2002: A Peng Challenge Oddity

[Agua Perdido]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

The wings stall independently and has led to much gnashing of teeth about high speed stalls in turns. Stalls, spins, flat spins {shudder}.<hr></blockquote>

What the feck is this?! A, dare I say it, groggy post? About some Commie-loving game that isn't CMBB? In here? And from the Justicar! Heresy! Calumny! Blasphemy! Treason! I demand a trial! Or at least stenographers!

UPDATES

Joe Shaw, for his unrepentent air-grog airs, shall have no turn tonight. I was going to put jdmorse back at the bottom of my waiting list, but you've retained your position. I want you to think about you've done, young man. Remember, I'm not punishing you for your own good, I'm punishing you because you're a bad, bad person.

jdmorse, after finally figuring out it was his turn, is flinging a human wave of elite parahamsters at my conscript Canuckleheads. Arty falling everywhere, dead Canadupes stacked up like cordwood, and at least 3 confirmed Axis casualties.

Croda actually sent me a turn. We may finish our game by 2010.

Lars is seeing if his Hetzer can pivot faster than my Hellcat can run. Did Hetzers have problems aiming to the right or to the left? I hope it was left.

Other games with other folks, too (least among them, Seanachai), that I haven't gotten to. Happy hour approaches; must dash...

Agua Perdido

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Finally, my system is in dire need of an upgrade (PIII 450, 256 RAM and a VooDoo3 and it STILL runs quite well).

Joe

<hr></blockquote>

Yeah, and your '84 Plymouth Valiant is still running like a top too, eh? Sheesh, I just passed my PIII 600 on to my 10-year old daughter.

Like I said, how does IL-2 look on your Gameboy, Joe. Do I have to explain everything?

Time to upgrade Just-a-Catty-Cat, aka Mr. Tinkles.

BTW, what IL-2 forum is best? SimHQ? IL-2 website? Another? I've been browsing the official site forum and it seems to have more idiots than the outerboard here.

[Patch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally lied by Stuka:

I have never used the word 'nong' in real life. It is a tad camp (not that theres anything wrong with that).

I have also never worn a wide brimmed hat adorned with corks on strings or worn a safari suit and sandals with socks.

You people should not beleive everything you read about Australia. (except all the good stuff)<hr></blockquote>

Liar!

Persephone

[OGSF]

Ye filthy beggars wi' ye stankin' flight simulator (Ah saed "simulator", Bauhaus, siddown!) talk! Tak' ye filthy gossip tae tha General Forum wi' tha other axle greasers!

Hiram mon! Wonderful noos!

An' aboot thas shtyupid map tha Joe Ah cannae play ye just noo, mah bums backfired Shaw an' Lawyer are waitin' on. Joe's idiot lovechild MrSpkr haes managed tae saend tha map at long last. Ah've noo opened at yet. But at's oop tae us seconds tae buy tha units Joe, ye poncey bag o' piss an' wind! Tha's noo discussion fraim tha leeks o' yoo, Jimmy. Settin' a wee gam oop fer yoo as lak an' elephant havin' a breach birth! Wha happened tae jus' gettin' stuck ain! Af'n mah wee pixel laddies were lined oop across fraim your's, Ah'd saind tha lot o' thaim chargin' aintae ye wi' their claymores swingin', while your soppy bunch o' pixel puffs wid bae havin' their finger nails inspaicted bah Aunty Joe. Ye're a loathsome piece o' bureaucratic pomposity an' Ah intaind tae smack tha sloppy snot oot o'yer pouting knuckledragger o'a flat haided ex-sqire, MrSpkr on account ov' at!

Sae, MrSpkr, will ye noo step oop an' bae slapped aboot ain defaince o' yer ex-*snicker*-leige? Or are ye a backslidin' wobbly clump o' bluster an' boiled dockweed sauce as waill?

AH'M LOOKIN' AT YOO, JIMMY!!

Mensch!!! Stop dyin' o' lung rot an' saind mae a turrrn, ye loose scab!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Lawyer]

Whoa there, Second Boyz...

This Joe "I can't play a normal game" Shaw thing is getting out of hand. Nobody has asked for my opinion (which I'm always glad to give, wanted or not) and I sure as hell don't want to get mixed up in anything cooked up by Mr "My Champs Didn't Quite Make It" Spkr, who dropped our last game like he drops his change on the floor at "Raymond's Hot Spot" in Deadly Dallas. Noooo....

