Berlichtingen Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Lorak! It has been pointed out to me, that when you carved my e-mail address on your wall of marble, you did so incorrectly. You will please note, that an '@' is required in e-mail addresses. Be so kind as to fix it... git Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 So that's beelzebubb@hell-in-a-handbasket.net, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 All Bow Down – It’s Time For a King Lizard Update Funny that in his spouting off at US$100/tenth that our in-house counsel jdmorse failed to mention the last movie in our game. Could that be due to the fact that he lost two more tanks last turn, one to an absolutely beautiful shot from my favourite of little pointy things, the pazerschreck. You do know that schreck=fear in krautspeak, right? Well, feel the fear you writ-spewer because my kit came fitted out with a half dozen of the little buggers. Now, not to go on too much about it, but it was one of those flicks that would ruin a TCP/IP match for me. All I did was give my little schreckie orders to get out from under the guns of the offending M-4, but he took it on his own initiative to fling one 218 m! shot that got the swine right in the gizzard as me old mum used to say. I had to watch it over, and over and, OK, just once more side on from the #2 view. Shaw continues to bring new nastiness to the second to last of the remaining OpLiz games. This time I mistakenly identified them as used Kombis, when they are, in fact, used Trebants. This one will go about three more turns until I lose the rest of my armour and I see how large a grease stain is made from my Frenchmen with this arty that I can never seem to afford myself. We must begin the negotiations on a return engagement, Joe Joe, something say with a dozen Morman wives in the balance. Things are getting downright weird in the latest Moriarty match. Where he can usually be counted on to plunge straight into even the most poorly laid ambush, things after 5 turns are quiet, maybe too quiet. Perhaps the scenario designer screwed up and he has no troops? Either that, or he’s been doing more of that book learnin’. The marathon of the nipples (don’t blame me for the use of the word Matt, Berli made up the damn scenario) with bauhaus has become quiet for an altogether different reason. Dead men tell no tales, and it will surely be left for my victorious Gebirgshamsters to write the story of this one following 30 more turns of tomblike silence or his surrender, which ever comes first. Berli’s steamroller moves on. My men have seen the face of evil and, frankly, they pissed themselves. What remains of the first ambush that was to leave the allies with pendant viscera is currently making way, post haste, for quieter accommodation and clean jocks. I do believe that the last three KT loss movie with Speedy might have just pissed the lad off a touch. He has followed up this turn by rushing several more of the buggers into the void and in the process has trampling over a few more of my Chaffees, the crew of one dying from faecal matter loss in their turret from an appearance at 75 m directly in front of them. Seems they didn’t quite get the fact that you have to set the ambushes that close to expect giving the kitties anything more painful than a skin rash. Elvis has decided to abort his OpLiz match since he had no chance of getting anywhere near any of the VLs in 30 turns without taking his KTs out of idle. We have settled on another QB with lots of random settings. He obviously had some memory loss due to his recent pharmaceutical addicition and forgot to mention is first two ever PBEM losses to me in reporting his “perfect record” in the pool. Perfect since Lorak started counting includes only one tactical victory over me in attack. I will be certain to expose this profligate liar for what he is in our current match that will be played for that helmet of hair he wears. You do just take that off and leave it on the nightstand while you sleep, right? On an aside, I notice that Kitty has taken to assuming the position of hall monitor and general tattletale for inappropriateness to the bald one. It’s a toss up, but I think she makes me even more sick than MarkVI and his hanging-participle police. What say we stick large amounts of gum in her fur and drop her at the nearest greyhound track as is fitting such a toady of authority. Finally, the combined wussiness of Seanachai, Peng, and Marlow is threatening to supernova and doom the entire of the USofA to a funk of wussiness for the next 30 years since all owe me turns. Hiram prevented their wuss factor from gaining critical mass by pulling his finger out and finally posting a turn this am gulf time. Too long and update for you? See that furry brown dog over there? Yeah, you know the drill. [This message has been edited by Goanna (edited 02-06-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by Goanna: All Bow Down – It’s Time For a King Lizard UpdateI notice that Kitty has taken to assuming the position of hall monitor and general tattletale for inappropriateness to the bald one...fitting such a toady of authority. LOL Ummm . . . no. Hell, no. I guess you missed