Peng has been challenged since birth, how about you?

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

What IS this ****e? I thought the powers had decreed that Peng was dead...

...

...Anyhoo, to cut to the short of it, I would like to partake in a piece of Pecan Pie. No squids!

[Yes its true, I couldn't quite get it in one go.]

<hr></blockquote>

Well, I'm not sure what to make of this one. In places it almost moved like it would soar, then got caught up in its own shoelaces. In many places, a disturbing mix of military, pop, and no-culture.

Still, I feel that he does show some improvement. I've written things a bit like this (never when sober, of course). I've been pounding the lads head with a sock filled with sand (a case of 'like meets like' if ever there was one) in an attempt to beat my turn out of him, and this, apparently, is the result. I think a few more good whacks are in order, all in all.

He's done far worse, of course. So we shall take this as a good sign.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Gentleworms:

and Speaking of Scotch, it seems that the dreaded liar "physicist" chrisl, he of the EventHorizon debacle, and I are to fight. Since he gave me a right rogering the last time, and I was the Germans on Defense, I would like to return the favor. Shall we say 1500 points? on a randomly generated map, (I'll wear feldgrau and attack, while he wears that awful dun and green combination) with seconds purchasing our units which we request? Who would do me the honor of being my second in the endeavor? Don't all fall over yourselves laddies.

Oh, by the way, we are playing for handles. If he wins I am the Gates-slut Formerly Known as Peng for an undetermined amount of time, and if I win he must use ALL CAPS in his. That should show the lower-case bastard, eh?

The Gates-slut Formerly Known as Peng<hr></blockquote>

Good on ya' Peng! When you get that rotten California swine down, make sure you get the boot in as many times as possible!

Make him pay for "Event Horizon".

[Panzer Leader]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Well, I'm... soar... In many places...I feel... sober... I've been pounding... a sock... to beat... a few more good whacks... good...<hr></blockquote>

Uh, where's my turn?((wretch))

[Seanachai]

Oh, and just to give everyone something to measure their evening against, here in Minnesota it's: Snow

Yes, around 5-6 inches so far of wet, heavy, brick consistency 'winter white', just slippery enough to slip in, and heavy and wet enough to drown in if you get knocked out in the fall.

A delight to shovel, truly.

So glad to see posts from The French, and the fair Emma!

I'm not sure that's actually Goann posting, though. I still maintain that Berli, Bauhaus, and Moriarity had his body sent off to southern Wisconsin to be processed into 'venison steaks'.

Still, if it is Goanna, welcome back, you pillock!

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Maybe the "soup" from the bottom of a bar

dumpster that has been sitting in the sun a few weeks, then strained through the bowels of a jaundiced panhandler into a dirty syringe "might"

be comparable but I'd tend think it would be much more palatable than any of FloozyJeff's posts.<hr></blockquote> Now THAT, by GAWD, is a post. Well done Grandsquire, here ... let's see if your GrandSire has any money for you ... Hey hey, a whole quarter for a GOOD BOY!

And chrisl, you'll have to find another second. FIRST because you CAN'T have the same second as your opponent, SECOND because your acceptance was pathetic and I'd never be second to someone who posted that tripe and THIRD ... well, you're ... YOU!

Joe

[chrisl]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

because your acceptance<hr></blockquote>

Apparently, dear Shaw, you didn't do very well in reading comprehension. You'll note a few pages back that I made the initial challenge to the Gates-slut formerly known as Peng, and he initially declined, until challenged again via email, where he biliously accepted, and provided the condition that should I lose, I should have to use caps in my handle. The posts here are a mere formality at this point, other than the request for seconds.

That said, and since you choose to be a pillock, I will request the services of a real second. And I'll go unbold your name a page back, as well.

(Done)

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: chrisl ]</p>

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by chrisl:

I don't recall that it said all caps in our email exchange. I was thinking just one or two, carefully chosen. Just the "h" perhaps, as it has a nice symmetry when capitalized. Ah, well, so be it. I will play for ALL CAPS vs the Gates-slut. In the interest of not causing such a furor as OGSF with his stinkin' long name, Peng will have the option of simply using Gates-slut, with the formerly known as Peng part left in his sig or the body of his post.

