A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess

[Check6]

I was gratified to find an unexpected gift in my mail - a surrender from Mr. Hankey. This brings my vs. human winning percentage to 1.000, more than even Fionn can say. That's 1-0, if you couldn't guess. About to become 1-1, I fear, unless an earthquake forces me and jd into a draw. I must confess that I showcased the depths of my potential for stupidity in that game... but that 82-18 major victory makes a dozen losses worth my while.

Errr, not quite. Makes one loss worth my while, at least. I expect to crush Jarhead in short order, too. Then I can afford a second loss and still keep my self-esteem up.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Moriarty:

Normally, I'd love to take advantage of your assistance but Friday is 26 January 2001 on the calendar in the US of A.

Since you were so kind enough to Publicly point out my error (which I have since corrected), can I schedule you in for ...err... never?

Mace [Australian Public Servant Credo: Put off until tomorrow what you can do today, and take a sickie instead]

[Jarhead]

Originally posted by Check6:

On a related note, I am hereby turning in a wisely considered report of suicidal, foolish, nearly-the-g-word tactics by my very-esteemed opponent. I count three unoccupied jeeps Fast-moving their merry way up my roads. In this case it's probably nothing to worry about, but in other circumstances I might have been rather severely unhappy.

I must admit I deserve any G-word you may throw at me. But of course I thought since there are 5 pillboxes, and at least 4 to 5 bunkers, plus 4 to 5 AT guns, plus GAWD knows how manny MG teams, Plus ? mortars raining death on my troops. All bunched in on a front 2000 feet across. its a bit G-word already. Now all I need is a little more speed on the 14" gun spotters.

P.S. Besides I loved "Rat Patrol."

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Semper Fi.

[Kitty]

Originally posted by Moriarty:

Normally, I'd love to take advantage of your assistance but Friday is 26 January 2001 on the calendar in the US of A.

That's right. Guess I'm out of luck. Hey, Arty, where's the file from our game? =(

Kitty

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Hamsters at War!

Chicks With Tanks

Lorak's FTX

"I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka

The True Blue Aussie Slang Source

The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website

[Croda]

Hit me with the mask of shame.

Shaw, you are right. I am to be paddled for my ignorance. Kitty, Emma, get the paddle.

Would a Mister Sean Thornton please stand up?

I shall do my best to make amends. The sad thing is, that's one of my favorite movies too. I think it was the 'C' that threw me off.

In game updates:

NZer is being eaten alive now that I suckered him in close

Chuppie likes the scenery and refuses to probe.

jd makes repeated vain attempts to check my advance.

shandorff will eat the living flesh off of my bones very soon.

madmensch told me I had no chance, then turned around and lost a Tiger and a whole platoon of inf in 1 turn.

wildgirl can't figure out where the flag is.

Oberst has 10 Stuhs attacking my green french inf. This may hurt a bit.

dalem is currently waiting for the first shoe to drop, which is always followed by the dropping of the other shoe.

The Knights Challenge match with Stuka stumbles on towards infinity with no end or live germans in sight.

Marlow is cheating like the two-faced, four-eyed, 6-toed, 1 nutted crap-head he is.

I have no digitiezed pictured of myself, much to your dismay, I'm sure. With a little luck I may take the plunge and draw one in MSPaint for you all.

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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[OGSF]

Originally posted by PeterNZer:

LORAK The people on this thread are, self-evidently, as Germgit would put it MORONS!

I haven't received a file from anyone in a very long time! That is, baring ...sanna and steve something...

The list of the evil are:Nijis to name a few.

PeterNZ

Ah kin say nae more than this....Steve Negus an' Nijis are the same person, thang or place. Yer silly wee mon.

(Och, thas as sae difficult....)

An' noo tae mah worthy opponents...(Ah thank Ah'm gwinnae puke mah haggis...)...pray continue yer inturestin' an' talented game play. Ah thank Ah'll still eke oot a win, boot Ah'll respect yer efforts none-tha-less...

Ah, Ah, ...*SirOGSF breaks doon sobbin' his poor wee heart oot....*

At's nae good....Ah hate yer festerin' rat gnawed guts an' Ah' kin nae more be nice than an Sassanach kin be aw but pasty white an' palid. *sigh* *shudder*

Ah feel a wee bit better noo....thas kindler gentle thing feels lak an unnatural fetter upon mah literary spleen.

