THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

[Check6]

But what if it turns out that I'm the greatest CM player there ever was, and it takes me well over three years to learn that because it takes nearly that long to find a game against one of la creme de la creme? Come on. Play a game with me, and either I'll find out I'm the greatest CM player there ever was or you'll get a nice ego boost. Most likely the former.

STRONG LANGUAGE:

...butt-head.

Edited for verb tense

[This message has been edited by Check6 (edited 01-10-2001).]

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Well let's hope it's not the drunken Robert Mitchum sheriff from El Dorado.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I loved that look on his face after John Wayne pranged him in the head with an iron fryin' pan.

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"Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line

[Chupacabra]

Assorted wankers:

I've come down with something nasty which involves a lot of waiting by the toilet and tooth brushing. Damn Brits poisoned me, I'm sure of it.

I'll try to process turns as quickly as possible, but given my average turnaround time on files at any rate, you should hardly notice a difference.

Now go stick your heads up your asses and wiggle a bit. I hate you all for being well.

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Soy super bien soy super super bien soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabra:

Assorted wankers:

I've come down with something nasty which involves a lot of waiting by the toilet and tooth brushing.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Those social diseases are difficult to deal with. We understand but cannot empathize with your plight. Be sure to see your local physician and I'm sure some Pennicilin will make you right as rain again.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Moriarty]

Well, well if it isn't a grand reunion in the ol' pool.

PushBroom, it's your move. Let me know if you need me to re-send the last turn. I'm probably the only one you had a chance at beating.

And E.coli Meeks has returned. How nice. I feel a sudden need to use the toilet ... terlet for you Easterners.

And last but certainly not least, GoJoanna king of the tongue-flickers. We are starting up a game of Last Defense ... well known to veterans of the Beta War.

He has promised much retribution on me for Operation Lizard as I was ratted out via an e-mail from a 'pooler who shall remain nameless (Hiram).

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"Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line

[This message has been edited by Moriarty (edited 01-10-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Moriarty (edited 01-10-2001).]

[Lorak]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>by check6:

sorry but even the quote feature refuses to spawn my drivil<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

First: I'll say "your welcome". I know you are giving great thanks that someone as great as I have even acknoledged your presence.

Second: What the hell does being good at CM have to do with the cesspool? NOTHING!

Thats right you stupid tart. Being good at CM has no bearing on one's status or inclusion into the pool. You either have the ability to throw out clever insults and insane literary references... or you don't.

You... (whatever the hell a check6) have neither. You have shown no taunting ability. You have made no cleaver references to obscure books or works of art. You my friend are about as usefull as the piece of toliet paper stuck in some fat wino's arse.

So please, do something, hell anything, or just get the hell out.

Die alot now

Lorak the loathed

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"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

Combatmissionclub

Lorak's FTX

and for Kitty's sake

=^..^=

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Check6:

I suck big time

STRONG LANGUAGE:

...butt-head.

Edited for verb tense

[This message has been edited by Check6 (edited 01-10-2001).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't know why I'm wasting my time responding to this post.

Your ego is bigger than your ability. You are not welcome here. This is not the CM den where you put your feet up on the couch and ask for a game. "Hey Guy's, could you pass the Cheesy Poofs" Wrong

This is more like the landfill you would find on Staten Island. We are a fricken landmark, little boy. We call ourselve the Cesspool because idiots like you float in and throw challenges like Croda dispenses with farts. Unpleasant but forgettable.

You suck and you're funny looking. Not funny "ha ha" More like funny "I was a leper at the age of 5 funny"

Now you can go away and complain about the Cesspool not being hospitable to the mentally handicapped.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Check6]

Let's determine the operative word in the phrase, "the bloody Peng challenge thread". The, a lowly article, is not it. Bloody is a meaningless intensive. We shall save Peng and challenge for last. Thread is most likely not the operative word because everything on this board is or is part of a thread. The choice is between Peng, used as an adjective, and challenge, a noun. This thread is obviously not primarily about Mr. Peng, although my all-inclusive challenge is aimed as much at him as any other of you miserable slime dwellers. By elimination, we have shown conclusively that challenge is the operative word of this thread's title. And I have put forth just that.

