TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER

[coralsaw]

Lorak,

Don't know you man, but know where you're coming from.

Sorry to hear.

[Seanachai]

Lorak, my deepest sympathy. Glad you're back among us. Take your time, fellow, and know that our thoughts are with you.

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[PawBroon]

Same as above and beyond.

Take your time and ask if you need anything.

------------------

I shall unleash Death, Pestilence and Failed Blue Tests on ye!!

Any other day or so with Emma

[Marlow]

Lorak,

It might seem kind of presumptuous to say this as I only know you from your posts, and I haven't been posting here all that long, but my deepest sympathy for the loss of your friend.

[This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 12-01-2000).]

[Lorak]

Thank you all for your thoughts. They are kindly recieved.

Now before this totally kills the jest and humor here....

Bite me all! You lickers of swamp toads.

Lorak

------------------

"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

[Moriarty]

Then send a turn.

TC Schutz has oiled, polished and cleaned every orifice of his StuG ... the only remaining piece of working armor ... in order to finish what you started.

------------------

"I came to Casablanca for the waters."

[David Aitken]

Don't tell me – he was run over by an M5A1 halftrack, which, being prior to v1.1, was overcrowded with a full squad, when everyone knows that the ring mount for the .50 cal MG took up the space for two seats (or maybe Babra was sitting on the storage bins), and was thus unsafe. Moral of the story: don't leave the house without checking up on your TO&E's.

David

Tact and sensitivity never won any wars™

[Formerly Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Don't tell me – he was run over by an M5A1 halftrack, which, being prior to v1.1, was overcrowded with a full squad, when everyone knows that the ring mount for the .50 cal MG took up the space for two seats (or maybe Babra was sitting on the storage bins), and was thus unsafe. Moral of the story: don't leave the house without checking up on your TO&E's.

David

Tact and sensitivity never won any wars™<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In the immortal words of Madmatt: Bite me...

(best I can do for now -- i'm quite drunk).

------------------

I remember it perfectly: The Germans wore grey; you wore blue...

[Mark IV]

Any TCP/IP geniuses here? I have the night "off". I would prefer killing any of you, to the ordinary scum that populate the normal board.

It's 8 PM in the People's Republic of Kalifornia.

Slake my thirst for blood. Otherwise I'm gonna kill a newbie, crack his skull like a melon, and have me a bowl of vanilla Tapioca.

I prefer a little spice with my blutwurst.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Don't tell me – he was run over by an M5A1 halftrack, which, being prior to v1.1, was overcrowded with a full squad, when everyone knows that the ring mount for the .50 cal MG took up the space for two seats (or maybe Babra was sitting on the storage bins), and was thus unsafe. Moral of the story: don't leave the house without checking up on your TO&E's.

David

Tact and sensitivity never won any wars™<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ooh, Scots humour. Listen to their songs. They're all quite lovely, but the most horrible things are going on. Aitkin, you toad, what about some artwork for the new digs. I fancy something with Cesspoolers all standing around in filth, wearing brightly colored shorts and those jaunty Aussie hats, carrying cans of beer, while low level mammals (marsupials), gnaw at their extremeties. Fast up with it, you second-class Brit.

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Formerly Babra:

In the immortal words of Madmatt: Bite me...

(best I can do for now -- i'm quite drunk).

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Did I mention the fact that I'm glad that Color Me Babra was back?

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by M. Bates:

Hahaha! Hook, line and sinker!!

I'm not done with this thread yet, so I'll post again in a week or so.

In the meantime I will leave you gentlemen to continue on your journey of self-obsession.

