THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

[Chupacabra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Chupacabra wrote:

> Torra fy ngwallt yn Peng

Hmmm... was it the Super Furry Animals who did their last record in Welsh?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

David, I think I love you.

Yep, spot on.

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Soy super bien soy super super bien soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

David, I think I love you.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you two can find a room right now!!! none of this open kuschie muschie stuff in the open! MY GOD THINK OF THE SHEEP!!! their poor little minds will be confused.. and besides its getting the Oz munchkins all upset.. your wooing a person and not something fuzzy and goes "baah!"

[Berlichtingen]

Lorak the barely noticed

When you find a moment between insane plots at world domination, and admiring yourself in the mirror (you aren't short by any chance, are you? [perhaps served as a corporal? {failed painter?}]), scribe upon the wall that Bauhaus has once again lost to the Rauchmeister (a habit he can't seem to break).

[This message has been edited by Berlichtingen (edited 12-21-2000).]

[David Aitken]

Mace wrote:

> What self-respect?

Yeah, I did hesitate before writing that...

Chupacabra wrote:

> David, I think I love you.

> Yep, spot on.

I'm touched, but unfortunately I'm already besotted with Robert Smith. Mmmm... big hair and lipstick.

I would like to share with you all that last night I had an incredible dream where I was in A Bridge Too Far. It wasn't too similar to the film, as dreams are wont to be, but Anthony Hopkins was there, and I was a British para with a Lee-Enfield and everything. And best of all, the gun was actually full-size, and it worked (not a common occurrence in dreams). I bagged a few Germans, and I think the odd Dutchman and Pole just to even things up.

Now selling tickets to Being Private Ryan...

David

[nijis]

To all the Poolscum awaiting turns -- unfortunately Egypt Telecom has cut off my phone service, claiming that I have failed to pay my phone bills. Given that 1) I am a solid upstanding resident alien who always tries to stay square with the state, and 2) this isn't the bill-paying time of the year, and 3) I never received an invoice, I can only assume that one of my opponents, in a vain effort to stave off the inevitable, called in a favor with an uncle in the Ministry of Communications. Could it have been Croda, contemplating the grim future of a life without armor? Or Morse, who now sees what lies in wait behind every ridge between him and the prize? Perhaps Marlow, having popped my tanks and routed my infantry, is so overcome with delight at his outrageous fortune that his judgement and tactical acumen have deserted him. Maybe OGSF has counted up all his shells and all the remaining unblasted bits of masonry and shrubbery on the map, and come up short. Or PeterNZ, having got only the barest whiff of the pain and suffering that lies ahead, has thought better of sending his troops into the valley of chastisement. No matter. I'll have some friends in the gendarmerie have a brief word with the Ministry employees, who will no doubt clear this little mystery up in a hurry with the help of some gentle persuasion. I advise whichever one is you is guilty to bone up on extradition law if he doesn't want to meet such happy denizens of our legal system as Electricity Effendi ("The pause that refreshes the memory"), the Sudanese Pinky Finger (a real beauty, made of genuine elephant hide, not like the cheap acrylic knouts you find in the bazaars these days), or other devices you may have read about in Amnesty International reports. The rest of you may savor your brief reprieve, which will come to an end when the local phone exchange reopens on Saturday.

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"I can't listen to music too often... It makes me want to say kind, stupid things, and pat the heads of people... But now you have to beat them on the head, beat them without mercy."

V. I. Lenin

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

Could it have been Croda… Or Morse, Perhaps Marlow, Maybe OGSF, PeterNZ, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

dear Mr. I have not paid my phone bills,

first I like to add your observations.

Croda: seedy git that has been know to place explosives under your toilet just to get a win in a pbem.

Morse:sneeky git, plus he wears a wig!

Marlow: Not sure about him, I hear he actually changes pbem code just for kicks to see if he can win.