[Marlow]

Letting your Inner Croda get the better of you Hiram?

[Goanna]

Alrightly then, let's GET IT ON! How about some of you recto-cranial inversionaries that deluged me with CM spam get your fingers out of our dates and shoot them turns over. Marlow, on your bicycle. Moriarty, don't make me come over there. Start running now or you will be ground into greasy chunklets by my uberhamsters. Hiram keep those measly 300 pt turns coming along with more of that shiny happy talk that makes my teeth gnash.

Chop chop, my piss boys

[jd]

I call down shuning on checkpatootee until or unless he can figure out what is going on here. His feelings or sense of fairness (ha!) seem outranged. So let's ignore and shun, this means you Hiram, no more playing with stray kittens, Audrey wouldn't like it.

[Hiram Sedai]

jd, you leave Audrey alone.

I woke this morning with one nerve, and you are getting on it. I would challenge you to a PBEM, but I am behind the turns I owe already. So be satisfied with the finger I'm waving at the monitor right now. You sir, are number one in my book.

You and Mark IV can go on your date and be sure to wear your rainbow pins denoting your life choice.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[jd]

Yo Grenouille Faced Boy I look forward to finishing my filleting of you poor troops. Now I figure you owe me a turn, if not or if it went into the boullibasse, let me know and I will dispatch it and you forthwith tout de suite.

Lizardbutt expect a setup per our previous arrangement. Hell if I remember the conditions so since I am a lawyer I'll cheat and screw you and send ya the bill.

And a fine Howdy Do dee to our femme fatales Kittywithclaws and the always bewitching Emma Now remember, no lace or manners, yer with the scrungiest misbegoten fools who ever crossed cyber space, it's nice to have both of you back in the neighborhood.

[jd]

Hiramsomanygamesbehind anytime manchild, just like Lenny Small you'll find that there is no Wrath like mine when you speak of Mice and Hiram.

So when you feel lucky, or suicidal, you know where to find me.

Cute tyke

jd

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Check6:

Let's determine the operative word in the phrase, "the bloody Peng challenge thread". <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Let's determine why you were born. Jeezuz. All the words are operative around here, and they're very sharp and probably infectious.

"Bloody" is a nice expletive, used here for local flavor, a souvenier from our Australian sojourn with some nice extra entendres. It stems from "the blood of Christ" and is suitably profane for the environs, though nearly any blood will satisfy this lot. Why not start a thread suggesting they put it in the game?

"Peng" is not an "about", "Peng" is a "because of". He is no longer with us, but some say He Will Come Again. So what. He was last seen coughing up green globs of stuff that very closely resemble the folks in the treasured photos in your wallet.

Speaking of dull writing, why must you tell us in the middle of your summary what you are saving until last? That's not a literary device, it's syntactical spam. Shuddup until I finish.

It's a thread because it's The Thread. If it was just "The Bloody Peng Challenge", period, it would be a singularity, hanging out in BBS space with nowhere to go.

But this is a great honking 6000+ post thread (I lost count!), known and acknowledged by all, a single thread long enough to weave a dirigible-sized sock sufficient to contain Meeks' delusions, Croda's losses, and Hiram's shame, which no other single thread could ever hope to accomplish.

And it got there without this absurd literary misfire of a bounced Check. I suggest you go into a dark closet somewhere and practice until you can make a real contribution, and become a discredit to the community.

[Bastables]

Jerry Boy: We're playing hide and seek in the snow, for some reason he decided to probe my recon move which is stated in the operations briefing in a apparent gamey manner. I call gerbilboy a cheat from now on and will annoy him with repeated calls that he is tampering with the ball He’s also playing the Americans, which confused me at first because his name is Germanboy. Another bit of evidence to show that he’s a duplicitous cheating cur

Goanna aka Lizzie the transvestite show lizard once saw fit to accuse the entire nation of New Zealand of illiteracy, after being on this board for a considerable length of time and watching other Kiwis he could be correct. None the less I'm defending in the 'hedges' so he'll be sure to die alot soon. Therefore proving that my gun is bigger than his once and for all!

