THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

I think we should follow jd's lead when it comes to Peng Thread, next incarnation, title thereof. "THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWN UNDER" is so macho and 70's. We need something fresh, modern, stylish, something reflecting our 21st Century values (admittedly little different from our 16th Century values, but nevertheless).

I have taken the liberty of spending £20,000 on the services of a corporate image consultant, who has appraised the message the Peng Thread is seeking to convey, and has produced for us a stunning new title. He has agreed to sell us the rights to this for only a further £50,000, and I think you'll agree that's money well spent. Behold the fruit of his labours:

pC

The thinking behind this is so complex I can't begin to relate it to you. However, to merely scratch the surface, I think you can see that the basic components are the words "Peng" and "Challenge". This is truly a revolution in the history of the thread, and it will surely propel us into a new era.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I spit on your elitist aristocracy, David. You are the most evil and vile of people to drag your high mindedness in here and parade it about like some gigantic inflated Barney in a Macy's parade.

Well I hope your damn inflatable demon spawn blows away and impales itself on something sharp. Preferably your head come to think of it.

Damn you, David. Damn you and your purple dinosaur.

Jeff

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I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 01-11-2001).]

[stevetherat]

Hey Mormon, you can climb back into your basket too. Read the manual before you climb out again.

The meek shall inherit the Earth? Not you Elisa, all you'll be getting is a festering cucumber installed into your wrinkly (*) eye.

Go back home and ask your guard to lock you back in. Fart.

[Mace]

As for the next thread title:

FU

This is the credo that I live by in my career as public servant.

You want it today? F*ck You!

Do I care? F*ck You!

So you're a tax payer and thus expect quick and efficient service? F*ck You!

And I think it summarises the pool quite well in two simple letters

Mace [no consultants were harmed in the making of this discourse]

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 01-11-2001).]

[stevetherat]

Mouse

Remind me again who won the last game...

Oh yes, England.

You upside-down-wombat-shagging-digeridoo

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat:

Ooo! Ahh! Ahh!! Ooo! AAAHHH! AAAAAH! [scratches ass smells finger] Oooo! Oooo! Ahhh! Ahhh!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Can't you people read the sign?!

DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS

It only aaaaaaaaagitates them and then they start jumping about swingin' their arms about making the awful noise. Just quit it!

Jeff

P.S. Uh oh, Mace. You did it now. He's looking at you. Quick! Take off the sheep suit! I think it is doing something to him! Look out, he chargin'!

[This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 01-11-2001).]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

P.S. Uh oh, Mace. You did it now. He's looking at you. Quick! Take off the sheep suit! I think it is doing something to him! Look out, he chargin'!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, I have a better idea!

I'll put the sheep suit ON HIM! Then by the time I've finished with him he won't be in any position (except worn out and prone) to come back here and annoy us!

Don't thank me, it's the least I can do.

Mace [doing a community service for the benefit of the pool]

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

Mother****er! I hit reply instead of edit. I've been away too ****ing long.

[This message has been edited by Elijah Meeks (edited 01-11-2001).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'll ****ing second that...

Too short? not enough taunting included?

well...... gimme a second and I'll give this taunting lark a shot.

*Deep breath*

Who the **** really cares if have been away too ****ing long? did any of us sad bastards who sit here night after night reading this **** really miss you? Did we ****, and as for some posts being too short, who the **** really cares? Short, sweet, and to the point is so much better than reading some of the long winded, boring, poor excuse for taunting ****e I have read on here recently.

And if thats not enough SHUT THE **** UP.

And now......... I shall go wash my mouth out. ( boy did that feel good)

P.S.GO RAIDERS GO.

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat:

Croney

Clearly my presence here has made you uneasy. Some deductions:

1. You fear the unknown

2. You scare at the slightest crack of a twig

3. You are Rodentist

4. You are so *ucking scared to loose to YET ANOTHER person that you are on a self-invested mission cull any threat to reduce your already lower-than-earthworm-manure position you proudly boast.

Pick a number. Any number beginning with 4.

So Yoda, come get me. That is if your wiper-of-imprisoned-paedophiliac-dwarven-butmuncher's-anal-pipes job will allow. Pansy.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

48. You smell

403. You're a fecking moron.

4726. I don't like the way you keep trying to touch PawBroon.

40889. You're a pestering little squint whose beady eyes and long hairless tail are beyond repulsive. You make my eyes bulge and my stomach retch. I feel no real hatred, no pity, only loathing. I am uncomfortable with the mere fact that something as vile as yourself wastes perfectly good ATP that could be burned by a contributing member of society.

Choose anyone starting with a 4? I choose 40889.

If your taunting improves above calling me a 'Pansy' I may be able to schedule you a match with Wildman.

As for the sig file, Meeksy, my half-brother (yes, my father did shag your mommy), it stays until I hand NZer his own battered head. I'll meet my end of the bargain if only so that he meets his...and boy do I have some good stuff for that sig.

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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! -

THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO.

MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ

Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!!

must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

Short, sweet, and to the point is so much better than reading some of the long winded, boring, poor excuse for taunting ****e I have read on here recently.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And pray tell what else does this apply to, eh? hmmmm? Well? Come on with it?