OGSF, PeterNZ: watch it.. they are both in cahoots! peter being a shagger and OGSF being so old all that he can get is sheep pimped off by Peter have a deal going.... how do I know this!??? I read it in the National Pooler Post (much like morning times but more topless babes on page two)

my word of warning they all have one thing in common.. <h3>Dandruff</h3>

talking about Dandruff when is it going to snow here! sheez its like almost christmas and no snow! Seanachai do something!!!

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 12-21-2000).]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

A show of flippers, flagellae, ciliae, or what have you?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Down Bauhaus, use your hand next time.

Update time. As my opponents display a level of tactical brilliance that would do a turnip proud,

I'm still winning most, and losing none.

Cruda - Where is the bucket and mop. All that is left is janitor work in this one.

Morose - In a moving show of solidarity with his squire, Croda the dog-eared boy, Morse has agreed (with a little assistance from my Tank Destroyers) to forgo the use of Panzers for the duration of our battle.

SheepshaggerNZer - The amazing Peter the armorless boy. Another German tin can bagged by a brave Yankee bazooka gunner. However, old sneaky Pete still has lots of infantry lurking about in the dark. This one is still too close to call.

Jshandork - The noose tightens. My lowly, and despised M4A1 removes a piece of armor from the German inventory. I hope this comes out of your paycheck.

Nitwit - The unstoppable tide continues to roll over Nijis like the Romans at Actium.

Catboy Hiram - Still pissin in the snow. Your boys should know better than to enter condemned buildings. They hurt when they fall down, don't they?

Dalami - Marlow's salvage and wrecking service has graciously offered to tow away dalem's assorted junked tanks. I think the count is two Mark IVs, a Panther and a Lynx against one M18. Another gaggel of Mark IVs is about to join the choir invisible next turn.

DKNY - 1 Bazooka - 14 points. Two StuHs - 180 points. Two kills in one turn - Priceless.

Elvis - We are playing rune's "A river runs through it," and frankly, I don't quite know what to make of this one.

[Hiram Sedai]

Marlow here's a little jokey-joke.

What is ineffectual and not going to the Playoffs this year?

meaningless pause

The Deadskins Lets all gather round DC now to cry.

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Marlow here's a little jokey-joke.

What is ineffectual and not going to the Playoffs this year?

meaningless pause

The Deadskins Lets all gather round DC now to cry.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I've given up on the Deadskins this year, as I don't watch semi-pro football. I've been reduced to pulling for the [shuddder] NY Giants. Can't have the Philly Carrion birds winning the division after all.

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

I've given up on the Deadskins this year, as I don't watch semi-pro football. I've been reduced to pulling for the [shuddder] NY Giants. Can't have the Philly Carrion birds winning the division after all. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Band-wagon fans make me sick. They sit in front of the TV and pull. We all know what they pull. Pick a team and stick with it, ya wussy.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Band-wagon fans make me sick. They sit in front of the TV and pull. We all know what they pull. Pick a team and stick with it, ya wussy.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bird Brain Boy,

I still hate the Giants, just hate the Eagles more.

How about giving me a few more things to shoot at, my boy's are getting sleepy.

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Marlow here's a little jokey-joke.

What is ineffectual and not going to the Playoffs this year?

meaningless pause

The Deadskins Lets all gather round DC now to cry.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why you pompous, arrogant, sniveling, insulter-come-lately, "I-identify-with-the-Eagles-cause-I-never-clip-my-toenails", "I-identify-with-a-sports-team-cause-I-need-some-shred-of-meaning-in-my-life" pile of bird crap!

Us locals have been calling them the Deadskins for aeons now. And there are far more important things to cry about around here than the fact that no pro sports team around here, save the DC United for a few years, could amount to a hill of beans in recent years.

It was not the point of your barb that got me riled. It was the inane idea you had that you were qualified to even think about throwing a barb at the DC area. Bird-boy, you ain't even close. Now go put on your Eagles sweat socks, your Eagles underoos, paint your face, and prance about in the snow and rain and pretend that if "your" sports team does well it has anything at all to do with your presence as an insignificant lifeform on this planet.