Au revoir!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hook, line and sinker? What?! You mean you're not an educated wank, but just an ignorant and annoying poseur? And you're not done with this Thread? We've heard that one before, laddie. You know, I watched your somewhat annoying arrival on the Board, with your original sig, and the furor that surrounded it, and I watched your rather disingenuous disclaimers as to understanding all the uproar. Then I watched you post tendentious, priggish threads on 'keeping the board clean' and protecting young people who might be reading, and I was torn between wondering if you were that obnoxious an hypocrite, or if you were annoyed to the point of deep satire by the reaction to your original forum name. So, are you actually so completely worthless that you would originally sign on here as Master Bates, and then claim to not understand what people who objected were talking about, and since have championed 'let's not talk naughty now, because the children might be listening', or are you just involved in a strange, Brit, guerilla-theatre assault on the CM Board, and we're your most recent port of call? If the former, bugger off, die, and, as Khrushchev said: We will bury you. If the latter, then own up, and try some other, equally satirical and understated, weird approach to annoying the folk here. These people thrive on being annoyed. But if you're taking the latter approach to making yourself a pain in the arse, you're going over the heads of too many people to be appreciated. So, the balls in your court, Mate. Want to just be a useless wank, and be treated as such? Or do you have a point? It's not enough to be hated, you know. The next stage is to be liked. Of course, then you'll be hated again. That's what we do here. And it works very nicely. I've never met such a lovely group of complete scum. Care to join in?

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[OGSF]

Lorak My Leige....so glad to see you back again, and sorry to learn why you were away. As Banjo might have said, but didn't....

There was a movement in the Cesspool for the word had passed around,

That the Knight called Lorak Loathed had gone away,

He owed a thousand turns...blah, blah, blah...

And welcome back.

OberGrupenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

------------------

OGSF will be happy to know that he pointed out a nice little bug with bazookas hitting the back doors of bunkers. No idea when this stopped working, but the fix was rather easy. It will be in 1.1.

- Steve

[Seanachai]

A small billabong. Light filters in strangely from the East. Three figures sit in the half light. One is dark, and wreathed in smoke. One is grim, dissaproving, and muttering. One is quite mad, and singing quietly to himself.

Berli: Pack it up. They're getting close, now.

Seanachai: Oh, surely we've got a bit more time? I've just taught this little duck that it's actually a mammal!

Peng: I visualize them all dying. It gives me strength. AAAGGGHHH!!! (jumps up, shaking one leg) SON OF A BITCH, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE! WHAT ARE THESE GODDAMN THINGS?!

Seanachai (peering over at the small form scurrying away): That's a marsupial. They're displacing the hamsters. The Threads gone Downunder now, you know.

Peng: Well tell the fecking little bastards to stay away from me!

Seanachai: You can't talk to them, Peng. They're like the Aussies themselves: dim, primitive, and prone to going their own way.

Berli: I could talk to them.

Seanachai: Er, no, Berli, that's not necessary. I mean, they've survived so many millenia of evolution without a clue, it would be a shame for them to meet you now.

Berli: Fine. Listen to the racket, would you?

Seanachai: Oh, well, it's not to be wondered at. It's a whole new world!

Berli: Are the French still here?

Seanachai: Er, yes, but they haven't blown-up anything, yet!

Berli: Pity.

Peng: Sod the French. And sod the Australians. What's that?! (points accusingly)

Seanachai: Well, that's some very unappealing scrubby underbrush.

Peng: There goes the neighbourhood. I suppose they are arriving. I thought you said it would take them ages to get here?

Seanachai: I was wrong. They've really taken to their new habitat. Plus a lot of the old ones came back.

Peng: Really? Which ones.

Seanachai: Er, well, Germanboy came on strong. And Mark IV has made a special effort. And Vultu...er Geier.

Peng: And Shaw?

Seanachai: On the run. Apparently, he's staying with Salman Rushdie. The Mormon Church has declared that because he defamed the prophet's wives, anyone who kills him will go to heaven. A sad case, really. I understand he and Rushdie spend most of their day playing CM and drinking beer.

Peng: What the hell's sad about that, you daft idiot?

Seanachai: Er, the death sentence? Never mind, as Bauhaus has pointed out, we're all under one. Never figured him for a philosopher.

Berli: Bauhaus?

Seanachai: Yes

Berli: He's smarter than a marsupial.

Seanachai: And?

Berli: And what? He's smarter than a marsupial. A little larger, too.

Peng: And what about Lorak?

Seanachai: Personal loss. Gods bless him.

(Briefly all bow their heads).

Peng: GI Tom?

Seanachai: Been seen, presently playing within the 'Pool.

