Mark IV Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Moriarty is a good choice if you like daytime television instead of a nice war. After bitter, vicious, twisted, taunting words here, I bestowed a setup on him, within minutes. Plus or minus. 36 hours later, I have... nothing. And he a fellow scotch drinker and all (hmmm- cause, effect?). Peng is a good choice for the zoologically adventurous. It's not at all like playing a human, or the AI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by Mark IV: Peng is a good choice for the zoologically adventurous. It's not at all like playing a human, or the AI. Why MrIV, I'm touched that you acknowledge my Podness. You truly are a champion of diversity. I am also impressed that mere days after I challenged you and you declined saying you are too busy, you are here speaking about a freshly arranged (though not yet consummated) battle with Hiram. This leads me to the following conclusions: 7. You are violently afraid of me and what I may do to your fragile ego. c. you are in urgent need of a victory. IV. Britney Spears has a voice that no amount of "tweaking" with electronic gizmos can make listenable. 22. You are having a visit from your little red-headed friend and are feeling a bit bloated and out of sorts. WELL THAT'S JUST FINE! see if I care if you want to play against Hiram more than me. Faithless bastard. Peng ------------------ "I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..." Hamsters/Meeks(!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by Iskander: No surprise there...and we thought you'd never be back...keeping your word like a Covenenter should, I'd say... Who's we? Yoo an' tha weasel ain yer troosers? Please note that I very politely did not mention the "gamey-bastard" tactic of running the PSW into my flank and rear... Aw noo, ya didnae get flanked did ye? Hoo did tha' happen? Mah armor didnae exploit a break through did at? Ye sorry wee bit o' moanin' sheep ****e...af'n ye hadnae let mae blow tha crap oot o' yer tank destroyers and shoot tha' giblets oot o' yer sorry arsed troops, Ah couldnae got tae ye rear, could Ah? A bit lak them gamey bastards tha conducted tha six week hikin' tour o' Frogland an' 1940. Af at's an mah kit, an' kin get there fraim here, Ah'll drive mah units where Ah leek. At's up tae yoo, ye pontificatin' fairey penguin, tae stop mae. Which ye did, ye gamey bastard, exploitin' tha weakness an tha AI whuch meant mah poor wee PSW 234/1 didnae shoot at a bloody thang tha whole tam ai were huntin' through ye underwear drawers. ------------------ You posture more than Marcia Brady with books on her head and you chatter like a dolphin near the fish bucket. - Dalem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Reprinted from the fun board (Edited to be made suitable for consumption by grogs and other humorless morons, cough Andreas cough). Peng Hath Been Defeated Yes, that glorious namesake, that incontinent (Not so bad a word), that (Not a bad word at all), (Very bad word) obsessed Peng has suffered a major topplement. Wait, it gets worse. Peng was not defeated by (Not a really bad word) American Airborne or the well-oiled machine of the British army. No, Peng was beaten down by a multinational force of French, British, Polish and Canadian troops. These men, proving that our fair nations can work together in peace, put a beatdown on Peng so severe that the poor bastard still doesn't comprehend English. Sweet Peng, beaten so bad that MrHappy even cried. (String of obscenities, mostly related to body parts that were never meant to be stuck into toasters) ------------------ Car Wars sucked hard. In fact all Steve Jackson games sucked hard. What the hell was wrong with you, back then? Didn't you ever hear about the d20?!?! No d20 back then fool. Cars Wars was only 4 dollars, what do you expect? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Update From Goanna Mobile World HQ All set up in Oman now, so you pack of flesh bags can resume the postion and prepare for more of my ministrations. I also took time to register at the More Filthy Cesspool and plan a poll soon on "Why Is Goanna Such a (expletive) Cool Lizard". Now, other than Hiram (who still needs to get himself a mac), I have begun swapping turns again with a few of you. There was one minor inconvenience when the AI on my work LAN failed to read my mind and forward e-mail to me automatically, but that has been sorted due to the assistance of a lickspittle that I dispatched to the office on the weekend to manually assist. I have current turns from Shaw and jdmorse. Those from Moriarty & bauhaus look to be FUBAR after their roundabout travels and I request new zipped files to the following address: William.P.Thiel@pdo.co.om All turns to me must be zipped henceforth or they will be returned with stern letters of warning and pointy things from our solicitors, Juvenile Delinquent and Morse. Now, off to say some potty words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: we know who the waterheads are. "We?" If that means you and Mr. Happy, then yes we do. I cite Mk IV's #7, "Do a search." Kitty ------------------ Hamsters at War! Chicks With Tanks Lorak's FTX "I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka The True Blue Aussie Slang Source The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website Jesus Dress Up! The McNoldy Group Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Edit: why bother... As for a choice of opponents when one is in the need of a string of victories, Bauhaus comes highly recommended, with the Germanboy Stamp Of Approval. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 02-05-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by Germanboy: ßBauhaus comes highly recommended, with the Germanboy Stamp Of Approval. hey... wait a minutes.. why did I get the "grade D" stamp??? and why is that butcher looking at me funny?? ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by mensch: hey... wait a minutes.. why did I get the "grade D" stamp??? and why is that butcher looking at me funny?? Oh, I forgot - Mensch also gets the Germanboy Stamp of Approval, with an added Goldmark for entertaining emails while he is losing badly. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by Major Tom: Of course he will find some way to take away the thrill of victory. He definitely is Germanboy's student. I wish I were. I sat outside his flat for days wearing nothing but my Phillies hat and a sign around my neck stating in bold letters: AndyStudenten But, he wouldn't even come to his window to ackowledge my presence. I danced and pranced about. I sang and caroled his neighbors. nothing ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by Mace: I would really like to improve my win-to-loss ratio, and from what I'm reading here, am I correct in saying that Hiram's the man(?) for the job? Mace You want a piece of me? You'll have to do better than that. dee bye dee dee bye dee ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 So that is why you have been avoiding games with me Mace!!! You're looking for an easy win like Hiram. You have heard that I embarrased the likes of Peng, Germanboy, Kitty, Moriarty and Goanna. And have a plus .500 win percentage with everyone else. It's all very clear to me now. ------------------ "When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by MrPeng: I am also impressed that mere days after I challenged you and you declined saying you are too busy, you are here speaking about a freshly arranged (though not yet consummated) battle with Hiram. Whoopsie-daisy! I had given you credit for an Eastern education and at least 3rd grade reading skills. To spare you the inconvenience of re-reading and comprehending: ME PLAY HIRAM AT XMAS. XMAS OVER NOW. ME PLAY MORIARTY. MORIARTY NO PLAY ME. HE DRUNK AGAIN. The correct answer, of course, is "IV". Britney is confused about the contribution she was intended to make to my war effort. For details of the custom voice therapy regimen I am recommending, see the Other Pool. Have Elvis read this to you slowly except for that last bit. You and all others (including Elvis, who will soon need a little cart for that ego of his) will die soon enough. I selected Moriarty, as the circling jackals will single out the weak and sickly from the herd when they are not really very hungry, but would like a snack. Or you could say that he selected me, the way an indeterminate bug selects your windshield out of all the cars on the freeway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by OGSF: ... ye gamey bastard, exploitin' tha weakness an tha AI whuch meant mah poor wee PSW 234/1 didnae shoot at a bloody thang tha whole tam ai were huntin' through ye underwear drawers. And you're being such a ... what's your marble-gargling term? ... bairn about it that you've gone outside the One True Thread to bitch to the grogs. Well, boo hoo, you peat-munching crybaby! This is what happens to cheaters like you! Now wipe those bloodshot eyes with your Cheviot-Rut Sporran and get on with dying, ya' Scots git! ------------------ "I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Kee-ripes! I take off for the weekend to give my nephew his first go at booze and porn*, and the Pool goes ape-[excrement]! Of course, after the typical day or two of tumult, it's bizness as usual (that business being rather like managing my nephew's dirty nappies, which must be similar to being Seanachai's squire). Pointless game update: Major Tom, gamey [son of unwed parents] that he is, sent me a setup with the flags I am to defend in the bottom of a barren punchbowl, where the moderate tree coverage must apply only to the map edges. So far, his canuckleheads have managed to destroy a barn with tanks and plow some fields with mortars. I'm not sure if he's planning an attack, or a rural redevelopment program. Nice to see Peng back in form. I like pods (especially stir-fried with egg, shrimp, rice noodles and red chili paste). Agua Perdido *He handled the gin just fine, but only drooled on the copy of "[Offensive slang word for a primary female sexual characteristic] [Perjorative term for women]!" that I bought him. I think it was because he was trying to teethe on the glossy paper, not because he was looking at the pictures. ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 hey... wait a minutes.. why did I get the "grade D" stamp??? and why is that butcher looking at me funny?? Not to worry Mensch, EVERYONE looks at you funny. GAME REPORTS: That's right sports fans and all the ships at sea it's time for Uncle Joey's GAME REPORTS, GAME REPORTS, GAME REPORTS ... DiDadadah Dadadah Dit ... jd: I was right, his other Sherman moved a silly little millimeter and WAS toast ... unfortunately he got one of my AFV's in the process but I can't see hide nor hair of the bad guys (i.e. jd's troops) ... is that good? Nonetheless I am moving on my objectives and actually have a plan ... such as it is. Mace: Stupid Rabbit ... Trix are for Kids! (that's an old American TV commercial for our ferrin' friends). NEVER ... repeat NEVER send an armored car to do a tanks job. Your poor Puma ate that zook round very nicely I thought and ... wait, is that a STUG coming closer ... oh joy! And your infantry is hunkered down so nicely in that little grove of trees, pity it's under a crossfire. My tankless Iowa farm boys will prevail yet, see if they don't. Goanna: I see that he's in the wilds of ... someplace ferrin', it doesn't really matter since he has acknowledged that he has a turn and will be replying. Foregone conclusion at this point of course, since it was part of Operation Lizard, but I'll let him pick the next one. Hakko Ichiu: Things aren't going well for his Ami's, apparently they are getting cold and have decided to pull back to the town instead of continuing the disasterous flank attack that left him with virtually no armor. I have time, I shall slowly and efficiently ... KILL THEM ALL! Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 MENSCH!!! Send that damn surrender turn! And go post in the cuss-able CessPool ------------------ The New CessPool WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!! must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai Croda, you rock! - Meeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by Croda: MENSCH!!! Send that damn surrender turn! And go post in the cuss-able CessPool I did you feather for a brain!!! if ya did not get it.. send the fecking file again cuz I cleaned out my lost pbem files.. all one of them.. thats ours.. jeez here I'll give you some vowels "Ai ou you" no file you owe me. ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 FYI for the Peng Thread: "Hiram's House of PBEM Goodness" is back in bidness. All of my opponnents should have gotten their turns this weekend. I had so much time to myself this weekend, I even played the AI a couple of times. I won 4 of 10 games against it too. Oh happy day. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Oh ... I forgot PeterNZer (how many times have each of us said THAT!) ... I haven't seen a turn from him for days. Best guess is that he saw my deployments, started weeping for his lost cause and has chosen discretion over valor by abandoning our game ... can't blame him really. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Updates from the Front: Mark IV: The Un-wed, Crack-Addicted Mother of All Battles is almost over. The gamey flag rushes are about to begin. Fish-kisser may just eke out a minor victory in this one, but only because he is a gamey barsteward with lots of Pumas and more artillery than the Boche used at Verdun. Geier: His left is in retreat, his right is collapsing, I have penetrated his center (sit down, Bauhaus), so what does this crazy, akvavit-swilling lutfisk muncher do? He attacks. Perhaps he is trying to make me laugh myself into apoplexy? Still, such perversity must be appreciated for what it is. Perhaps I shall reward him with Grog-Porn, since he keeps begging for it. (No, Bauhaus, down, down I say.) The Artisanal Cheese Wheel formerly known as Joe Shaw: Having used gamey Time-Reversing Tactics™ to change the outcome of the Turn That Was Lost in the Upgrade Process, he has managed to knock out most of my armor. I have none left now, honest. Really. I'm defenseless. Just an HQ and a bakery detail left in the town. It's a cakewalk. Come on, you know you want to. (Will someone please strap Bauhaus to a chair or something?) Germanboy: The designer (i.e., Rune of ill-fame) made a critical error which totally unbalanced this scenario in my favor: he gave Andreas armor. Oh well. Still, it's fun to hear the little sausage-eaters scream. (SOMEONE PUT A GAG IN BAUHAUS ALREADY! DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?) Lorak: Still too early to tell. I am putting my men into position in accordance with my carefully designed battleplan, while Lorak is fantasizing about Enya or somefink. I fully expect to treat him like the red-headed stepchild that he is.(Sit down ... oh, never mind.) ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 02-05-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Joe, I believe PintnerZee is currently hurling himself down mountains with a couple of sticks tied to his feet. I would have suggested he should try tying them around his neck, but he owes me money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 The Artisanal Cheese Wheel formerly known as Joe Shaw: Having used gamey Time-Reversing Tactics™ to change the outcome of the Turn That Was Lost in the Upgrade Process, he has managed to knock out most of my armor. I have none left now, honest. Really. I'm defenseless. Just an HQ and a bakery detail left in the town. It's a cakewalk. Come on, you know you want to. (Will someone please strap Bauhaus to a chair or something?) Lies, all lies, libel in fact since he wrote it (see, I have been paying attention since we have jd and Lawyer hanging around ... and you thought the stench was just Bauhaus again). Has he ONCE stated HOW the outcome of the turn changed? Has he ONCE acknowledged that HE was the one who did the conversion? Has he ONCE identified this mystery Panther that was supposed to have been destroyed but is now miraculously returned to life? HE HAS NOT! And yet he continues to heap scorn upon me for my alleged GAMEY tactics! The only thing gamey about the scenario we're playing (which, BTW, HE picked) is the rotten smell of the deplorable tactics he's using ... I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt you see by NOT suggesting that he's making it up as he goes along, which is probably true BUT I WON'T BE SUGGESTING THAT. As to the remnants of his forces now retreating to shiver in the basements of the houses of the town ... I repeat ... I HAVE TIME. Listen ... quiet now ... what's that sound? Could it be ... tank treads crunching through the snow? The whine of the turret, the clang of a round being forced home? Voices issuing commands ... and NOT English commands? Find a corner in your basement ... huddle close, be very quiet ... and pray. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 Originally posted by David Aitken: and if anyone steps out of line I shall come down on them (sit down bauhaus!!) Should I be offended by that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted February 5, 2001 Share Posted February 5, 2001 There seems to be some confusion here so I thought I'd add to it. There is an infinitesmall chance that I won't win the game against our very own and very loathed grogporn distributor and interestingly enough he gave the reason for this in his description of his game against Marky Mark: ... but only because he is a gamey barsteward with lots of (Crack ed.) Pumas (and ELITE Hetzers ed.) and more artillery than the Boche used at Verdun. I personally would like to blame (in no particular order) The 1.05 patch, The scenario tweaker, Meeks and definately Hiram (who hasn't read my replies before apparently. Is that a bad thing?). The fat Lady Presley is still in the building however so stay tuned. ------------------ Johan "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" Tom Waits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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