As for the DC area, thankfully, I have a large, heavily trafficed, 8 lane highway between me and DC proper, that at least keeps the walking kind of vermin from wandering out west my way...

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 12-21-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Us locals have been calling them the Deadskins for aeons now.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yokels would be more accurate. I've noticed that most Redskins fans used to be Cowboy fans and are probably Ram fans now that the two minute coach is gone from the DC team. I've been an Eagles fan for about 31 years now. So, you may plant kisses on my Eagles loving hiney.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

...my Eagles loving hiney...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bauhaus! Verdammit. BAUHAUS, where are you?

This is your chance boy! Get up, Sit Down, Get up, SIT DOWN!

This is it! First you got to drive to Philly, then mug that ridiculous bastard in the bird suit.

Put that suit on, and Hiram's hiney will love you...

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Dalami - Marlow's salvage and wrecking service has graciously offered to tow away dalem's assorted junked tanks. I think the count is two Mark IVs, a Panther and a Lynx against one M18. Another gaggel of Mark IVs is about to join the choir invisible next turn.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think one of your other M18s is immobilized behind that house, me boyo.

Certes he threw a track or something as opposed to suffering from my ineffective Panzie crews. Cuz as I said in my email to you, you surely took them back to Bitch School (where they belong).

If I didn't loathe you so much I'd compliment you. But I do, so I won't.

[Croda]

Oh mister dalem...what can I say about our game? While it would be proper to say that I'm killing you, it may be more accurate to say that I am capturing you. Sun-Tzu would be so proud. Your men surrender as if they have no faith in their leadership to win the...wait...now I get it. Considering who their leader is, they may as well just give it up.

I am in the lovely position now of routing another platoon of your men. Make no mistake about it, I will hold that VL within 2 turns. That leaves only one left for you, and it would be the one that used to hold your last platoon. You remember that one? The platoon that thought it would be a good idea to charge into the open and engage my men at long range? The platoon that has lost nearly 1/3 of it's number since leaving it's safe position? The platoon that is now under MG42 and large calibre HE fire? The platoon that will soon have arty dropping on its head (yes, I have some left for you)?

Understand, I have an entire platoon that is as yet uncommitted. They alone could outslug what you have left. So why don't you just give up? Why make so many more of your men die? I'll leave it to you to decide, but the loss is now unavoidable. The only questions remaining are how many more of your men are buried on this field? and how do you like your dog cooked? Woof-Woof!

As for other games:

I have tendered my surrender to Marlow in Rune's gamey scenario. We will play again.

Berli is easting my eyes with a fork.

And I hope that Von Shrad develops an allergy to oxygen.

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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[Seanachai]

My apologies to all for our recent dificulties with Mensch. We have been assiduously applying the Brick, but it's like trying to fine-tune a television set with a blindfold on. Each whack just seems to send his madness off in a new direction. Currently we are doing a 'mapping' project in an attempt to determine which zone of Mensch's brain is responsible for what sort of drivel. This involves striking him sharply in different places, then recording the gibberish and behaviours. So far no place he's been hit has resulted in anything like what most of us might regard as 'normal' behaviour. It may well be there is no such place in Mensch's neural structure.

We've also discovered that Mensch's primary confidante, who he's spent hours discussing his mental deterioration with, is 'Frieda', the neighbours dachshund. We are currently working with a 'pet aura reader' to decipher Frieda's knowledge of Mensch. Now, that may sound like flaky idiocy, but consider that the alternative is what Mensch has been posting of late, and 'pet aura reading' doesn't sound that bizarre. What we've gotten so far is that Frieda would prefer being used for medical experimentation to having Mensch speak to her anymore, when asked about him, the first strong impression received from her is 'distemper alert', and that if the pills intended for Mensch hadn't sapped her will, she would have already emigrated to Argentina to escape him.

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[jdmorse]

Does any else find it a little scary that little Hieryomus is already up to 573 posts! We have to increase his ritalin or get better locks on the doors. He has more sightings than "alien greys" hmm wonder if there is a transmitter in his butt.........

From the battlefront.......

