Peng has been challenged since birth, how about you?

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

Now that Goanna (name unbutchered as per Cesspool rule Xi@(1-g)) is back, I beleive we are one over the quota for the Australian contingent.

May I be the first to cast a motion that we organise a possie to kull the population by that excess one.

'AussieJeff' would be an excellent candidate, what say you, jurors?<hr></blockquote>Just ONE over? Really? Hmmm, we may have to revisit the quotas then, but in any case I concur with your choice.

Joe

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I concur with your choice.

<hr></blockquote>

Roight, now where did I put my red hunting jacket? Ah yes here it is.

Release the hounds!

Arooooo, Arooooo!

[BFCElvis]

Happy Birthday Berli ya bastard...if I ever bothered to read any of the divel in here I would have been able to wish it to you yesterday.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

Happy Birthday Berli ya bastard...if I ever bothered to read any of the divel in here I would have been able to wish it to you yesterday.<hr></blockquote>

Don't lie, Elvis, my dear wanker. You can't be bothered to read this drivel because you <big>Can't READ!!!</big>

However, he must've hired a personal reader to allow him to accept my challenge, Wanker-prime that he is.

Oh, and my dance card is now full of ne'er-do-wells, so the rest of you blokes will just have to wait for your game (and Sir Roborat, You'll have to return a file sooner than once every three days if you want to do the bloody tangle with myself, you hoser!

Lastly, Seanachai, I'll be happy to await your eventual throttlement at my hands (or feet, or big toes, or follicles, or whatever, as appropriate).

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

{ahem}

He has returned.<hr></blockquote>

And you are?

Mace

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

if I ever bothered to read any of the divel in here<hr></blockquote>

What's a divel? Anyone know what a divel is?

BTS, please fix or do somfink!!!

Mace

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

Anyone know what a divel is?

<hr></blockquote>

Silly. A divel is a post by Elvis.

Oh, wait, I'm wrong. I was thinking of drivel.

"I'm wrong." Or AM I?

[Roborat]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:

Oh, and my dance card is now full of ne'er-do-wells, so the rest of you blokes will just have to wait for your game (and Sir Roborat, You'll have to return a file sooner than once every three days if you want to do the bloody tangle with myself, you hoser!

<hr></blockquote>

Once every three days! HAH, feel yourself privledged if I return one turn a week, you hoser wannabe. I see you managed to get as far north as Woebegon, what's wrong, afraid to cross the border and fulfill your dreams of hosertopia.

[Herr Oberst]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

{ahem}

...

Now if anyone would care to summarise the bile directed in my direction during my absense, you will be treated with the contempt you deserve.<hr></blockquote>

DAMNATION!

You mean that it is spelled Goanna?!?

and here I am, thinking all along that your handle was Guano!

Who'd a thunk it?

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

Originally posted by Shaw:

Sir Lars can advise me and I'll determine if the battle is acceptable.<hr></blockquote>

Sorry for the delay on this one, Bauhaus and Shaw. I have two more days of driving though blizzard conditions before I am safely back behind my home machine.

Should put me in a good mood, don’t ya think?

[ 11-26-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[PawBroon]

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time not reading any of your posts.

The knowledge that I wasn’t missing anything of interest was enough to keep me at bay.

And since I wasn’t perusing the Pool, all of your posts were thus boringly the same.

Non-existent...

But even though, through the clamour of fans and the adulation of foreign women, I couldn’t help but be told about the decaying of what you once stood for.

That some people could become mere shadows of their former selves, when they weren’t anyone to start with, is commendable.

But amongst that, like a jewel laying in the muck, I once again met Fair Emma.

The fact that Charles Darwin had missed the importance of centuries of bag-piping in the evolutionary process of the Scots in their enhancement of my social life is proof enough that he never dreamed of being a skinned goat.

But I’m digressing.

Emma then, tried that age old Highlander lass’ trick of offering me some whisky to get me in the mood.

That’s crass and a gross display of not knowing the French for we are born pre-moody and would just pretend all along to get to the point where alcohol is shed.

By now, most of you (even those trained by Pembelitos) would fret and wonder what would be my point.

In my own Seanachaiesque way, exceedingly long and boringly devoid of interest, I am here to inform Peng of the whereabouts of his left testicle.

Upon offering me a Limited Edition of Glenmorangie 1975, Emma told me up front:

You know Peng would give his left testicle for a bottle of that!.

Of course, it’s almost genetic for a Scot to tell you just how expensive a present is, but while the whole of Europe is about to use Euros, I was stunned to learn that the Scots were into Testicles…

I guess that her being privy of such information is to be credited on ICQ.

So now I’ll go on living my surprisifying life (don’t jump at me, I am merely throwing a bone at GermanBoy) and go sip from it.

Some of you are thick so please bear with me that I am solely talking about the bottle.

