Hiram Sedai Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 This dialogue has become tiresome. I'm waiting for a turn from you while JdMorse and 10 other people are waiting for a turn from me. and the beat goes on... ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal [This message has been edited by Hiram Sedai (edited 11-30-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 T'was the day before December, And up on the page, Was not my familiar Peng thread, which got me enraged. My job, you see, It had taken me out, To the land of Ribs and Elvis, And to be "CM without". Though the ribs were quite good, And B.B. King's Blues Bar was "way cool", I find the "Bloody Peng Thread" taken down under, By some sheep-shagging fool. I shall not read The first nine pages of drivel Where I assume you all mewled, And moaned, and sniveled. Post Bauhaus, Post Croda, Post Pawbroom, Post Seanachai. Post Moriarty, Post Goanna, Post Hiram, As will I. Post barbs and lances, Of cruel-hearted words, To see if an aussie pool, Can handle this herd. To make sure we get started, In the right vein you see, I offer some words, To those playing against me. Crawdad, you pinhead, Your troops are toasted, I'll cut out their entrails, And have them all roasted. Shandorf, you suck, That sherman in town, With 18 hits on the turret, Should have gone down. If I missed anyone, That just means I don't care, You can all bite my ass, Except that Greek boy over there... ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: This dialogue has become tiresome. I'm waiting for a turn from you while JdMorse and 10 other people are waiting for a turn from me. and the beat goes on... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If my memory serves me correctly...was it not YOU, Hiram Sedai who stated several weeks ago that you could only process turns on the weekend and that you would offer a surrender to anyone who was so impatient that they couldn't handle that arrangement? Was that not your situation? And now, you have the primal audacity to stand before me and tell me that my dialogue is tiresome and that you impatiently await my turn? How dare you sir! I shall beat you to death with your own pancreas! I'll offer a surrender to you...but it's on the hill past the town and your cowardly ass has to go in there and take it, you worthless sack of hard-boiled monkey spunk! I will get the turns out...and I may even see your demise in semi-realtime TCP/IP. And Herr Ovaries...if I wasn't laughing so darn hard, I'd have a think or two to tell you too. For your information, at this very moment I have a counter attack, the likes of which rival the Greeks assault on Hanoi in 722 B.C., coming up behind your lines as we speak. ------------------ "THAT DUCK SHALL NOT HAVE DIED IN VAIN!" - Senachai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 Cruud-da, You seem to have AMPLE time to jaw-jack here in the Muther beautiful thread but not enough time to send out YOUR FREAKIN' TURNS!? Put the kids to flippin' bed and satisfy the wife (that should take all of 5 minutes) and then fire up CM and get those turns out geriatric man. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: If my memory serves me correctly..." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Your diatribe has become tiresome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: In short, it was a sort of intellectual nirvana where a group of people were able to transcend international and cultural boundaries and share their similar senses of humor against the backdrop of a fantastic war simulator. What could be more perfect <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> After reading Croda's pining for things lost in time, I went looking at Croda's baby pictures on the original thread (I know, get a friggen life). It appears that you longtime cesspool inmates were entirely to easy on the lad; Hell, Hamster boy even actively tried to recruit him. While I understand the desire to harness his unadulterated, and often longwinded vitriol for the good of the thread; there are standards to maintain. To compensate for the limp-wristed effort to test his mettle the first time around, I propose that an extra helping of fresh, warm, and gooey **** be heaped upon each new post to Crawdad for a week or so. ------------------ And one more thing...can someone explain the cesspool to me? I'd go myself, but I may have another psychotic episode and beat the hell out of everyone in there too! - Ancient query from an infant Croda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 uh oh the croda in me senses danger and just wet himself anyone got a paper towel? ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow: Hey! Look at that Croda dude! He got off easy! *oh good, they aren't looking at me anymore...phew! That was getting unbearable.