Mace yer feeble break through on mah laft flank cam awful easy didnae? Does tha suggest anythin' tae ye? One MG an' a flak gun an' in ye come, after ainly aboot 15 moves......ye forces remind me o' when mah spaniel spits oop...a small mess tae be cleaned oop, an' try no' tae touch it wi' mah bare hands.

Speedy as takin' his complete an' utter thrashin' at mah noble and skilled hand in good stride. Af'n it is nae dead, at's burnin'. Cop tha ye basta... uh... mongr.. err...ne'er mind.

Nijis as aboot tae launch what's laift o' has shattered forces in a suicide rush through a fleeting smoke screen. Ye knoo he's an trouble, when Ah mention he as the one defendin'.....

Babra, afore Ah ferget, Ah loved the wee poem aboot the fert. Ah raid at tae tha wee Missuss, an' she smacked me wi' a kipper fer laughin' sae much Ah ferted. Ah wush she'd taken at oot o' tha tin first tho!

StukaNukaPukaPants as a wee bat confused fer noo. He has taken tha VLs' wi' scarce opposition, an' all as quiet. Tha other boot will drop by an by.

Hiram sent mae a move. Ah thank tha' deserves a mention. An' at's good tae see ham postin' an' tha 'Pool agin.

Seanachai as occupied tha village wi' a stout Churchill tank overlookin' the affair. The other two Churchill's an tha Stuart have had tae gae back tae the shop fer repairs. But his lads are sittin' tight an the wee hooses an the town. Ah'm gwintae huff, an' Ah'll puff, an' Ah'll blooooooooo has hooses doon....one by one. Yer see af Ah dinnae.

An' fer tha rest o' ye, please realize tha Ah mean thas an tha nicest possible way....*poot*

Ye moderators kin hav a wiff o' tha as wail.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

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You posture more than Marcia Brady with books on her head and you chatter like a dolphin near the fish bucket. - Dalem

[This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 01-23-2001).]

[Lorak]

Umm,

Tome update:

The pictures are coming along very well.

New to the collection:

GiTom

Dalem

Germanboy,Chupa,PeterNZ (picture stolen of the forum)

and a nice one Of OGSF peering out of his bunker.

Lorak the loathed

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"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

[Joe Shaw]

Shaw, you are right. I am to be paddled for my ignorance. Kitty, Emma, get the paddle.

Would a Mister Sean Thornton please stand up?

Well you can't say fairer than that says I. Mind you it wasn't as good as "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon", for which the Duke SHOULD have won the Oscar ... best work he ever did, IMHO, that and "The Shootist."

You are still a swine, mind you, but you've redeemed yourself somewhat ... carry on.

Joe

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Mace:

Oh, btw, I would just like to say good-morning and I hope you have a pleasant and enjoyable day/evening/whatever!

My thoughts are with you all (well to be honest, some of you. Most don't rate the effort of a thought)

Toodles,

Mace (getting into the spirit of the enlightened thread)

The Thread is supposed to be kinder and gentler, Mace, not queasy making you Australian Mr. Rogers wannabe.

And YK2 is right (no surprises there), there's a horrible typo right there in the title. Actually, I think there's another letter missing that would have made that word into a rather horrible Latvian colloquialism; fortunately, that was mistyped as well.

Oh, and the new Thread title is actually a gift to us all from the Bald One.

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 01-24-2001).]

[chrisl]

Lorak, I just checked out the pictures, and it's more horrific than I thought. Berli does somehow remind me a bit of Raskolnikov, but I think you should try to find one of him that shows a little more redeye-- it would look more appropriate. The truly frightening thing about the picture of you is that I think that cubicle is right around the corner from my office, despite being on the wrong coast.

btw- why is there a picture of dalem? We still don't know what a dalem is.

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"If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk)

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by mensch:

gentler Cess??? GENTLER CESS!!!!!??? WTF IS THIS?

Feck that, this scheit of a political corectness is a North Fecking American Fetish to keep everyone happy. Buy Guns, take drugs say "man" not Post"person", cheat, lie! Don't be afraid to say "shut up you dolt, I'm surfing for PORN!"... damn fecking americans all thier political correctness causes more trouble then a Prostate infection!

