The Peng challenge, a thread that will live in infamy

[David Aitken]

MrSpnkr is obviously keen to see a textbook British withdrawal in the fine tradition of Dunkirk. You will get your setup tomorrow, after I have spent several hours dreaming about nice things like... oh yes, last night I was creeping around town in uniform... and before that I was talking to... oh goody... and then a few nights ago I had a very disturbing dream involving Jerry Hall which makes me think twice about wanting to sleep, but hopefully that won't happen again.

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

It somehow seems fated that Rune (evil) and I (Evil) are just finishing up a joint effort. Oh, Iskander, no snow...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Then all I need now to execute my penance is a target....

This pile o'crap of yours does lend itself to playing three-sheets windwards, I hope?

[rune]

your target....he whose name shall not be bolded. Seniletea....

If agreed upon, One of us Prime evils will send you, your worst nightmare. No, not Peng sober...I mean scenario...

Rune

[Stalin's Organ]

9r]MOUSE{/q] - the game's in the mail.

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rune:

your target....he whose name shall not be bolded. Seniletea....

If agreed upon, One of us Prime evils will send you, your worst nightmare. No, not Peng sober...I mean scenario...

Rune<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, I've done my part to keep Peng unsober....

And actually, Snort-a-ki' and I are due for a game, if he's recovered from his Maple Leaf Volkmoot, that is. Clear it with his verboseness and do it up... I'll go mix drinks....

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

9r]MOUSE{/q] - the game's in the mail.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The Scene: cesspool parade ground. The SSN's are carrying out their daily drill.

The drill sargeant-major storms up to Stalin's Organ, who is at attention in the ranks, leans in closer so that they are nose to nose, and then yells:

You 'orrible, 'OORIBLE, little man!

Have you forgotten the Queen's regs!!!!

Where's the TAUNT in THAT!!!!

Now sound off like you 'ave a pair, and don't ever, ever let me catch you doing that again!!!!

oh,and by the way....

Do up your '[' and ']', you look SLOVENLY!!!!!!!!

Mace

[Stalin's Organ]

Mace old boy - feel free to SOD OFF at any time.

given the wretched discipline shown by the kay-nig-it's, supposedly the finest this pool has to offer, I see nothing at all wrong with taunting the ever gramatically-corerct Iguanna with my UBB skills in a message to [s0MOUSE}i).

Yes, that's right, the taunt is to someone and the message is to someone else.....I realise that this is probably too much for your short blunt brain to comprehend, but that's the way it is.

[Panzer Leader]

So, where's this game at, SO?

[Panzer Leader]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

So, where's this game at, SO?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

EDIT: Well, I guess that file you sent me without any parameters whatsoever is supposed to be it. Is this a "mystery battle?

Hmm, 3500 points to spend and I don't know if its day or night, assault or meeting engagement. Anything really, except that its December.

No matter, I am confident I will slaughter you with a well-disciplined combined arms effort, even though it is unrestricted...

[Stalin's Organ]

Sigh, your moronic lack of memory really shouldn't surprise me, yet somehow it still does!!

Clearly I'm not worthy for notice here until I can automatically regard you as a mindless cockroach not worth changing my step to crush!

To recap, from memory: It's random weather, dawn, moderate trees and hills, rural landscape.

You have a high morale Armour selection, I have a low morale American infantry selection.

Your are assaulting.....ie yuo are on teh offensive....yuo should be able to manage something like that I suppose, your existence being as offensive as anything in this place.

I look forward to lauching as yuor uber-panzers get mollested by the brave GI's of the 69th "Up & Under" Infantry Division!

Ah..that's right - I figured if I restricted you to armour you'd probably whimper and complain about the parameters, so you do get the free choice.

Of course if you had any pride in your name and balls made out of the same stuff as your frontal plates then you wouldn't buy anything except armour, but that's OK - I expect you to be as gamey as you feel you need to be!

I look forward to capturing your conscript 300mm rockets and 210mm artillery!

Editied 'cos )D(MOUSE's[q} post contained one smidgen of useful info that I had actually forgotten......but other than that he's full of ****e - don't stand on him anyone or it'll get everwhere!

[ 07-13-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stall In Oregon actually posted something worthy of note: Clearly I'm not worthy for notice here ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now TECHNICALLY there was some other stuff he posted and there was TECHNICALLY more to the sentence I quoted, but it was, for once, so DAMNED true and so ... RIGHT that I was forced to take notice of it. Kind of a paradox isn't it, the one post that I notice is the one that says he's not worth noticing ... some kind of Zen thing going on I guess.

