37mm Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 The Rules… (Short & sweet version) (4X) We want to know where you come from and what your email address is… well we don’t but that’s beside the point really so display the required info on your profile or the Justicar will get right worked up. (triple-a) Try and amuse at least some of us. (XO) Don’t upset the Olde Ones, Ladies or your betters (everyone here most likely) (VVVc) Any bigotry crap really won’t be appreciated here (eco) When that Michael Emyrs shows up (as he always does… bloody Horsemen of the Apocalypso are like that you see) belittle him (zip) Challenge someone... preferably someone as lowly as yourself There are other rules of course but it would probably take me several weeks to write them all down… which would be a pointless exercise as they change all the time anyway. You’ll of course be expected to know them all… ignorance is not an excuse here in the Cesspool [ March 03, 2006, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave H Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: ignorance is not an excuse here in the CesspoolJust a way of life. Micheal Emrys? He's made over 18,000 posts, every single one with his name prominently displayed, and you still can't spell it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Nice use of smileys there DaveH, shame there's a limit on those bastards huh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: The Rules… … which would be a pointless exercise as they change all the time anyway. That is just part of the fun. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted March 4, 2006 Author Share Posted March 4, 2006 PENG VERSUS SIR 37MM AAR Our battle fleet, in line abreast formation and travelling westerly, first sighted the enemy squadron 6000 yards away. On our portside were the Stuart class Destroyers Shevchenko, Mace and Nevitt. Then came the M10 class Battlecruisers Bader, Murphy, Grilli and Lynch. Followed by the Vaughan (flanked on either side by the Destroyers Zimmer and Butare ) and, further along the line, the Mack, Collins, Goldstein and Wodzinski. The most starboard position was taken by the destroyer Cutler. Lord Admiral Sir 37mm, aboard the flagship Bader, ordered most of his ships to fire smoke rounds towards the enemy whilst rapidly closing the range (a logical tactic considering the enemies superior gunnery especially that of the Tiger class Dreadnaughts). Almost immediately accurate enemy fire began to plunge around Sir 37mm’s ships (indeed the Lynch was struck almost immediately) causing some chaos whilst his fleet manoeuvred. As the first enemy squadron became blocked from view a new one appeared further to the North. The Nevitt engaged what appeared to be the first of two Mark IV class Battlecruisers (later three) at just over 7000 yards before smoke obscured targeting. It later became apparent that the measly 3.7” shells of the Nevitt had amazingly managed to cause fatal damage to the Schafa . At 3:11 the destroyer Zimmer, isolated ahead of the fleet, was struck by a volley of 7.5” shells and quickly caught alight. At 4:15 a Tiger class Dreadnaught, the Junckel , was spotted leading the northernmost division. It was engaged at 4000 yards by the Cutler, Butare and Goldstein but only the Cutler could score any hits and these seemed to have little effect. The Vaughan & Lynch tried their luck at 5200 yards but again could score no hits. At 5:38 the ships of the other enemy squadron (Later confirmed as the Mark IV Battlecruisers Dreggar and Bernhardt ) reappeared out of the smokescreen & engaged the Nevitt and Mace at less than 5000 yards. During its manoeuvrings to escape this enemy the Shevchenko was bracketed by the ships of the Northern squadron. At 6:29 7.5” and 8.8” salvoes from the Gerla and the Jenckel quickly tore the destroyer apart whilst shortly afterwards 7.5” inch salvoes from the Sehmel knocked out much of the main armament of the Lynch . Things were starting to look bad for the fleet of Sir 37mm . Things got worse when at 7:29 the Collins was put out of action by an 8.8” salvo fired from the Jenckel. It was at this point that Sir 37mm decided he needed to concentrate all of the firepower of his fleet at either one of the two squadrons whilst isolating the other by smoke & dust… did I say dust? I meant more engine smoke. Sir 37mm chose to attack the squadron to the North (i.e. the one furthest from the majority of his fleet & led by a confirmed dreadnaught rather than the suspected dreadnaught of the other). The first result of this decision and Sir 37mm’s awful manoeuvring was the sinking of the Vaughan at the hands of the Gerla at 8:29 (although this was avenged somewhat by the Bader setting alight the Gerla at 8:49). The Bader was then badly struck at 9:52. At 10:11 the Nevitt , despite penetrating the Bernhardt , was mortally wounded and then blown to pieces, with the loss of all hands, at 10:18; the Mace was also severely damaged at 10:50 and went under at 11:11. At 12:50 the Cutler heavily struck the Sehmel forcing it to fall out of line & undertake emergency repairs. At 13:47 the Cutler began sinking, the reasons for which are still unknown (best theory is an unseen volley from the Jenckel). Around the same time the Mack, Goldstein and Wodzinski began their charge towards the Jenckel . They briefly came under fire from the southern squadron at ranges approaching 8000 yards but to no effect. At 14:22 the Jenckel emerged out of a squall and engaged the Mack at only 1100 yards. The Jenckel’s huge cannons shattered the Mack with its first salvo. The Goldstein and Wodzinski closed even further (incredibly missing with their first salvos) yet the Goldstein couldn’t hit the Jenckel even at 770 yards. The Jenckel first smashed apart the Goldstein’s frontal weapons and then fatally struck it at 15:30; the Goldstein went under at 15:37. Meanwhile the captain of the Wodzinski appears to have panicked, changed course & headed back into the smoke bank... sigh With the repairs on the Sehmel complete the Sehmel returned to the line and quickly scored success, sinking the practically defenceless Lynch at 16:44. The Butare returned fire & scored some success penetrating the Sehmel and forcing it out of the line yet again. The Butare was then hit below the waterline by the Jenckel and capsized at 17:28. Meanwhile Sir 37mm grouped his remaining ships the Grilli and the Murphy around his (damaged) flagship the Bader, for another (yes another) attack on the quadruple damned Jenckel. This more than any other action shows the tremendously stupi... brave nature of Sir 37mm (I’m sure even Peng was trying to talk me out of it). Stupidit... bravery aside Sir 37mm’s flagship soon developed ‘serious engine trouble’ forcing him to stay behind & leave the glory for the Grilli and Murphy. Shortly afterwards the Sehmel once again returned to the line. Meanwhile the Wodzinski came out of its smoke bank, once again failed to engage the Jenckel , was hit at 19:23, sunk at 19:29 and had all it’s few remaining crew killed by enemy fire at 19:34 (the bastards)… sigh Strangely enough the second charge against the Jenckel was a bit of an anti climax… 2nd Petty Ensign Peng seemingly believed that he’d caused enough death that day & withdrew his ships from the fight. He was sort of right... I suppose that technically he can claim a kind of ‘tactical victory’. I hope he fecking enjoys it. Note: I suspect that the style of this battle report has somewhat been influenced by my rapidly growing obsession with a game-to-be-released called Distant Guns. [ March 04, 2006, 07:12 AM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: PENG VERSUS SIR 37MM AAR Note: I suspect that the style of this battle report has somewhat been influenced by my rapidly growing obsession with a game-to-be-released called Distant Guns. Waill done, laddie. A guid read tha'. Wha's this Distant Guns thain? As there a web site? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by Dave H: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Sir 37mm: ignorance is not an excuse here in the CesspoolJust a way of life. Micheal Emrys? He's made over 18,000 posts, every single one with his name prominently displayed, and you still can't spell it? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juan_gigante Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Shouldn't that be "ain wee name grog" or something? I almost feel let down not to get the full OGSF experience. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by Dave H: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Sir 37mm: ignorance is not an excuse here in the CesspoolJust a way of life. Micheal Emrys? He's made over 18,000 posts, every single one with his name prominently displayed, and you still can't spell it? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Have any of you stinking lot ever had to keep a Gnome in booze and smoke? I think not. I have a Gnome in my house right now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by dalem: Have any of you stinking lot ever had to keep a Gnome in booze and smoke? I think not. I have a Gnome in my house right now. Keep him away from your cats, he seems to have a strange... desire? for cats. We were missing 3 by the time I was able to trick him into leaving my house. I never did thank him for that... [ March 04, 2006, 03:21 AM: Message edited by: NG cavscout ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted March 4, 2006 Author Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by OGSF: Wha's this Distant Guns thain? As there a web site? Link added to the end of the AAR 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by OGSF: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Sir 37mm: PENG VERSUS SIR 37MM AAR Note: I suspect that the style of this battle report has somewhat been influenced by my rapidly growing obsession with a game-to-be-released called Distant Guns. Waill done, laddie. A guid read tha'. Wha's this Distant Guns thain? As there a web site? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Is this another of those disgusting PC only games? Surely it will be an unrewarding waste of time. And, Joe? Surely you know the rules about posting links to commercial products? I mean, you [choking down a wave of revulsion] of all people. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: Is this another of those disgusting PC only games? Surely it will be an unrewarding waste of time. And, Joe? Surely you know the rules about posting links to commercial products? I mean, you [choking down a wave of revulsion] of all people. Michael Surely not ... I mean people have posted links to Vegemite ... surely NOTHING could be worse than that? Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 I actually tried the vegemite the other day. It tasted a little like taking the foam from beer and spreading it across your toast. not too bad, but nothing I would walk across hot coals for either. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timu24 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Accually you get used to vegemiting. It's a learned taste. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timu24 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Oh and since I am a Junior Member I need to go through the initiation process. Torture me however you so please. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 First of all, try reading the rules and challenge someone, instead of coming in here all timid with hat in hand like a wide eyed orphan waif asking for some more gruel. On the other hand, as you are from Minnesota, maybe the words are a bit big for you so try this : Challenge someone like you have testicles without actually talking about your testicles. On the gripping hand, this thread was started by 37mm so you really can't be blamed for not knowing what is going on..... I am actually amazed that this one made it this long without being closed down. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timu24 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Yeah, but a Junior Member challenging a member takes more than testicles. It takes stupidity. Okay NG cavscout I challenge my Gnome against your uber Gnome. The one that ate all the cats. Mine only eats squrriels right now, but I am starting to give it cat testicles. Gotta start somewhere right? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Not me you silly little little Minnestroneannie. I am a high and mighty Kanigget. Start with someone just about your level. Hmmm, Stoat comes to mind, he is small and relatively mindless (much like you), well, besides smacking me around like a prison bitch who sashays around in daisy duke shorts and waxes his bikini line for a carton of Newports in the last scenario we played, but never mind that. Challenge him with some wit and panache, then come back and try someone a bit more senior, such as myself. [ March 04, 2006, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: NG cavscout ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Methinks we may have an imposter here! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timu24 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Fine, I wont give you the honor of defeating me NG cavscout. I sent Stoat an email. Lets see if he is brave enough. Nidan1, Yes you are correct I am an imposter. I think I wandered into dangerous territory by mistake. I will know become a lurker until Stoat replies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 No you idiot...the purpose of all of this is for you to stay around and challenge in here!!! not by emails, you twit! How else are the rest of us going to roar with laughter at your general ineptitude and obvious shortcomings in the use of the English language. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timu24 Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 Okay I challege you Stoat to a PBEM match. (Um what do I say next almighty Nidan1) Oh, I will play either CMBB or CMAK on the Axis side. Well I am a Minnesotan so I guess I could say things like Yah, sure, Ya betcha. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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