I will NOT get stuck in the muck with Joe Blow for more than 1500 pts., and I won't be "Freddie the Horny Frenchman" or "Gznokyad the Neighborhood Pollack." Nope, just US or Germs for me. And no snow unless Joey has to cross 2000 meters of open ground to attack my Legal Forces.

Why is starting a game with the Hussy JussyCar so difficult? Why must the whole neighborhood be involved in our family fights?

[ 01-04-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Whoa there, Second Boyz...

I will NOT get stuck in the muck with Joe Blow for more than 1500 pts., and I won't be "Freddie the Horny Frenchman" or "Gznokyad the Neighborhood Pollack." Nope, just US or Germs for me. And no snow unless Joey has to cross 2000 meters of open ground to attack my Legal Forces.

Why is starting a game with the Hussy JussyCar so difficult? Why must the whole neighborhood be involved in our family fights?

[ 01-04-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]<hr></blockquote>

At's alreet laddie, ye noo a SSN sae ye'll get a proper map. As far as Ah kin mak oot, yer tha German's an' Joe's tha Yanks. Aboot 1500 -2000 points an' tha maps nae bad.

But Ah agree wi' ye - ye may as waill di a QB or pick sumthin fraim tha Scenario Depot - or Der Kessel af'n ye feelin' lucky.

Ah'm more'n happy tae toss thus nonsense, but Ah'll press on wi' tha setoop unlaiss Ah hear otherwise!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>My formerly loyal and trustworthy squire Agua Perdido stabbed me in the back by saying: What the feck is this?! A, dare I say it, groggy post? About some Commie-loving game that isn't CMBB? In here? And from the Justicar!

Heresy! Calumny! Blasphemy! Treason! I demand a trial! Or at least stenographers!<hr></blockquote> Look you lad, an Off-Topic post is, by definition, ON Topic in the CessPool! Furthermore I said, many times, that I was NOT an expert on the subject but just liked the game, IN OTHER WORDS ... I am maintaining exactly the same position that I maintain with CMBO. As to your turn ... a likely story lad.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>And, just to make a REALLY neato-keen day even that much better, we hear from Lawyer: BTW, what IL-2 forum is best? SimHQ? IL-2 website? Another? I've been browsing the official site forum and it seems to have more idiots than the outerboard here.<hr></blockquote> Well I like this, not only does he insult me and, far worse, my computer, but now he wants free advice! I, however, am the better man (as if there was ever any doubt) and shall answer his question because ... well, I'm the better man.

I agree about the official site: IL-2 Forum There does seem to be a large percentage of doffuses (doffi?) but it's very active and has some very good information. Geier recommends the Delphi forum: Delphi Air Sim Forum

My congratulations on your new system, you should be able to die first almost all the time with it.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Finally we had the unutterable joy of trying to decypher one of OGSF's posts: But at's oop tae us seconds tae buy tha units Joe, ye poncey bag o'piss an' wind! Tha's noo discussion fraim tha leeks o' yoo, Jimmy. Settin' a wee gam oop fer yoo as lak an' elephant havin' a breach birth! Wha happened tae jus' gettin' stuck ain!<hr></blockquote> You see gentlemen, this should demonstrate, once and for all, the folly of choosing a Scot for ... well, actually about anything but particularly to act as second in a matter of honor!

The Code Duello is quite specific when it states: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>XVI. The challenged chooses his ground, the challnger chooses his distance, the seconds fix the time and terms of firing.<hr></blockquote> Therefore, while your principal, as the challenged party, has the right to approve the ground (i.e. the map), my second, through me as HIS principal donchaknow, has the right to choose the distance or in this case the general SIZE of the engagment. Upon completion, the seconds then set the time and terms, or in this case, the setup zones and whatever other details are required.

However, the Code is also quite specific that: <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>VI. If A gives B the lie and B retorts by a blow (being the two greatest offences), no reconciliation can take place till after two discharges each or a severe hit, after which B may beg A's pardon for the blow, and then A may explain simply for the lie, because a blow is never allowable, and the offence of the lie, therefore, merges in it.<hr></blockquote> But of course that's obvious.

{psst, MrSpkr ... I've set him up, he should be so dizzy now that he'll actually agree to giving Lawyer nothing but a Kublewagen and an FO without any rounds ... I love it when a plan comes together.}

Joe

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch:

Liar!

Persephone<hr></blockquote>

WOW! This is your best effort yet, Persephone.

