Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

7.(d) I drive a Ford Explorer that has been put into 4-wheel drive at least twice in seven years.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That was just to make sure the "4 W/D" button still worked wasn't it?

[Stalin's Organ]

Probablyonce to figure out what "W" did, then again to figure out what "D" is for.

I expect he'll do it twice more soon just to make sure he's getting all 4 he's paid for!

[Speedy]

Hey Lorak, scribe thusly, the mad wannabe Scotsman OGSF and his gamey Panther and Wespe using German rabble have been soundly defeated by my glorious French ( yes you heard correctly, FRENCH )legions.

This all occurred on Runes evil Bridges of Le Luc map, the final tally being the legend Speedy 64 the linguistically challenged OGSF 34.

edited for a bridge

[ 08-01-2001: Message edited by: Speedy ]

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

The FRENCH won one!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Must be a bug. BTS please fix or DO SOMEFINK!

[Panzer Leader]

Lorak, O' Scribe:

Let it be thusly inscribed into the tome of Deeds of Merit and Accomplishment:

I have slewn Shandorf on the field of battle. What once was great (or at least thought he was) has now swung low.

What was always thought low has been raised to triumph.

A long time ago, I made a groggish reflection on the Allies ability to defend against an Axis Assault. Well, needless to say, though my theory may not be PROVEN as yet, I can at least stick another feather in my cap.

Shandorf: the vanquished

Panzr Leader: the victor

*****

Incidentally, he struggled with all the wits and machinations that a worm of his sorts can muster, and a I applaud his ability to hold out until only 2(!) men were combat-worthy, but my armies (totally un-gamey by the way, three companies, some 234/1's an armoured PzG plt, a PzIV, a single Tiger, and a few light tanks) overcame his meager skirmish line after little more than a skirmish.

My 234s didn't last long, but I still retained the out of ammo PzIV and Tiger at the end, along with a single HT and a whole bunch of infantry. Of course, my commanders will have to write a bunch of letters tonight, but at least they'll be smoking Lucky Strikes while they do it!

I don't mean to sound presumptious or anything, but I do believe I am undefeatable. Well... at least indefatigable.

****

Oh, one last thing. Since this is Gearbox's thread, I'd like to take this opportunity to tell him I'm sorry for pissing him off a while back and hope that we can shake on it and be friends again.

As for the rest of you, I never did like you, so there. Oh, Dame Achin'! I see a chance for you to drive another member away. Tell Joe he HAS to play his blood hamster feud. Tee-hee!

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

I don't mean to sound presumptious or anything, but I do believe I am undefeatable. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

How you think u're doin' in our games oh jamey one?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Well... at least indefatigable.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Maybe you aer, but the rest of us get tired listening to your scratches and squeaks Mousey, so do be a good little ratus ratus and crawl back in your hole......

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Here is a thread started by a certain Mr Jeff Heidman to complain about haltracks being too vulnerable. I believe the game was subsequently changed as a result of this or similar complaints.

Are half tracks TOO vulnerable?

Here is a thread started by a certain Mr Jeff Heidman to complain about halftracks being invulnerable. I accepted his self-righteousness over the issue until I realised that he may be partly responsible for causing it.

I hate to say this, but I think I found a bug... A BIG bug...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Do ya' know, I always think of Aitkin as the Anti-Heidman of the Forums. I mean, they can't be brought into close proximity without some sort of energy reaction, and although they behave exactly the same, they are completely different in how they do it.

Both are earnest, intense, and rather plain spoken to the point of rudeness (I'm speaking in terms of the Outer Boards, here), although you get the impression that neither of them actually dislikes anyone. The main difference is that Mr. Heidman is almost invariably negative in his approach, and Aitkin is usually positive (except regarding other human beings, of whom he seems to have a deep suspicion. Perhaps an unhappy childhood? Living under a decaying Monarchy? Being Scots, and feeling English? Hard to say).

Oh, also, I've only very rarely seen Heidman display anything much like a sense of humour, and David, despite his deeply suspicious looks and wrinkled lip, does indeed seem to have a sense of humour.

I suggest, just to be on the safe side, that one of them be kept in some sort of generated magnetic field containment bottle. My vote would be to put Heidman in, as a lack of a sense of humour wouldn't put any strain on the containment bubble.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

I believe it may have been Roosevelt who said "Tread quietly and carry a big stick", a lifestyle I happen to agree with.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What was actually said was: "Walk softly so as to leave the house without waking anyone up, and then let's go find some bloody Australians to kick the ****e out of."