Old girls smelling filcher aka OGSF, well it’s raining and we're accusing each other of cheating because our men are dieing from unseen gunmen. Being the proper chap I am I've told him to surrender to me at turn 10 in a 30 turn game so my men will stop shooting at his foul Scottish hide. What a jolly and proper fellow I am.

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Absolutely Shatter, you have been completely misunderstood. When Andreas, Chuppy and Peter posted pictures of themselves at the IWM I took the earliest opportunity to complement Chuppy on how hot he looked in that T-shirt. Of course the next time an appropriate thread about the front bogey wheel on the Matilda II came up I skillfully insinuated a subtle remark about what a spunk PeterNZ was and a redhead too!

But alas, shatter, everyone thought I was a dickhead as well.

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Muddying the waters as usual.

by Simon Fox

Mr T says "I pity the foo!"

[Check6]

JD, that checkpatootee comment was too much. You really pushed me over the edge. I'm sure that you are a yellow-belly coward of the worst kind, so I must put it on the public record that my challenge is in your inbox at this moment.

If the opponents won't come to Checkie, Checkie must find the opponents.

[BFCElvis]

Lorak, I played Peng in two TCP/IP games Monday night..the second one I won 56 to 36 in a tough minor victory for me.....The first...My best score ever 99 to 1 in a Peng turn 6 surrender. He is still crying to me about how he paniced when I wiped out an entire platoon in under 30 seconds.

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What do we do with a terrible liar? Well, Great liars we send into the clergy.

Good liars we groom for politics. Moderate liars we supply with sherrif's badges

and guns, and the bad liars, well, we make them heroin whores. So what the hell

do we do with the Terrible Liars? Well, it seems we turn them into physicists

called "chrisl." Peng

[jd]

checkpatotee indeed. No Bold italics for you . May I draw your attention to something my good friend Marlow posted that he claims I wrote, but Alzheimers and all prevents my authenticating it.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Please read the following advice originally posted by jd long long ago in a Cesspool far far away:

...As for the general "I taunt you all, give me a game", I am afraid you ceberal cortex will be unable to handle the depth of our ennui as far as you are concerned.As Gertrude Stein observed about Oakland that there is no there, there applies equally well to you. I have fondness for youngsters such as your self, and as a simple country lawyer,let me give you some advice. Pick out a victim as a pride of lions does, concentrating on the weak, except Hiram, he doesn't count. Then wade in as a berserker, a rampage of invectitude and bilious spew that splatter the walls and on lookers. Use some interesting language. The lingua franca of the pool is transcendant in it's vitupertude, allusion and if possible alliteration. [no sing songs though]

Like a zen penitent seeking admission to the temple thru the ordeal of tangaryo, so you must be driven from the pool and we shall judge your mettle.

So in the words of another immortal, BUGGER OFF

JD, scum sucking esq.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>and as Lorak, Sage of Sages also pointed out to you from his great compassion <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thats right you stupid tart. Being good at CM has no bearing on one's status or inclusion into the pool. You either have the ability to throw out clever insults and insane literary references... or you don't.

You... (whatever the hell a check6) have neither. You have shown no taunting ability. You have made no cleaver references to obscure books or works of art. You my friend are about as usefull as the piece of toliet paper stuck in some fat wino's arse.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Now it seems to me that the denizens of this place, in their infinite capacity took pity on your pathetic attempts to raise your noise above the surface. Look at how you repay our kindness. This then is your bane, your heartfelt taunt that rips the bowels of earth asunder and upon her shattered visage is etched the pain of the ages, and I quote <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> I'm sure that you are a yellow-belly coward of the worst kind,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh my cut to the quick I am, Fain would I swoon, a touch sir, a palpable touch. I am killed [exeunt to applause] So go away son you bother me, I am not even honored you picked me, quite the opposite "Oh will not some one remove this bane for me?"