Yep that's right! Waxing! Seen it a hundred times. Poor girl.

Jeff

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I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[Check6]

Okay, JD. I have taken far too much crap from you already. Shall we make a wager? If you manage to beat me, (unlikely; you post like somebody masking a bit of a CM inferiority complex... panzer envy?), I will consider myself "in it for the long hall." I will probably find myself in the position of to Cesspool Whipping Boy, but I'll stay in this damnable place for the long "hall". Should I give you the ass-beating you so richly deserve, I will have the perogative to leave immediately, should I so choose. And you'll have to go lure another whipping boy into your fetid lair.

And should my offer be declined, your brand-new whipping boy is gone as of now. You'll probably have to answer to Croda for that one; he seems to have taken a strange kind of liking to me, but hey... that's your choice.

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

And pray tell what else does this apply to, eh? hmmmm? Well? Come on with it?

Yep that's right! Waxing! Seen it a hundred times. Poor girl.

Jeff

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nahhhhhh waxing is for pansies, Gimme a good old fashioned razor and some nice frothy foam any day.

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Check6:

Okay, JD. I have taken far too much crap from you already. Shall we make a wager? If you manage to beat me, (unlikely; you post like somebody masking a bit of a CM inferiority complex... panzer envy?), I will consider myself "in it for the long hall." I will probably find myself in the position of to Cesspool Whipping Boy, but I'll stay in this damnable place for the long "hall". Should I give you the ass-beating you so richly deserve, I will have the perogative to leave immediately, should I so choose. And you'll have to go lure another whipping boy into your fetid lair.

And should my offer be declined, your brand-new whipping boy is gone as of now. You'll probably have to answer to Croda for that one; he seems to have taken a strange kind of liking to me, but hey... that's your choice.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey! Wait just right there, Mister! There is only ONE whipping boy in this pool and that is Hiram, and he is MY whipping boy! If anybody wants someone for a good whipping they gotta get my permission first. And as for that I don't see any vacancy so piss off you faux whipping boy. Ha!

Hiram has more whipping boy in his little pinky them you do in your whole wretched diseased hide.

Jeff

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I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

Nahhhhhh waxing is for pansies, Gimme a good old fashioned razor and some nice frothy foam any day. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mace, shouldn't you be jumpin' in here with a, "Mmmmmmmmm, frothy foam." comment?

Dammit man, get with it! Do I have to start doing your job for you? Hmmm?

Jeff

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I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[Check6]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hiram has more whipping boy in his little pinky them you do in your whole wretched diseased hide.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'll bet Hiram doesn't squeal when you land a good one on him. I've been known to squeal.

[Kitty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

Mother****er! I hit reply instead of edit. I've been away too ****ing long.

[This message has been edited by Elijah Meeks (edited 01-11-2001).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"...must you insist on posting so many posts of so little value? For the love of god, woman, don't you know there's a simple edit button that would allow you to correct your mistake?" - Elijah Meeks

Kitty

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Hamsters at War!

Chicks With Tanks

Lorak's FTX

"I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka

[Hamstersss]

Well speed it the **** up, Croda, I can't stand reading that poorly written tripe every time I scroll past one of your posts. I think, though, that you have an excellent idea. Stevethe****ingmoronrat (I rarely butcher names, so you should feel proud) should play wildman for the right to be spoken to directly. Frankly, they both seem to be lacking in that certain something necessary to survive in the Pool but maybe, by having the one eat the intestines of the other, we may gain someone of Check6 or even Hiram level.

And Hiram, why the hell are you into such a grunge rock mode? Is it because your Iggles died the death of a thousand whores? McNabb was the legitimate MVP, I'll give you that, but a team needs more than one player. So snap out of it and start being sweet and nice, you pathetic son of a motherless goat.

Not enough bile? Sorry, YK2 took it all. Speaking of which, don't mention anything involving the female body again, all you do is turn this lot of slobbering morons into slobbering moronic 13-year old boys.

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The Thin Red Line doesn't deserve to lick the sweat from my balls let alone demand the cash I would lay down for the DVD version. Seesh. The movie was lame-o! With a capital Hiram.

-Shandorf

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Check6:

I'll bet Hiram doesn't squeal when you land a good one on him. I've been known to squeal.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Squeal? Did you say?

Hiram! Come here and squeal for me boy!

Squeal like a pig! Squeeeeeeeal! [sit down, Bauhaus!]

Jeff

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I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[stevetherat]

Crusty

Scenario:

(little - and far too insignificant to describe here fully - phlegm encrusted boy walks around with his puny single haired chest pushed out, claiming to rule the roost [if that's OK with you, sir {quivering}]). That's your part, I wrote it especially for you.

(OK, this is my bit) "Oi, little - and far too insignificant to describe here fully - phlegm encrusted boy. phuque ewe. You are a PANSY"

(Look lively, this is your part) [runs to his leather-backed mother's shirt tails] "You can't get me! Marm, tell him. Tell him daddy will get him."

(Your leather-backed mother) "Son, I think I better tell you about daddy. You know when I say I love Rover the dog..."

