Welcome to Peng Challengeville!

[Seanachai]

My gods, what a headache. I am finally, after my long absence, caught up on the Thread. And not merely this present and rather boringly named version. Know, children, that I always read every word of every post in the many, many threads that this Thread is heir to. Mind, many of the posts involve the same, simple words endlessly repeated and flung like vomit out a car window on a lonely drive across Nebraska (shudder), but I read them nonetheless.

I have to say that in the last incarnation of the Thread of threads, the decision by BTS to allow us to transcend the arbitrarily annoying 10 page limit was efficacious. The folk had a chance to hit their stride, and we started to see at least the occassional coherent, interesting, and even witty post. I think it's a function of accretion. One interesting, perhaps humorous post is made, and inspires someone else to emulate it, posting something at least partially humorous and perhaps thoughtful in return, the general tone rises somewhat, the normal slinging of ape feces falls off as the minds of the inadequately evolved begin to register a 'higher' form of taunting, begin, in fact, to puzzle out how to use their own native language as something other than a club banging on a stump while they scream 'ook, ook, ook!'.

All too often, the '10 page limit' most recently enforced derails the entire process. We deal with the influx of yammering idjits who invariably pop up in the first 2-3 pages of the new 'Peng Challenge Thread', suffering through their dull and embarassing inability to display personality or intelligence of any sort. Then we plod through the next 3 pages or so of supplicants, with the odd flash of interest as one or another 'newcomer' seeks to engage the communal interest. Mind, I shun the phrase 'newbie', as it arrives with a whole load of attached assumptions and perceptions that need not apply. It doesn't matter if your member number (tut, Bauhaus, are you napping? Sit down anyway) is in single digits. No 'newbie' perhaps, but a newcomer to the Peng Challenge Thread is a Newcomer, no matter what their standing on the Board, in the Game, or most especially, the Real World™ itself. Then, about the time the badinage and banter are beginning to take hold, the heavy clank of the iron lock resounds, and the process begins again.

Well, hopefully the recent decision to allow the Peng Challenge Thread to rise to a more noble level, a more significant and appropriate number of posts, is a sign that both the Board software can handle the glory that is the Peng Challenge Thread, and that BTS acknowledges the need for it to reach 'taunting' speed before shooting the legs out from under it.

As many might note, I rarely indulge in 'game updates'. Partly this is because I am usually playing so many, er...'people', that I don't even have time to post here in my Homeland, and partly because I prefer not to encapsulate the personal, moral, and spiritual deficiencies of my opponents in brief paragraphs that barely do justice to their failings as life-forms, let alone to the games we are playing. I shall endeavour, however, to begin a new process of singling out the vermin I encounter on the fields of battle (as well as the occassional low-life posting wannabes sometimes found here) for individual treatment in posts that concentrate on their inadequecies at length, in a thorough-goingly 'personal' manner.

As for those who find me wordy and long-winded: indeed I am. By intent. Most of you have such a long, long, uphill struggle to sentience, let alone literary adequacy, that it is only by herculean effort on the part of my self and some of our more coherent and cogent members that you will be led into the light at all. Do I, in day to day conversation, speak like I write here in the Peng Challenge Thread? No, of course not. I am, actually, blunt spoken, raucous, and even vulgar. However, unlike many of you, I am capable of speaking just as I write here. Oh, and unlike most of you, I know exactly why it is that Bauhaus is asked to seat himself, and where it came from; I remember the arrival of each and every one of you boll weevils; and I can explain, at lengths too harsh to escape the notice of the Hague, the entire genesis and evolution of the Peng Challenge Thread. Selah.

[ 05-01-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Abbott]

Whew, glad reading that post is over..

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Woot!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Abbott:

Whew, glad reading that post is over..<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As you actually read it, I've no doubts that we'll see a general improvement in your posting abilities, which, up until now, laddie, have been a bit limp. Although I rather like you, Abbot, as you rarely become excessively concerned with your own or other people's thingies; you seem to be getting enough roughage in your diet, so you avoid the rather continual and disturbing references to the act of defecation; and you spoke rather nicely in defense of the Peng Challenge Thread in the 'How Far is Too Far' or whatever it was called thread.