I too shall need a second--unless Shaw would be so gracious as to populate the map for both of us.

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: chrisl ]<hr></blockquote>

I will serve as your second, Chrisl

[chrisl]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty:

I will serve as your second, chrisl<hr></blockquote>

Many thanks, Moriarty.

The Peng soon to be known as Gates-slut suggested a random map. Would you or Shaw care to generate one and send it out to us, or shall we play blind? In that case we will each require the month and year of our battle.

And please, no caps until it's over.

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by chrisl:

That said, and since you choose to be a pillock, I will request the services of a real second. And I'll go unbold your name a page back, as well.

<hr></blockquote>

Now you take that back this instant young man!

I'll not hear a bad word said about our beloved Justicarat, he performs a truely splendid service to the 'pool and deserves a hearty round of applause and a good pat on the back from each and every one of us.

You, on the other hand, are not fit to lick the ear-wax from his pet chinchilla, Bernard.

Joe Shaw, if you were any more mighty, I'd proclaim you an 'Honourary Australian'.

Salute!

[MrPeng]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

Now you take that back this instant young man!

I'll not hear a bad word said about our beloved Justicarat, he performs a truely splendid service to the 'pool and deserves a hearty round of applause and a good pat on the back from each and every one of us.

You, on the other hand, are not fit to lick the ear-wax from his pet chinchilla, Bernard.

Joe Shaw, if you were any more mighty, I'd proclaim you an 'Honourary Australian'.

Salute!<hr></blockquote>

HOw much did PShaw pay you for that last post Stukey? Ooops, never mind, I forgot about the "HOUNOOURAOURARY AUOSTRALIOUN" bit. PShaw hates Strayloons.

So PShaw, You VOLUNTEER to be my second? How much do I have to pay you to get the troops that I ask for and not conscript volks? Hmmm?

The Peng-slut Formerly Known as Gates

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p>

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns:

Upon reading Slappy's verbose soliloquy on so called Ozzie culture I have come to the conclusion that the only culture that Ozztralia posses is that which they use to ferment the swill that they affectionately refer to as "beer".<hr></blockquote>

You made your conclusion based on a post about Australian Culture made by Slappy?

Tsk, tsk!

If I may make an analogy, that's somewhat akin to saying maggots published 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica' and advanced the Physical Sciences (it was Sir Isaac Newton btw) !

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>"yarbles"<hr></blockquote>

Aah?

That a new one I've never heard any aussies use.

If you're going to abuse an Aussie, please get the terminology right.

Kindest Regards, (ya nong!)

Mace

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

Aah?

That a new one I've never heard any aussies use.

If you're going to abuse an Aussie, please get the terminology right.

Kindest Regards, (ya nong!)

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Idiot! Poltroon! I happen to be an expert on Australia. I got watsed on Coopers Vintage Ale in Calgary when I was 19, threw up this crud called Moonshine on a shoot in Redmond in 1988, got the farts from a rather poorly brewed beer called Southwark Pale Ale, obtained on the pier at Santa Monica I think in 1989. I drank Boags by the barrel in college, and sipped a rather strange beer called Powers Big Red when I covered the Sioux City Plane crash. I had Tooheys Old at my wedding, along with a lot more Boags, drank a some pisswater called Crown Lager at Burning Man back before it became a tourist trap, drank Cane Toad at Pinkie Master's in Savannah Georgia while I sang The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down with my shirt removed and tied around my head. When I was on the Appalachian trail a nice women and her son gave me two warm Carltons in a little town called Rainbow Springs, North Carolina, and I drank a case of big canned Fosters in Orono Maine, throwing up for almost an hour into a snow bank while my girlfriend held my mittons.