Sorry, Raketenmensch, but it is not the fault of the American people, nor even the moderators of the Board. The request to 'clean up' the 'Pool came from the Canadian Government, and, under NAFTA, apparently we have to comply.

The Canadian Govt also insisted that "the character 'Mensch' must not be portrayed as a Canadian. The character 'Mensch' is vile, unstable, and emotionally disturbed. Portraying said character as a citizen of our nation is prejudicial to the Canadian people. Please make changes to this character at once."

We tried to explain to them that, so far as we knew you were an actual person, not merely some character we'd created for the Peng Challenge Thread, and that you actually claimed to be a Canadian, but they simply wouldn't accept it. Please choose a new nationality to claim to be, as we don't wish further problems with your government.

They're still reviewing Roborat. And they signed off on Babra being Canadian, they didn't have any problems with him at all.

They further informed us that the pictures from Lorak's site have been distributed to Canadian border stations, with instructions to forbid entry to pretty much anyone from that list. Except Kitty; they requested further pictures of her. They were not forthcoming on why they needed more.

Oh, and they want Lorak to sit for parliament.

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 01-24-2001).]

[Mark IV]

Another straight 12 hours of work, and you idiots post 4 pages of drivel. Where to begin?

Henri: How can a given name which looks powerful in any other language appear so limp in froggisch? Yes, I did indeed register in the year 100, and the astute would ask, AD or BC? You were here too, insisting that using triremes on land wasn't really gamey at all, they did it in the Forum all the time... you idiot.

I registered my first nick in November '99, lost it in an earlier crash, but survived the Great Crash with my glorious current model number and the distinctively altered registration date. Good god, did you run out of jeep recon theories to test? What kind of snail-breathed pind**k would sit around reading people's posting histories?

PeterNZer: Apparently you haven't been reading along with the rest of the class. You seem to have missed the facts that a) the 'pool is kinder and gentler now, and I am very Busy with Work and only return games to Very Important People. Which excludes everyone who has ever posted here, except Steve (of BTS, not the annoying and witless rodent), whom I am not playing.

Even GITom was able to deduce, by carefully moving his lips as he moved his greasy finger down the screen, that I will be back to destroy you all in February. I may squeak out a turn here and there, before. I am still ahead of your unenviable record in the return department. Anyway, you're killing me, so STFU.

I haven't even gotten back to Croda who is unable to even surrender properly. "Hmm, wave my arms, or put a white flag behind my head? It's all so confusing..." Being kinder and gentler I will continue shooting him in the only glacis offered me, his back, though if he would only face me, he would benefit from the additional slope.

I am so deeply annoyed with all of you that I may post a picture of me to the loathesome Lorak's site. I will say that, if I was running a photo site, I would take pains to see that I wasn't the ugliest person posting before putting up my own picture. I continue to admire your courage, despite detesting you.

Anyway I have a New Computer in case I forgot to mention it, and it is so cool I can just watch the screensaver for hours, allowing me to pretend I am in upper management, or a lawyer. Sadly, I am forced to use it for work while I am here at home, because it is better than the ridiculous Etch-a-Sketch I am provided at work.

But rest assured you are all in it, and Marked IV Death.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Henri:

It is an illusion that cesspoolers are all veterans of this forum; in fact, almost all of them are wet behind the ears newcomers none of whom appeared on this forum before the year 2000!

The litany of canonized forum saints should therefore not include the better-known names of Seanechai...

Henri

Well, the Church moved to have St. Patrick stricken from the list, too.

I have never pretended to be anything but a relative newcomer to the Board, and certainly have not been reincarnated from any of the Board crashes. On the other hand, I've been with the Peng Challenge Thread since the first post.

Also, the original poster was making a point about PBEMing, not canonization for having discovered this site earlier than others.

However, Henri makes a very good point. Please do not idolize anyone in the Peng Challenge Thread (except for Lorak, who is expecting it). I know there is a real temptation to do so, but refrain. It only leads to heartache. Think of the humiliation when you realize the person you've chosen to revere above mortal men is found to have only been posting here for 8 or 9 months, and has never made one pithy contribution on armour penetration or muzzle velocity. Only years of therapy will enable you to function in society again, providing you don't just throw yourself under a bus.