And yes, he knew it was horribly ungrammatic.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

I have slewn Shandorf on the field of battle.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This is like taking sides in a contest between mad dogs... no need, and a happy ending either way.

Congratulations on belling the cat. I hope you have lewn down for a bit after what must have been quite a thrill.

This should rate the biggest asterisk since special character sets were introduced to the roll of kaniggets.

[Seanachai]

Well, well, well, it's nice to see everyone playing well together. Quite a few new matches started up lately, lots of activity, everyone as unfriendly as possible while still remaining quite good chums.

Oh, and although the issue has been resolved, and some very gentlemanly remarks passed by all parties, A Ruling from the Old Ones (and Lorak, who, in many ways is the very soul of the Peng Challenge Thread. The bastard) was called for, and Berli has had his say, so I shall have mine.

Normally, a Blood Hamster match is an extremely serious affair. It is nothing to be thrown about like a nerf ball, or the intellect of George W. Bush (which is still dangerous enough to put out the eye of small, unwary children).

The Blood Hamster match is a grudge match. It is a willingness to wager much on the desire to triumph over an opponent. As such, it is something that must be agreed to by both parties. Now, normally, the Blood Hamster involves the possession of another player's signature for a specified period. But it might involve other conditions, as long as they are mutually agreed upon.

Just so must the match be agreed upon. One cannot force another player into a 'double or nothing' wager. Only governments can do that. While a member might consider the challenge of honour placed before him, he is also quite free to consider his own freedom of choice. And here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we are very much about...Our Freedom!

Even the Old Ones, Lorak, the Seniour Knights, and the various titled and designated amongst us, can at best claim to be 'First amongst Equals'.

As far as Berli, Peng, and my humble self go, we are merely the 'First amongst the First amongst Equals'. Or, to quote Orwell, "Some animals are created more equal than others."

But no fear, as we form the most classicly stable of all groupings: a Trinity.

Heaven, Hell, and Earth. God, Satan, and Mankind. The Father, the Son, and the Spirit. Past, Present, Future. Larry, Moe, and Curly. It goes on and on, the permutations endless, the result: Balance.

Fear not for your independence, for your perogatives, for your rights. We are no more than manifestations of your will. We lead only in-so-far as we sense the needs of the folk.

Usually, of course, what we sense is that you bastards need a right good arse-kicking. And a serious telling-off and summation of your failings as sentient creatures. And after all that, of course, a jolly sing-song!

Basically, this post is a lengthy, long-winded, almost erudite and thorough-going treatment of Berli's: 'I see no reason why he should have to play a Blood Hamster match'.

Berli's the terse one. It's part of that balancing thing I was going on about earlier.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

This is like taking sides in a contest between mad dogs... no need, and a happy ending either way.

Congratulations on belling the cat. I hope you have lewn down for a bit after what must have been quite a thrill.

This should rate the biggest asterisk since special character sets were introduced to the roll of kaniggets.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, now I am torn. While I am filled with Pride over my Squire's victory over Shandorf (intensified by my imminent complete trashing by that same, horrible man, one 'Shandorf'), I cannot but feel conflicted because Mouse is still far, far, from being worthy of Knightly status, or, in fact, of leaving the men's room without a quick check of his vitals (zipper up, shirt not caught in it, etc. etc.)

But, it is a victory over the forces of Hubris, and should not be ignored, either.

Well done, Panzer Leader! (tuck that back in, you little pillock). Your victory is the sweeter knowing that Jefe really hates to lose.

Now, Squire. In honour of this victory, I stand ready to raise your status one notch. It might have been more, except for your stupidity regarding the Rules, and pettishness with Mark IV the other day.

I am the most Quixotic of the Knights (except perhaps for Shaw...this can reasonably be established through, say, a Blood Hamster match), and so I declare that the being who wishes (why, no one knows) to be called 'Panzer Leader', I set free, as my Squire, from the designation of 'Mouse'.

Henceforth, he shall be called 'Sancho', in memory and dubious honour of Sancho Panza.