I consider myself an expert on the culture of Australia also. I had Devil's Lair Shiraz in the Marriot Cafeteria across the street from where the WTC once stood, sampled Minchinbury in the VI, was given a bottle of Clarendon Hills for my birthday, and gave a bottle of Powerpull to my fiance, who promptly left me and took the bottle with her.

To top off my extensive knowledge of Australia, I ate last month BBQ Kangaroo meat. I have met Mel Gibson, Gigi Edgely, Virginia Hey (thankfully not Paul Hogan), and Bruce Spence. My favorite WW2 General is Leslie Morshead, of whom I have 9 books in my collection, and I even have seen The Odd, Angry Shot.

Now Mister Mace, thou sod, as they said in The River's Edge, Feck Off.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

I sang The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down with my shirt removed and tied around my head.<hr></blockquote>

well there's the mistake!

You should have been singing Tie me kangaroo down, sport with your pants undone, and down around your ankles in hope that the ladies take note!

And you think you know everything about Aussie culture?!!

Bleedin' amateur

Mace

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

You should have been singing Tie me kangaroo down, sport with your pants undone, and down around your ankles in hope that the ladies take note!

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Well, that is a difference. In the South of the United States, we don't pull our pants down and hope, we take our shirts off and know. Oh, and that pain you experience when you drop your drawers and start singing is not Australian Pride, its a guy named Crocadile mistaking you for a Ewe.

So as for that aspect of Australian culture, I am a bit to conservative for.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Well, that is a difference. In the South of the United States, we don't pull our pants down and hope, we take our shirts off and know. Oh, and that pain you experience when you drop your drawers and start singing is not Australian Pride, its a guy named Crocadile mistaking you for a Ewe.

So as for that aspect of Australian culture, I am a bit to conservative for.<hr></blockquote>

I said You, not us!

Mace

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[mensch]

Lorak!!

Mr. Joe has lost to me!! I was defending with a pack of bubble gum, paperclip and a furby doll and he lost.

JOE "wabbit hunter": LOSS

MENSCH "wasskely wabbit": WIN

I must add forest battles are a lot of fun specially when Joe has 4 big Panthers that can't do squat!! I just wondered where my fly boys were?? damn I was told I would have Jabbos.

To Joe, well met Cease fire. Although this Victory tastes bitter in my mouth I have to do a "happy dance" and laugh how you got Elmer Fudd'ed in this one.

menschy

[Geier]

Why is the sky blue? How many rounds of 81mm mortar fire can a Gebirgsjäger evade while reloading a panzerschreck? If this value is below 5 why is this not modelled in CM? Have you checked this? IIRC they were specifically trained to avoid 105mm while Sneaking down Slopes but I feel that it should work for 81mm as well.

Isn't there a difference between 105mm VT falling in French tall pines and 155mm in Belgian Scattered trees? Why am I asking all these questions that I don't want the answer to?

I read about a bird that only sang just before an artillery strike once, is this modelled? And if so, is it modelled correctly? Can't everyone run along and test this, I just made it up? And what about canteens? Anyone?

Bullethead: Why? True. How come? Does it smell really bad and is it modelled? I'm not arguing.

Jeff D: Can you prove that? Without a hat?

Thank you for your time. Expect long irrelevant answers to questions you haven't asked soon.

Go here for more of the same.

teJohan

[mensch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Geier:

Why is the sky blue?

cuz purple would look just to gay?

How many rounds of 81mm mortar fire can a Gebirgsjäger evade while reloading a panzerschreck?

easy! 3 per 4.567 seconds.. geez can you figure it out?

Isn't there a difference between 105mm VT falling in French tall pines and 155mm in Belgian Scattered trees?

yes there is you see the difference is the density of the Trees in France compared to the Belgian Trees. It happens that the Belgians use their Trees as a substitute sponge cake on Easter and the french use their Trees because they are so hard for toothpicks! Toothpicks you say?? ya the whole damn tree too!! you see the French have big mouths so aside from sticking their feet in them (national past time) they like to stick these French Toothpicks to make them look cool.