Now, continue to read my threads, contemplate the nature of The French, wrap a scarf around your mouth and nose and breath deep the very essence of the Cesspool, and I'm sure we'll hear you berating Peng Challenge Threaders like an angry D'Artagnan within the week.

[Abbott]

Most of you have such a long, long, uphill struggle to sentience, let alone literary adequacy, that it is only by herculean effort on the part of my self and some of our more coherent and cogent members that you will be led into the light at all.- Seanachai

Let there be light! My goals have been defined.

[Mr. Johnson--]

What do you want a whole forum just for Cesspoolers?

[Guest Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Johnson-<THC>-:

What do you want a whole forum just for Cesspoolers?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I believe the correct moniker is "Cesspudlian" and you, sir, are a puddle-jumper. Jump on out now, jump on out...

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

So, you're saying you have birds flocking about you?[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No.

Not of the avian type, but thankyou for asking!

Mace

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mr. Johnson-<THC>-:

What do you want a whole forum just for Cesspoolers?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

There is one, Mr. Jack-Arse. And it's CessPooligan, not CessPudlian. Perhaps some of you prefer to profligate your own Puds, but most of us prefer the other spelling.

[BFCElvis]

Lorak, let the record show that through gamey tactics and other cheating methods that Joanna has felled me. He doesn't know it at this time because I just sent the surrender file.

That's 2 losses in a row. I am not losing it I blame either rune or society. They are to blame.

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

I am not losing it I blame either rune or society. They are to blame.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

While I agree that blaming it on Rune will get you sympathy from many quarters (jd in particular), I think that society is a better choice-- it would also allow you to rationalize your impending loss in our quick-battle. You could also blame hiram/Phil, for breaking your concentration by unexpectedly beating you (and winning against you at CM once, too).

[Joe Shaw]

Well, all I can say is Thank GAWD Seanachai is back. Not, obviously, because of any value in his posts (I think we've all given up on that) but because, by comparison, my posts are the very model of brevity and wit. An added advantage is that he will be forced to acknowledge his defeat in our game, though no doubt he will decry the Gods of War (i.e. Steve and Charles) for coding the game so that my Sdkfz 251's were able to take out countless M3's.

In other news, the Mallory Ivine Expedition has yet to find evidence of Sandy Irvine but the effort continues.

Joe

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

I blame either rune or society. They are to blame.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Then, Sir Elvis, since Rune did not design our scenario, your victory must be due solely to society's multitudinous machinations (oops, I just did a Fenkle). Since society has raised you to the point, the fulcrum, the Schwerepunkt, the very culmination of fate, whereby you have handed me a defeat, you can gain no comfort, nor credit, from the fact that you were ascendant in our little conflict. For had not you been on that cusp, that breaking-point in time whereby my Sturm-troopers and Panther were beatean, history, through society, would have transpired to put another git in your place, who would also have beaten me in this, the preordained Year of My Downfall.

Lorak! Please scribe thusly:

Elvis;Drubber

Leeo; Drubbee

Allied major victory.

Now, as the rest of you are as but the midges and mayflies that buzz, flutter, then die, you are momentarily blessed with the briefest flash of my disdain.

I owe many of you turns. I owe life itself so much more.

Now flutter off.

[imported_Wildman]

Aye, it does the heart good to see Seanachai back. Not because he's funny, but because I like to laugh at the people who are forced to live so close to Canada.

I have missed his ramblings, filled with nothing concerning CM, his own tactical failings, or bile being flung at another 'Pooler. No, no; his posts are to be read with a Walt Wittman peom in front of you while screaming "Carpe Diem" in a loud voice. Its just that surreal.

So from a squire to the Pool initiator, welcome back sir, and Huzzah!

