Will the Peng Challenge Thread be Represented 1:1?

[Hamstersss]

Originally posted by dalem:

Fine Corinthian Leather

Hey, Dalem, you think you could sum up that several hundred posts of 1:1 for me?

[dalem]

Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

Fine Corinthian Leather

Hey, Dalem, you think you could sum up that several hundred posts of 1:1 for me? </font>

[Boo Radley]

Thanks, Joe.

Although I don't know why I even bother. Here's another one who sipped from my font of wisdom, sat at my knee learning all the ins and outs, ups and downs, yaws and drifts of the Pool... but will he thank me? Will he ever stop by to see if I'm OK or if I need anything from the store? Will he call on my birthday or even send a card once in awhile asking after my health? Or will he, after taking and taking and taking all I have to give, just flit off without so much as a "fare thee well"?

Here's hoping!

[Boo Radley]

Oh, and Joe? Looking at your website, I noticed you have a map for my location, but with your usual lack of detail, for some reason you have me living at the corner of Bowery Street and Wooster Avenue, when I actually live a few miles to the East.

The only thing located at the corner of Bowery and Wooster is the city recycling cent... oh, you bastiche!

I'll get you for that one, Shaw!

[v42below]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

The things I have to do for the CessPool ...

BE IT HEREBY KNOWN TO ONE AND ALL

The SQUIRE of Sir Boo Radley known as 37mm, having completed the course of study (such as it was ... with Boo as Liege he could have mailed it in) as set forth and required by his Liege Lord and having Quested on behalf of his Liege Lord (some Quest ... now in MY day we had QUESTS) is now acknowledged and shall henceforth BE (Gawd, I think I'm gonna hurl) ...

Knight in Ordinary of the CessPool, Sir 37mm (and you don't GET much more ORDINARY than the House of jdmorse)

He is to be accorded all rights and privileges of said rank and is to be admitted into the fellowship of said Knights of the CessPool {I wish Bauhaus was still around ... we could have assigned him the bench next to him ... there's a lad could deal out some FELLOWSHIP) there to do the deeds and gain the acclaim due to one of such rank.

So let it be written ... so let it be DONE in accordance with the wishes of the Olde Ones of the Peng Challenge Thread (durnk on their butts though they likely are, if they had any moxie they'd have stepped in and forbidden this farce by fiat) and attested to and so ordered by the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread. (Just doing my job ... shaking the bushes here boss.)

Sir Joe Shaw, JPCT

Well I hope Boo will be there to clean up the imminent mess this poodle makes when he craps himself with excitement.

[Noba]

Surely you can find SOME reason ... surely?

Well, how ANYONE with BumFluff instead of a REAL BEARD can make it....I just don't think standards are high enough, nowadays.

Noba.

Mygoditsugly...

[Hamstersss]

Originally posted by dalem:

Sure thing:

Steve says it will work and be cool.

Oh, very good, carry on.

[37mm]

*Walks down the aisle to thunderous applause, spots stickypiss in the crowd, BOOT's the little fecker in the groin & then moves on*

*Takes his place at the podium & calls for silence, the cesspool immediately pipes down*

Well, well, well it has been FAR too long in its coming if I may say so but nonetheless if a an overdue due is more deserving (unlike that fecking V42belowpar who doesn’t deserve aught but a brick in the face) then doesn't that mean the due is WORTH more than if that due we’re, say, less deserving?

I would like to thank several people for this ‘honour’…

My liege obviously for putting up with me for so long & for not booting me TOO hard.

The Great House of (sigh) JD Morse (sigh) for taking me in & granting me with the power & renown that any member of that house (yes even the Belgian) automatically possesses.

My opponent’s; stickypiss (the very definition of filthy, pointless & European but at least he’s not v42below), Nidan1 (he ain’t that bad really... I mean lets put it this way at least he ain't that total pig swill drinking feck head v42belowpar)), the Oddstralian Noba (considering you’ve been so inept at handling a platoon of Tigers perhaps a COMPANY of tigers would be more appropriate for next time) and various others who I can't be bothered to mention (they certainly don't include v42below).

I suppose my blessed father Peng deserves some credit…

But let’s not detract from the star of the show for too long ey?

Most of all I thank myself for being so fecking great (and having enough stomach to put up with that fecking v42blowpar who’d normally be enough to put off ANY Messiah).

We all have a burden, a place, a destiny… some were meant to be great leaders, some great scientists or poets, writers, thinkers or… lawyers (snicker). I wasn’t meant for any of THOSE things…I was born for one thing & one thing only… to be a Knight of the Cesspool.

Is that a great achievement? Probably not

Do the terrorists care? Perhaps not

Will I ever appear on the cover of some rag of a magazine, the public asking did he? Most unlikely

Will my name be forgotten in the great span of eternity… NEVER, for as long as Peng continues, I will continue (the only question this raises is does that mean that 4v2farbelow will also continue for fecking ever)!

So most of all I would like to thank eternity itself for spawning me & allowing me to take my place amongst HISTORIES greats…

Alexander

Hannibal

Caesar

Napoleon

Peng

37mm

…?

