The Peng challenge, a thread that will live in infamy

[BFCElvis]

There are many ways to play CM. Yesterday I played it the best way possible. Here is my list of ways to play CM from worst to best(understnd none are bad):

Against the AI

PBEM

Hotseat

TCP/IP

and the best way to play.....

TCP/IP via direct link.

Peng was over my home helping to move some furniture yesterday. He brought along his laptop and his magic wire....laying TCP/IP in the same room is unbelievable. The taunting takes on a whole new level. And when you are haring him PC and reaction to a vehicle blowing up or a building. What a riot. I won of course because I am currently unbeatable.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>From the mad Scotsman on the Outerboards:

Manx, a top site - well laid out and tons of content. Thanks for making the effort!!

Whilst we would like all content everywhere to be spot on all the time, it isn't going to happen. We all do the best we can do.

If a "newbie" to WWII history should pick up some incorrect info from one of the contributors to your site, oh well. Learned and published historians and (possibly) even grogs get it wrong some times. For example, many WWII historians will argue that Operation Barbarossa failed because it was delayed while Hitler bailed Mussolini out of Greece. According to Keegan that just isn't so, Hitler had to wait for the spring thaw to finish before Barbarossa got underway, Greece was a done deal before then.

So do what you want to do, and know that I am one of presumably many who frequent your site and appreciate it's existence.

Cheers,

OGSF

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What is this absurd accent? I can hardly make out what you are saying! It almost sounds...grogish! Away evil spirits...

Speedbump

[Speedbump]

Okay, which one of you evil bastiges entered me into the tournament over at theBlitz?!? I wake up this morning to setups in my email and instructions for the tournament! Now I know that a proper Pooler (please note dorf and Spnker) would never voluntarily enter a tournament {shudder}. Now I am faced with a dilemma...all I wanted to be was a low profile Kanigget.

Tournaments for cryin' out loud....

Speedbump

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

Peng was over my home he brought along his magic wire....laying in the same room is unbelievable. What a riot. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's enough information I ever need.. *eeew* and I thought mace was strange.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

Now I know that a proper Pooler (please note dorf and Spnker) would never voluntarily enter a tournament {shudder}.

Speedbump<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Tsk, tsk, tsk, Mr. Bump - a true Pooler will go to great lengths to obtain FREE booze -- even stooping to enter a tournament.

Now, if you ahve time to let this worry your miniscule brain, you have time to send back a turn (or at least, imagine the multiple ways I am going to kill you -- all slow and painful, of course).

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Tsk, tsk, tsk, Mr. Bump - a true Pooler will go to great lengths to obtain FREE booze -- even stooping to enter a tournament.

Now, if you ahve time to let this worry your miniscule brain, you have time to send back a turn (or at least, imagine the multiple ways I am going to kill you -- all slow and painful, of course).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, Spnkr, some of us just buy the damn stuff! Amazing how far $5 can go...

I will send the turn when my poor pensioners regain their breath after running 100 feet. And after my pre-adolescent H-youth stop tripping over their feet.

Speedbump

[bauhaus]

Claymore you wanker, stay out of the MBT. Ya gamey little bastich.

[Panzer Leader]

A five dollar bottle of wine, yum.

Will it be Strawberry Hill or Bartles & James. Oh, you were talking about wine COOLERS, that explains everything...

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Finally, now that he is losing rather badly, shandorf can't seem to stop whining about how horrible the scenario we are playing is. Hmmm. It probably has nothing to do with the fact that he (1) didn't scout the village before attacking; (2) divided his forces into three parts, none of which are in any position to support each other; or (3) his flagrant disregard for anything approaching decent tactics.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Two conscript squads my ass. You have a company of Inf WITH 1 or possibly two artillery spotters. Probably 81mm and 120mm.

I am positive about the 81mm spotter, but I would have to go back and check out the movie for the 120mm spotter.

I have 3 platoons for paratroops and 1x 105mm spotter.

And you know what I say to that?

Whoptie-f*cking-doo.

What an utterly uninspiring scenario. It about as flat and boring as the first girl you probably slept with, I would gamble. What a canned piece of crap. I shouldn't have expect any better from some smelly ASL shut-in. Sheesh.

Come to think of it....you have to be right up there in the top 5 of "The Lamest Opponents I Have Played", and trust me...I have played some lame opponents. At this point I would rather play Dalem than you again. Atleast he takes it on the chin like a man and doesn't send me canned crap straight from some "awesome" ASL conversion that gaurantees himself a win. You wussy.

Besides... This game is meaningless and I am giving it about as much attention as a crack baby gets from his strung out mother joansing for another score. I can't wait until I had your ass to you in our little tournament game you have ignored my calls for us to play. Just die.

Anyway.... on a lighter note.

