Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread

[Buzzsaw]

MrSpkr

Ha! I guess that shows where you rank on the totem pole. The best you can do is try to scare up Lars? He is worthless piece of wet phlegm who makes coherent posts about as often as MrPeng and rarely has the courage to actually email turns. Face it, MrSpkr, you don’t even command the respect of real squires, and are pretty much here to lick the boots of the other knights.

I really want to get back to this point of your being a “legal professional”. When did the good people of Waxahachie step outside of their revival tents long enough to legalize “professionals” such as yourself? And when did their recreational habits change from bingo and Tupperware parties to seeking carnal pleasures from carnival freaks? Something is rotten in Texas, and it isn’t just that pee in bottle called Lone Star beer or the pile of corpses outside your state correctional facility.

[Buzzsaw]

Lars

I have updated my profile so that you will not embarrass yourself again by appearing to believe that I am actually a Capybara rancher. (Although it just now occurs to me that no one would willing admit that they came from a place called Waxahachie....)

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe Shaw originally grovelled:

Exactly my point Berli, we, fellow Knights of the CessPool, are lackeys to do the wishes of the Old Ones<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

'bout time you saw the light.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Berli deliberately misquoted me as saying: Exactly my point Berli, we, fellow Knights of the CessPool, are lackeys to do the wishes of the Old Ones ... then added this: 'bout time you saw the light. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Berli, a TRUE Old One wouldn't have to stoop to misquotes ... he would use the original quote AS IS and THEN twist the meaning to suit his purposes ... Seanachai wouldn't NEED to lie ... but then he's a LEGITIMATE Old One.

Joe

[Simon Fox]

Denizens of the pool I wish to express my heartfelt gratitude for this great hon.....

Damn no, I just can't go on. I thought a bit of reverse psychology might do the trick but the pretence just couldn't be maintained. Mouselike effusiveness cannot be sustained by the normal.

Well I must say I am taken aback (deliberate omission of hackneyed aside) by this turn of events. I wonder what disservice I have rendered to Seanachi that he should attempt to belittle me with a title of such dubious worth, somewhat akin to the bestowal of an honorary doctorate from Enid Blyton University I would think. My vision of him as a rather inocuous windbag possessed of startling tactical incompetence is altered by this viscious and cowardly attack. It is not inconceivable, given his general erratic demeanour, that he actually means well by it but that MarkIV bloke has the rights of it. Though I don't recall having read one of his posts before, has he been around long? Anyway when he pointed out the overwhelming negative aspects of it from my point of view I knew things would take a turn for the worse. Predictably the quiescent fossils roused themselves from dormancy and in a spirit of pissing off both the newcomers and myself croaked their acquiescence. Even beryl's unsubtle mind managed to grasp the backhandedness of the concept when it was pointed out to him and seized upon it as furthering the ill-fitting malevolent persona he has adopted. How easy that was for him is clear when one considers how through the ages the retarded have been demonised.

Thankfully shaw can always be relied upon to jealously defend the exclusivity of his botched life's solitary achievment. It was almost worth it just to imagine the woebegone expression on his hirsute visage as his precious hierachy was threatened by "queue jumpers". Almost, but not quite. The man is the very antithesis of well-adjusted, psychologists may talk of "overcompensation" but they will flock to see it personified in shaw.

It has been suggested to me before that with my tendency to 'stir' I might enjoy visting the pool more often to torment the denizens, but I am morally adverse to brutality to the lower forms of life, even bogans like stuka. Certainly I participated in lambasting sspanzerleader whose sooking and irritating insistence on treating the trivial with extreme seriousness earned plenty of ridicule. Of course peng took that to an entirely different, but not higher, plane. But I did not participate in the original thread for two reasons:

1) In it's original guise it was principally for the taunting of opponents over their games. While I am not adverse to a good 'barney' that is entirely seperate from my modus operandi when playing CM which generally does not include beating my chest (that shandorf fellow really is distasteful isn't he?) nor crowing at their misfortune. It seems to me that that sort of thing was so american.

2) peng, the homo neanderthalus of wit was active in it

Recently, I have come to reconsider reason 1 and it was that "stars" tourney thingy that did it. If one could administer a cruel and methodical dismemberment of an opponents psyche in the guise of a "critique" of their performance, well a whole new vista of possibilities would open up. One could remain entirely civilised, protesting ones beneficial intent, "I was merely trying to help you". All in the face of your opponents battered ego, desperate justification and general sooking. Damn, you could even come out of it as the wronged party, take the high morale ground so to speak. Oh yes! Your opponent would merely look like a sore loser. Just brilliant. Not only that but any kind of cheating gamey method you used when picking your force would be obscured, swept under the carpet so to speak. That's just the kind of absolute cunningness that appeals to me.