For short, Peng, if you’re looking for your left testicle, it’s here in Paris…

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PawBroon re Limited Edition of Glenmorangie 1975:

You know Peng would give his left testicle for a bottle of that!.<hr></blockquote>

I wouldn't be surprised if Peng cloned his left one, building up a collection for such occassions.

Mace

[ 11-26-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[**YK2**]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Personally, although it is my stated aim to "Crush All Australians", this is what amounts to a crusade sort of thing, a bloody quest, as it were, one Seanachai going off to smite the infidel for the greater glory of the Goddess, and bearing in a locket a post of the fair Emma (who he loves chastely, from afar, for her heart is given to The French, who Seanachai cannot help but admire, for his 'Broonian flights of wit and impudence, sigh, it's just like the Chansons du Geste, isn't it? I can easily see Pawbroon as Lancelot).

<hr></blockquote>

*Sigh* indeed.

Ohhhhhh such truths thou doth speaketh Sir Knight.......

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

I wouldn't be surprised if Peng cloned his left one, building up a collection for such occassions.<hr></blockquote>

No wonder the Pod exhibits locomotion of the bowlegged persuasion. I had always thought it was the Scotch...

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

I wouldn't be surprised if Peng cloned his left one, building up a collection for such occassions.

<hr></blockquote>

Note to self: "When at Peng's place, NEVER look in the medicine cabinet"

[von shrad]

The poolers are a great bunch of non-gamey bastards. Real opponents.

von shrad

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by von shrad:

The poolers are a great bunch of non-gamey bastards. Real opponents.

von shrad<hr></blockquote> Opps, sorry old man, not sure what you were looking for but from your description you've CLEARLY missed the mark by a WIDE margin.

Joe

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by von shrad:

The poolers are a great bunch of non-gamey bastards. Real opponents.<hr></blockquote>

Hey Peng, best check your collection of cloned left-testes. I think Von Shrad got his hand on one, traded it for one of Pawbroon's bottles, and sculled it all in one go!!!

Mace

[Panzer Leader]

What IS this ****e? I thought the powers had decreed that Peng was dead, but here you all are, with an "Allah Akhbar! rolling from your liquid lungs, you take up arms against the modernity of Gattica and charge, like the Poles, the steel beasts of Schwerpunkt with your wooden poles. "I thought they were wooden mock-ups" you said of the E-100 dual 88mm Maus as your steed was shot from betwixt your legs, leaving you straddling a hypersonic vaccuum of air known to some professionals as "disturbance".

But Lo. Lo and Anon you rise up from the pebbles and bracken to unsheath your blood-brother, your glinting Shiv, to once again tackle with iron what is now formed of supple yet retardant Kevlar, little knowing what Duke Leto knew, that to penetrate the gel, the trajectory must be s-l-o-o-o-w so slow. House Atomics are the drink of choice but you choose water.

I tell you forsooth what Time Magazine wrote in 1979, that Peng is dead. Our only salvation is that a curling hair from his nostril was plucked from its liquid tomb, its wicked womb, its crooked (his nose that is) cocoon, and put on the Peng Challenge Loom. Like Speilbergs A.I. (and his I. really can be A somtimes) this hair was stuffed into the nose of Ethan Hawke, and stirred in the cauldrons in the basement of Advanced Cell Technology Inc., of Worcester, Massachusetts, produced a likeness so close to the real thing, that the Challenge was born anew. Or was it a renaissance? A re-birth, or perhaps a life after death?

Who cares?! What really matters is that we are here and now and I'd like to offer a heartfelt challenge to each and every one of you. Sadly, I can't stand the lot of you, so I will limit myself to a few of you with whom I hold a special loathing.

Geire You once said you were never talking to me again. Is this still on, or are you ready to act like a man and fight one whom you propose to disdain? No answer...hmm, thought so.

Ethan-Peng-Hawke Though you have never deigned to wave your sweating palm in my direction, am I to understand that you only play seat-of-the-pants FPS CM Online, or do you occaisionally delve into the morbid uncertainty of REAL CM?

OGSF I once grovellingly said you were a funny guy - but I was just acting cool like I could understand that Brad Pitt Brogue (a la that one movie- you know where he's a gypsy) but I have since determined that your ignoring me could only mean that you were threatened by my High Irish, or as I like to call it Highrish, circa Scotty. Oops, was he Scottish? Hmm, the pieces all fall together...

Mrspkr Ha, a laugh that this girl among women should be named, but alas, it is two-fold that I wave the supple glove of battle. 1.) We were squires together once, ahh in those heady days, and 2.) You have been long absent from these murky depths.

Germanboy Ahh, never mind.

Anyhoo, to cut to the short of it, I would like to partake in a piece of Pecan Pie. No squids!

[Yes its true, I couldn't quite get it in one go.]

[ 11-26-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]</p>

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Who cares?!

<hr></blockquote>

No-one here, so Sod Off!

(In the nicest possible way of course.)