Peng: So what's that lot, then? (points to the West)

Seanachai: Well, Peng, you know, all the newcomers, and the Squires, and such.

Peng: Filthy lot.

Seanachai: Well, but we've been sitting here waiting for them.

Peng: Bloody lot of baggage are here now, aren't they? Time to move on.

Berli: There. (points West)

Seanachai(squinting): Looks about right.

Peng: I really liked the emptiness. You know, just here. (looks around; there are now tufts of desert grass, a few scrawny thorn bushes, a few nervous looking sheep chewing stolidly, backed up against anything substantial looking). Where do the goddamn sheep come from, anyway? They're not native.

Seanachai: Strangely, wherever the Cesspool goes, there are always sheep there. Odd, really. Of course, we have a fair amount of Aussies, Kiwis, and now the Greeks have shown up.

Berli: It's time. (all three arise)

Seanachai: What shall we sing as we move on?

Berli: A Requiem?

Peng: Gilbert and Sullivan?

Seanachai: I know, how about:

And so we've had, another night

of poetry and poses

and each man knows, he'll be alone

when the sacred gin mill closes

and so we'll drink, the final glass

each to his joy, or sorrow

and hope the numbing drunk will last

until opening tomorrow

and then we'll stagger back again

like paralytic dancers

each knows the questions he will ask

and each man knows the answers

and so we'll drink, the final drink

that cuts the brain in sections

where answers never signify

and there aren't any questions

I broke my heart, the other day

it will mend again, tomorrow

if I'd been drunk when I was born

I'd be ignorant of sorrow

and so we'll drink, the final toast

that never can be spoken

here's to the heart

that's wise enough

to know when it's better off broken...

Last Call

-Dave Van Ronk

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PatBoone:

I am from the home of post-modernism. Hermeneutics is my middle name. I will deconstruct your taunts and reduce them to something that keeps threatening to be coherent, but always ends up just a little skew to reality, like all that I write myself.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

File is on the way. Parameters are set for fast and bloody...

------------------

Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

[Berlichtingen]

Seanachai,

<sniff> that was beautiful, man... now sod off

[This message has been edited by Berlichtingen (edited 12-02-2000).]

[Goanna]

All right Seanachai, you sad excuse for Walleye spunk. You failed apprentice bard. You lowly celtic admiring man without a country. The next time you post one of your little narratives, you had damn well better have some authentic Aussies with some starring roles in it or we are the enforcers from Poets and Bards Local #314 (Geelong) down on you hard mister.

While you are at it, why don't you fire up our last available turn and give me a detailed blow by blow. After reading MarkIVs request and not being able to respond in the affirmative, I'm just jonesing out here in the desert.

[PawBroon]

Gosh golly.

It seems were going somewhere after all.

Having overcome it's natural fear of loosing both his time and his precious shrunken credentials, Brittl had come up with a setup.

I dunno what kind of drugs he's on but all of the files attached were unusable.

If I was SheepDip, I'd say it's a commie plot.

The Pool being now UpsideDownUnder one can go as far as claiming it's a Pommie plot.

Ok you brainwashed sons of, err, what are you using to reproduce there?

I am NOW awestruck by the results of years of French nuclear testings done in your backyard...

I knew because I had seen on the History Channel that a giant lizard went to New York and wrecked Havoc just because we frogs are playful and then, everybody wants NY to buy it.

Here is what that famed reporter Rod Hilton had to say about all the events:

GODZILLA: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT.

FADE IN:

INT. AN OFFICIAL LOOKING OFFICE - NIGHT

KEVIN DUNN

Mr. Mayor, a boat off the coast of a

country sunk. We retrieved it and

found giant claw marks on the side.

MICHAEL LERNER

Probably the weather.

KEVIN DUNN

We also found tissue samples of some

lizard.

MICHAEL LERNER

Still the weather. Hey, did you

notice that I look just like Ebert and

my assistant looks like Siskel and I

give thumbs up?

DIRECTOR DEAN DEVLIN

Ha ha! **** you, Siskel and Ebert! I

will now draw attention to Ebert's

fat.