One small scurry upwards for Panzer Leader; one giant leap upward for 'Mouse'.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

But no fear, as we form the most classicly stable of all groupings: a Trinity.

Heaven, Hell, and Earth. God, Satan, and Mankind. The Father, the Son, and the Spirit. Past, Present, Future. Larry, Moe, and Curly. It goes on and on, the permutations endless, the result: Balance.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So far, the village idiot of the Elders is correct

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Fear not for your independence, for your perogatives, for your rights.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Again, he is correct

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>We are no more than manifestations of your will. We lead only in-so-far as we sense the needs of the folk. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Biggest load of ****e spewed by seanachai to date! Manifestations of your will my ass! You are figments of our collective minds! The only reason your freedom is safe, is that we can seldom agree on anything (Peng and I can at times, but seanachai is a royal pain). We lead because we give form to the wasteland and we couldn't care less about the needs of the phantoms we have created there.

[Panzer Leader]

Oh fair and "almost erudite" (snicker) knight, I would hold it in the highest honor to be named after the great man-at-arms Sancho Panza. Now there was a cad...

Can it be emboldened? Asterisk, anything, anyyyyythiiiing.....

[Berlichtingen]

Where the Hell are the lackies of the MBT? I had to rouse myself to rescue it from slipping onto page two. More beatings for the lackies I say!

[Buzzsaw]

LArs

No file from you yet. I will assume that the dimwitted MrSpkr is still struggling with the scenario editor. I sincerely hope he does not create something too silly (e.g. sharpshooters versus King Tigers at night with dense fog).

I will enjoy slaughtering your troops. You should know that I will be more inclined to accept your surrender if you pile your corpses into one massive ziggurat proclaiming my greatness.

[Lars]

“born a fool, died a sage”

Could refer to either Sancho or his Knigget. Note that wisdom is only attained on their death when it will do them no good whatsoever.

Buzzbuzzbuzz, you were right about MrSpkr straining his brain with the scenario editor. Enjoy it, as it will be the last time you will be right this year. It looks like its “Crodaburg” for you, laddie. The setup will be on the way this evening.

[mensch]

Lorak RACK'M up.

after a brief "chat" with PeterNZ I have come to the light of explainations. He will not finish my game since he is "occupied" by another game (name withheld) so either I wait a year till he gets bored of this game and resumes our battle which I was winning.. I declare WIN by me by his responce of

PeterNZ (icq chat):

"i tend to play one game at a time and right now it's not CM "

I suggest the others who were also left out to dry by MR. ICOULDHAVESENDANEMAILSAYINGTHIS. to do the same.

thwack you.

[ 08-01-2001: Message edited by: mensch ]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Hey Lorak, scribe thusly, the mad wannabe Scotsman OGSF and his gamey Panther and Wespe using German rabble have been soundly defeated by my glorious French <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, this reminds me that I have neglected to report my recent topplement of the Mad Scot Bastarrrrd.

Despite my bet efforts, I was not able to remove Sir Alphabet's vermin from two of four minor VLs; however, his loss of two devil hetzers, two Panthers, and FOUR Flak-truck-thingys-from-hell managed to tip the score to the good guys. A minor victory of 60 something to 30 something.

Marlow Whupper

OBGYN Whuppee

In other news,

The Hand of the Law is being administered a beating of epic proportion in a 1500 point battle with computer selected forces, over alpine like terrain. So far the attacking Yankees have managed to capture 3 of 6 VLs, and have taken minimal losses (one hellcat, a few halftracks, and light infantry casualties) while the Germanic barbarians have lost three hetzers, an 88, about a company of infantry and three armored cars. This despite the fact that the computer is a gamey bastard and gave me a heavy weapons company for an attack, and gave Lawyer SMG hordes and devil hetzers.

jd is kicking my behind, so we need not dwell any further on that battle other than to say if you run across a scenario with greyhounds against Panthers, run away, run very far away.

Shandy Duncan looks to be in trouble in our current battle (ME, night, fog, unrestricted purchase). He has a lot more face up soldiers, and onesees and twosees that used to be threesees than I do. He recently commented "you have a lot of infantry." More where they came from sonny. The fog hides many things. Make sure you ask Jefe about the special he has going on halftracks. Low mileage, a few holes, and bloodstains that should come out with baking soda.