Why am I asking all these questions that I don't want the answer to?

because your a Swede?

I read about a bird that only sang just before an artillery strike once

Interesting is that the book you read after "See Spot run"?

<hr></blockquote>

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: mensch ]</p>

[Geier]

Originally posted by mensch:

cuz purple would look just to gay?

Would it though? Have you tested it and why aren't there any gay Frenchmen in the game? I read that most of them were. Have you ever met a Frenchman? Canister rounds were plentiful at the end of war.

easy! 3 per 4.567 seconds.. geez can you figure it out?

What are your sources? Finnish Sisu troops could evade 8 per 11.38 seconds. Why is this not modelled? Artillery fires many many rounds sometimes.

yes there is you see the difference is the density of the Trees in France compared to the Belgian Trees.

Bushes can turn on fire if you douse them in gasoline. Why can't the Stuart use Finnish jabo tactics?

Interesting is that the book you read after "See Spot run"?

True. I can't read anything but Finnish cooking manuals in Swedish. And the map was upside down. Strange that BTS should choose to omit this.

You want some more?

tejohan

[mensch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Have you tested it and why aren't there any gay Frenchmen in the game? I read that most of them were. Have you ever met a Frenchman? Canister rounds were plentiful at the end of war.<hr></blockquote>

yes I tested it! I got a letter after in the mail. There are no Gay Frenchmen in the game because Niger invaded Church Street, Hastings in 1923. I'm suprized you can read your socks are too short. I met a french man once he spoke Irish. Canister rounds were not plentiful at the end of the war because they started using ziplock bags and not bottles!! jeez!

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> What are your sources? Finnish Sisu troops could evade 8 per 11.38 seconds. Why is this not modelled? Artillery fires many many rounds sometimes.<hr></blockquote>

my sources are where everyone finds them, in the Garden tool area at the Pet store. Finnish troops were not modelled becuase they had a boycott on the boycott against them. Sometimes Artillery fires faster too.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Bushes can turn on fire if you douse them in gasoline. Why can't the Stuart use Finnish jabo tactics? <hr></blockquote>

Actually your wrong, bushes hide Scottish people. and Stuarts were not allowed to use Finnish Jabo tactics becuase sometimes they got free passes to the Cinema on Tuesdays.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> I can't read anything but Finnish cooking manuals in Swedish. And the map was upside down. Strange that BTS should choose to omit this.<hr></blockquote>

Sorry to hear about the book thing maybe you should try Reading instead. yes I know that, BTS omited it because Fall came two months earlier.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> You want some more?<hr></blockquote>

If you stand far enough you get dizzy.

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: mensch because, tanks sometimes were used for battles]

[ 11-27-2001: Message edited by: mensch ]</p>

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by von shrad:

The poolers are a great bunch of non-gamey bastards. Real opponents.

von shrad<hr></blockquote>

Well, I suppose he's got the bastard part correct, but I don't know about the rest.

However, I do know that my poor Fallschirmjaegers had to surrender to this particular von shrad bastige 15 turns into a 35 turn game. It was a bloody town battle (ok, it was a bit bloody in the countryside surrounding the town, but in the city proper, it was just plain gooey). Things started promisingly. I directed some effective artillery onto his lads and tankety-things as they approached the town, and I was able to engage from the edge then slip away. However, it is not particularly healthy to send a platoon in an assault across the street to dislodge a company of unsuppressed Tommies entrenched in a heavy building.

"I coulda been a contenda."

And what is up with my games lately? I either gain a stunning early victory (just ask OGSF), or suffer a stunning early loss (just ask, er, uh, yep, OGSF). It's been awhile since a game I was playing ended coincidentally when the last turn tumbled through the hourglass.

[Madmatt]

Settle down all!

Do I need to come in and whip some pengster keister or can you guys play nice??? Also, start thinking up new thread titles as this one is getting close to capacity.

