Lorak Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: As I remember it the last time I played Lorak I left him twitching in a pool of shame.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Really? I am not one to say someone is full of ****... But, either your full of **** or I was too drunk to remember a turn of the game played. Now. In an odd and obviusly ill concieved idea on my part. I will admit that man for man in our last game your guys kicked my guys arse's. But, (and a big but it is), played to conclusion with no thought of casualties or the press of time. I am pretty sure (80%) that I would have won. I would label the result as a draw. We both had some people chewed up ,(myself more, but as attacker that is a given), and we both accomplished what we wanted. Now as for the game we just started. I'll lose. Not for lack of trying though. More due to the fact that Lady Luck is a bitch and hates me. Lorak the loathed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Reposting it, just because I can. And, I'd hate to think that anyone missed it from the last Incarnation of the One True Thread.... Next month: Eine Kline Cessmusik... And now: An Ode to Cesspoolers: A lot of people ask me... stupid fecking questions A lot of people think that... what I say in the ‘Pool or what I talk about in the ‘Pool, I actually do in real life or that I believe in it Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it Well, crap... if you believe that then I'll kill you You know why? Cuz I'm a CESSPOOLER CESSPOOLER You goddam right I'm a CESSPOOLER Yeah, I'm a CESSPOOLER My words are like a 88 pointed right at your head One flash: bang! Hey jerk, you’re dead whether you're a troll or grog Or a ModSlut, MadMatt or a “fix-this-now!” freak Ammo or load - hate grogs? The answer's "yes" friggin geek Grogophobic? Nah, you're just Pooleraphobic Starin at your screen, watchin my uber-tanks firin’ (Ooh!) That's my friggin’ force choice, you'd better stay back of em They belong in my battleorder, you'll never get hold of em “Hey, it's me, Heidman! Whoops, somebody shot me! Owww! And I was just trying to say for the 60th time...” WE don’t give a futz if you’ve got your nuts in a bind! How many wins you expectin to post after your second turn makes you a favorite bunker host? C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like grogs, now and then Right, Dorosh? Dig in and say AMEN! “Please BTS, this boy needs Penging Heal this child, help us destroy these demons Oh, and please send me a brand new disk, I read one of Maxumus’ posts and used mine to slit my wrists” And to think, it's just little ol' me, Each of us, Mr. "Don't Give A Crap," and we still won't leave I'm a CESSPOOLER Cuz every time I write a post, these people think it's just dross, to tell em how I feel the most - I guess I'm a CESSPOOLER but I don't gotta reply, I just whip ass and keep goin, I don't take crap from no one I'm a CESSPOOLER - an animal caged who turned crazed But how the feck you supposed to post nice when you just get flamed? So as I stayed longer and I got a lot smarter My patience shrunk smaller, but my ire got larger I drink hard liquor to screw me up quicker than you'd wanna send me a set up for My morals went thhbbpp when Matt starting waving his keys Thinks he’s hot stuff for just a minor employee Now don't ignore us, you won't avoid us You can't miss us, we’re rude, short-tempered and happy to slap your newbie ass with a line of crude We’re the bad guys who make fun of tools that try To buy their way into the Pool You trying to be one of us Cesspoolers, we as crazy as Pan *kch* the maniac's in Replacin the grog, cause Scott C couldn't make it today He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place “Mm-mm-mmm!” Oh, that's Scott with an Garand to his face Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place I told you Scott, you should've surrendered anyway (*bang*) I guess that'll teach you to play with the wrong people, eh? I'm a CESSPOOLER Cuz every time I write a post, these people think it's just dross, to tell em how I feel the most - I guess I'm a CESSPOOLER but I don't gotta reply, I just whip ass and keep goin, I don't take crap from no one Windows tinted on my tank when I drive in it So when I frag a bank, house, store, run right over who’s in it So I'll be disguised in it And if anybody identifies the guy in it I'll hide for five minutes Come back, shoot the reinforcements Fire at the spotter trying to friggin pry in my business Die, Ladders, bastards, brats, grogs This newbie’s lucky I didn't blast his ass yet If I ever gave a damn and got bored, I'd stick a straw in a bottle Hit my head with a brick and read crap on the main board You rule-quoting grogs ain't brave enough to say the stuff we say, so this gate is shut Hell, half the crap we say, we just make it up To make you mad so kiss our hairy cess-covered ass And if it's not a ‘Pooler that I make it as I’ll be a feckin lawyer doin’ Ms Scales of Justass We’re CESSPOOLERS Cuz every time we write a post, these people think it's just dross, to tell em how we feel the most - guess we’re just CESSPOOLERS but we don't gotta reply, we just whip ass and keep goin, we don't take crap from no one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 13, 2001 Author Share Posted April 13, 2001 Iskander ... let me see if I can make clear to you the depth of my feeling for your alleged poetry: THAT SUCKED! That sucked on more levels and in more ways than I can count and I can count pretty damned far. It sucked the first time I saw it and it sucks now, in fact it sucks MORE now because I had to see how badly it sucked the first time and then I had to see that it STILL sucked. If I have to see it again it will be the third time it will have sucked and each time it will have sucked MORE than the time it sucked before. It SUCKS Boyo, and you suck for having posted it ... in fact you suck TWICE 'cause you posted it twice. I hope that's clear, now, another instance of this type of behavior and I'll be forced to retaliate with Mormon Wives ... don't make me play the MW Card! You have been warned. