Seanachai Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by rleete: I'm here, O loud drunken one. Now, just what the hell do you want? Bow before me. And wish Lars well, monkey! Man, you guys really need me. Otherwise, you're just yourselves, aren't you? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 I bow to no one. I kneel before no king. But if you pay me enough, I'll dance through hoops wearing thorns on my dangly bits. Lars, you dolt. No idea what you're doing, eh? I curse you: have kids! P.S. MrPeng, belated condolences on the loss of your friend. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Citizens of the Cesspool! Just in case some of you are unaware (a natural state for most of you), this is an official announcement that the Cesspool is currently under bombardment (I'm going to pun hell for that one). You are advised to report immidiately to the nearest bombshelter and cower there until the idjit sobers up, quitens down and finally rolls away to bed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by v42below: You are advised to report immidiately to the nearest bombshelter and cower there until the idjit sobers up, quitens down and finally rolls away to bed. I've been on and posting constantly since 7 AM this morning, you fecking Emigre bastard. For most of that time, I've been a perfect, parfait Knight. I'm a bit concerned about that last bit, because it seems to indicate something rather disturbing concerning dessert. But even if I'm mixed with cream, eggs, sugar, and served in a tall glass, I'm still more of a man than you lot will ever be! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by rleete: I bow to no one. I kneel before no king. Nor should you. Nae King, Nae Queen, Nae Lords, Nae Masters! We will nae be fooled agin! But for an annoying tosser like you, I think that running your tongue over the arch of my foot would simply be a symbol of how much you realize that you're a complete and utter idjit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Which is exactly why it will never happen. And stop fantasizing about it; it gives me the willies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for I have spoken, I have nourished and brought thee up as children, and thou hast rebelled against me. The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master's crib: but the Cesspool doth not know, my people doth not consider. Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken Me, they have provoked the Olde Ones of the Cesspool unto anger, they are gone away backward. Why should ye be stricken any more? Ye will revolt more and more: the whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint. From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment. . This concludes our 'chosen totally at random' passage of the day. You are a generation of vipers. Of vipers, I say! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 [... and from the grim depths of a snow-infested paddock something small and rubbery has been dressed in a delicate bridal gown and carefully placed atop a pristine snowdrift. And behind its veil it seems a very fat red crayon has gone amok with the lipstick detailing...] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 And that's enough out of you, you bugger! Pull your last bit of thistle out of whatever stomach it's been fermenting in, and be quiet! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Happy birthday, Lady Moraine. A good week for it, wouldn't you say? Steve 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 [... and from behind the shed that most rare of rare earthly sights; a donkey at haste. Nasal flaps aflare and haunches at full swing it accelerates to a brisk canter, eyes fixing on its intended bride.] *honkety-honkety-hooooooooooooooonk* [... and at optimum speed forelimbs are tucked carefully underneath chest, hindlimbs spread rearwards, ears pressed back to head, neck strained to the heavens and tail gently fluttering for accurate inflight adjustments. A donkey is launched... God speed all those that sail in it] *HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNK* [... and as gravity takes hold of a prime ton of equine beast a large shadow begins to engulf the bridal boon, oblivious to the impending marital consummation] I DO, I DO, I DO... HOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK *splat* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 23, 2005 Author Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Do I have license to mount now? Yes but just be gentle with your hand, and watch out for calluses because they can ruin your whole day. Mace 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 23, 2005 Author Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rune: Rune Gods. Don't you just hate Rune? Does anyone not hate Rune? Man, I hate Rune. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 23, 2005 Author Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: You are a generation of vipers. Of vipers, I say! Can I be a taipan? I have my heart set on being a taipan! Please! Let me be a taipan! *whinges* Mace 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 23, 2005 Author Share Posted February 23, 2005 ...and congrats Lars! You're a lucky man, especially as your special lady obviously suffers from beer goggles eyesight 24/7. Mace PS Regardless here's to a long and happy marriage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Phew looks like he has finally passed out we might get a little peace and quiet for awhile. P.S.- Happy Birthday Lady Moraine and commiserations to poor old Lars. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Rejoice, young man, while you are young, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Follow the inclination of your heart and the desire of your eyes, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: But...I could see us doing a Rune scenario by way of celebrating your engagement.... Given the rate that you send turns this may be a long engagement. Hmmm, ok, I'm in. I'll be the trapped groom, you can be the father-in-law with the shotgun. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 PTO-Dien Bien Phu AAR A messianic production Leading Light of the House of (sigh) JD MORSE (sigh), official Peng blessed, disowned, tolerated and then mocked Messiah of the Peng Challenge thread, master of the holy sheep of Peng and blessed stopped clock of the apocalypso Sir 37mm Versus Boo Radley the liege to said 37mm Well, well, well this was the big one. I was fighting MY liege & such a duel would require a suitably great scenario, I found it in the stinking jungles of Vietnam. I would be the deranged hordes of commie Vietnamese. Boo would be the French (try not to snicker). I would all in all control three battalions of troops & about a million artillery shells, Boo would have defences that’d make Verdun look like an easy nut to crack. Initially I had several assault companies in trenches which zigzagged towards the French positions, my assault companies moved off ignoring the HUNDREDS of French machine guns that began cutting into them. In return my own machine guns began to spew out lead, followed by my many AT-rifles. The rifles quickly put several pillboxes out of action but after that I don’t think they knocked out another pillbox during the entire battle. Then the barrage began! Which I quickly cancelled as it didn’t seem to be doing buggar all (after the battle I discovered I’d knocked out some mortars but that is hardly worth the hundreds of shells which I’d fired). My artillery was not powerful enough to do much to Boo’s Frenchies so I’d have to smoke ‘em out instead. I began the first assault on my right flank… after several turns of smoke the first assault platoons went over the top! And were promptly cut down, the smoke dissipated as soon as the men had reached the gaps in the wire; all in all rather poor timing on my part… sorry commies. It was now that another battalion arrived to the ‘rear’ of Boo’s positions… actually what they found was a powerful defence network of trenches, pillboxes & HUGE artillery shells. A lot of commies died here. Still I had an ace in the hole… tunnelling commies! The crafty buggars had been digging for days & now they were ready to strike into the heart of Boo’s forces. Unfortunately I wasn’t ready for them… if I’d have known when they were meant to arrive maybe I could have dropped smoke for them. As it was the surprise attack was surrounded on all sides by superior firepower & shot to pieces. A lot of commies died here, though they did manage to take out some pillboxes. My next attack was going to be a central ‘push’ supported by as much smoke as I could raise (or drop). The lead units hurtled through the gaps in the wire & ran up to the enemy trenches, as they neared Boo’s men began to fire & a lot of commies started to buy it. But I had more commies than Boo had bullets! The men kept on coming through the smoke & began reaching the trenches, grenades were hurled, SMG’s ripped open guts, bayonets were thrust into painful orifices & still my men poured forth! Boo’s front line had been pierced… but the smoke began to clear & then the commies started dying! It became apparent now that Boo’s defences were far, far deeper than I’d realised. I’d broken through one set of trenches just to encounter another PLUS a whole bunch of extra bunkers! I ordered my troops in the centre to engage enemy targets in firefights, and with the aid of a few surviving tunnellers these troops did manage to take out several MG’s & a bunker. This however was a side show as I’d already ordered my next ‘big push’. It was to be a right flank attack on not one but two trench systems! Once again the smoke rounds flew, this time half the battlefield was covered in a thick concealing fog. Several assault companies went over the top & headed for the wire. A lot of commies died! The experiences of one squad exemplify the ‘fighting’ on this sector. Commissar Franz (which we always though was a very un-Vietnamese name) drove us forward with words of courage & bravery & initially it seemed like it’d be easy to achieve what he asked. But then the capitalist, imperialist dogs began firing and our men began falling. But we had sworn to all of us take the objectives or none of us to take them. We picked up the bodies of our fallen comrades & dragged them forward. When one of us fell, another immediately picked us up & together, ALL of us together we dove into the enemy trenches Boo’s forward defences over most of the battlefield had now been breached but this didn't seem to have diminished his firepower! Gun fights now raged on every sector, I let this continue with no further assaults ordered. Why? I wasn’t losing that many casualties & it seemed an easy way of 'spending' Boo’s ammo (including mortar ammo)… During these turns further battalions were brought up the assault trenches… in particular an infiltrating assault company sneaked up to the enemy left flank. My probes on the ‘rear’ were also pressed more aggressively, these often engaged Boo’s reinforcements including an enemy light tank (a Chafee). Boo lost a whole bunch of mortars & MG’s here, but I lost more. With only