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh yee of 62 posts: While it was uncharacteristically wise, disproportionately studious, and disgustingly sentimental of you to go back and read my old primal screams, I feel the urge to repeatedly tap you between the eyebrows with a mallet until your skull splits in two. My younger days were quite difficult compared to the 'Pommie-calling' Thread that you were born into. "Ready? Everyone call Marlow a Pommie. OK, 1...2...3... You Pommie!!. There, you're in the club!" My grandiose delusions have no home but the CessPool, as was evident to the clan from my first dip. They sensed in me the spirit of all that is wrong in the world, and gave me to a rabid grizzly to nuzzle and come of age. You are simply 'Marlow.' A combination of guttural utterances whose writings are more reminiscent of a fish covered in ink flopping around on a piece of paper, then of any compilation of coherent thoughts. If you would like to fling your poo-poo at me, then so be it. It is a common practice for simians like yourself. You shall probably eat some of it also. That is fine, just don't exhale near me. I will take extra-special care to ensure that your side of the field is littered with extra-mangled corpses. ------------------ "THAT DUCK SHALL NOT HAVE DIED IN VAIN!" - Senachai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: It autosurrendered for me. But it was a good game and I learned alot. Final Score 72-28 IIRC. My tactic of bunching all of my infantry in one building did NOT work. Neither did my tactic of driving my tank as fast as I can past a couple of buildings to shoot at some empty ones. I hate you Shandorf. I hope your lower lip falls off and you'll be forced to smile at the neighbor kids for the rest of your life and they will poop in your bushes on your front lawn and tye signs around your dog's neck that says "Shandorf smells like frumunda cheese". <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Computer auto-surrendered for ya? You didn't tell me that...Tisk tisk... I credited YOU with doing the sensible thing there but now it looks likes the computer had to do it for you. That'll knock ya down a couple pegs, let me just make a note of that..."Hiram, is very stupid. Will not surrender when all he has left is 3 panzerschreck teams with no ammo." OKay...so noted. Your tank had about as much impact on the battle as my tank did, and IT blew up in the first round. You hate me... Ahh good.. but do you respect me is the question? So far the only Pooler I have lost to is that insipid Meeks and that is because he is insane. Speaking of which GAME UPDATES!! Chup-pa-dupe: I have lost a few good men but Chups right flank has crumbled and he has only dedicated one platoon to hold the center and right as reinforcements. They will Die-A-Lot-Now since Chup obviously underestimates my force size (Sit DOWN, Bauhaus!). Cruud-da: Cruda seems to be of the misconception that driving tanks and HTs within the mists of my infantry without an infantry screen is a good thing. I am showing him otherwise. Butti-fied: Most of the big buildings I have knocked down. I have troops on his back side of the board on BOTH flanks. I maneuver from all angles and Seanchai seems to be generally irritated with me. What can I say.. Things go well. Oberst: I control the town and completely. His infantry is trapped on the outskirts. Oberst has only 1 StuH left from a platoon of Five. I have only lost one Sherman and if it wasn't for the VL in the middle of a freakin' open field and his Stuh sitting on it I would have the victory. But alas.. I can hear him gasping for breath and struggling to stay afloat. He will soon sink. Marlow-the-wicked: Just start that one.. My setup is beautiful with crossfire zones and enfiladed firing positions. Ambushes await! Marlow, welcome to my parlor... Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Originally posted by jdmorse, a long time ago, in a thread far, far away: Mr Meeks...was simply extending an invitation to Mr Croda who seemed to exlemplify the spirit of the cesspool. He is one of the few ever to be extended an honor of being recruited...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I know you read that post Marlow...it's from the same thread you quoted. Go back to the original post by Spine concerning when TCP/IP would be released to see early Croda gems like this: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>oh, you want some of this Meeks???? I am the Great Wall of Frigging China falling on your head. I am the combined force of 10 Tsunami's washing up on your beach house. I am the Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria. If you want a little action, you've come to the right place. The last person who challenged me had milkshakes for dinner for 3 weeks afterward the match ended. Ask Mr. Spine. We call him that because I ripped that aparatus from his back and beat him down with it. You want some of me? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ------------------ <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: You rock, Croda<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 Gee Croda. Just get over it already. We know you're super. You know you're super. Go get a happy meal or something. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally mewled by Croda: Hey look guys, Meeks likes me! No, check it out, Meeks likes me! My mom says I'm cool, too!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> First of all, Meeks is lying dead on the Ross Ice Shelf with penguins nibbling at his nibbleables. I made sure of that. Second, it is indeed a pity that your tactical prowess doesn't live up to your exaggerated sense of self worth. I have eaten Malaysian tamarind-flavored candy which possessed more intelligence than you. You are as ridiculous as the site of a Mexican midget wrestling a stripper, without the aestheticly pleasing form. Now send me a turn. ------------------ Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 Looks like I'm about 2 posts away from Von Schrad coming in here and telling me he hates my RealLife guts. Don't worry, you guys might actually like me in RealLife . And for your information, the rule that no plan survives contact with the enemy seems to go double for me, though I just chalk it up to you bastards drugging my TacAI or something. ------------------ <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: You rock, Croda<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: Don't worry, you guys might actually like me in RealLife .