who fake a Scottish accent, I'm too stupid to figure anything out on my own, so you'll have to walk me through every little step of this process. In fact, I'm so incredibly dense, you will have to email me first so I can simply hit the {reply} button rather than actually figuring out how to enter a whole email address by myself.

SirOldMacDonaldHadAFarmEIEIOJimmy<hr></blockquote>

{/Translation}

Translation services provided by Ker Dessel. Ker Dessel: when you want to play CM in the worst way.

I will keep this simple (in deference to you as well as to Lawyer).

Look for email tonight. I made map. Map in email. You open map. You pick 'splodey things. You save map. You reply email. You attach map to email. I review. If I like, we watch Lawyer and Joe Shaw 'splode each other.

Understand? No? Then ask for help, ya' nong.

Edited to avoid a libel suit

[ 01-03-2002: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]</p>

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