And Henri, please don't put me in a list right next to Jeff Heidman next time. I didn't come here for an argument.

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[Lorak]

by Seanachai:

However, Henri makes a very good point. Please do not idolize anyone in the Peng Challenge Thread (except for Lorak, who is expecting it).

Damn skippy! Now that I have placed my god like image in the tome, I expect....nay DEMAND, some damn idols and graven worship take place!

Now drop to your knees and kiss the ring.

NO! Not that one you twits! my big toe ring, with the nice wool boot sock lint stuck in it.

{sigh}...seems you heathens will never learn.

Lorak the loathed

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"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

[This message has been edited by Lorak (edited 01-24-2001).]

[mensch]

Originally posted by Croda:

madmensch told me I had no chance, then turned around and lost a Tiger and a whole platoon of inf in 1 turn.

uh exuse me?? a whole platoon? jee I looked at the film agian.. I give you credit for a supurb PIAT lob at my Tiger .. but a platoon?? me finks you have been sniffing Chubumungas armpits again.

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www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[mensch]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

The request to 'clean up' the 'Pool came from the Canadian Government, and, under NAFTA, apparently we have to comply.

not bloody likely snoochie.. the canadian government is so incompetent any law passed by them is a slur upon the moral government of the world

The character 'Mensch' is vile, unstable, and emotionally disturbed.

you flatter me with your paunchy half-faced pignut comments, here is a big fat juicy *kiss* to you.

Please choose a new nationality to claim to be, as we don't wish further problems with your government.

ok.. I choose to be a Canadian-Ukrainian (political enough for you, you harpy)

They further informed us that the pictures from Lorak's site have been distributed to Canadian border stations

sorry my fen-sucked foot-licker its already known that not only is the RCMP, MTP, CISIS and the LLBO looking for me. Word has it they looked for me but they all combined could not find their own asses with both hands!

Oh, and they want Lorak to sit for parliament.

well considering what we have for PM I would welcome the little powder puff as our new PM.. heck hes so chocked full of those IQ point thingies.. you, you on the other hand, when it comes to I.Q. points, you lose them every time you go to the bathroom.

remember kiddies, cheat, lie, take drugs, steal, swear and do things that the musik tells you to do.. but do it at Seanahoos home he apparently is a unhappy old coot and is so old that his birthday cake looks like a brush fire.. so go cheer him up.. and maybe we can bring him kicking and screaming in the century of the Fruitbat

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www.derkessel.com Home of "Die Sturmgruppe" Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[mensch]

LOraK.. you dolt.. what I hate most is people who make websites with musik.. lucky for me I pushed the command-w to close the window before your site blasted at 3000 dB some song.. !!! think of the jerks like me who surf the net while working, jeez.... I saw you as someone better then Senachack.. but now .. makes me think if I should put you on the "people like Seanachie or even worse but no one could be as bad as that moss for brains Seanachoo List"

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www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[Mace]

Originally posted by OGSF:

Mace yer feeble break through on mah laft flank cam awful easy didnae? Does tha suggest anythin' tae ye?

That you suck as a commander, Sir.a.n.y.b.l.o.o.d.y.l.e.t.t.e.r.i.n.t.h.e.a.l.p.h.a.b.e.t?

[Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by mensch:

LOraK.. what is this aboot?

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www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

Mensch, my cats love the music from the Loathed One's sight. It beats the music from yours. Wait, is your sight the one with the Suzy Squeeze Me dolls on sale? I have to re-check my bookmarks.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Croda]

Just took another look at all the caged animals over in Lorak's zoo...what a motley crue that is. Small wonder most of them can't string 6 words together with a conjunction in the middle to form a complex sentence. I was particulary surprised by the pic of Germanboy. Well, ok, I was first struck by Kitty, but that's another story, (may I say, my dear, that you are a vision in black?) As for Andreas, I would have thought, due to the relatively educated nature of over half of his posts, that the lad was just joking calling himself GermanBOY. Has that kid hit puberty yet? I'd swear he's the smartest 13 year old going.

As for the OGSF pics...I like the pic of mini-OGSF better than the real one. Kind of looks like Willow, in a way.

