Stuka Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 I like to say something really witty and cutting to leave you as a snivelling, quivering mess on the floor, MadMensch. But I can't, I'm a tree remember? Your'e still a snivelling mess though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 So, off the board for a weekend, and I miss Peng's hospitalization. To welcome him back to "his" thread, a little observation: Do you know how, when you are clipping you toenails (No Croda, not biting them off. With a clipper, the way the rest of us do it), and you come to that one that you missed the last time you clipped them. Its long and gnarly and cracked and discolored. You try to get a clean cut with the clippers, but it falls off in ragged pieces instead. You finally manage to get that bugger off, and jammed under the short nail that is left is a dark and smelly collection of sock lint, dead skin, sweat, sewage from the Cesspool, and **** from when you planted your foot up sharndorf's ass while forgetting your boots. This little bit of nasty corruption just won't come out. You try scraping it with the little thingy on the clippers, you try prying it out with a screwdriver, but the stubborn bastard just clings on and annoys the crap out of you. Finally, after its driven you nearly insane, it pops out and flies across the room. If your real quite, like on the old Sprint commercials, when it hits the ground, you can hear a single sound ring out … "… PENG …" And as for being YOUR thread, you ugly little humpbacked gremlin, you are like the grubby sodbuster who rages impotently at the Apache hordes as they trample his pitiful crops and ravage his wife. It may technically be your land, but your farm is burning, your woman is violated, and the cavalry is nowhere to be found. Get well soon, and have a nice day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: By replying to this ..this.. outtie, aren't we acknowledging his existance? Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Outtie? Are we comparing belly-buttons now? I think you ought to take this to the main board where you can post "OT- outtie or innie" I'm sure it will rank right up their with the "votes on my most favoritest tank," and "woe is me, I am so unlucky" threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 Good God! I get a life for a weekend and upon my return I find that the Frenchman has turned his tail and ran (not that it isn't breed into them), Mr. Peng is getting sponge baths as he wheezes into a respirator, and rift raft have been finding their way into the pool from the "outside". What has my Fake Life come too? Come now people lets all just settle down, okay? Least I go into a blind rage and start inserting my foot into a few rear ends! Jeff ------------------ I once killed a six pack just to watch it die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Come now people lets all just settle down, okay? Least I go into a blind rage and start inserting my foot into a few rear ends! Jeff <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Brave talk for a sea cucumber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow: Brave talk for a sea cucumber.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Apparently, sir, you have never met a sea cucumber. Jeff ------------------ I once killed a six pack just to watch it die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted December 18, 2000 Share Posted December 18, 2000 Thought I'd share this........has a certain applicability to this place: Daily Affirmations for the Unstable I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so." I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain. As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault. I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all. Joan of Arc heard voices too. When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things. As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom. Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find someone. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future? I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forever Babra Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: Have-no-idea-I'm-Barbra, he/she/it is ok cuz H/S/I is a canuck, rumor has it that H/S/I got a demploma from Red Green.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If the women don't find ya handsome, they should at least find ya handy! ------------------ "The whole of Scotland will rejoice if the commanding officer of the Canadian Army could see fit that the taking of Saint-Valery is accomplished by the Highland Division. I am sure that the 2nd Canadian Division will attend to Dieppe satisfactorily." -- General Sir Bernard Law Montgomery, Aug. 20, 1944 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forever Babra Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse: Daily Affirmations for the Unstable I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so." I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain. As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault. I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all. Joan of Arc heard voices too. When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things. As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom. Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find someone. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future? I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Brilliant! I move that the afore-quoted be enshrined as the "Dicta Pool" ------------------ "The whole of Scotland will rejoice if the commanding officer of the Canadian Army could see fit that the taking of Saint-Valery is accomplished by the Highland Division. I am sure that the 2nd Canadian Division will attend to Dieppe satisfactorily." -- General Sir Bernard Law Montgomery, Aug. 20, 1944 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 Hair covering 98% of my body? Now i know you are insane. Everyone knows Elves have very little body hair. But yes I do peddle Shampoo around to the rest of the poolers. Anything to wash that human stench away. Sadly it appears Peng has fell ill, he didn't read the "for external use only" label and attempted to groom his inner croda. At least none of you have mistaken my greatness for a mental illness. For as you are all becoming awear I am Lorak and hence Great. Now all of you, go away. Or I will be forced to beat you with my football-bat. Lorak the loathed [This message has been edited by Lorak (edited 12-18-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 MY PENG CHALLENGE BRETHREN: Sorry, Mace, my little marsupial snuggler, but I'm forced to once again take control of this Thread in the name of Orthodoxy. All Cesspoolers know now to head on over to the new home of the Mutha Beautiful Thread: THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER There we may continue our useless existences. Please note, wannabes will be eradicated. This is our new home, until the next call by the Exterminator drives us out to look for a new home. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Madmatt Posted December 19, 2000 Share Posted December 19, 2000 Ahh yes...The time has come my friends...The Pengishness that pervades here has once again become unweildy..But then I suppose cess in it's natural form often is... Like the Black Death, Polio and Influenza, this thread has outlived it's so-called half-life...Time to lock it up, and dispose of it to the nearest convenient water table. But, sadly for us, all is not lost... A new thread has already begun and its name is "The Bloody Peng Challenge: Escape From Downunder". Take your wretchedness there and begin anew...Like the tiny globulars of festering butt cheese...So to goes the Days of Our Cess™... Madmatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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