MICHAEL LERNER

I want a donut.

KEVIN DUNN

Sir, this thing whose tissue we found

is off the coast of New York. It's

big.

MICHAEL LERNER

What is it? Where's my cheesecake?

KEVIN DUNN

Sir.. we think it might be

(pause)

Computer Graphics!

MUSIC

BA BA BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

MICHAEL LERNER

I want chocolate.

INT. A HOSPITAL - DAY

JAPANESE GUY FROM THE BOAT

Gojira.

EXT. A PLACE WITH SOIL AROUND - DAY

MATTHEW BRODERICK

(listening to music)

Girls.. just wanna have fun. Oh girls

just wanna have..that's all they

really wannnnnnnnt.. some..

A helicopter lands nearby. An OFFICIAL LOOKING MAN steps

out and walks to MATTHEW BRODERICK.

OFFICIAL LOOKING MAN

Come with us. We're with the

government.

MATTHEW BRODERICK

(acting)

Uh..uh.. what did I do?

OFFICIAL LOOKING MAN

Singing that song is going to put a

cheesy 80's song on the soundtrack.

For that alone you should be killed.

They shove MATTHEW BRODERICK into the helicopter

MATTHEW BRODERICK

You can't do this! I'm Ferris

Bueller!!

EXT. NEW YORK - NIGHT

GODZILLA

Growl.

GODZILLA stomps on things that New York is famous for.

He also passes an opportunity to have sex with the STATUE

OF LIBERTY. HANK AZARIA pulls out a video camera.

HANK AZARIA

I'm gonna get this on tape.

As a result of GODZILLA, something comes CRASHING down.

It almost HITS HANK AZARIA.

HANK AZARIA

Whew, that was close.

AUDIENCE

Whew, that was close.

MATTHEW BRODERICK

I think Godzilla is pregnant.

As a result of GODZILLA, something comes crashing down.

It almost HITS MATTHEW BRODERICK

MATTHEW BRODERICK

Whew, that was close.

AUDIENCE

Whew, that was really close.

MARIA PITILLO walks in

MARIA PITILLO

I am Matthew's ex-girlfriend and part

time supporting character. I want to

be a newscaster but Harry Shearer

stands in my way.

MATTHEW BRODERICK

I hope we end up together in the end.

GODZILLA

Um.. So am I still destroying stuff

here or do you want to continue making

it look like this movie has a plot?

HARRY SHEARER

(as Kent Brockman)

I think we'll do some more plot.

Let's take a look at how I am an ass

and how I stand in Maria's way.

(pause)

Let me air a clip she found and take

credit for it.

JAPANESE GUY FROM THE BOAT

(the 26th time it's shown)

Gojira.

HARRY SHEARER

And there you have it, folks.

Godzilla.

MARIA PITILLO

That rat. And it's Gojira, not

Godzilla

STUPID AUDIENCE

Ha ha! That is funny because it's

pronounced Godzilla but those crazy

Japanese people can't say nuthin right

and Maria is stupid.

GODZILLA FANS IN AUDIENCE

Ha ha! That is funny because the

original Japanese version was titled

"Gojira."

GODZILLA

Goody! More special effects money has

arrived! Let's proceed destroying

things mindlessly.

GODZILLA walks around, destroying everything. He GROWLS

and leaves a giant peice of GODZILLA EXCREMENT on a

notable spot in New York

INT. STADIUM – NIGHT

MATTHEW BRODERICK

There are baby Godzillas here. They

look like Raptors from Jurassic Park

but they are not.

MATTHEW BRODERICK and SUPPORTING CAST get chased by

RAPTORS for 20 minutes. They get out and the stadium

gets BLOWN UP.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE STADIUM - DAY

GODZILLA

My kids. This blows! I will break

stuff! LOTS OF STUFF!

GODZILLA breaks STUFF.

ARMY

Oh no you don't.

They shoot MISSILES at GODZILLA and GODZILLA is blown

into peices.

MATTHEW BRODERICK

Whew. We're safe.

MARIA PITILLO

I love you.

They KISS. The camera zooms in on GODZILLA'S eye. It

OPENS.