Things have really slowed down for the end of year. After dispatching Hiram. Croda, Chuppie and one or two others, then having Meeks swim with the penguins™, and Paw throw himself into some sort of existential angst as only the French can do, I find myself with only a few games.

ThesquireformerlyknownasCroda after failing to topple his Oedipal cravings decided to have another go. The boy must have serious feelings of inadequacy because of late (ever since he created Crodaberg) he has tried to make everything big Big BIG! So now it's a 7500 pts allied attack against my 5000 pts lextruppen. Took the better part of three days just trying to sort out the units. Cruddite is already creating excuses (since he will have to have them later) before turn 1 is completed about how he had made a mistake as to unit selections, yada yada. More feelings of inadequacy.

I am truly enjoying my game with GinnyTom His attacks on my peaceloving and pacific gentlepeople have gone no where. He runs them forward, We wave at them and they runaway, usually leaving a number of them on the grass "feigning sleep" Of note and a signature of how Tommyboys game has been going is that for the first time he purchased Fighter Bombers. Well, the FB FO's have been busy fer sure, smoking crack and molesting domestic farm animals. They directed their compatriots to make a run at the tank over there on the hill. Beautiful bracketing job....of his Sherman Crocidile. Knocked out the gun/FT castrating it for all to see.. Shortly thereafter said tank was kindly put out of it's misery. It's been that kind of game. Now if he didn't have that M26 rumbling forward, I'd be a little more sanguine, but then he'll probably throw a thread. Did I hear, "autosurrender"?

IamreallybeginningtoloatheMarlowe has pulled off a gutsy move. what frosts me is that I anticipated it, Hell, I set it up and got pimped by it. The far edge had a gap in the woods. I pulled my armor toward the middle of the map and snuck and hid a panzerschreck into a building that he'd have to drive past. I also then set my two PzIV's to reverse course and come hidden into hull down to pop what ever came thru. Well Kurtz'z nightmare bites on my little trap, sending two TD's roaring thru the gap. My PS targets one TD, which then boggs at extreme range in the fog, so the shot misses. In the mean time the other TD just waltz's past and my guys wave merrily while they prepare to shoot again into the thick fog at the TD far in the distance. And my PZ's? They are too busy picking their collective nozzles to notice this mad assed dash right past them. Then since their turrets are slow as molasses they get popped in the flank and the rear as the TD putts along. Fie I say. So it's infantry time.

ConubistheDogfacedone has indeed revealed what is on the other side of the hill. Unfortunetly for him it was revealed by the posthumous report of my scotting unit. Sort of like Midway. The PBY has spotted the enemy carrier van, before a surprise attack can be launched. The results should be the same. Torpedo squadron 8 is on the way but it will be the dauntless' that do the damage.

Finally Scratchimself is attempting to probe. Progress has been made, albeit slowly against my extreme left flank,which had been held by a FT team and a panzerschreck. I think an arty barrage immobilized one (perhaps his only) tank. The probe seems to have met a calcified blockage. Does our hero have the tools to proceed farther. Only time will tell.

JD,Esq

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram

[This message has been edited by jdmorse (edited 12-21-2000).]

[jshandorf]

Now its time for: GAME UPDATES

Crud-da: In our big battle Crud-da has bought a T26 Super Pershing. For all that is godly and good this sodden bugger has to go off and but some super tank. And then he actually thinks I am gonna square off my Panthers with it! Shaa! Right! Get a move on you gimpy bastard before I get board and start using my arty on you for spite.

In our little battle Croda has NO Infantry left to speak of but he does has about 5 AFVs which are roaming about in the fog. Kind of fun actually. I should win this one but not by a huge margin. Oh Well.

Marl-butt: You lucky little F'ing bastard. What chicken and on what altar do you sacrifice to get such breaks? If things couldn't swing your way more than pedophile in a playground. Damn you!