[Check6]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh my cut to the quick I am, Fain would I swoon, a touch sir, a palpable touch. I am killed [exeunt to applause] So go away son you bother me, I am not even honored you picked me, quite the opposite "Oh will not some one remove this bane for me?"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Then I must revert to eighteenth-century English and fourth-grade grammar to be accepted here? MIA punctuation and middle-of-sentence capitalization are the vogue in these parts?

Having said that, I now have this to say. James Dennis Morse, (a little bit of guesswork there), we must lay aside all juvenile nitpicking and settle our dispute on the field of glorious battle. Still I await a setup from you. It has been three quarters of an hour, and still I wait.

[Bastables]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

Lorak, I played Peng in two TCP/IP games Monday night..the second one I won 56 to 36 in a tough minor victory for me.....The first...My best score ever 99 to 1 in a Peng turn 6 surrender. He is still crying to me about how he paniced when I wiped out an entire platoon in under 30 seconds.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bah you seem to have forgotten my spanking of you in a TC/IP game where I asked for British computer choosen and you gave me smelly UAS'er. And I still beat you although I never was able to light that hulk PIV/Tiger on fire.

[OGSF]

Great festering gob sores! Ah dinnae think Ah coulda foond a more turrrgid an' aimless crew o' snot gobblin' sporran stains an mah grrreat uncle Andy's 17 poond colostomy bag! (Tha wee lassies excepted, o' course...)Where do Ah begin?

Meeks ye fetid spread o' sun warmed vomit, ya owe mah a turn....Ah need tha win sae dinnae delay. Welcome back, good tae see ye, noo go an' have a ****e an' fall back an it.

Hiram! Af'n Ah had a severe cold, wi' copious amoonts o' runny mucus tae spare, an' Ah disembowelled a common field mouse sae Ah could poke at's entrails up mah liquified nostril, yoo'd still be a feckin' bag o' Croda farts' an' worms. Send mah turrrn, Ah need tha win.

Lorak, Ah once lakked ye, but tha' were lang ago. Noo Ah hate ye, an' ye stankin' wee regular troops fraim Hades. They die, an' they die...boot they ne'er disappear. There are certain trrraditions tae be upheld, an' yoo losing as won o' thaim. Tae change tha rules an start tae win noo is borderin' on cheatin'. An' what aboot tha wee bairns? Widdnae someone thank aboot tha wee bairns???

StukaNukaPukaPants, ye owe mae a turrrn. An' diddnae be thankin' ye gonna win agin wi' yer bushwackin' tactics more suited tae the laks o' General Pantyliner. Ah'm gwinnae eviscerate ye! (Tha's mah noo word, eviscerate).

Mace, ye kin go an' read ye fortune an Robert Morley's stretch marks. An at ye'll divine ye inevitable topplement, skankin' jeeps runnin' aboot mah rear or no. Oh, Ah hate ye as well.

Speedy as bin losin' has armour lak he had at tae spare, an' noo he began's tae knock oot mine. But Ah will win, fer Ah'm brilliant an' he's no'.

Nijis as aboot tae get his spotty sand caked arse kacked aboot tha map, unless he rips mah bold offensive tae shreds. Too early tae tell.

Seanachai......yer no' dead yet are ye, boot ye kin see at comin'....

Bastables, at's dark, mah men are dyin' an' Ah cannae see squat. Ah thank Ah have ye where Ah want ye....

An' nooo..., tae the dull clumps o' porridge tha' ha' foond their way antae the One Troo Thread, sod off! Ye makin' mah sick wi' yer pathetic mewlings an' unimaginative tripe....ye are a drooby pack o' festerin' fozgoblians, a fanarcklin' bunch o' leprous scabs, an' in case ye missed at..sod off! An' Ah'm nae gwintae name names, cos Ah've nae paid attention enough tae remember thaim, but here's a special message just fer yoo, Jimmy.....SOD OFF!