Joe

[Stalin's Organ]

Righto [l}MOUSE(/b] - since I've forgotten all about those games, and since you don't know anything about them either I figure both are up for grabs and both are on their way back to you.

I expect you to forget that you've received them, butthat's OK - I'll remind you from time to time.

I wish I could say look forward to your response......pathetic and ineffectual tho' it will certainly be.........but I expect it'll probably just irritate me, much like a polyp on the intestinal wall........giving me a belly ache and not much else.

[Goanna]

Lads, I too have been busy with the CM chemistry set again after some time off from it and have a new scenario (A Midnight Clear) ready for testing. It's a totally fair one, so it won't be any good for running off SSN's. If any of you regulars want to give it a try (meaning insomniac speed freaks like Peng and Elvis who finish games in the current millenium) and give me your feedback I would be most thankful and probably give you credit in the briefing.

If played as a single player game its probably only good as the Gebirgsjäger.

[Agua Perdido]

In a further sign of the coming apocalypse (in addition to Meeks and Croda returning on the same page or nearly so), I am caught up in all my games, including the one with stevetherat (whose reply I had been planning to delay until he got a new HD, but I had the extra time, so I thought I'd just finish it now, allowing me to demand of him WHERE'S MY FECKIN' TURN?! when I know good and well his HD's blown and he can't return a damned thing until he gets it fixed), thus freeing me to post long, pointless run-on sentences while awaiting the final sign of Doomsday: a turn from Croda.

Normally I'd post some UPDATES, but I don't hate you all enough this morning. Well, I probably do, but I'm just too lazy to do anything about it today.

Agua Perdido

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>MrSpkr wrote:

Now send me a setup so I can imprint this lesson firmly in your mind.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

t mght hlp f y hd n ml ddrss.

[MrSpkr]

It is another sign!

First, seanachai's madness.

Then the return of Meeks and Croda.

And now . . . this.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Winecape said:

Keep up the battles and thanks to Berli for losing graciously.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, I am afraid its true. The Dark One has been accused of LOSING GRACIOUSLY!

The horror!

The Old Ones are being grogified!

Next I suppose we will see interesting posts by Mouse and intelligible posts from that Stolen Organ fellow.

Nahhhh. Some things, thankfully, will simply never happen.

[edited because the shock of this event was somewhat overwhelming.]

[ 07-13-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

LMAO!!!

Shandorf, how in the hell do you expect us to believe you stand any chance in this tourny, hell any chance in life at all, if you constantly miss the obvious.

Those games were posted by me and if you care to look, you will see the post on page 3 of this thread.

Maybe you should think about re-looking at the maps a couple more times before you press done in the future.

Lorak the loathed<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Dammit! That was the page where Organ boy posted all that crap and then Meeks and Cruda came back, so I breezed through most of it only giving it a passing glance. Dammit again!

Bah! I still enjoy berating you even if it's unwarranted.

Jeff

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

t mght hlp f y hd n ml ddrss.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Pls s ths ml ddrss (s ws pstd ystrdy)

stephen.hines@att.net

Y rll shld rd th Mthh Btfl Thrd bfr whnng lk tht, y wrthlss Brtsh twt.

nd b th wy, n mr Jrr Hll cmmnts. Yr drms snd qt . . . dstrbng.

[dtd fr mr nslts]

[ 07-13-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Y rll shld rd th Mthh Btfl Thrd bfr whnng lk tht, y wrthlss Brtsh twt.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

• I did more than that, I did a search, and it indeed turned up this thread as a result, but I couldn't be arsed trawling through all this drivel on the offchance that you had actually posted your address. You could have updated your profile, you, you, lawyer!

• Besides, I did read your post yesterday, but by the time you challenged me I had long erased its worthless contents from my short-term memory.

• I also read the legalese at the bottom of your e-mail, and I am concerned to determine whether or not I was the intended recipient, as if not I need to make preparations to repel the Feds who will be dropping by to kill me.

[PeterNZer]

Once in a while I tend to post. The worms. The smell. The Croda. Not to mention all the other imbeciles assembled hear. Pause. But then.. the cure. A bottle of "4711", the worst perfum ever made in Deutschland. Except Warphead's sweat perhaps. *emptying the bottle into the pool* Aaaaaargh! Delicious! The sweetness. Peng and such recoil in fear. This scent will get you all.

[armornut]

I have found another job, and my wife is graduated....so I can play CM again. As proof I have beaten David Atkin in our match.