Seanachai: Yes, no silly twisting of his name today because you see I feel sorry for the poor bastard. His men are scattered his crews run for the hills. His defense of the town lay in ruins at his feet. A smoldering pile of crap is what his battle plan turned into and I just don't have the heart to make fun of it any longer. This battle is going to be lopsided since I have so handedly taken him apart.

Herr Obutt: You sand bagging fudger! Send me a turn so I can win this battle! You know it's over. Once I take out your last STuH victory shall be mine. It's only a matter of time and your stalling makes me grow angry.

Chup-pie: Still think your winning? Sigh... If you could actually send me the RIGHT return files and not the previous ones we might actually finish this battle before your Queen Mum dies and proceeds to fertilize some flower bed somewhere. Get with it you greasy, mop head. We all know you watch TV just so you can see boobies and that you only get CM turns out after you run out of Kleenex.

Hair-Palm: Man are you gonna die. I am really gonna enjoy this one. Your arty falls as unpredictably and on target as blind man could piss in a bucket. You are going down! (Sit down, Bauhaus!)

Dalem: Sh*t, Man! Elephants have given birth faster than you attack! Christ, it's all I can do to keep awake during our movies! I just might have to resort to cigarette burns to make it through till the end which feels like it will never come.

Moriarty: All I have seen is his arty drop uselessly around me. His men continue to hide and he refuses to fight me. I hope the truth isn't that he just hasn't deployed any forces in the area that I am attacking. GO figure though.. with a record like Moriarty's one could be a pimply faced nerd in a room filled with Catholic girls and have more hope.

Gerbil-toy: Soon we will lock horns in the heat of battle! Wait a minute that sounded kind of kinky... Hmmmm...

You Suck!

Jeff

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I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 12-21-2000).]

[Croda]

For the record, jshandorffffffffffff's Panther's are commanded by near-sighted kindergarten flunkies from the town where Germany invented toxic waste and fed it to the children to see if they could be used as streetlights. A veteran player should know better than to trust the ID on a tank 2,000 meters away.

But just for argument's sake, if it was a Super P, would you just keep backing away you Super Pansy? or are you going to engage at some point? AND GET JOHN WAYNE GACY OUT OF THAT DAMNABLE BELL TOWER!

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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[dalem]

Hmm.

Cromag: I am certainly tempted to surrender, but I'll have to see the results of the next turn or so, if only to piss you off more.

Marlowbrow: What everybody else said - you paid someone, you suck, and you will pay for your bold and silly actions.

JShandjob: You will die soon enough. Patience.

PeterBleater: I think we're on hold until he gets his equipment plugged back in.

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Cromag: I am certainly tempted to surrender, but I'll have to see the results of the next turn or so, if only to piss you off more.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Surrendering will piss me off. I very much want to stop every last man of yours into the ground.

There is a big Spleen-Ball game scheduled for right after the battle. The plan is this: My men will split into two teams. All the best players will form a team called 'The Deadskins' and will suck royally. The rest of the men will form a team called 'The Eagles' and will do really well and just as everyone is excited, they'll **** their pants and piss everyone off. But first, we need your spleens, so please offer them up. Of course, I could always use the spleen from your dog...

Woof-Woof!

------------------

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Surrendering will piss me off. I very much want to stop every last man of yours into the ground.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, if this is some sort of "Puhleeze, Brer Wolf, don' trow me inna dat briar patch ober dere" challenge then you may get your wish - I have seen the forces arrayed against me and they are mighty. Their commander may be a corpse-pranging bum-wiper, but they can sure spew lots of death around. I will possibly look forward to a rematch, if I think I can stand the stench again.

If you feel the need to continue to abuse my dog then so be it - can't be much worse than what I've already done to him.

[dalem]

double post, sorry.

[This message has been edited by dalem (edited 12-21-2000).]

[Marlow]

On a slow moving section of the Schloss Peng, a the low sound of a muffled engine is barely audible over the bursting of gas bubbles rising from the depths below. Marlow, aboard the dingy 'Ol' Pisspot' returns victorious from battle with PT 212. The glow from the burning and sinking patrol boat is visible in the distance. The ears of her Captain hang on a string around Marlow's neck.