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armornut Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Iskander ... let me see if I can make clear to you the depth of my feeling for your alleged poetry: THAT SUCKED! That sucked on more levels and in more ways than I can count and I can count pretty damned far. It sucked the first time I saw it and it sucks now, in fact it sucks MORE now because I had to see how badly it sucked the first time and then I had to see that it STILL sucked. If I have to see it again it will be the third time it will have sucked and each time it will have sucked MORE than the time it sucked before. It SUCKS Boyo, and you suck for having posted it ... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> For once I have to say I agree with all of what Joe says. Well said sir Joe! You have left me with nothing to say except; Iskander you need to sit tight and don't move because they will be coming to take you away ha ha he he ho ho! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo: Though I am loathe to bring such outer vileness into these sacred, slime- and scum-ridden halls, take a deep breath and observe the following offering from the outer boards:..<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Leeo, shut the hell up... we don't need our secrets let out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: THAT SUCKED! That sucked on more levels and in more ways than I can count and I can count pretty damned far.... it sucks now... it sucks MORE now ... it sucked the first time... it STILL sucked... it will have sucked... it will have sucked MORE... It SUCKS Boyo... you suck... you suck TWICE... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Damn Joe, I think you've hit on something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I hope that's clear, now, another instance of this type of behavior and I'll be forced to retaliate with Mormon Wives ... don't make me play the MW Card! You have been warned<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You're absolutely correct, it was just as bad the second time as it was the first. However, please don't do anything as drastic as posting a picture of your Mormon Wives, I am still not over the trauma of the first viewing! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriendlyFire Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: I have just created the gamiest scenario ever conceived. It is much more evil than any Crodaburgian nightmare, and by no means a Grogfest with accurate TO&E, rather it is a finely crafted model of hell. I was inspired by Berli's request for a whupping, so I shall send it to him, anyone else who wants it should smack me around a bit.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Having received a setup of said monstrosity, let me say just one thing to Meeks. "I'll remember this, you bastard". Fix bayonets, lads. This one's going to be messy. PS What's all this fluffy white stufffalling out of the air, then? Ho ****ing ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harpooner Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Originally posted by FriendlyFire: [QB]Having received a setup of said monstrosity, let me say just one thing to Meeks. "I'll remember this, you bastard". Having been privy to the development of this scenario, and having agreed to play test it, I'd like to state that it appears to be a withering test of a player's gameyness and ability to conserve and make use of limited resources. A true gamer's fight with mass carnage to be had on all sides. "Fix bayonets boys and bite those pins! It's going to get hairy out there. Some of you might not make it back." Potato mashers vs. Avocados.... creativity is life The more reinforcements arive, the more morale declines. :confused: confused? try it, you'll like it The Uber-Grunt Showdown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Iskander: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> If'd I'd seen this bleary map I'd have outfitted my men with axes, not rifles <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actual spot report from my hardy scouts: "Green 6, Green 6...we have something strange here...I hear something up ahead...yep, it sounds like: 'I chop down trees, I wear high heels, Suspendies and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie Just like my dear papa.' Green 6...orders?" Green 6: "Send in Bauhaus!" Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canuck Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 :mad: Givng my best warface!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesreidau Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 My god, they're bringing the smilies in too. Time to leave methinks. PeterNZ [note, all smilies were disabled in this post] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier: )Andreas (who is secretely feared by Stuka): <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Secretley feared? Oh contraire mon Scandanavian Elk fondler! I would not wish to come between the love felt between a syphylitic turd such as yourself , and his Nipponese butt slave. Do carry on, but get a room. ( There are yougsters present) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by harpooner: [QB] Potato mashers vs. Avocados.... creativity is life <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sounds like the beginning of a good recipe for Guacamole... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 After accusing me of being unable to understand a simple numbering system, MISTER Shaw has proven he cannot count past 6!. Having sent him a file designated JoevsSpeedbump06, he immediately returned the same file, making the claim that it was in fact my turn. Needless to say, he slinked back and forwarded the correct turn (designated with a 07 for those Cess regulars who also have problems using more than one hand to count), claiming <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> I've got too damn many games going ... either that or I'm just going senile <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I will leave it to the imagination of the Pool to determine which is the correct answer! Personally, I believe he is afraid of my spork toting troops! Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 13, 2001 Author Share Posted April 13, 2001 dssn Update! Bwahahahaha, the plan is coming together nicely! Of course I have saddled him with the evil formerly known as Jabo!, then I've messed with his head by sending his OWN FILE BACK! NOW he's actually creating email conversations to post. I recommend this method for handling scum sucking newbies, it's fun. I would also suggest that, if he lasts the course, shows some gumption and sticks around for a while, that some poor, deprived Knight consider him as squire. He won't ever be an Agua Perdido of course, but he's not bad. Joe [ 04-13-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Canuck: :mad: Givng my best warface!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That isn't a warface! Show me your real warface! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Having recieved and processed a turn of Meek's nightmare (playing against Elvis)... I will have to say it looks interesting. Looks really gamey, really bloody, but also looks like it will be a lot of fun. Much like riding around in a john boat beating catfish with baseball bats. TTFN Bastards Lorak the loathed P.S. Am I the only unlucky SOB that had to work today? I hate you all, almost as much as myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Must...fight...urge...to...post...smartass...useless...comment...to...machinegun... thread...Ggggggggggggaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgg!!!!! [ 04-13-2001: Message edited by: dalem ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak: [QB]Yes, I realize that TTFN means ta ta for now, does this make me gay or English? You decide.[QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Gamey? Gamey!?! It is an abstract rendition of the vagaries of war, dammit. Gamey? GAMEY?!?! What the bloody freaking hell is this limited vocabulary you have? It's desperate, it's chaotic, it's bloody, it's war, you mook, there's a thousand adjectives that describe it and 'gamey' isn't one of them. Oh and 'The Universe of Battle' isn't some kind of hokie sci-fi name for it, rather it's a phrase from the American Civil War referring to the period during which there was constant fighting with no let up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: Must...fight...urge...to...post...smartass...seless...comment...to...machinegun...thread. ..Ggggggggggggaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgg!!!!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Shut your pie hole and send me a set up already. back in your habitrail Meeks [ 04-13-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow: Shut your pie hole and send me a set up already.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Marlow, you imbecile, edit your qoute, you've resized the whole damn page. F-ing newbie. Oh and dalem, thanks for the idea. You still up for a game? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: Marlow, you imbecile, edit your qoute, you've resized the whole damn page. F-ing newbie. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Blame the earless one, alfalfa breath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow: Blame the earless one, alfalfa breath<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Fixed, whiney crap sacks. Get a real monitor next time. As I was taught by Cranston in the Orient: "You want a monitor big enough that you don't have to scroll down to see the beaver." Setups will go out to Marlowbrow and Delilah tonight. Or maybe tomorrow. Or maybe Sunday. Rest assured they will go out though, most probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted April 13, 2001 Share Posted April 13, 2001 Leeo my gamey use of cement was not your down fall. Your inept deployment, devoid of diligent terrain study was probably the single largest contributing factor. Attacking into the most logical portion of the map was a close second. Please feel free to make use of the afore mentioned uber bunkers in your defense so that I might demonstrate how to neutralize and destroy these expensive toys. Now get thee to thy computer and send the new set up. In addition notify your pathetic, piss-ant kinniget that after crushing you a second time, he will be expected to redeem the honor of his house by besting me in a scenario of my choosing. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. [ 04-13-2001: Message edited by: DekeFentle ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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