Atkin: 25

Armornut: 75

Let the above be noted by the all mighty Lorak!

As for up dates;

Mace and I are busy trying to get around each other's flanks. I am having slightly more success because have the Jabo's looking for his tanks.

Speedhump is busy rushing my troops and getting cut down. I really have to say he is doing quite well for a lower life form.

Stuka and I are very occupied with trying to get over a bridge while keeping the other from getting over the same bridges. Needless to say there are a lot of burning wrecks.

Until next time kids, remember to brush your teeth and say your prayers like good little Hulk-a-mainiacs.

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Atkin: 25

Armornut: 75<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's a scam! BTS has modelled the Germans as a gamey bargain-basement arsenal!! I had a company of infantry and four Archers, he had three companies of infantry, to StuH42's and a Jagdpanther! And it was only a normal attack scenario! Archers are a bloody ripoff – what use is a backwards facing, open-topped SP gun that barely costs less than a proper tank? I lost three of the bloody things to mortars, panzerscrecks and crew cowardice, and the fourth engaged the Jagdpanther in a perfect hulldown ambush position, but the wrong way round because I forgot the damn thing was backwards-facing!! Damnit, I resign.

[Lars]

I have been ill and haven’t posted here lately. Reading the tripe you lot have posted lately may have something to do with it. Especially the posts from the infected communist reproductive device.

I suppose some of you morons will edited the above to read:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I have been ill…from the infected communist reproductive device.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This proves that not only am I quicker than you immature mental midgets, and that his emissions are sickening, but that prophylactics may be in order to guard against the tiny red menace spreading. Any chance of Mace sewing up a couple of his old used-up girlfriends for use? On second thought, now I feel ill again…

In other news,

Mouse, a tip for you. Next time you decide to attack over open ground consider doing something a little different like, oh, I don’t know, maybe… SMOKE!

Ahh, I feel much better now.

Iskander, you drunken loon, I hold all the flags and I don’t even care. I’m going to get that damn Jumbo.

For all of my opponents who are awaiting turns I will be out on the lake this weekend consuming large quantities of adult beverages until the liquor store closes, I run out of cash, or the boat sinks. Files will be sent as sobriety comes and goes…or not.

For those of you who are not my opponents, you may go back to your juice boxes and fruit rollups.

[Panzer Leader]

Well, Lars, thanks for the advice, but 1.) I like watching useless waves of infantry crumble uselessly, and B.) I seem to STILL be winning, eh?

Thank you and goodnight.

[MrSpkr]

Lorak scribe thusly:

Dependable, reliable, never say quit MrSpkr: Axis MAJOR victory

Whiny, wimpy, quitter Iskander: Allied surrender.

I can't say that I totally blame him - although he still had over a dozen tanks and about 600 green men, he had lost one tank and around 360 men to my 280. I still had over 400 crack Gerbilsjaegers with which to kill him, and pretty darn good terrain. I also had local numerical superiority in the primary battle area.

Chalk it up: MrSpkr win; Iskander loss.

In other news:

I now know how Patton felt in August and September, 1944 - in our current match, Speedbump is retreating far faster than I am able to catch him. Although he probably outnumbers me by three to one, he has not made a decent defensive stand since turn two.

Dalem has just managed to plod through the mud to the primary victory location, only to discover my Canadian (ugh) lads have taken up residence (about three turns ago, actually). He is preparing to Die-A-Lot now.

In turn six of My Most Boring PBEM Going, Leeo STILL has not attempted to cross the ONE and ONLY bridge that he MUST cross to get to the victory flags - you know, the one only 100m in front of his start location? Yeah, that one. My boys are about to fall asleep from the tedious monotony that IS a battle against Leeo.

Marlow owes me a turn. SAo does Wildman.

Phillies Phan has said he is quitting CM:BO cold turkey. However, like a teenage boy trying to swear off looking at alt.binaries.erotica.(insert fetish here), I do not think he will be able to stay away.

Finally, now that he is losing rather badly, shandorf can't seem to stop whining about how horrible the scenario we are playing is. Hmmm. It probably has nothing to do with the fact that he (1) didn't scout the village before attacking; (2) divided his forces into three parts, none of which are in any position to support each other; or (3) his flagrant disregard for anything approaching decent tactics.

Nope, must just be that terribly unbalanced scenario (Hitdorf on the Rhine, to be exact). The one in which his big company of veteran paratroops assaults a village held by (initially) two conscript squads and a few minefields. Yeah, the scnario must be unbalanced.

It is to laugh.