And Shaw, while Yellow Ribbon was great, I'm still partial to a few others: The Searchers, of course; Sands of Iwo Jima; Fort Apache; and naturally, The Quiet Man. I feel like skipping out now and going home to watch something as piss-poor as Hellfighters just to get my JW fix in.

Oh, and Mensch, that was no PIAT, that was a zook, from a good distance. Really pisses you off, eh? That leaves you one fully functional Tiger, since the other one is immobilized. As for the full platoon: I consider losing to squads and the HQ, with the 3rd squad about to be slaughtered as losing a full platoon. You probably call it National Viking Day, or some other stoopid and unrelated event. Nevertheless, I am now completely certain that you will lose rather harshly...and it warms my heart.

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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 01-24-2001).]

[jshandorf]

So... there is a family album for the Cesspool now? Oh joy...

I suppose I will have to dig up some picture of me, digitally alter it, and then send it in?

Great...just great...not that I have enough work to do already.

Hmmm... wonder where Meeks is... Since my butt whoopin' of him the other night I have yet to see him around. He did mention something to the effect of me kickin' his but into Thursday. Maybe we will see him then...

Jeff

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First of all, David, you stupid sot, if names were meant to be descriptive, everyone would have the, culturally appropriate, name of, "Ugly little purple person that cries and wets itself." -Meeks.

[BFCElvis]

Marlow has defeated me in runes dreaded "A river runs throught it". He cheated of course but that is just his way.

Just checked out the photo page....I didn't think you were serious. I have a picture in mind that I should be sending shortly...But where my work really lies is in finding this picture of Peng....probably 10 or 12 years old now but he looks no different (he has timeless good looks). This picture captures the personality of the person you have seen on this board and the person in real life (although there is really very little difference). I haven't really given a damn about the squire/knight/lord ranking but I can assure you that if I find this picture I will need to do nothing else to become a Lord. (Peng you know the picture I mean and I'm sure I have it not you.)

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What do we do with a terrible liar? Well, Great liars we send into the clergy.

Good liars we groom for politics. Moderate liars we supply with sherrif's badges

and guns, and the bad liars, well, we make them heroin whores. So what the hell

do we do with the Terrible Liars? Well, it seems we turn them into physicists

called "chrisl." Peng

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Lorak:

Damn skippy! Now that I have placed my god like image in the tome, I expect....nay DEMAND, some damn idols and graven worship take place!

I carved a small idol of you last night out of Spam, but the cats got hold of it during the night and ate it. I hope it didn't have too many voodoo doll characteristics (I put a post of yours in the center)-- we'd have to find a new person to post the cesspool results.

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"If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk)

[Herr Oberst]

Turns again, turns again...

Crawdad: Yes, his green frenchies shall be martyred under the tracks of my Stug IIIc's. For now, I just need to keep up the shoot and scoot, mixing and matching the directions of my Zug's of Stugs (LOL, I crack myself up) while watching poor Crawdad dumping mortar rounds into open terrain. I took a brief trip to Crawdad-land the other day, and managed to snap a photo of him on the way to a costume party.

It was a sublime moment, and truly captured his expression just as the realization dawned in that pea-sized brain of his that he and his troops are indeed doomed.

'Tis a wonder that the state of Pennsylvania allows him to drive. But anyone driving Rt 17 north has seen the results of his handiwork.

shandorf: Cease fire, cease fire. I'm sure the points will bear him out the winner, but what do you expect when on turn 1, he rushed all his troops into town like a bunch of hormone-crazed soldiers who scented the local cat house? (No reference implied or intended Kitty) But still, my divine StuH has held off what I assume to be his last AT team. I suspect that the standoff in town, and the showdown between an immobilized StuH and a Sherman with a knocked out gun is just too boring for either of us to continue.

The Other Stuka: His Amis should be packing their bags and heading for Stalag 13 very soon indeed. My flanking Gerbiljaegers have even managed to line up fire lanes on those poor Amis trying to flee he back of the map.

Anyone else, well, I forget just now.

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 01-24-2001).]

[stevetherat]

Salvation is coming...

Due to the uprising of the Hamster Armies, I have commisioned an invasion force of Chicks. After their intensive training I will launch the assault to crush the enemy underfoot and drive on to The Wheel, their HQ.

Further bulletins to follow...