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nope, don't think so. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: 99-1? Yes my lord, no worries. A piece of Pelican piss to be precise. Not only shall I turn Blousey's little bits into littler bits, I will atomise them and scatter them to the winds so that each and every one of will inhale these atoms. These atoms will permeate from the bronchial tubes of all of you, to the outer epidermal layer where they will divide and form,divide and form, until all of you are covered in full size bauhaus bits. Every morning as you peer bleery eyed into the bathroom mirror you will be horrified to see another fresh crop of bauhaus bits has formed on your noses during the night. Of course you will squeeze bauhaus' bits onto the mirror in true teenager fashion (I mean, who wants to go to work with a set of dangle berries hanging from their chin?) Larger ones will form on your backs where you can't quiiiiiite reach them while an especially irritating specimen will pop out between your arse-cheeks at an important meeting so you have to sit still and put up with it. Every moment of your collective infestations will serve to remind you of the utter devastation brought upon the artist formally known as Bauhaus by the Squire "Flash as a rat with a gold tooth" Stuka. And my Knigget will be proud as punch. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Stuka you trained chimp. Monkey wanna banana? Do you do everything your Nugget asks of you. I suppose in your spare time you pick lice from his tiny little melon in order to keep him happy. And as far as the ice age excuse.....hmmmmm, didn't someone say take all the time I can. Well, I did......stinking work. Hopefully, I'll have a setup waiting and I can actually return the turn by the time you're done wiping your sponsor's sphincter. Now, be prepared to wipe my bits from your nugget's nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
von shrad Posted November 30, 2000 Share Posted November 30, 2000 Croda you blowhard. Quit your belly-aching and whinning and send some turns out. No one really cares about your childhood or your English credit hour. All we care about is showing what a complete bufoon you are at commanding your little men as you march them under my arty directly into my MLR so carelessly. Oh yes,they die so easily under this one. Now disconnect from the net and send us our turns Slowda. PS. I hate you Von Shrad [This message has been edited by von shrad (edited 11-30-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted December 1, 2000 Author Share Posted December 1, 2000 Time for my first battle report, just to prove I just don't hang around street corners to sell my bod to all the boys! Slow Bore is back! After a few weeks in limbo he kindly sends me the next turn. I kindly respond by outflanking his Chaffee with a Stug and blowing it to kingdom come. The Chaffee being distracted with running down and over my SS troops. A word of advice, Mr Bore, don't ever park a tank on the crest of a hill! Jaded Horse This is one of Rune's nasty works which involves a lot of puny allied stuff against what seems to me, one of those Schwere Panzer Companies. As I'm playing the allies, nuff said! Berli-hic-hic-drinkfromthestein Ah, a joy to behold. Both our armour has been knocked out already (quick retake - Berli's 1st Stug taken by a Bazooka, simultaneous kill b/w another Stug and M10, Berli's artil scores an airburst just above my remaining M10). However, my infantry are doing far more nasty things to his infantry than he can do to mine, and thus I'm managing to grab control of the 2 VLs. Shore-a-sheep. Early game, he drops heaps of artil on my infantry, reducing my SS hamsters to something as effective as a group of boy scouts out on a picnic. He also has the audacity to remove a JgPz IV/L70 with a bloody M5 (humphhh). Regardless, I have managed to wrest one of the two VL from the warm hands of recent British dead with a flanking move, and have now consolidated on this position. Now we wait to see if Mr "Misery guts" attempts to take it back! Puka puts his "thingy" back in his pants and decides to commit to a PBEM. Infantry only, at night, on hills that look something like firm breasts, the game has just commenced and so far has involved both of us trying to get a good position. Puka decides to drop artil on one of the hills in the hope that I would be distracted by his craftly designed hills (and I must admit, I was)! that guy formally known as Babs. And I wish he was (formally that is)! Currently dooking it out at Villers Bocage. My Tigers have got some kills, but everytime I do so he retaliates and removes that Tiger. Wittman is still alive, but all the British AFVs down in town are hiding, so Wittman spends his time counting his kill markings on the Tiger's barrel, and reminiscing about his Eastern Front experiences! Ferile Kitty. I think I'll pronounce this PBEM dead. Attemps at cardiac rescusitation and mouth-to-mouth fail to revive this one! Time of death....! Mulch Hot off the press! Sunshine, a few buildings, and far too few trees to hide behind. As I'm attacking I think I may have to order a few more body bags for my lads than is normally required! That's it! If I've forgotten anyone, you're obviously not worth mentioning! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 1, 2000 Share Posted December 1, 2000 I have arrived and it pains me in delightful ways. I have browsed and I have read and I have drunk deeply of the vitriol and poison that abides here. I am pleased. I have read that there are no rules and so I have brought no rulers, none of which are large enough to measure my disdain for twaddling teat-lappers such as yourselves in any case. I have also read that there are rules to the Hating. While this could be confusing to anyone of less stature than myself, it is nothing more nor less than I expected from the mewling, closed-eyed, pink-skinned, furless pouch-weight that no doubt dripped out of the vermin-infested athletic supporter of some weak and sackless god-pretender back in the LongAgo BeforeTimes when such waste was allowed to breathe the good air of this world. I have read that I need to Hate. My Hate is writ large. And I Hate you all. Though I may not ever bathe your particular name in the cleansing fire of my Hate, trust that it is there, as a wriggling maggot trusts in the safety and nourishment of rotting flesh. But this boon I grant you: Lest your weak and brittle spines crack under the weight of your grossly inflated skulls, do not attempt to raise your eyes to meet my loathing gaze. The comforting embrace of the blanket of cold fire that is my disgust for you all will smother you soon enough. I have read that I need to love CM. Know that I love CM as He Who Is Named Peng loves the death rattles of smilies, as an Aussie loves his sheep, and as Rob/1 loves his antiDictionary from the Bizzarro World. I have read that I need to Challenge. I Challenge you all. PBEM QB is my current method of distributing pain and humiliation (which will be yours). dalem@provide.net will be the instrument of your instruction. -dale Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Formerly Babra Posted December 1, 2000 Share Posted December 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: That guy formally known as Babs. And I wish he was (formally that is)! Currently dooking it out at Villers Bocage. My Tigers have got some kills, but everytime I do so he retaliates and removes that Tiger. Wittman is still alive... Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hahahahaha... NOT!!!! He took one up the bum (and screamed like a girl doing it, I might add). ------------------ I remember it perfectly: The Germans wore grey; you wore blue... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted December 1, 2000 Share Posted December 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus: <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Stuka you trained chimp. Monkey wanna banana? Do you do everything your Nugget asks of you. I suppose in your spare time you pick lice from his tiny little melon in order to keep him happy. And as far as the ice age excuse.....hmmmmm, didn't someone say take all the time I can. Well, I did......stinking work. Hopefully, I'll have a setup waiting and I can actually return the turn by the time you're done wiping your sponsor's sphincter. Now, be prepared to wipe my bits from your nugget's nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted December 1, 2000 Share Posted December 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: I have arrived and it pains me like my Hemorrhoids yada yada<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> *yawn* like, whatever........... Piss off boy who likes dogs and girls in that order......... ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted December 1, 2000 Share Posted December 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse: *YAWN*<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well... I challenge you all has a certain Chrisl like quality in its utter simplicity and total lack of chutzpah. It's quite level with that famed Ah taunt ye All of his. ------------------ I shall unleash Death, Pestilence and Failed Blue Tests on ye!! Any other day or so with Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted December 1, 2000 Share Posted December 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV: I'm not sure if you're occasionally brilliant, or occasionally lucky.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm occasionally both... ------------------ I shall unleash Death, Pestilence and Failed Blue Tests on ye!! Any other day or so with Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 1, 2000 Share Posted December 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Pawbroon:Well... I challenge you all has a certain Chrisl like quality in its utter simplicity and total lack of chutzpah.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I forgot to amend "I challenge you all except the Frenchmen." -dale Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 1, 2000 Share Posted December 1, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: I'm stupid and I'm full of crap -dale<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why then, are you wasting our time? We want to be entertained. Dance for us, Dale. Can you juggle? Fetch us something us something to amuse us. Your prose is boring and needs more spice and attitude. Think of Croda and speak from the diaphragm. Be sure to roll your R's. Repeat after me. I am not a fag. Say that a couple of times and then go away. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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