the point. If I wanted to "clean anything up" in here I'd do something like this: http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/015730.html K ------------------ Hamsters at War! Chicks With Tanks Lorak's FTX "I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka The True Blue Aussie Slang Source The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website Jesus Dress Up! The McNoldy Group Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 <center>34-29-39</center> Peng 3:14 --------------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 So, considering our new language and behaviour policy, how do we taunt each other to a game? I have a couple of slots available and I want to fill them. Allow me to demonstrate: Iskander, you hetrosexual, mentally stable, not so good player of CM. I challenge you. So there! Wildman, Croda and Chuppy you not quite so hetrosexual, very bad players of CM, where are my files? To all you young and old pretenders, you are bad and I am good. You are ugly and I am... Erm... Not! I have room for one or two more games. If you don't play me then you are scared little babies! I hope I have not offended anyone, but my challenge is quite serious. Please check your diaries and let me know your availability. Thank you, and may you have a pleasant day. Sincerely stevetherat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by stevetherat: Wildman, Croda and Chuppy you not quite so hetrosexual, very bad players of CM, where are my files? *cough* I sent you two files yesterday, buddy. Considering my schedule usually keeps me to two or three turns a week, you should be licking my bloody feet now. ------------------ Soy super bien soy super super bien soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by Chupacabra: Considering my schedule usually keeps me to two or three turns a week, you should be licking my bloody feet now. Consider your toes suckled, dear Chuppy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Sir Lorak, Please take note: Meeks and I had a TCPIP game last night. For most of December the rabid one stalked me and demanded a game. I bet now, in the light of morning, he wishes he had not. In my striving for mediocrity, another opponent has felt the sting of my apathetic play. One more Draw for me and Meeks. ************************ You read it here first folks! Crazy man finds me on ICQ and starts barking Game Game Game Being the brave sort that I am, I found a rune TCPIP game and hosted. I was British and still took out every damn one of his tanks. How about that? Long live the magical Cromwell. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal [This message has been edited by Hiram Sedai (edited 02-06-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by jd: LORAK - inscribe in the Book of Sorrows that Jake "the paralegal" has suffered topplement in the pool. Legal bragging rights and the corner office are now mine! jd - win Lawyer - Loss Morse neglects to mention that I trounced him so badly in our first game that the computer was forced to surrender his troops to save him more embarrassment. Nonetheless, jd achieved tactical victory in this match just like Dubya won the presidency -- by an insider fix to rig the results. In fact, I have photographic evidence of Morse fondling the AI to gain favors on the battlefield which defy any rational explanation. I shall send the pics to the National Inquirer. Considering that the AI is less than 3 years old, this is a very serious child abuse felony that will land jd in deep doo doo, and perhaps enable him to meet new friends named Bubba in Walla Walla. This was my first snow and night game. But it was really more like playing Quake, with jd's Hellcats doing spin moves and actually ramming my Tiger to kill it. Then there were the 10 or 20 HMG nests that I'm sure is a truly authentic historical OOB. I kept waiting for him to fire his BFG. I venture that "jd" is really some 14-year-old snot called HotHand in Quake Arena who sent in his grandad's picture for Lorak. Can you say "gamey bastard", boys and girls? If you didn't have reason enough to hate lawyers before, then you certainly can join me in hating Morse. And I, an Honest Lawyer, was victimized. So jd got the better of my sick and wounded German hospital column attempting to pass peacefully on its way to see Frieda and the kinder in der Fatherland. I would like to say they fought valiantly, except they didn't. Truth be told, lads, they were Chickentruppen who had a very bad herren day. It's not nice to disapoint SturmLawyerFuhrer, and so the survivors were all sent to humiliate themselves to a mass audience in the TV show of the same name. I shall challenge jd to a re-match in the Name of Honor. In the meantime, I urge all of you to spit bile upon his evil bones. ------------------ Some days the sun just don't shine up a dog's behind. -- Catfish Hunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by Lawyer: Blathering revisonist history, blaming 5th columnists (George Will?) whining LOSER boy Jake, one word matters .......LOSER. Go play Hiram, Croda or better yet Check666 and learn how to play this game, and maybe then, I'll consider a rematch. After all I want this