Madmatt

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Ohjoy, chrisl has seen fit to respond ... in his fashion ... to my post: Apparently, dear Shaw, you didn't do very well in reading comprehension. You'll note a few pages back that I made the initial challenge to the Gates-slut formerly known as Peng, and he initially declined, until challenged again via email, where he biliously accepted, and provided the condition that should I lose, I should have to use caps in my handle. The posts here are a mere formality at this point, other than the request for seconds.<hr></blockquote> And what of points FIRST and THIRD ya bleedin' idjit? And it was STILL tripe, be it an acceptance or a challenge!

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>The Peng soon to be known as Gates-slut suggested a random map. Would you or Shaw care to generate one and send it out to us, or shall we play blind? In that case we will each require the month and year of our battle.<hr></blockquote> Moriarty and I will work out the details after consultation with our primaries ... you just worry about completing a will.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Stuka posted: Joe Shaw, if you were any more mighty, I'd proclaim you an 'Honourary Australian'.<hr></blockquote> Now look you here you swine, the CessPool is the place for taunting and insults but THIS ... this goes too far.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Peng does me an honor: So PShaw, You VOLUNTEER to be my second? How much do I have to pay you to get the troops that I ask for and not conscript volks? Hmmm?<hr></blockquote> Why Peng ... you wound me Sir, in faith you do! Why I promise that I'll show you the same consideration you showed ME when you GAVE Berli and I that scenario we played. I have a sacred duty to perform Sir, just as you did. YOU CAN COUNT ON ME!

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Mensch correctly points out: To Joe, well met Cease fire. Although this Victory tastes bitter in my mouth I have to do a "happy dance" and laugh how you got Elmer Fudd'ed in this one.<hr></blockquote> This, my friends, is a prime example of what I call a Coyote Scenario ... one that is SO painful to play that you'd gnaw your leg off just to be out of it. All I had to do was take a Cease Fire, piece of cake by comparison. Of course the scenario is fundamentally flawed, not only was it historical (and therefore CLEARLY unbalanced) but hey ... I LOST ... Q.E.D.

Finally I note that GermanBoy is now posting as Andreas. No doubt he felt that, being a professional, he should change names since anything (*)German and (14)Boy doesn't inspire a great deal of confidence in the business world. My question is this: GermanBoy IS a Knight of the CessPool and the name should be bolded and spelt properly. Andreas, OTOH, is NOT. Should we treat this Andreas chap as an SSN? Until the ruling is in I have decided to bold and properly spell but I can change on a dime and go to, for example, Undress!

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns:

This would be akin to someone like a Goanna yeast yielding a drinkable porter while a Mace or Stuka strain producing something akin to Old Milwaukee or Schlitz Malt Liquor. Then there would be the TourettesJeff strain of yeast. I'm not sure there is any malted beverage crappy enough to compare to the utter drivel this Darwin Awards contestant has posted. Maybe the "soup" from the bottom of a bar dumpster that has been sitting in the sun a few weeks, then strained through the bowels of a jaundiced panhandler into a dirty syringe "might" be comparable but I'd tend think it would be much more palatable than any of FloozyJeff's posts.<hr></blockquote>

* coffee flying everywhere

Now this is a Mutha Beautiful Post

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Oh, and just to give everyone something to measure their evening against, here in Minnesota it's: Snow

Yes, around 5-6 inches so far of wet, heavy, brick consistency 'winter white', just slippery enough to slip in, and heavy and wet enough to drown in if you get knocked out in the fall.

A delight to shovel, truly.

So glad to see posts from The French, and the fair Emma!

I'm not sure that's actually Goann posting, though. I still maintain that Berli, Bauhaus, and Moriarity had his body sent off to southern Wisconsin to be processed into 'venison steaks'.

Still, if it is Goanna, welcome back, you pillock!<hr></blockquote>

What's a Goanna? And why do you think we'd ever let a bloody pommie into the state of Illinois? Do you really think we'd stoop so low to allow an Aussie to be made into food for human consumption? How dare you!