MUSIC

BA DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

SMOG MONSTER

Hey! What about me!?

MOTHRA

And me too!

DIRECTOR DEAN DEVLIN

Har har! You'll be in the sequel! And

on Burger King cups! It'll never stop!

SIZE DOES MATTER! HA HA HA HA HA HA!

END

Yeah!!!

That was it!!

And BTW BlouseMouse, the Size does Matter part wasn't intended for you.

But then, maybe after all...

Nice one as usual Sean, just noticed that you switched Bouille for Berli because Truth is all of us Poolers wouldn't know Bouille in the first place...

Boy I feel full of life and energetic.

It's the week end I'm still to test that TCP/IP thingy.

Either that our I'll have to go in the shower with No/1 and Onan to wash myself thoroughly.

------------------

I shall unleash Death, Pestilence and Failed Blue Tests on ye!!

Any other day or so with Emma

[This message has been edited by PawBroon (edited 12-02-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

Pushbroom, that was just annoying. Stop that immediately.

***********************

Lorak, welcome back and I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Please accept my condolences.

Misc is my favorite Ranger too. "Full Plate and packing steel"

**************************

As for the rest of you hermaphroditic CVS employees, I know I have turns to send. You'll get them when I send them. I'm still smarting from the lashing I received from both JDMorse and Shandorf. TCPIP just means I lose faster. Whoops...I mean Come and Get Your whoopin!!!

------------------

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Chupacabra]

Lorak - my sympathies. I can't presume to say I know how you feel, but I've lost friends, and it's a hard thing. Best wishes.

To the rest of you simps -

In case some of you are too thick to read your email (or to do much besides cough up hairballs, for that matter) I will repeat it here:

For the next week, you will get nothing from me. My life is far more important than listening to your pathetic ravings. So your wittle men will have to wait until after next Friday for their disembowelments. I trust you will be able to pleasantly drool away the time.

So long, Cop!

------------------

Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh.

[Guest Germanboy]

Roight - I don't know whether there is a law that once the Peng Thread (never got into this Cesspool business myself, after all, some pathetic little creep who would make the misfits populating 'Friends' look like interesting and intellectually semi-capable decent folk came up with that one) goes beyond 300 posts it gets interesting? I don't get it, why do I have to wade through a pile of ****e to find the crock of gold? Should that not be a rainbow? Honestly, arguing with pathetic losers (names withheld for reasons of board civility, but come on, you know who I mean) in other threads, or even a partial lobotomy performed with a rusty coathanger is more fun than reading the posts between about 50 and 300 each time the thread collapses. Jesus Christ! You should think that the brainless rabble and blow-ins that came to populate those best forgotten and ignored pages have something different to do, something that would be more beneficial to mankind, e.g. jumping off the Cliffs of Doheen (shut-up Seanachai, no sing-song), or banging their head against a brickwall to the tune of 'Smells like Sheep Spirit' by Nirvana, guest appearance Peter_Sheepshagger. My word.

Now - since this place seems to have had a bit of a cleansing, in which I hope many of the aforementioned board trash were shown things that exceed their pain resistance level by a considerable margin, I deign it worthy to receive a post by me. So here it was/is.

Game updates? Feck that - this bloody thing called work intervened, and I had to do lots of stupid writing, to tell morose people that their climate change policy sucks rocks (not in as many words, but my boss did let me get away with being nasty by UK standards, so that was good). All games will be resumed Sunday night. Ah well, one thing. Senanachai - if you don't manage to beat me, you are a loser.

Lorak, I am sorry to hear about your loss, and I am very impressed with your attitude to it. The more I read from you, the more I would like to go and have a pint with you one day, you seem like an exceedingly decent fellow, which raises the question what the arse you are doing here? Answers on a postcard addressed to: 'The Witchking of Angmar - The place formerly known as Sauron's Abode - HE11 LL00 - UK'

Geier and Seanachai - your postcards are in the making (i.e. I bought them but still have to write them). Why don't you just wait with bad breath - oh wait, you do that anyway... Just hold your breath then - seeing that the Roayl Mail will no doubt take fecking ages to get them to you, the world will be a better place once they reach you.