Woo Hoo. My first win in the 'pool!

Sir Lorak ,

Marlow - Win

Croda - Lose

Details to follow.

What was that Sir Lorak? I'm not in the lists? What's going on here? … rune, you good for nothing betagoof! How can you sponsor a squire and not see to it that I'm on in the sacred lists of the pool? Once again you are shirking your responsibilities, much as you hid from Morse behind the Scroll of NDA. Just for that, I'm keeping Croda's ears for myself. Pull your head out, and maybe I'll give you Morse's, seeing as you won't play him yourself.

Look what happened last time you tried to weasel out of your duty. You ordered PawBroon to play me in your place after I failed to show proper respect, and the Frenchman was so terrified (with good reason I might add) that he fled for the hills nary to be seen again.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

If I didn't loathe you so much I'd compliment you. But I do, so I won't.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I know that all is right with the world when I see much outpouring of hate and derision directed my way. It warms the cockles of my small stony heart. But I think I should set a few things strait:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Marl-butt: You lucky little F'ing bastard. What chicken and on what altar do you sacrifice to get such breaks? If things couldn't swing your way more than pedophile in a playground. Damn you!

You Suck!

Jeff

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't use chickens, I use carrion birds such as Eagles for my sacrifice. Really a sort of worthless ****bird, Eagles, not terribly bright either.

And it may look like luck to you my tuber brained friend, but examine the issue a little more closely.

Exhibit 1: On the first turn, we had a little gun duel. You, 1 Tiger. Me, 2 Jacksons. Odds are I get the Tiger with at least one of the Jacksons, but in fact, luck was on your side and you cheated, killing one Jackson. The other has a failure of nerve and pops smoke. No matter, I press on.

Exhibit 2: I hide my Jackson behind some trees, but nearby infantry watch your Tiger. The moment you pull it out of its covering position, I pull my TD into a spot where it has several good lanes of fire that divide your setup zone into several parts. Imagine my surprise when your tiger shows its backside, and trundles off away from me, right across one of my firing lanes. Bada bing, bada BOOM. No luck here; like taking candy from a baby.

Exhibit 3: You actually had a very nice ambush position for your StuG; however, your timing was lousy. You sprung your trap when your track was head on with TWO SHERMANS AND TWO TANK DESTROYERS! res ipsa loquitur.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse:

IamreallybeginningtoloatheMarlowe has pulled off a gutsy move. what frosts me is that I anticipated it, Hell, I set it up and got pimped by it. The far edge had a gap in the woods. I pulled my armor toward the middle of the map and snuck and hid a panzerschreck into a building that he'd have to drive past. I also then set my two PzIV's to reverse course and come hidden into hull down to pop what ever came thru. Well Kurtz'z nightmare bites on my little trap, sending two TD's roaring thru the gap. My PS targets one TD, which then boggs at extreme range in the fog, so the shot misses. In the mean time the other TD just waltz's past and my guys wave merrily while they prepare to shoot again into the thick fog at the TD far in the distance. And my PZ's? They are too busy picking their collective nozzles to notice this mad assed dash right past them. Then since their turrets are slow as molasses they get popped in the flank and the rear as the TD putts along. Fie I say. So it's infantry time.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mr. Morse, I recognize that you legal eagles are skilled at distorting the facts, so the jury may be confused by your closing argument. Now I present my rebuttal.

I saw your little Panzershrecki boys in that building, I just knew that you would have a tough time hitting two M18s going full speed. If one hadn't bogged, I would have just killed your panzers that much quicker. Your panzers weren't just sittin around either, I had them tied up with my Bazooka teams and that TD to the front. It would have been a classic flanking maneuver, but you don't have any flank left on that side of the board. Only that PZ team and some broken and demoralized braut munchers. Don't worry, we'll take good care of them on the POW work farms in the U.S.

One question though. How in the hell did you get so much friggin infantry? I keep a killin them, and its like "just shoot them, well make more."

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[This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 12-21-2000).]