I've never understood why a guy would post a picture of hisself with his daughter just to make people think she is his "wife". Does he think we're stupid?

No really, does he??

Screw it! We don't care what Stuka thinks anyway. Fortunately, we don't have this problem with his buddy Mace because he doesn't think at all.

[Mace]

Oh Persephone, I know some fine Lawyer pictures that'd be just dandy for your next project. *hint hint*

Something suitable for his place in society.

Mace

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

Oh Persephone, I know some fine Lawyer pictures that'd be just dandy for your next project. *hint hint*

Something suitable for his place in society.

Mace<hr></blockquote>

She already did it, ya stoopid git. And I looked good too.

[BFCElvis]

Dear Hram,

GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!

Luv,

Elvis

[Cest bon]

WHOO WHOO WHOO

My goodness what a great day, full of great news!

Hiram, I am happy to hear about your sister. I remember Lorak mentioning her before. I also wish your sister the best in her motherhood. Have her wait until the 31st and she can share our daughters birthday.

Now for my good news! ( a little bad news, but this post should be long gone by the time he gets back with the way you guys post. )

Lorak is coming home!!

He messed up his knee in a jump. Tore a ligament or tendon or something. He should be home within the week. He didn't let me know sooner so I wouldn't worry.

He says that everything went well, but due to his down time and the injury he is no longer fit for active duty.

I really hope you guys don't think I am a uncaring bitch or think that I am anti-military.(Far from it. I was an army brat growing up).

But I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy he is coming home and will be a civy!

One other thing. He will be out of work for another week or two after he gets back. I was thinking of picking him up a couple DVD's and maybe a new computer game as a welcome home gift.

Do you guys have any suggestions? I mean as in historical or war movie DVD's?

As for the computer game I see yinz are talking about IL-2. I guess from reading it is a flying game. Would that be something to pick up? If so could you tell me the minimal requirments for it?

If I hear more I let you know!!!

Later Scum!

Cest Bon

[Herr Oberst]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

WHOO WHOO WHOO

Now for my good news! Lorak is coming home!!

He messed up his knee in a jump. Tore a ligament or tendon or somefink.

Cest Bon<hr></blockquote>

That's our gamey scum Lorak! Always looking for the out...

Great news.

[Hanns]

Awww.... isn't that cute? Good ol' Andreass speelled mei naem rwong. I believe a little psychoanalysis (yes bauhaus, it does contain the words psycho and anal but it has nothing to do with your sister) of Andreas' post will shed a little light on his condition. Notice the pinched face, a classic sign on terminal constipation and the caterpillaresque mono-brow. Delusions of grandeur (or at least adequacy) are quite apparent in his manifesto. I hereby offer the hypothesis that Andreas is not of unter-Deutsch stock as he claims but is in fact an ex-pat Montenegran goat herder living in exile for his crimes against various livestock. The truth shall be known! I, unlike other so called übermensch do not try and claim a "noble" bloodline for I'm one half Moravian. Granted I have traced my surname back to 1286 but that's besides the point. That Andreas has claimed false my post of this New Years festivities shows his utter lack of knowledge as to the proper proceedings at a real bacchanalia. My brother happens to be a priest of Bacchus hence my invitation to this particular gathering. My presence was also welcomed for certain skills I employee to keep some of the more inebriated (or tripping) guests from breaking things. In the sea of wild abandon I was the rock of cold discipline (heh, it's drafty in old churches) and semi-sober authority. Women seem to admire that. Not that a one second wünder like Andreas would understand. I happen to tread in a realm where few "normals" traipse and your ignorance is well understood. Go rent "8MM" or somefink and wonder why we all laughed at the "hardcore" scenes. Here is a little bit of song for the "golden child".

"I can strike the light

and see through the truth

for I'm the DEICIDE

Dominus, what could you do?

Thou has failed you now,

once again and always will.

Upon the cross, forgotten son

a sacrifice it had to be done.

Died for me?

Well that's to bad I don't believe

Killed by sin

of the evil what I am

Your destruction

reason for a world of pain

Blind disciple

you will never live again"

Can I have an AMEN?

Hanns

[ 01-04-2002: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

WHOO WHOO WHOO

Lorak is coming home!!

Do you guys have any suggestions? I mean as in historical or war movie DVD's?

Later Scum!

Cest Bon<hr></blockquote>

[/scottish]

Wonderful news, Cest bon! My Leige returns - of course I am now a Seniour Kanniget, I'm sure he will be soooo proud.