GAME UPDATES

Oh, WOW! My game with Berli has been a pendulum of emotions. On the second turn it looked like Berli was handing me my ass on a silver platter with his "Tank and Enginering squad rush" across the bridge. Which practically obliterrated a platoon of PanzerGrenadiers I had sent forward, but alas it was not to be... Berli's little tank convoy got backed up and he oh so predictably tried to back them out. Little did he know I had a Panther watching the cross angle on the bride.. oh and lets not forget the two platoons I had nearby for the couter attack I was planning to throw since the beginning. MUahahahahah! It is now turn 4, or is it 5? And ALL of Berli's tanks are dead. Count 'em... five tanks. 1x 76mm, 1x Croc, and 3x vanilla M4s. Looking pretty grim....

Okay.. for my other tourney game against Mick the depraved Aussie. This are going slow. We are playing this map with a freaking HUGE hill in the center which pretty much blocks us from seeing each other. The flags are smack dab on the top so I have been playing it safe so far. While Micky boy decided we wanted to march a couple squads up on the hill. Needless to say they didn't appreciate the 105mm VT arty that came in a turn later.

Fancy Lad He is throwin himself into this one like a veteran stripper hits her pole, with fury and a death grip. Too bad it has done nothing but cause him casualties. In my time of playing I have discovered that it is the desperate man that targets houses as a way to destroy infantry. Not that I blame him... Just noting he is desperate...

Seanchai this one is over he just doesn't know it yet.

Peng Could I possible hold more pity for man and his tactics. He is the only opponent I shake my head in sadness as I target his exposed infantry with my spotters. Tis a sad, sad thing.

Marlow Heeeeeey, it haven't got a turn back form this slimey bastard in while. Must be pissed off at me for purchasing Tigers again.. Hey! I stayed historical.. I bought SS infantry.

Piss off,

Jeff

[Terence]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

Gaaaah. Monday. Tired. Need more meth.

UPDATES

Terence dying like a good little ssn. Was going to tell Lorak to make him serf, but hasn't been around forever. Will have him killed. Maybe flayed.

Agua Perdido<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahh. I was on vacation in glorious Utah.

Never been?

Think of a remake of the Stepford Wives, but with mountains and many many many churches.

Good thing I went through depraved Vegas on the way there and back.

And I think I'll point out that yes, you may indeed have picked off a few of my smaller, more insignificant units, but you have given away the locations of all your guns in doing so. One of them is already useless scrap, picked off by the very 60mm mortar you were whining about so recently.

Prepare to be gutted like a fish, or impaled like a crumpet.

Nyah ha ha,

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Two conscript squads my ass. You have a company of Inf WITH 1 or possibly two artillery spotters. Probably 81mm and 120mm.

I am positive about the 81mm spotter, but I would have to go back and check out the movie for the 120mm spotter.

I have 3 platoons for paratroops and 1x 105mm spotter.

And you know what I say to that?

Whoptie-f*cking-doo.

What an utterly uninspiring scenario. It about as flat and boring as the first girl you probably slept with, I would gamble. What a canned piece of crap. I shouldn't have expect any better from some smelly ASL shut-in. Sheesh.

Come to think of it....you have to be right up there in the top 5 of "The Lamest Opponents I Have Played", and trust me...I have played some lame opponents. At this point I would rather play Dalem than you again. Atleast he takes it on the chin like a man and doesn't send me canned crap straight from some "awesome" ASL conversion that gaurantees himself a win. You wussy.

Besides... This game is meaningless and I am giving it about as much attention as a crack baby gets from his strung out mother joansing for another score. I can't wait until I had your ass to you in our little tournament game you have ignored my calls for us to play. Just die.

Anyway.... on a lighter note.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

With all due respect (and that is an amount so close to zero that it is being hailed as a new mathematical discovery) - I never said I only had two conscript suqads - I said the village was initially defended by two conscript squads. Your tactically inept analysis of the situation is amusing. Haven't you learned not to divide your forces before an unknown enemy before?

As to artillery observers - no 120mm mortars at all. Only one (yes one) artillery observer for me.

You blew this game (down, bauhaus) the moment you divided your forces and placed them so far apart they couldn't support each other. I notice you didn't start whining until after my two squads of conscript geezers (and, to be fair, their HQ) put paid to an entire platoon of your veteran airborne troops. Is it my fault you acted ineptly? I don't think so.

As for my additional troops - yes, I got early reinforcements - but not very many. Had you stayed concentrated, you would be

doing oh so much better. Too bad you're too dense to understand that -- or maybe it isn't too bad. Maybe it is just . . . amusing.

As for a "guaranteed win" -- I have never won this scenario using the Germans. Ever. Not in the old SL days (ASL is for dweebs - never bought it myself), nor in the CM conversion. I was beginning to think the scenario overly favored the Allies. Thank you for disabusing me of that notion.