Lorak, really is that name supposed to be some sort of joke upon yourself? A more unelfin visage could scarcely be imagined. For god sake man do somefink!

official cesspool grog eh? Should I embolden it and place it in my sig? To trumpet its' hollowness around the forum? Should I put it above the hymn of the double reds currently residing there? A tribute to the men of the 2/2 Independant Company murdered by the Japanese in Feb 1942 and their comrades who wreaked a bitter revenge upon the Japanese.

I think not.

[ 07-31-2001: Message edited by: Simon Fox ]

[MrSpkr]

Squire Lars, I am so glad you are of service. It appears I have tracked that nasty slime in on my new carpet. Please take care of it before I get back.

I have left a bottle of . . . oh crud. All out. Well, looks like I'll have to get one out of storage. Look for it by tomorrow evening (my time).

Oh, and don't forget the okra I promised your leige. You'll find it in the kitchen . . . yess, that's it, next to the nearly empty bottle of salt peter. What's that? No, no, of course I wouldn't do that -- it's just a coincidence, I promise. Go ahead, try a bite -- it tastes just fine.

Trust me.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Simon Fox, Official CessPool Grog, reintroduced himself (well, in part, I see why Seanachai wanted him here, he's the only one more longwinded than the Faux Irishman): official cesspool grog eh? Should I embolden it and place it in my sig? To trumpet it?s hollowness around the forum?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My dear Official CessPool Grog the esteemed Simon Fox, no need to trouble yourself over that trivial task, I envision the denizens of the CessPool actively searching for your posts on the outerboards and supporting your position by reminding EVERYONE of your new and illustrious position. We are confident that, having been thus identified, even LoserName will fall silent before the weight of your credentials.

Joe

p.s. Ple?se forgi?e me? for incor?ec? punc?uation in th? a?ove ?ost.

[ 07-31-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Simon Fox:

Long winded rant but essentially "Woot! I'm a Cesspooler!"

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[imported_Wildman]

As I reread this completely abhorant post of this craven coward, (the now unbolded) Shaw, I was agast that none of the Old Ones took notice. Well, I never expected Peng to notice in his druken stupor, but I expected better of Seanachaiand Berli.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The evidence of Shaw's unbelievable behavior is below: That's right PShaw you bilious bloated ungulate carcass on the side of the road. By erasing and WRITING my name in that book of yours you have called down the Army of Peng upon your fat ugly head. It is a blood hamster at 50 paces. A texas chainlinked-buzzsawcagedanimal-deathmatchfromhell. You are a raw dog stuffed with bugs and I am a hungry vulture. Select a third party to purchase our troops, maggot-boy. I await your cowardly response<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

To wit the coward answered:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I reject your Blood Hamster and choose a Standard Game instead.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This from the great holder of Pool tradition the pathetic and wastral Shaw. How can one Knight, and a senior one at that, deny the call of the Blood Hamster?

It time to hoist that mongral Shaw on his own petard. I call upon the Old Ones and Lord Lorak to pass judgement on this pathetic swine. A knight cannot deny a Blood Hamster match, beside I'm curious to see of Shaw will keep his mantra of "winning is bad, when the sig file is on the line".

I await your decision.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Simon Fox:

Denizens of the pool... (that shandorf fellow really is distasteful isn't he?) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

See? I told you he'd work out. What an utter cad. My Stahlhelm is off to him. This guy makes Geier look like Jane Fonda, though of course Janie has mastered basic Windows concepts by now (save often. reinstall often. buy upgrades often. I mean, how simple can it get?). By the time poor Geier figures it out, Brits will be using Pershings for recon. Assuming they have any crews left. Ahem.

'Long as I've got the mike, let me say that Wildman is a stinking piece of dung, as opposed to my recent, rather rosy, assessment of him as a mere target. If he was going to shoot back he should have said so in the pre-game conference. This violation of trust shall not go unpunished.

Seanachai: your apology, if that's what it was, was a flapping headless chicken of a post. I trust your charge found it instructional. The rest of us are in awe, more at the sheer volume of the barrage than at its precision or destructive power. But it seems you have earned a place on the dance card, long overdue, and if the telephone book on the seat of your Kelterwoerterwerferwagen allows you to see over the dashboard long enough to send a setup, it shall be entertained. See you in the woods; this time, you bring the rashers, and I'll bring the Grill.