At which point the door closes.

Moral: One day, mongrel, you'll have to face up to your challengers. When you do realise this, It'll be me that's standing over your mother's body, measuring her up for my next pair of Doc Martin's.

[Monte99]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Oh yeah, one more thing.. GO RAIDERS.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The only thing more contemptible than the palsied poseurs who call themselves the Raiders are their simpering fans, who worship at the shrine of mediocrity every Sunday, planting themselves slack-jawed on moldering sofas permanently indented with the shape of their own monstrous behinds. Such cretinous fans know nothing of football, but remain slavishly devoted primarily because the team's color is black, which does not show urine stains.

What freakish circumstances have coincided to bring the hapless Raiders this far? Who can say? We can rule out skill, of course. We can rule out bribery, since the Raiders' prodigious appetite for crack cocaine wouldn't leave enough for a carton of Kools, much less the sort of payoff that might induce a referee to look the other way. We can even rule out divine intervention, since the very existence of this miserable assortment of pedophiles and petty thieves is doubtless an affront to the Living God.

Which leaves blind, idiot luck -- on a scale not seen since any of the grunting swine on this thread last won a game of CM against the AI with only a 50 percent advantage. Fools! Your mindless cheerleading sickens me. Do you not know that luck never gives, but only lends? Very soon your accounts will come due.

The greatest luck of all: that your execrable Raiders, already soiling their silver tights at the admittedly remote prospect of actually having to show up in Tampa, face the only team worse than themselves in the Baltimore Bovines. They call this the Super Bowl? Bah. The Special Olympics regularly fields more raw football talent than this assemblage of spastic marionettes, who couldn't achieve a first down against the Minnesota Vikings if all 22 of them were on the field with light infantry weapons.

I have spoken.

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally blatheredby Monte99 in another thread:

Seems to me the best way to encourage brilliant repartee here is just to leave a complimentary post when somebody adds something particularly clever.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No soup for you.

[jd]

Ahh we have had hamsters, kniggits and now the latest and greatest.......42nd street and/or Times Square

[dalem]

Why don't you all drop the thesauri, dirty Scrabble dictionaries and the NFL playbooks and get back to basics.

To whit:

Cromag: Up yours.

Jshandjob: Up Cromag's.

Marlowbrow: I hate you even more because you're making me hate Hellcats, which heretofore I loved dearly.

nijis: Nice map. You tunneling your way forward or what?

Peterbeater: I re-sent what I think is the last turn. I hope this one sucks less than the schooling Marlowbrow is handing me.

And Meeks, all the lads were so weepy about your absence that I thought I was reading High School yearbooks. You give freebies or something?

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jd:

Ahh we have had hamsters, kniggits and now the latest and greatest.......42nd street and/or Times Square<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, jd, wasn't that an ambulance I saw just drive by?

Giddyup.

Jeff

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I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Check6:

Okay, JD. I have taken far too much crap from you already.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>No you haven't. I have alot more disdain where that came from. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Shall we make a wager? If you manage to beat me, (unlikely; you post like somebody masking a bit of a CM inferiority complex... panzer envy?), I will consider myself "in it for the long hall." I will probably find myself in the position of to Cesspool Whipping Boy, but I'll stay in this damnable place for the long "hall". Should I give you the ass-beating you so richly deserve, I will have the prerogative to leave immediately, should I so choose. And you'll have to go lure another whipping boy into your fetid lair.

And should my offer be declined, your brand-new whipping boy is gone as of now. You'll probably have to answer to Croda for that one; he seems to have taken a strange kind of liking to me, but hey... that's your choice.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>What you may not realize upChuckles is that I sponsored Croda, shag his mum and beat the snot out of him. To have him take an interest in you is like telling Peter you feel baaaaaaaaaaaad today. Stay or go it doesn't matter to me. But can you amuse me. Well since you obviously cannot do it here there is only one place to find out. Look for it tonight.

I suppose it is our sacred duty to take pity on the haplessly deformed and genetically altered malaprop that you have shown yourself to be.

Why do I think that when this is over I will feel dirty like being seen sneaking into a 42 St peep show? But then Croda and Hiram are already there I suppose. No doubt Bauhaus is the wizened gnome behind the dirty and smudged glazing, the smoke from his cigarette whispering around his yellowed and cracked fingertips to pool momentarily around his head. His beady rheummy and squinty eyes carrying no sign of sentience tracks Chucky escorting him down the long hall the cackling rising from some tubercular cavern as he slides the key to room #12 under the window.

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiramy

[This message has been edited by jd (edited 01-11-2001).]

[David Aitken]

I think all this discussion of hull rotation brings up an important point: If you're trying to attack someone, all you need is a friend to distract them! You approach your target, who readies themselves for a frontal attack and keeps their thickest armour facing you. Then your friend approaches from the flank, and your target turns to face this new threat (in v1.05 they would only have turned their head to look). Now that their weaker flank armour is exposed, you can proceed to punch them in the kidneys! If, however, they ignore the flanking threat and remain facing you, your friend can punch them in the kidneys instead!

The CM forum is such a wealth of useful information.