As to 'your calls' to play the tournament game - you made a passing reference in one email. Right now, I have four other people in front of you, so you will just have to wait.

If you are so bored with your utterly incompetent use of Allied airborne troops, please feel free to surrender and be done with it.

By the way, if we are doing lists, I have you pegged as the number three on my "All-Time Overrated Idiots" list and number two on my "All Time Lamest Sore Losers Who Whine to Cover Their Own Inadequacies" list.

Cheers!

MrSpkr

[ 07-16-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

I suck. No really, I do. See? (Exposes large wound with huge sucking sound coming from it) This is my hole of suckitude. This is where I suck the greatest.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh.. I just love play 400 point battles.. Oooo...ahhhh...what...fun...

You suck, and I am gonna prove it by clubbin' you like the baby harp seal you are. Oh, you may look all warm, fuzzy and cute, but I much prefer you dead and drug from the back of my truck.

As for the, "Oooo.. I'm too busy to play anther game. My brain hurts." You are playing FOUR games?! You whimp! I have played 15 games in one stint, and won most of them! Maybe the reason I am such a pain in the ass to you is because it is the shortest route to your brain? Hmmm?

Phhhhttt!

Jeff

[Leeo]

Alright, you passel of dimwitted, slack-jawed, rump scratching mouse clickers who posture and primp like the bouncy, trouncy, flouncy Kay-niggets that you are (wait; I guess I'm supposed to be one too)!

UPDATES!

Aitken and I have gotten down to the meat of our river crossing. A platoon of my German lads attempted to join some of his Brits in a picnic situated in a lovely set of woods on a hill, near a VL. Typical for British Hospitality, they killed the lot of my boys, and before they even had a chance to unload the picnic basket. On the other side of the map, thick metal vehicles are exchanging lead greetings in a flurry of activity, during which a couple of his Wolverines and several of my StuGs and PzIV's have decided to spontaneously dis-assemble and combust. My Tiger, though having its ultra valuable crew subjected to repeated "internal flaking" hits, continues to battle on. Things will soon get quite ugly for the surviving troops.

MrSpkr is under the impression that I should cross this one lone bridge in our Berlified rainy night scenario. He is even trying to persuade me into crossing by sending artillery (artillery, mind you!) into the position he has presumed I hold. Well, I've got news for him! I'll come across that damn bridge in my own good time. You see, it's the waiting that really gets to someone of his limited mental capacity, and if I keep him waiting long enough, he will become more of a drooling, babbling idiot than he already has proven himself to be.

jd seems to suffer from the delusion that his uber-French (Ha ha, that's rich; Uber-french!) have a chance in hell of beating the finest from the Fatherland. Sure, his concentration of halftracks is having a field day with a couple of squads of freshly trained soldiers, but after all, isn't that what freshly trained soldiers are for?

Elvis, the Pompous, and I are just starting our little dance o' death (his primarily) on a village map with large hills and heavy forest. He is confident as the German defenders, but he is in deep trouble, for I, the attacking Americans, have brought, (and keep this under your hat), shh, wait for it, yes, chainsaws!

Were any of you worth the effort, I would take a moment to expound upon my hate for each and every one of you, but when you get right down to it, I can't be bothered.

Ta-ta, and die-a-lot.

[Lorak]

Ahh, What a sucky monday in hell.

The Highland games were in full swing at Grandfather mountain,NC this weekend. Needless to say that was where I was. Not quite Heaven...but close enough.

Tome update:

Seanachai-win

Berli-loss

OGSF-win

Moriarty-loss

Elvis-win

Lawyer-loss

Elvis-win

Peng-loss

Goanna has squired Von Shrad

What an interesting turn of events in the pool. We have an outsider, Claymore, calling Seanachai a wiccan dwarf. We have Shandorf and Speaker throwing bile at each other over some tourney that is as goofy as they both are ugly. Yes, a very interesting weekend. Thanks to all involved for allowing me a good chuckle. ( but most of all to the free scotch tasting at the games)

Lorak the loathed

[Moriarty]

Morgoanna and Cole Slaw should resolve their differences over von Scrod in a kaniggetly manner: On the field of battle.

Small map, dastardly conditions, 1 company of INF each, meager support, 20 turns.

[Terence]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

dastardly conditions, .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Let there be thick fog, and the hills will turn red with the blood of the unbelievers.

[**YK2**]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

What is this absurd accent? I can hardly make out what you are saying! It almost sounds...grogish! Away evil spirits...

Speedbump<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Tis called Babelfish enabled

Obviously OGSF felt those living on the outer boards wouldn't have either the sense or capabilty to understand the humour of his unique Cesspoolian accent

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

You are playing FOUR games?! You whimp[sic]!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sigh. Again, those pesky little mental deficiencies that held you back in second grade for six years leap to the surface to reveal the depths of your ignorance.