[Joe Shaw]

Wildman ... do TRY not to be an idiot, I know it'll be a stretch for you but give it a shot. This is NOT some ladder or Grog dominated competition ... Knights of the CessPool play WHOM THEY CHOOSE WHEN THEY CHOOSE AND HOW THEY CHOOSE. It is most certainly NOT up to the likes of YOU to decide the rules for the CessPool.

I rejected MrPeng's Blood Hamster match ... because I COULD and because it would annoy him. I could just as easily have rejected the game entirely due to the number of games I was playing.

Now go pretend that you're important ... somewhere else.

Joe

[JonS]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Simon Fox:

Blah-blah-de-blah-blah-blah.

[ 07-31-2001: Message edited by: Simon Fox ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that you have that off your pigeon-like chest, where's my turn, you ... you ... you ... oh, words fail me! Get on to it, and send it over. And not by Kangaroo Express this time, either.

Impatiently

JonS

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

By the time poor Geier figures it out, Brits will be using Pershings for recon. Assuming they have any crews left. Ahem.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And assuming you even had the slightest clue what recon was,is or should be, Mr-I-Always-Lead-With-Tanks. You will be pleased to know that I have indeedy-deedy grasped everything I need and will commence slaughtering your troops later tonight. I doubt I will be looking to reinstall Win2K anytime the next 500 years, so far, WinME has actually managed to find all my hardware and install it. Amazing but true.

And no one can make me look like Jane Fonda. 'Specially not someone needing 817 lines to write "Woot! I finally made the grade!" I'm more of a Lucretia Borgia kinda girl.

Since you were so kind as to remove your stahlheim allow me to smack you vigorously on the head.

Berli old boy. Would you be so kind and resend the last turn? Seems it didn't survive the last tactical retreat.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Wildman ... do TRY not to be an idiot, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Joe, Joe, Joe........why can't you ever get it right - even just a simple sentence like this is obviously a bit too complicated for your poor little brain.

But as the world's greatest Dick Tater I feel the need to at least try to bring you up to speed - try this next time:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Wildman ... do not TRY to be an idiot, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And then you can follow up with a nice wee ditty like "you do so well at it au naturale"...etc.

Got it?

No?

Why doesn't that surprise me!

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Mace, get off that RAT, they breed fast enough!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I have many perversio….err…. passions, rats aren’t one of them.

In fact, never will I be observed on a rat. In fact, I draw the line on rats, which is really hard because the wee little buggers keep moving.

Now for penance send me any photos of the B25J, pengdammit!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Simon Fox:

even bogans like stuka. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

BOGAN??? scaw!!!

The is perhaps the most brutal insult ever to be uttered to another Aussie cesspooler I have ever witnessed. It is only surpassed by being called a Pommie!

Mace

[ 07-31-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Geier, you smelly Swede, if you like old crates like Neuports, I have your photo.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Newps!!! You dare showing up with piccies of poxy Nieups? No doubt the lethal N28 since that death trap was mostly assigned to American squads by The French to keep their death rates up. If it is a N17 or N24/23 I'll forgive you. It is a single seater isn't it?

Speaking of The French, they gave me a good offer for a game of "Into the East" so you're off on that one.

No, stop sobbing. Here is what we will do, we'll play "The Kall Trail" by Moon instead. I'll get the Allies since:

Best played as: Head-to-head or American vs. German AI; mind you, this is not an easy victory as the Allies, especially in head-to-head.

Read all about it atMoons page If you've already played it, say so. Nothing but double-blind will do.

A setup will find you sometime tomorrow. No, you're not very important.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Berli, a TRUE Old One wouldn't have to stoop to misquotes ... he would use the original quote AS IS and THEN twist the meaning to suit his purposes ... Seanachai wouldn't NEED to lie ... but then he's a LEGITIMATE Old One.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Joe, Joe, Joe, I didn't misquote you. I mearly edited your post to make you seem less of an idiot. I was doing you a service, don't you see?

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Simon Fox posted thusly:

My vision of him as a rather inocuous windbag possessed of startling tactical incompetence<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Best damned description of seanachai I've seen in a long time

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>in a spirit of pissing off both the newcomers and myself<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Brighter than he seems

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>(that shandorf fellow really is distasteful isn't he?)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Definitely brighter than he seems

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>If one could administer a cruel and methodical dismemberment of an opponents psyche in the guise of a "critique" of their performance, well a whole new vista of possibilities would open up. One could remain entirely civilised, protesting ones beneficial intent, "I was merely trying to help you". All in the face of your opponents battered ego, desperate justification and general sooking. Damn, you could even come out of it as the wronged party, take the high morale ground so to speak. Oh yes! Your opponent would merely look like a sore loser. Just brilliant. Not only that but any kind of cheating gamey method you used when picking your force would be obscured, swept under the carpet so to speak. That's just the kind of absolute cunningness that appeals to me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

One of the two secrets of the MBT... the other being the joy of standing here and looking in on the denizens of the monkey cage that is the outer board and laughing at their antics (SMG threads anyone?), and of course poking fun at the more obnoxious members of said cage

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo:

Alright, alright, which it? Mr. Tinkles or Mr. Tickles?