*An explosion of clapping, cheering, cat calls & wolf whistles erupts from the crowd... even the 'smeg for brains' v42bastard cheers*

[Moraine Sedai]

*What 37mm fails to realize is that the clapping and cheering, etc. is for the fact that he has SHUT UP and will now SOD OFF.*

[stikkypixie]

Originally posted by 37mm:

Alexander

Hannibal

Caesar

Napoleon

Peng

37mm

…?

Alexander? Loser

Hannibal? Loser

Caesar? Loser

Napoleon? French

...

You see a connection here?

Btw Peng is your father? I didn't know he was a sperm donor. Good to see him doing something for the community.

[ February 06, 2005, 07:48 AM: Message edited by: stikkypixie ]

[Joe Shaw]

I would like to thank several people for this ‘honour’…

And not a word of thanks to me. After I worked my fingers to the bone updating the web site ... had to do it a couple of times in fact, I suspect the site was in denial.

Mark my words, lads, nothing good will come of this.

No Boo, you have to realize that, like children, Squires grow up and away from you. Even MY Squires, who were the recipients of FAR more instruction and attention that YOU ever gave to young 37mm, even they rarely drop by any longer.

Agua Peridido, that finest of Squires, has emailed me exactly once and Lars hasn't called me "My Liege" in ages ... he did hint that he might if I bought him another drink but he was pretty much in his cups having had his tenants pony up for a round apiece.

Joe

[Andreas]

I just came back from Rome. It was almost as cold as Paris. It is nice to know that it will be warmer when I go next time.

[Yeknodathon]

Andreas was built in a day.

[Hamstersss]

All roads lead to Germanboy?

[Patchy]

[Yeknodathon]

When in Andreas, do as the Andreas

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Patchy:

Looks like I need to do a bit of touch up work on my roots.

[Yeknodathon]

... chest expanders... *snort*

[Joe Shaw]

Right lads, time to turn to what the CessPool does best ... Political Commentary!

Oh I know, I know, BFC frowns on such but that's on the GF, surely they can't object to some honest and frank discussion of the issues HERE!

Besides ... it's high time to get off that disturbing photo Patchy posted because, well ... I mean DAMN I'm pretty hot in that.

So what say you lads to THIS disturbing bit of news ...

Togo Tweaks Constitution to Let Eyadema Son Rule

YES, you read it correctly. Faure Gnassingbe is going to be elected (if you can use that word) to be the new National Assembly President and succeed his father! As if Faure could hold a candle to the legendary Gnassingbe Eyadema ... not that I'm suggesting they still use candles in Togo ... though they might I suppose.

It's a joke and I think it's high time that the voice of the CessPool was heard in this matter. A stern note from US will put them BACK on the track to true democracy again and end this nepotismatic coup de main ... etat ... whatever.

Are you with me lads? Perhaps something along THESE lines:

Faure Gnassingbe, President, National Assembly, Togo ... Africa?

"Dear Mester or Maddam President:

It is with great horror and dismay that we has leanred of hte the untimely and too soon death and dismiss of your father, Gnassingbe Eyadema may his name live forever.

We being of the American CessPool would like to be forthcoming with a floral arrangement or wretah made of flowers for the funeral but we are not being in possession of Togonese currency for the purchase of said.

Please send us via email your bank account numbers and passwords so that we may be depositing the sum of American $516,345,233 in Amercian currency forwith you to buy flowers for the funeral. If any is left over keep it for candles.

You'res sincerely,

CessPool of American"

Joe

[ February 06, 2005, 01:22 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[stikkypixie]

But I'm not American! Besides don't we have more important news to worry about?

Rumours has it that Brad and Jen may get back together after all!

[BFCElvis]

Wamkers.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by stikkypixie:

But I'm not American! Besides don't we have more important news to worry about?

Rumours has it that Brad and Jen may get back together after all!

Don't try to distract me lad ... granted Brad/Jen were important but this ... this is WORLD AFFAIRS lad!

We must put aside our petty domestic concerns when we deal with the cares and tribulations of the World ... not YOUR part of the world of course.

Joe

[v42below]

Originally posted by 37mm:

*Walks down the aisle to thunderous applause, spots stickypiss in the crowd, BOOT's the little fecker in the groin & then moves on*

*Takes his place at the podium & calls for silence, the cesspool immediately pipes down*

Well, well, well it has been FAR too long in its coming if I may say so but nonetheless if a an overdue due is more deserving (unlike that fecking V42belowpar who doesn’t deserve aught but a brick in the face) then doesn't that mean the due is WORTH more than if that due we’re, say, less deserving?

I would like to thank several people for this ‘honour’…

My liege obviously for putting up with me for so long & for not booting me TOO hard.

The Great House of (sigh) JD Morse (sigh) for taking me in & granting me with the power & renown that any member of that house (yes even the Belgian) automatically possesses.