Regarding DVDs, I would suggest one or all of the following:

Kelly's Heroes

A Bridge Too Far

Tora! Tora! Tora!

Re games. A good one I have just finished (the only other one besides CM in 19 months) is called "Deadly Dozen". A WWII single player "special units behind German lines" thing.

Them's my suggestions.

[scottish]

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

WHOO WHOO WHOO

Lorak is coming home!!

He messed up his knee in a jump.

Later Scum!

Cest Bon<hr></blockquote>

Jeez, when ya tell a guy to break a leg he ain't s'posed to take it literally.

That's great news, Sara. Glad to hear it.

"Enemy at the Gate" on DVD might help get him up for CM:BB.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Lorak is coming home!!<hr></blockquote> Cest Bon, dear lady, I think we all agree that Lorak has done his part. He'll be welcomed here with ... well we'll likely heap scorn and ridicule on him but around here that passes for being welcomed. Bauhaus will likely TRY to welcome him with open arms but Lorak is too clever for THAT ploy.

As to the DVD, I gotta go with Enemy At The Gates too. Not the best of war movies but far from the worst (the worst, at least of the current crop, would be Pearl Harbor).

As to the game, IL-2 is a flight sim dealing with the Eastern Front (Russians vs. Germans in WW2 ... forgive me if I'm telling you stuff you already know) and is very good IF he likes flight sims. It seems very forgiving on system requirements and if it'll run on MY antique machine I bet it'll run on his. Frankly it's the only thing that comes close to CM right now, at least in my opinion.

Congratulations and tell him WELL DONE from the CessPool!

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

WHOO WHOO WHOO<hr></blockquote>

Outstanding! (well, perhaps the klutz won't be standing) This seems to be the day for good news.

As to movies, I have to go along with Enemy At The Gates and Cross of Iron (Ok you pillocks, do you really think he doesn't already have Kelly's Heroes?)

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

Lorak is coming home!!

He messed up his knee in a jump. Tore a ligament or tendon or something. He should be home within the week. He didn't let me know sooner so I wouldn't worry.

<hr></blockquote>

I've ..*sob*.. missed the big lug, ..*sniff*.. the interesting ..*Sob*.. ICQ chats, the literature ..*sniff sob*.. reviews, the discussions ..*sob*.. about cosmology and *sniff* science, and all the other intellectual ..*sob sniff*.. topics.

But most of all, I've ..*sob*.. missed the the comradre of the ..*sniff sniff sob*.. of our PBEM (mainly because I was winning).

I'm so happy, I could.....WhhaaaaaAAAAAAaaaa!!!

Mace

[Goanna]

Great to hear about the return of Lorak. Tell that elvish bastard to get back to work on the cespool site, chop chop. We're not all immortal like the elves, you know.

For his shopping list: (DVDs)

Where Eagles Dare - then maybe he will want to play my new scenario.

Bridge on the River Kwai - Not as much military action as you might want, but you can't beat David Lean and an Academy Award.

Enemy at the Gates - I'm with Moriarty (no really, I don't mind the petrol smell) it will get him ready for CM2

Excellent to hear things are going well in the Sedai clan too. However, it's ok to say the C word. I AM the cancer.

Now where's the hate people? How come no one has taunted me in ages. {grumble grumble} It will be good to have Lorak back. Hope he was housed with all dwarves, is pissed off and needs a good rant.

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

How come no one has taunted me in ages. {grumble grumble} <hr></blockquote>

Stop ye whinin', ye Pommy bastaarrd. Tha's right, Ah called ye a whingin' Pommy bastarrd.

Sae, thus three legged dog walks aintae a saloon. Hae sleeds oop tae tha bar an' says, "Ah'm lookn' fer tha man tha shot mah paw!"

Och, whuch rameends mae...mah wee span'l just beat Morairty ain "Fertile Ground", aboot 982 tae 6 or thereaboots. Smacked hais teeth loose. Bah tha aind o' tha game, she had contrrrol o'er every VL an' were jumpin' oop an' doon on tha haid o' hais company commander an' pullin' on hais earlobes.

An' wha are ye? Pillocks, tha's reeght. Pil - locks.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

Edited fer tha wannabe sassanach.

[ 01-05-2002: Message edited by: OGSF ]</p>

[Goanna]

If in fact you did just finish "Fertile Ground", you should pop over to the Depot and provide a review. That's a good lad, Jimmy.