I understand this is all made up as we go along, and that this is a morass of inhumanity, but really, one would hope a Washington-Lawyer-Type could at least dot the proper I's and cross the proper T's. This is the whole reason our country, and this board as a loose, hallucinogenic, and distorted reflection of such, has gone into the crapper. Where is the constancy? Where is the uniformity? More importantly, where are the girls and alcohol?

You've got some 'splainin' to do, Lawyer-Boy, as you represent that incompetent class of barristers that have manifested themselves upon the MBT!

Kill the Lawyers!

Kill the Lawyers!

Kill the Lawyers!

Kill the Lawyers!

Now, to you specifically (and to lawyers in general), piss off and get your briefs in order (down bauhaus)!

[ 07-30-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The correct title for Joe Shaw is Mr. Tinkles, although Mace may prefer to use Mr. Tickles due to his strange tastes in personal relations.

So you passed my clever test to see if anyone in Oregon can read and recognize word associations. Your prize is a nasty envelope of "ill wind" that shall be mailed to your local communal outhouse for you to share with the other lost hippies. At least you know what to do with the newspaper there, or maybe you don't.

Nothing like spending the day sharing a three-holer with yer buds, eh Flea-O? BTW, the "three-holer" reference is to the crapper, not the communal "lady".

And may I be the first to point out, Leeo-Fleeo, that by a cruel stroke of geography, you are actually much closer to Mr. Tinkles than I am. Providence has indeed been kind to me at your expense.

Which is entirely as it should be, since I am a Lawyer. And you are not. Regarding the quality of my advice to you, remember that you get what you pay for. And I don't accept yer gub'ment food stamps either.

I certainly don't trust any man playing CM who lists his wife as his first interest. Pull yer Pendleton over yer brain potty, cover yer butt with knitted dingleberries, and send me a setup if you think you have a chance against the Infamous Hands of the Law.

Oh, and move down to California where gits like you belong...

[David Aitken]

Here is a thread started by a certain Mr Jeff Heidman to complain about haltracks being too vulnerable. I believe the game was subsequently changed as a result of this or similar complaints.

Are half tracks TOO vulnerable?

Here is a thread started by a certain Mr Jeff Heidman to complain about halftracks being invulnerable. I accepted his self-righteousness over the issue until I realised that he may be partly responsible for causing it.

I hate to say this, but I think I found a bug... A BIG bug...

[Sledge59]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

But as the world's greatest Dick Tater I feel the need to at least try to bring you up to speed <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That just rips it. The murderer Stalin killed more Ukrainians than Hitler killed Jews. You laud his name like he was some sort of hero. He makes the most infamous serial killers look like pansies. My wife is Ukrainian. Send me a setup you poor excuse for a penis. I really want to know if you are truly deranged or just suffer from an extremely sick sense of humor.

[Marlow]

I don't think there is a problem with infantry killing halftracks. Just ask Shandorf about the three I got last turn. wOOt.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

blah blah blah grog stuff blah blah blah<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

David, I know living on that hellish island you call home must be demoralizing and disconcerting, but I never though it would drive you to reviewing threads that haven't been posted to for over a year in one case and nearly six months in the other.

Aren't there any women or bars near your home?

You sad, strange little man. You have my pity.

Berli:

You have time to whine and moan about Seanachai and Joe Shaw, but you don't have time to send a turn in our battle? Come now, sirrah, it is time for you to resume our struggle, and to Die-A-Lot with whatever honor you can muster.

Updates to come later when I have more time.

[edited to remind Berli to SEND A FRIGGIN' TURN!]

[ 07-31-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sledge59:

...natters like a woman...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ya' know, the last time a carpenter showed up around here, Berli had him nailed to a tree.

We've got more trees.

Bugger off.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Berli:

You have time to whine and moan about Seanachai and Joe Shaw, but you don't have time to send a turn in our battle? Come now, sirrah, it is time for you to resume our struggle, and to Die-A-Lot with whatever honor you can muster.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why, yes I do have time on my hands. I sent you a file on the 21st and haven't heard from you since. Want a file? Gotta send a file. That's the way the whole system works. So, if you don't mind pulling your head outta your ass for a bit and send me a file, I will gladly send you one.

Small enough words for ya?

[ 07-31-2001: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]