My opponent’s; stickypiss (the very definition of filthy, pointless & European but at least he’s not v42below), Nidan1 (he ain’t that bad really... I mean lets put it this way at least he ain't that total pig swill drinking feck head v42belowpar)), the Oddstralian Noba (considering you’ve been so inept at handling a platoon of Tigers perhaps a COMPANY of tigers would be more appropriate for next time) and various others who I can't be bothered to mention (they certainly don't include v42below).

I suppose my blessed father Peng deserves some credit…

But let’s not detract from the star of the show for too long ey?

Most of all I thank myself for being so fecking great (and having enough stomach to put up with that fecking v42blowpar who’d normally be enough to put off ANY Messiah).

We all have a burden, a place, a destiny… some were meant to be great leaders, some great scientists or poets, writers, thinkers or… lawyers (snicker). I wasn’t meant for any of THOSE things…I was born for one thing & one thing only… to be a Knight of the Cesspool.

Is that a great achievement? Probably not

Do the terrorists care? Perhaps not

Will I ever appear on the cover of some rag of a magazine, the public asking did he? Most unlikely

Will my name be forgotten in the great span of eternity… NEVER, for as long as Peng continues, I will continue (the only question this raises is does that mean that 4v2farbelow will also continue for fecking ever)!

So most of all I would like to thank eternity itself for spawning me & allowing me to take my place amongst HISTORIES greats…

Alexander

Hannibal

Caesar

Napoleon

Peng

37mm

…?

*An explosion of clapping, cheering, cat calls & wolf whistles erupts from the crowd... even the 'smeg for brains' v42bastard cheers*

*The entire Cesspool watches 37mm smiling and druelling in his sleep on the floor of the thrown room, as the twit mumbles something incoherent. An empty bottle of meths, a plastic bag and a packet of glue complete the sorry sight*

Boo - That's the strangest way I've seen anyone celebrate their Knighthood...

Joe - I told you no good would come of this!

Seanachai - I suppose I might as well take the opportunity to literally piss on the lad from a considerable height. Someone give me a boost.

v42below - Well, ordinarily I would say this is far too low, even for the Cesspool, but in this case it is my duty...nay...my privelege, to ensure this is done properly!

*brings Yeknod over and puts Seanachai on his back*.

Steady, Yeknod, this will only take a minute and you've seen stranger things.

YK2 - What's all this then? Oh no you don't, not in my thrown room!

v42below - But, your Majesty, do you not recognise the subject of this harmless prank?

YK2 - *glances at the motionless body on the floor* Oh, quite right. It's nice to see Seanachai's dangly bits still have some use. Well then, as you were. Just make sure you have it all cleaned up by the time I've finished my bath. *walks out, stopping only to pick up a bottle of red wine from under the thrown*

...37 seconds later...

*37mm opens his eyes and hears Joe's voice - Rise, Sir 370mls!

*as he looks around something seems amiss, however, all in the Cesspool seem to be smiling at him.*

"And why shouldn't they?, he thinks to himself, "Am I not their Messiah? Am I not the man of the day?"

*and then it hits him*

370mls - WHY AM I ALL WET? AND WHAT IS THAT SMELL???

v42below - Those are tears of joy, my friend...all 370mls of them.

[edited - because long posts are a pain in the ass to proof]

[ February 06, 2005, 06:03 PM: Message edited by: v42below ]

[dalem]

Sorry Hiram.

[Aguirre]

Well, well. My sometime enemy Low-Calibre (spelt but not bloody bolded) is now a knight. The way he has progressed from cherubic fool with poor manners to cherubic fool with terrible manners has been an inspiration. Or would have been, if I had been paying any attention.

This would be an appropriate time to talk about my profound dissappointment with the slipping standards of this ancient institution, except that it has few standards and their slipping is a matter of profound indiference to me. The justicar will froth and flail, v42below will pretend that he is more than a mild-mannered kiwi 'Regulatory Analyst' (whatever that may be) with a penchant for Fiefdom, Seanachai will spout random nonsense, others will join in, Americans will talk about model x-wings and celebrities and other incomprehensible matters and Australians will, er, drink; I shall remain indifferent.

And yet here I am; indifferent and unnoticed, perhaps, but here. The question arises: why am I posting? The answer is not simple. Indeed, there are several answers; but the question that strikes at them all is: why the Pool? There is something quaintly antipodean, colonial, even, about the undrained fester. Cricket in the tropics, gin and tonic, elephant rides, tiger hunts, good food and plentiful servants; one pictures one's great, great grandfather living in style off of the unfortanate natives, growing accustomed to comforts and liberties uvavailable in the Mother Country. The question within the question, then, is whether this freedom leads to improvement; to some kind of übermensch or noble savage; or to spiritual degeneration as well as that of form; just as my increasing use of semicolons asks: does comsumption of gin allow one to express oneself more authentically, or merely to mess up punctiation?

The answer, mayhap, will not be so easily gained as the question. But then, did not Zarathushtra say "Praise to Haoma, Mazda-made"? The confusion may well be the answer, rather than objectively contain it. Gnosis, not metis, is the path of the Pool.