[rune]

Dear Bottom Feeders,

While it does my black heart well to take blame of your losses. Oh what the hell, my scenarios are not for the weak of heart. This being said, I have 3 ready, but have a question here for the unwashed masses.

On this Rune Pak, would you care for just some maps without units? Or was that eunics? I have some evil maps in mind, then you can just buy your own units. Or would you prefer 5 scenarios with units?

Send a reply then go back to being the bottom feeders of the Cesspool.

Rune

Commander

Army of the Porcupines

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Burped by PzIIL:

Where is the para-literate PawBroon, who owes me at least 28 turns?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In the Spirit of the now defunct TeutonicLad I should ask the following:

How come you little McCarthies wankers could actually believe that your command of english is so beyond comparison to us fellow Europeans that we should be deemed semi or in your good days, para literate?

Between Andreas and I we have already forgotten far more than you ever fathomed as a whole in the multiple and downward spiralling iteration of the Pool.

After all you are only spin offs...

I owe you nothing Mr4 as playing me is probably the climax of your leisuringly unproductive life and in that very precise way you should be crawling on the mud licking the sole of my feet for this is the only time where you could hope being noticed by me.

You are all slugs and now reading the Pool is so uninspiring that it merely take a fast browsing to see if someone worth reading actually bothered to post.

Behold the words of Seanachai!!

Any of the 13700 actually.

What are you becoming?

Para literate? Sheesh!

Seeing as it is supposed to be The Peng Challenge Thread where people cometh adashing with swashbuckling challenges and with a quickness of wit only equalled by the swinging of French pairs, here comes mine.

Peng, the love I bear thee can afford no better term than this, thou art a villain!

Send a setup before bitting my thumb at you last till I'm gnawing at my bones.

Now if you could stomach my use of Shakespeare as I have to overcome the regular abuses of French culture by Senility, then be a man and shoot one my way.

The rest of you can disband as I have really no use for you being here in the first place.

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Long winded by Senility:

Unlike most of you, I know exactly why it is that Bauhaus is asked to seat himself, and where it came from.

[05-01-2001: Edited because Long Winded is too much wind: Seanachai]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well some of us Old Timers do know that also you Canadian Wannabe...

For those who are not Schooled in the Ways of the Old Pool here cometh some hints.

Mace stop humping my leg will you?

Bauhaus is our first line of defence against NewCommers and Rob/1s United.

He is our PIAT and as such he is spring loaded and with a spigot to boot.

Seeing as most of you have no clue whatsoever about your own vocabulary and since Spigot is coming from an old Southern French word (Provencal to be precise) here comes a definition:

SPIGOT: a joint for uniting pipes, formed by the insertion of the end of one pipe, or pipe fitting, into a socket at the end of another.

My traditional overuse of BOLD (and I hadn't say BALD so don't padlock it yet) is to highlight the operative words since most of you are MarkIVs.

Bauhaus is spring loaded and as with each and every Jerk'Inna'Box, he is just about to explode Spigot like (IE with a fitting precision beseeching the lack of collateral damage save for your Inner Crodas).

As such the posting of most of you requires the taming of most of us in the form of SIT DOWN BAUHAUS.

I'm glad I helped.

After all why is it that Penetration Data Thread should be left to the exclusive use of that Rexford fella?

[ 05-01-2001: Message edited by: PawBroon ]

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MadMatt:

The Peng Threads are permitted to exist for several reasons chief of which "WE THINK THEY ARE FUNNY!" and last time I checked , which was about 13 seconds ago, this was and still is our board to run as we see fit. And we do amd will continue to do so.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Brings a (sniff) tear to the eye, no?

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:

Well some of us Old Timers do know that also you Canadian Wannabe...

For those who are not Schooled in the Ways of the Old Pool here cometh some hints.

Mace stop humping my leg will you?

Bauhaus is our first line of defence against NewCommers and Rob/1s United.

He is our PIAT and as such he is spring loaded and with a spigot to boot.