Speedy - I have not forgotten about you graciously accepting the offer of a sound hiding. I am a bit filled up with games at the moment, but you are next in line. Bastables came back from comparing the game with reality to play it. So there.

The rest of you creeps and boneheads - I despise you. Lawyers, management book writers, webdesigners and whatnot, even a marketing person, a Scot and to topple it all, Frenchies. Has the world ever seen a conglomeration of more useless trash in one thread on a board? I seriously doubt it. The one thing that France and Scotland have in common is that they are places that are only there for their neighbours to kick them around whenever they feel like it. Which is good, since that is very necessary. They are in actual fact more or less the geographical equivalent of a punching ball or a stress-toy. Very apt that Pushbroom has somefink going on with a Scot then. David should try his luck with a Frenchy lass, that would spare us his geographically correct scenarios. Who gives a neff.

To all those of you not even implicitly mentioned here: that was because you are boring. Go away and volunteer at Mother Teresa's. Except Joe.

------------------

Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 12-02-2000).]

[Mark IV]

Let's learn from the professionals:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>From the King of Kings of the East and West, the Great Khan. To Qutuz the Mamluk, who fled to escape our swords. You should think of what happened to other countries ... and submit to us. You have heard how we have conquered a vast empire and have purified the earth of the disorders that tainted it. We have conquered vast areas, massacring all the people. You cannot escape from the terror of our armies.

Where can you flee? What road will you use to escape us? Our horses are swift, our arrows sharp, our swords like thunderbolts, our hearts as hard as the mountains, our soldiers as numerous as the sand. Fortresses will not detain us, nor arms stop us.

Your prayers to God will not avail against us. We are not moved by tears nor touched by lamentations. Only those who beg our protection will be safe. Hasten your reply before the fire of war is kindled ...

Resist and you will suffer the most terrible catastrophes. We will shatter your mosques and reveal the weakness of your God and then we will kill your children and your old men together.

At present you are the only enemy against whom we have to march.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Even taunting has historical standards. Sadly, this example of the Khan's armies' finest taunting was, Croda-like, the prelude to a catastrophic defeat. Unlike Croda, it was their first.

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Let's learn from the professionals:

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, but it need not be so long winded to be effective.

"No terms except unconditional and immediate surrender can be accepted. I propose to move immediately upon your works." U.S. Grant, at Ft. Donelson.

Or the classic "Nuts."

Both short, sweet and to the point.

[Formerly Babra]

From the King of Kings of the East and West, the Great Babra-Khan. To Mark IV the Gerbil, who fled to escape our garlic-breath. You should think of what happened to other CM grogs... and submit to us. You have heard how we have conquered a vast empire and have purified the earth of the Waxx's and Bates' that tainted it. We have conquered foolish Mace, massacring all the Tiger Crews. You cannot escape from the terror of our Poilus.

Where can you flee? What road will you use to escape us? Our Greyhounds are swift, our 76mms tungsten-cored, our Tanks prettily adorned with patriotic slogans, our hearts as hard as Waxx_IK in a boy's gym, our soldiers as numerous as Florida recounts. Minefields will not detain us, nor arms stop us.

Your prayers to God will not avail against us. We are not moved by tears nor touched by lamentations. Only those who send a cease-fire request will be safe. Hasten your reply before the 155mm VT is called in ...

Resist and you will suffer the most terrible catastrophes. We will shatter your foxholes and reveal the weakness of your God and then we will kill your children and your old men together.

At present you are the only enemy against whom we have not exacted our full revenge...

------------------

I remember it perfectly: The Germans wore grey; you wore blue...

[Stuka]

First business, To Lorak, sincerest sympathies for your and your friend's families loss, life really sucks sometimes.

Second:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

mammals gnaw at their extremeties.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah hah! A thingey reference from the self confessed anti-thingite.

My lords, ladies and gentlehamsters, in the matter of the Crown V Seanachai, I rest my case. A confession from the accused has revealed to the court that he does, in fact, revel in thingey references.

Case closed. Obiter dictum, caveat emptor, and any other latin phrases I've forgotten.