a few turns left to go I ordered the final push to total victory! I personally spoke to every man, wished them well, gave them a little red commie flag (who needed bullets if you had flags!) and a manly slap on the back. A lot of men were thirsty, I told them that French blood would have to suffice! The remaining artillery batteries opened fire, once more smoke enveloped the battlefield and once more men left the safety of their trenches! And once more a lot of commies began to die! My first attack was going to be on the WHOLE of the enemy left & centre-left sectors however I needed more men so I decided on a risky plan. I’d ordered two whole platoons to move from one side of the battlefield to the other… over open ground! The good news is that many men made it, the bad news is that many didn’t (primarily thanks to Boo’s own artillery) & those that did were so delayed they played no further part in the battle anyway. Despite this set back the attack on the left went almost completely to plan, Boo’s remaining front line was totally wiped out & once again large numbers of firefights raged with the second echelon defenders. The centre-left attack met much more intense resistance, few troops reached the trenches & as the smoke cleared an intense short range fire fight developed (luckily the attackers could take cover in shell holes & amongst large patches of scrubland)… many commies died but eventually the defenders were driven off. Meanwhile I had ordered an attack on the right most sector. Under cover of a huge smoke blanket several shattered platoons went over the top. They reached the trenches and received little flanking fire (the advance route bypassed an enemy position) but once the smoke cleared the men were met with a vicious circle of fire, still the men drove out the equally shattered defenders, took the objective & attacked the last remaining bunker… or did they take the objective? No and thanks to that fecking bunker… the Frenchies wouldn’t surrender (who’s ever heard of such a thing?) & that was enough to make the objective contested DAMN! As the right most objective was taken (or not), the enemy left flank broke apart. An avalanche of Vietnamese protected by the last dregs of smoke took all objectives, bagged large numbers of prisoners & finally defeated the last stubborn remnants of fight. Advances were made on all sectors including a successful attack on the enemies ‘rear’ (although it was also on the left) apart from the dead centre in which the enemy Chafee proved to be a painful thorn in my plans. The battle ended with me suffering the staggering total of 863 casualties… this was way more casualties than Boo had amassed and was enough to grant me the moral victory. Still I suppose Boo’s forces (not thanks to any great help from him, of course) had managed to get their secular 'victory' but only because of that damned French bunker which just wouldn’t surrender (I mean who’s ever heard of cheese-eating ‘fight to the death’ monkeys?). This was a most Pengful scenario & I recommend it to anyone (except the false gawd Seanachai he can go feck himself & play his rune 'scenarios' instead) [ February 23, 2005, 09:40 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Seanachai, don't pout. It isn't becomming. And, to tell the truth, if we didn't rebell against you, you'd not love us all so much. 37mm, nice AAR. Yeknodathon, you are beginning to frighten me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 37mm excellent AAR, too bad you weren't in charge back in 1954....might have saved me a trip to clean up that Frog mess. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 You were in Viet Nam in 1954? Man, you're old. And OF COURSE my former Squire's AAR is excellent! Who do you think taught him? My favorite part is the 4148 points I got for enemy casualties. I tell you, faux Nazi Commies were dropping faster than Seanachai after a half dozen 3.2 beers. It was beautiful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by Boo Radley: You were in Viet Nam in 1954? Man, you're old. And OF COURSE my former Squire's AAR is excellent! Who do you think taught him? My favorite part is the 4148 points I got for enemy casualties. I tell you, faux Nazi Commies were dropping faster than Seanachai after a half dozen 3.2 beers. It was beautiful. NO!! the Dien Bien Phu battle was in 1954 you brainless twit!! You taught him???....you never taught me anything...I'm sad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stikkypixie Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by Nidan1: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: You were in Viet Nam in 1954? Man, you're old. And OF COURSE my former Squire's AAR is excellent! Who do you think taught him? My favorite part is the 4148 points I got for enemy casualties. I tell you, faux Nazi Commies were dropping faster than Seanachai after a half dozen 3.2 beers. It was beautiful. NO!! the Dien Bien Phu battle was in 1954 you brainless twit!! You taught him???....you never taught me anything...I'm sad. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 stikkypixie , you lout of a Squire!!!, I demand you write an AAR after the completion of out latest battle...in it you will glorify my abilities to command, you will relate how you faced such an impossible task that you would rather commit ritual suicide than face me on the battlefield. You will include glorious pictures of my tactical prowess...you will do all this and more lad, if you know what's good for you!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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