Seeing as most of you have no clue whatsoever about your own vocabulary and since Spigot is coming from an old Southern French word (Provencal to be precise) here comes a definition:

SPIGOT: a joint for uniting pipes, formed by the insertion of the end of one pipe, or pipe fitting, into a socket at the end of another.

My traditional overuse of BOLD (and I hadn't say BALD so don't padlock it yet) is to highlight the operative words since most of you are MarkIVs.

Bauhaus is spring loaded and as with each and every Jerk'Inna'Box, he is just about to explode Spigot like (IE with a fitting precision beseeching the lack of collateral damage save for your Inner Crodas).

As such the posting of most of you requires the taming of most of us in the form of SIT DOWN BAUHAUS.

I'm glad I helped.

After all why is it that Penetration Data Thread should be left to the exclusive use of that Rexford fella?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Inspiring, really, it is. I truly do marvel at PawBroon's unique syntax and language perversions. All the more impressive because English is not his native language.

He is the Hunter S. Thompson of the board. Mensch is very good too, but his drug use is too obvious. Croda has the anger part down, but his logic is too easily understood.

If ever there be written "Fear and Loathing in the Cesspool", I nominate Pawbroon to do the job.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

If ever there be written "Fear and Loathing in the Cesspool", I nominate Pawbroon to do the job.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"We were about twenty posts down from the top of the first page when the Cess really kicked in."

- from Fear and Frenchmen in the Cesspool

[Mark IV]

Originally posted by PawBroon:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>In the Spirit of the now defunct TeutonicLad I should ask the following:

How come you little McCarthies wankers could actually believe that your command of english is so beyond comparison to us fellow Europeans that we should be deemed semi or in your good days, para literate?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Main Entry: 1para-

Variant(s): or par-

Function: prefix

Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin, from Greek, from para; akin to Greek pro before -- more at FOR

1 : beside : alongside of : beyond : aside from <parathyroid> <parenteral>

2 a : closely related to <paraldehyde> b : involving substitution at or characterized by two opposite positions in the benzene ring that are separated by two carbon atoms <paradichlorobenzene>

3 a : faulty : abnormal <paresthesia> b : associated in a subsidiary or accessory capacity <paramedical> c : closely resembling : almost <paratyphoid>

That's all I meant to say, really. And if Andreas, who does not exist, is ever re-functed, I will look forward to the "Book of Things Pawbroon and Germanboy Forgot". I won't buy it, but I'll look forward to it. If more than 2 people do buy it I'll use the hastily-discarded copies for pellet stops in my living room shooting range.

Thus, you will continue to render a public service, in addition to brightening our days here... a para-shoot, if you will.

[armornut]

Seanachai, would you like some cheese with that whine?

[armornut]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo:

Brings a (sniff) tear to the eye, no?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Just at the site of your ugly mug, it makes me cry at the thought of your sweet mom popping something that big and vile out of her. Poor lass

[ 05-01-2001: Message edited by: armornut ]

[Lorak]

Bah You Bastages!

I am going through internet and work hell this week!

Will be sending out turns shortly, I brought them to work and will send them from here.

Tome update:

chrisl-loss

Lawyer-win

Elvis-win

Peng-loss

mace-win

elvis-loss

Goanna-win

Elvis-loss

Elvis-win

Leeo-loss

Hope to be free enough to stop in later.

Lorak the loathed

[David Aitken]

I say, has anyone noticed that the USA won the Second World War single-handed and saved the free world in the process? As a useless Briton, I am gosh-awfully relieved that the Yanks were able to defeat the Germans and the Japanese before they got to us, because I don't think we had a Military back then, did we? The French certainly didn't, and the Russians were just a bunch of peasants who had to kill the Germans with their teeth and fingernails. I think CM should be modified to reflect the truth, I'm fed up of all this politically correct mumbo-jumbo. It should be renamed "Patton Kicks Hitler's Ass". And battles in CM2 should always start with unarmed Russians getting wasted until reinforcements arrive in the form of US soldiers and tanks and save the day (before deciding they might as well kill the Russians too).