The rest o' ye can pull ye bum flaps oop o'er ye haids an' pucker up fer each other.... (the wee lassies excepted, o' course).

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

[Goanna]

Righteo then counsellor, that's 1500 points of allied-eating krauts for me, a map from Rune and an equal quantity of brief filers for you. And of course that list of good mods I should get to make my dudes look spiffy on my iMac DV.

Who's going to purchase for us, or should we just (cough cough) trust one another not to look?

[GI Tom]

Hoo Hoo..markymark and his traveling sentence structurers cut off checkie's dangling participle on that one! 2 Cesspoolian style points you miserable slob. I knew if it came down to some type of sentence structure/grammatical debate, you would rear (sit down Bauhaus) that fat, ugly CM head of yours. Now go back into your corner and talk to the little people on your shoulder.

Anyway, onto to other stuff. I got tied up at work before and couldn't complete my target taunt to fill my last PBEM slot. (No, I said slot..s-l-o-t Bauhuas, not slut, sit the hell back down)

First off though, Meeks has the right of it, the Raiders are nothing short of greatness and we'll see what happens this weekend. (This doesn't mean we're taking long, hot shower's together Meeks, so get over it.) Also, your not worthy of those tickets you have so you should just send them to someone who could use them..say..uhh..oh..me. Wildman is obviously confused as usually pitiful Charger fans are.

Now, onto my taunt. HEY HIRAM, if your not too busy humping cats, croda or mormon wives legs, I'll make you quiver worse than chuppy's stomach is presently. You'll feel the sting of defeat similar to the phlegm firing out of Peng's throat. Your no good, sorry, philosophical, I'm smarter than everyone else's arse will be handed to you after I've stomped on your inner croda, outer Peng and lower Senachai. Even the Evil Berli will shudder when he sees the short work I'll make of you. (Speaking of Berli, I'm still whuppin' him in our game)

Don't expect wit, intelligence nor sarcasm during our PBEM turns if you accept, just a good, sound arse beating. It's CM school time and I'm gonna learn ya. If you even dream about kicking my ass in CM, you should just wake up and apologize to me. I'm going to drop you like a bad habit.

With that being said, I shall await a confirmation of our little sing song. I hope that you can overcome the most likely fear you are feeling now and take it upon yourself to merely say "Yes, I too want to play the Greatness that is GI Tom"

Don't worry, if you set it up and send it, I won't complain like Joe Shaw. I will play the battle as is, but, as everyone here knows, if you win, you cheated. It's painfully that simple.

Now, the rest of you go about your pathetic little lives. Anyone not a Raider's fan should jump on the bandwagon now.

For I am,

GI Tom

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To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of weird sandwich.

[Hamstersss]

I like Checkie (mainly because he called himself Checkie). He lacks in the technical skills involved in taunting but he's not an absolute, gutless moron. Speaking of which, jd, are you jdmorse? If so, that would explain some things. Yes indeedy.

I'm glad to see Frenchie's back, it warms my frozen jewels. Hey, monseur, I'm sorry I took advantage of you back when we were in the Alps. And your girlfriend. And your dog. What can I say, I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Geier, I dearly hope that some day you can recount the tale of the hacky-sack of Krakow. And I would also be indebted to any fine scenario designer that would recreate such a thing so that I may be utterly annihilated by the aforementioned Old Firm. I picture a massive amount of regular and veteran American troops with low ammo stuck in a city as an unstoppable army of Elite Germans methodically wipe them out.

So where the hell is Peng and Seanachai, anyhoo? Shouldn't they be showing up for this reunion episode?

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The Thin Red Line doesn't deserve to lick the sweat from my balls let alone demand the cash I would lay down for the DVD version. Seesh. The movie was lame-o! With a capital Hiram.

-Shandorf