Mr. Sphincter is feeling warm and fuzzy about his chances in our current game. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Speedy and I are engaged in a fun little bloodbath. Lots of 'Sploding buldings, burning tanks, bodies (minus the unmodeled blood. DO SOMEFINK BTS). I now have the VLs and should be able to eek a win out unless he kills my 251/9s, which he has taken to calling the "Spawn of the Evil One."

WildWoman has potentially managed to pull defeat from the jaws of victory, and is currently learning the valuable lesson that close range combat with Mountain troops is not a good idea. Goodonya matey.

[ 08-01-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]

[BFCElvis]

I am going to post something very shortly about my Blood Hamster vs Lizardboy. Before I do I need someone to tell me the purpose of a Blood Hamster.

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

after a brief "chat" with PeterNZ I have come to the light of explainations. He will not finish my game since he is "occupied" by another game (name withheld) so either I wait a year till he gets bored of this game and resumes our battle which I was winning.. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not only should Lorak rack em up for me and Stukey (any more?) but what is more important is that the losses for the useless sheepshagger be noted before he is denoted to something below the pissboys or wiped off the face of the page.

{serious]

This kind of behaviour makes me really pissed off. There are so many ways to show you don't give a **** about anyone but yourself and this is one of the more effective, lazy and cowardly ones. If you don't feel like playing anymore just write a little note and say so. How hard is that?{/serious]

Sancho, remember what I said before? Don't take anything in here seriously (unless they have the serious tags, then you'd better believe in it). And don't believe everything The Bard writes about me either.

I'm much much worse than anything he can come up with. However, I must admit to being rather fond of his description of me as a cruel and unnatural man. Lucky shot most likely.

[Lorak]

Greetings bastages.

What a lovely bunch of wackos we have in here today.

Gamey updates:

Mace, while bitching about games, has just started me on a 5,000,000 point allied attack(HIM) against 1 volkstrum squad armed with walkers and flintlocks(ME). Can't wait to see how this one turns out.

Goanna is still kicking my arse. The only joy I have left is betting on which of my AFV's blows up next.

Moriarty and I are still trapped in this hellish world of Berli's creation. They are both gamey bastages, one for making it, the other for making me play it.

Elvis and I are still playing Meeks saturday night smackdown scenario. Kind of morbid in that "how many guys can I manage to kill this turn?" kind of way.

Tome updates:

Speedy-win

OGSF-loss

Panzerleader-win

jshandorf-loss

Marlow-win

OGSF-loss

mensch-win

peternz-forfit

Geier-win

peternz-forfit

I have also finally put the names in order so they are easier to find.

I have also added a MIA section for those knights that have just umm..vanished.

list is

Germanboy

Hakko Ichiu

Croda

Phillies phan

Babra

Chupacabra

Nijis

Kitty

Peternz

GiTom

GiJim

Meeks

I'll leave it upto you guys to decide whether any of these should be taken off the MIA roster. Cause I have no idea to know who is actualy playing who. Who might be on deployment ect...

Lorak the loathed

[BFCElvis]

From what I understand Germanboy is not actually playing CM these days...but he is DEEPLY invovled in CMMC. Plus I have seen him post from time to time in the outer boards.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

What he (Roosevelt) actually said was: "Walk softly so as to leave the house without waking anyone up, and then let's go find some bloody Australians to kick the ****e out of."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Of course, his (Roosevelt's) geography wasn't that good and he mistook Mexico for Australia.

Mace

[BFCElvis]

OK..There has been no reply to my earlier question so I will make my statement now anyway.

In my Blood Hamster game I am starting by performing what some people might consider a gamey move. I will not go into the details yet as the Lizardgirl may not be aware of it yet and don't want to blow FOW. When I do announce it I will also provide my tactical non gamey reasons for using the tactics that I have chosen. IF this battle is not set up as I anticipate then I could be shooting myself in the foot anyway...but I suspect that is not the case.

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Ah, this reminds me that I have neglected to report my recent topplement of the Mad Scot Bastarrrrd.

Despite my bet efforts, I was not able to remove Sir Alphabet's vermin from two of four minor VLs; however, his loss of two devil hetzers, two Panthers, and FOUR Flak-truck-thingys-from-hell managed to tip the score to the good guys. A minor victory of 60 something to 30 something.

Marlow Whupper

OBGYN Whuppee

[ 08-01-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah fail sae used.