And take your spotted mongrel with you before we grind his arse up and feed him to you as some sort of delicacy from your mum.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

WHOO WHOO WHOO

My goodness what a great day, full of great news!

Hiram, I am happy to hear about your sister. I remember Lorak mentioning her before. I also wish your sister the best in her motherhood. Have her wait until the 31st and she can share our daughters birthday.

Now for my good news! ( a little bad news, but this post should be long gone by the time he gets back with the way you guys post. )

Lorak is coming home!!

He messed up his knee in a jump. Tore a ligament or tendon or something. He should be home within the week. He didn't let me know sooner so I wouldn't worry.

He says that everything went well, but due to his down time and the injury he is no longer fit for active duty.

I really hope you guys don't think I am a uncaring bitch or think that I am anti-military.(Far from it. I was an army brat growing up).

But I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy he is coming home and will be a civy!

Later Scum!

Cest Bon<hr></blockquote>

Hello, Mrs. Lorak!! That is excellent news. Thanks for sharing it with us. I remember how worried my Ex-wife was when I was in Saudi Arabia years ago. I think that Lorak is lucky to have such a supportive family.

Thanks for the encouragement too. I do appreciate it. It opened my eyes to the realization that when we read these posts, we share the info with our loved ones.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

For his shopping list: (DVDs)

Now where's the hate people? How come no one has taunted me in ages. {grumble grumble} It will be good to have Lorak back. Hope he was housed with all dwarves, is pissed off and needs a good rant.<hr></blockquote>

Goanna, put down that European Scatological Frenzy Monthly magazine, put your teeth back in, and put aside the hand lotion for a moment. Look at you, man!! What happened to the spry lizard that used to use his tongue to sense the weather patterns and how Oprah will be feeling today? You’re not the cold blooded lizard we knew and it concerns me. I used to be able to count on the cold shoulder treatment from you and the other usernames starting with “G” (Geier, Germanboy, Goriarty, Gelvis, Groda) Now, I hear some whining. Oh, somebody taunt me!! My uterus needs some rubbing. My name only rhymes with a certain phallic shaped fruit. Gawd!! Take some damn mulivitamin viagra old dude pills and taunt someone yourself. Must I repeat what we’ve read over and over? Pick an opponent and blah blah blah. Croda can do it and he’s an autistic butt burgler.

You could ask Seanachai for some help if you are confused. He can whip out a poetry book and show you the way. Maybe even Joe Shaw could tutor you on taunting, but his is mostly overblown egotism combined with narcissist overcompensation that hides an id the size of a pea and a superego the size of South Dakota which is evident in his portrayal of a Mormon vacuum cleaner salesman who clings to the small hope that one day somebody somewhere will slip and call him a “justicar”.

Edited because none of Mrs. Sedai's offspring answer to the name of Andreas.

[ 01-05-2002: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]</p>

[Lawyer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

Lorak is coming home!!

He messed up his knee breaking into the front of the line at McDonald's Free Food-for-All. Tore a ligament or tendon or something. He says that everything went well, but due to his down time and the injury he is no longer fit for active duty.

Cest Bon<hr></blockquote>

Hmmm... Lorak's famous Big Mac Attack finally resulted in serious injury. He really should have been more careful jumping out of the Hummvee at the drive-in window. Not being "fit for active duty" will make him fit in just fine here at "4-F Company" where the members are as limp as the wrists.

Now as to DVD's and games, Joe Shaman, Mr. Sandman, and Sheepy Cheeky are all WRONG as usual. Fortunately, I am here to set the record straight.

"Pearl Harbor" in fact is a good movie with lots of action and plays great on DVD. "Saving Private Ryan" is made for DVD.

"Enemy at the Gates" could have been filmed while crawling around the abandoned mills in Cleveland after the snow gets dirty, and is just about as exciting. With an astounding budget of $138.50, Ed Harris, and a storyline that defies credibility, it seems just the kind of movie that would appeal to the lesser minded here.

Note to Gooanna-fanna-fo-fanna-banana-fanna-FO-FANNA-Goooannna. "Where Eagles Dare" has not yet been released on DVD. What other news from the civilized world do you require?

Cest Bon, if "IL-2 Sturmovik" does not fit Lorak's ample profile (let's face it, what does?), I recommend "Ghost Recon" which simulates modern squad warfare, or "Medal of Honor", a terrific looking WWII first person shooter game that will be released later this month. You charge the beaches at Normandy, and go on through several different WWII environments.

Thank goodness for lawyers to set the record straight around here.

[ 01-05-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>