to stick in that pencil necked craw for quite some time. Oh did I say......Loser! Tata for now jd Toppler of barely-legal boy ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Ahem... Okay, listen up cause I am gonna only post this once and after this I don't wanna see any whiny e-mails sent to me asking "If I got the turn..." or "If I am quaking in my boots..." etc... As of last week I have re-entered college life in the pursuit of my Masters degree, THUS my time is scarce and unfortunately CM has moved down another notch on the priority list where it currently resides just below sex and right above food. I will try and get my turns out now and then but I promise you it will be sporatic. Now please return to your mindless sniveling and drooling. Jeff ------------------ First of all, David, you stupid sot, if names were meant to be descriptive, everyone would have the, culturally appropriate, name of, "Ugly little purple person that cries and wets itself." -Meeks. [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 02-06-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by jshandorf: As of last week I have re-entered college life in the pursuit of my Masters degree, Jeff HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You stupid bastard, why the hell did you do that? And believe me, the more work you have to do, the more "quick breaks" you'll find yourself taking. Have fun getting your dissertation topic approved! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! ------------------ Soy super bien soy super super bien soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super [This message has been edited by Chupacabra (edited 02-06-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by jshandorf: Ahem... Okay, listen up cause I am gonna only post this once and after this I don't wanna see any whiny e-mails sent to me asking "If I got the turn..." or "If I am quaking in my boots..." etc... As of last week I have re-entered college life in the pursuit of my Masters degree, THUS my If you had any brains at all you'd figure out how to get a masters degree in CM. But you don't, so it'll probably be something like "the effect of duckwebs on art in the latter half the 20th century" ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Lovely, Jeff on the verge of earning his Maser of Bation. Jeff, I'll take your surrender now. ------------------ The New CessPool WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!! must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai Croda, you rock! - Meeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 If one of you ProBoner legal secretaries would like to accept a challenge from me, you could consider yourself honoured. You both obviously have no cases on, and haven't done for quite a while, so I may be able to employ your time a little better (bet that got your pulses racing, hey; 'employ'. You were probably already spending your fantasy twenty dollars. Well, wake up you spineless ambulance chaser leeches, I wouldn't 'employ' you two to wipe my arse. I might consider you as the drip catcher beneath the office gent's, but that is it. Don't think I'm doing you two a favour either. Nothing could be further from the truth. Consider me a public servant, by taxing the reptillian blob you two have as brains, I am keeping you from pestering the helpless souls queueing in your 'projects' hospitals from your 'guaranteed' compensation payouts, of which you keep 80% of 'their' damages and all you had to do was get someone to read a couple of cases to you so you can quote some legal loophole which you disfiguringly twist out of context). Interested, mummy's boys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Allright, ratfink, you want a challenge so badly, I'll give you one. Since you gave me conscripts in our current game, (obviously knowing that you couldn't beat me with evenly matched troops) why don't you set something up where I have an extravagant force type like regular or somefink. On even ground, you cannot beat me. Hell, given the mewling schoolboys I have now, you'll be lucky to manage a draw. ------------------ The New CessPool WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!! must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai Croda, you rock! - Meeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 OK, CorpseRaida, You're on! (But, you'll have to wait a couple days, as I over did it last night and paid my girlfriend no attention at all. Subsequently, she is mighty pissed and won't let me play on my computer. Bitch.