[MrPeng]

Gentleworms:

As has been enumerated in previous threads, the Peng Family Jewels are kept in a felt-lined mahogany box in the spousal unit's top-most closet shelf for the purpose of avoiding any and all further damage that they may cause. They were removed shortly after the production of the final Peng offshoot. They are brought out of the closet and (very) briefly displayed on only the most sacred of Peng family occassions, which, sadly it seems, occur less and less frequently as we age.

As far as mouse goes, which it seems is too far, he will get a game out of me when he gets me a bottle of that Glenmorangie '75.

and Speaking of Scotch, it seems that the dreaded liar "physicist" chrisl, he of the EventHorizon debacle, and I are to fight. Since he gave me a right rogering the last time, and I was the Germans on Defense, I would like to return the favor. Shall we say 1500 points? on a randomly generated map, (I'll wear feldgrau and attack, while he wears that awful dun and green combination) with seconds purchasing our units which we request? Who would do me the honor of being my second in the endeavor? Don't all fall over yourselves laddies.

Oh, by the way, we are playing for handles. If he wins I am the Gates-slut Formerly Known as Peng for an undetermined amount of time, and if I win he must use ALL CAPS in his. That should show the lower-case bastard, eh?

The Gates-slut Formerly Known as Peng

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Yes its true, I couldn't quite get it in one go.<hr></blockquote>

This one small statement explains so very much.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Who would do me the honor of being my second in the endeavor? Don't all fall over yourselves laddies.<hr></blockquote> By George that's the spirit Peng, a right proper challenge and an example for the young ones out there. As I have long been a proponent of improving the quality of the challenges around here (getting OGSF to use more than a bellow of rage would be nice for example) I feel that I must volunteer to act for you in this matter. Just let me know, Sir Peng and I shall do for you as well as you did for me in my match against Berli. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!

Joe

[chrisl]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Oh, by the way, we are playing for handles. If he wins I am the Gates-slut Formerly Known as Peng for an undetermined amount of time, and if I win he must use ALL CAPS in his. That should show the lower-case bastard, eh?

<hr></blockquote>

I don't recall that it said all caps in our email exchange. I was thinking just one or two, carefully chosen. Just the "h" perhaps, as it has a nice symmetry when capitalized. Ah, well, so be it. I will play for ALL CAPS vs the Gates-slut. In the interest of not causing such a furor as OGSF with his stinkin' long name, Peng will have the option of simply using Gates-slut, with the formerly known as Peng part left in his sig or the body of his post.

I too shall need a second--unless Shaw would be so gracious as to populate the map for both of us.

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: chrisl ]</p>

[Hanns]

Well it seems that instead of enjoying a relaxing four day weekend consuming turkey flesh and various fixin's, I have been trapped in the fluorescent lit limbo known as "place where I go and do stuff so I get paid" and doing the activity known as workin' lot's. Nothing like having the boss on Wednesday night drop of a feckin' 48 page list of crap to be done by Monday to ruin a weekend. Anyways due to this ****eload of busy work I've been unable to post these last few days. Hopefully this missive shall rectify that.

First off, my "battle" with OokeyJeff is showing some 'splodey potential. Like the potential energy released when his tanks 'splode all nice like. I've lost 2 AT guns for my troubles but have managed to wipe out almost all of his ADA assets. His plan now appears to be driving around in random directions in an attempt to confuse the flyboys or maybe make some interesting crop circle patterns in the wheat fields. Further analysis of PalsyJeff's actions is unwarranted as there is no signal amongst the noise. SitReps will be forth coming as necessary or when something amusing happens.

Upon reading Slappy's verbose soliloquy on so called Ozzie culture I have come to the conclusion that the only culture that Ozztralia posses is that which they use to ferment the swill that they affectionately refer to as "beer". Making a comparison between Ozzies and yeast is obviously unfair to yeast as it performs a useful function of turning sugar into alcohol, whereas most Ozzies babble on about their "yarbles" and brag about being "da Chunder from Downunder" or some such nonsense. Anyway the comparison is valid on more than a few levels. The first similarity is particularly apt. While there are different strains of yeast whose end product tend to be chemically similiar (C2H5OH) the resulting quality varies by a great deal. This would be akin to someone like a Goanna yeast yielding a drinkable porter while a Mace or Stuka strain producing something akin to Old Milwaukee or Schlitz Malt Liquor. Then there would be the TourettesJeff strain of yeast. I'm not sure there is any malted beverage crappy enough to compare to the utter drivel this Darwin Awards contestant has posted. Maybe the "soup" from the bottom of a bar dumpster that has been sitting in the sun a few weeks, then strained through the bowels of a jaundiced panhandler into a dirty syringe "might" be comparable but I'd tend think it would be much more palatable than any of FloozyJeff's posts.

To the rest of you worthless gits, may you gorge yourselves on leftover turkey and into a nice tryptophan coma and hopefully sleep apnea induced asphyxiation. For those of the "international" persuasion a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a handful of barbiturates works well I've heard.

Happy Eating!

Hanns