Scroll back up to the post above. Have someone else read it for you. They can then explain that I said nothing about only playing four games. I merely stated that there are four other people in front of you.

I had supposed (silly of me, I know) that you would understand (a laughable concept) that what I meant was that there are four other people from the tournament alone ahead of you. Currently (counting the Rumble II lark), I am playing twenty-one (21) matches (down from a high two weeks ago of thirty (30), and winning the vast majority of them, not that that matters because the taunting is the most important thing.

By the way, where did you learn to taunt? Just wondering, because you suck at it.

And now, just as I ignore my great aunt's toy poodle yipping and yapping around my ankles, I am forced to [ignore]jshandorf.

[ 07-16-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Hamstersss]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

Elvis and I are still playing Meeks WW2 smackdown map. Goofy as hel, but interesting.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, by the by, what was the consensus on this beauty?

Hi, my name's Joe McClutch and this is my friend, Herman Actrad. We're archetypes from the head of Lewis and we'd like to say, on behalf of all that is holy, that if there is any kind of black, voodoo magic that can remove us from the head of Lewis, we'd appreciate your using it. It's scary in here.

[ 07-16-2001: Message edited by: Elijah Meeks ]

[**YK2**]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

The Highland games were in full swing at Grandfather mountain,NC this weekend. Needless to say that was where I was. Not quite Heaven...but close enough.

Yes, a very interesting weekend. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ditto, although rather than "interesting" I would choose the phrase, "A perfect weekend"

No Highland Games as such and it rained constantly....

Not even a hint of Scotch, but who cares, Heaven is indeed close when drinking French wine and eating French food, and all that's just a plus when you consider the real reason for my visit.

Paris, needless to say that's where I was.

Not quite Heaven?

Lets just say you couldn't get any closer.

Unless of course you consider the company.

*SIGH*

(Edited to say Welcome Back Meeks)

[ 07-16-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

There's nothing like rappeling into a few hundred feet of darkness to get the blood going.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh I don't know, I think being dashed on sharp rocks after falling some few hundred feet would get the blood going a bit faster...mainly all over the rocks.

Mace

[Hamstersss]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

(Edited to say Welcome Back Meeks)

[ 07-16-2001: Message edited by: YK2 ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Jefe, I saw through your thinly-veiled insult and all I can say is, I may be gamey, whiny, vile and despicable but at least I'm not a nanny-goat pigmilker like you.

(Edited to say that, alas and alack, dear, sweet, parfumed and coifed Emma has caused me to blush in the hindquarters with this fine display of affection. Without doubt, I am honored to be so esteemed as to be valued somewhere above slime mold in the mind of this fine, kilt-wearing, haggus chucking, wee lass.)

(Wait, this wasn't edited.)

(What's going on here, who's writing this tripe?)

(Oh no, it couldn't be, not you!)

(Urk, gah, aaaaaah!)

[Claymore]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

Claymore you wanker, stay out of the MBT. Ya gamey little bastich.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Much as I hate to admit it I was waiting for some neurally challanged Chipmunk from my outer board victories to surface in the MBT. Bau-hahahahahahaha, I believe at last count your number of victories against me is what? THE BIG O (Sit down, it's not that big O dammit!)

Now from my extensive readings of the MBT I know that this is a record to be expected against you provided one has either passed kindergarten or can recognize three items of the color green. Some individual in the past best described the situation when he said that "nobody like Bauhaus can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory". Our sweet Lord must have been drained to the very limits of his powers when your name finally appeared on the creation list.

If you'd like another brutal slapdown and once again be reminded of your place, then by all means send me a setup.

[Lorak]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Claymore:

Much as I hate to admit it I was waiting for some neurally challanged Chipmunk from my outer board victories to surface in the MBT. Bau-hahahahahahaha, I believe at last count your number of victories against me is what? THE BIG O (Sit down, it's not that big O dammit!)

Now from my extensive readings of the MBT I know that this is a record to be expected against you provided one has either passed kindergarten or can recognize three items of the color green. Some individual in the past best described the situation when he said that "nobody like Bauhaus can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory". Our sweet Lord must have been drained to the very limits of his powers when your name finally appeared on the creation list.

If you'd like another brutal slapdown and once again be reminded of your place, then by all means send me a setup.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sigh... I am truly saddened.

We finally get a physicist to show up and prance around in the cess... and what do we get?

Discussions relating to quantum math?

String theory?

The problem of storing anti-matter once it is created?

NO! we get some slack arsed backwards comments about how Bauhaus plays CM.

It is enough to make me weep.

Lorak the loathed

[Shandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

Jefe, [snip]

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey there, Ranger Rick. Taking the scouts out for another hike in the hils? Make sure you remind them not to mention to thier parents anything about those pictures you took of them....

Jeff