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Shandorff, As someone who also started their MBA this term. And let me tell you for an engineer FINANCE blows big donkey *thingys*. I have only one piece of advice. Find a way to play CM and read the boards at work. It's really the only way, just look at jd, maybe he'll even give you a position (down Bauhaus), because we know all lawyer-types are so generous. --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 She won't let you play? Did you say your girlfriend, or your mom? ------------------ The New CessPool WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! - THIS SIG FILE BELONGS TO A COMPLETE FOO. MR T WOULDN'T BE SO KIND AS TO WRINKLE AN EYEBROW AT THIS UNFORTUNATE BEING. PLEASE OFFER HIS PARENTS AND COHABITANTS ALL SYMPATHY POSSIBLE. MAY BE CONTAGIOUS. CONTAINS ARTIFICIAL SWEETNER, INTELLIGENCE AND WIT. STAND WELL CLEAR AND LIGHT WICK. BY ORDER PETERNZ Damn Croda. That is one funny sig!!! must suck to be you - Hiram Sedai Croda, you rock! - Meeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by Chupacabra: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You stupid bastard, why the hell did you do that? And believe me, the more work you have to do, the more "quick breaks" you'll find yourself taking. Have fun getting your dissertation topic approved! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Ahhh... Your support and confidence fills me with dread and loathing. I have also noticed my quickness to judge my frame of mind as "sane" when I decided to start this "epic" journey, but when your company pays for everything and the school is extremely reputable AND they bring the teachers to your work I just couldn't pass it up. So... stick it in your ear, wiennie boy! Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by Croda: Lovely, Jeff on the verge of earning his Maser of Bation. Jeff, I'll take your surrender now. Maser of Bation? What the hell is that? Sounds like some French sandwich with a bunch of that smelly, gawd awful, snot-goo cheese they call framange in it. As to my surrender... Ha! Don't be a fool. The fun is just starting in our little 5000 pointer. Jeff ------------------ First of all, David, you stupid sot, if names were meant to be descriptive, everyone would have the, culturally appropriate, name of, "Ugly little purple person that cries and wets itself." -Meeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by stevetherat: If one of you ProBoner legal secretaries would like to accept a challenge from me, you could consider yourself honoured. Dear Mr. Homo Rodentia: In regards to your request of this date regarding a "game" of Combat Mission I am afraid that I must decline at this time. Unforunetly, I find my current schedule quite full and am unable to accomodate all of the requests from mutant sychophantic (or is it syphilytic) cross breeds such as yourself. I have reviewed your application and found it totally without merit and devoid of sufficient taunts and/or expectorant matter. You have failed to demonstrate in an adequate and convincing manner that engaging in a contest with you will result in any betterment, other than my pool scores. Thank you for your interest in contacting our firm but circumstances allow us only to engage in contests that stand a reasonable chance to be exciting and a challenge. Your precis and curriculumn vitae, I afraid do not meet these standards. If in the future circumstances change, feel free to contact us again. Might I suggest that you scurry about in the danker areas of the pool and perhaps you may find an opponent more of your, shall we say, calibre? Sincerely, jd, Esq. ------------------ If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by stevetherat: Allow me to demonstrate: Iskander, you hetrosexual, mentally stable, not so good player of CM. I challenge you. So there! I hope I have not offended anyone... Thank you, and may you have a pleasant day. Sincerely stevetherat I don't know how things are in the Land-of-Doofs-Who-Can-Lose-A-World-Spanning-Empire-Just-Because-Some-Twit-In-A-Towel-Naps-On-The-Train-Tracks, but on this side of the pond, calling someone "heterosexual" is tantamount to "hate speech." If I were the type that even for a nonce took to that sort of Orwellian, left-wing, neo-commie tripe, I'd sic that gussied-up, hollow-headed public-tit parasite (aka Lawyer (not bold, quite deliberatly)) on your fetid, Tube living self! As for "mentally stable," ... THINK JUST FOR A MOMENT! **wait**wait**wait**... I'm posting to the One True Thread! Are you really that foreign -- excuse me -- stupid to think that a "mentally stable" person would be found here? Your reason is as weak as your taunts... were I not so determined to not do my job right now I should not have deigned to notice you with this post. Now return to your contemplation of why you live in a city that considers a building that looks like a gigantic, puss-filled boil to be an international landmark. ------------------ "I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted February 6, 2001 Share Posted February 6, 2001 Originally posted by jd: Jake, one word matters .......LOSER. Go play Hiram, Croda or better yet Check666 and learn how to play this game, and maybe then, I'll consider a rematch. After all I want this to stick in that pencil necked craw for quite some time. Oh did I say......Loser! Tata for now jd Toppler of barely-legal boy Thus Spake Zaramethusla. LORAK: Enter a default judgment major victory in my name vs. jd wimp on the board. His failure to answer a legal summons means summary judgement in favor of the plaintiff. That would be ME. Res ipsa loquitur. ------------------ Some days the sun just don't shine up a dog's behind. -- Catfish Hunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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