Peng has been challenged since birth, how about you?

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jshandorf:

It's about time a MBT title made me giggle. Or maybe it is just because I have meet Peng in person so I can really relate to it...hmmmmm.

Jeff<hr></blockquote>

Good gods, Geoffrey, kicking the canes out of the hands of blind people makes you chuckle. But we forgive you. Not for that, of course, but for coming in here at all.

[Seanachai]

Oh, and I'm reminded of another thing regarding Joe Shaw and Stuka.

Excuse me, you two? How will order be maintained amongst the complete, utter, and useless pillocks that strut in here, as useless as a doily on a mudslick, if you're going to catfight like...well, like 'young women of negotiable affection' arguing over a good corner?

While I wish to see a 'democratization' of the Peng Challenge Thread in terms of participation, that can only be achieved by the Seniour Knights closing ranks. Democracy always works better when the folk in charge are in agreement.

Stuka, lad, Knights 'taunt' each other, not 'belittle' each other. Gods know, there's usually fools to belittle here. Joe, send the poor bastard his turns.

If we do not maintain standards of behaviour, how can we expect the useless, the stupid, the inane masses yearning to posture free to meet any sort of standard?

That doesn't mean we have to actually like each other. That just means we all behave like bastards that belong to the same club, and use it to beat new members into an appreciation of tradition.

Which is a bit of a simplification, because, well, call me an old softy, but I think you two stupid bastards actually like each other!

Did I ever tell you two about my dissapointment, after all the promises of Elvis, over not seeing Peng throw up?

Still, he did climb the tree behind my building, and make interesting ook-ook noises until he needed more scotch.

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Seanachai]

Finally, before shuffling off to bed, I come to a moment of great anguish, and a moment of great jocularity.

I am speaking, of course, about the brutally libelous and vulgarly doctored 'picture' of myself posted by Patch, or Persephone as she's known to the Old Ones. She is, of course, Berli's wife.

Now, while I encourage no one to have a giggle at my expense, I have to say that when I encountered Persephone's, er, that is Patch's picture of myself near the end of the previous Peng Challenge Thread, I have to admit that I goddamn near pissed myself laughing.

Now, I know you're saying: but Seanachai, you are using rather strong language here in the Thread of threads.

And what I can respond is: Not strong enough. The pointed cap...the boots...they work on so many levels.

Ahem.

Now, far be it from me...er, actually, this is Completely in Keeping With My Role in the Mythopoeic Universe of the Peng Challenge Thread: I suggest that Patch re-register as Persephone. This ties everything up in a right Delian fashion.

Now, could anyone expect anything other than a rather humourous portrayal of myself from Berli's wife?

I mean, the Prince of Darkness goes home after a week of debauchery and evil, buss's the wife, gives the dogs a pat, and tells her of his travels. Next thing you know, I'm being portrayed as a bloody garden gnome.

The main thing here, I think, is waiting to see what she'll do to Peng. Not to mention Berli himself. It keeps me motivated.

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Mace, since you seem intent on encouraging this 'Aussie Jeff' creature to carry on in a very unbecoming way, would you like to take some responsibility for him?

<hr></blockquote>

No. Not really.

btw, nice to read a few words of wisdom before I retire for the night, even nice to read your posts, Seanachai.

I realise that most of the folk in the USA don't know what to make of us Aussies (look at Slapdragon, I think he developed an aneurism trying to understand us), but I think you've come closest to sussing us out!

It was that post concerning the antipodean fascination of projectile vomiting...we call it 'chundering' btw. A good beer drinking session isn't really over until you've got your head in the toilet bowl and are partaking of a few 'technicolor yawns'.

Actually it is my life goal to one day travel to the States, visit you guys, and throw up in your toilets...a very moving cultural experience for all of us, I must say!

Mace

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

No. Not really.

btw, nice to read a few words of wisdom before I retire for the night, even nice to read your posts, Seanachai.

Actually it is my life goal to one day travel to the States, visit you guys, and throw up in your toilets...a very moving cultural experience for all of us, I must say!

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Mace, lad, if you ever show up here, you can throw up wherever you want. Wouldn't be the first time (and after all that bastard Elvis promised us about Peng...)

You've got a place to stay, Mace if you ever show up here in the gods's country...mind, after Berli's stay, the couch is a little scorched.

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Noba]

At last. The Laggard returns the the file, and promptly complains we Aussies are not dying quickly enough ! The challenge is answered.

Well, If you didn't take so long, I could finish your poor troops off much more efficiently. I do feel some sympathy for your electronic cannon fodder. Obviously you will also add to their timely demise by your totally cretinous style (If you can call it that - style) of Lance-Corporal leadership.

Noba.

Corp; as in dead, you Dodo.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hair Obarstard:

I am a DOLT

The clues are all there...

the embarrassing sound of MY voice...

the odious smell that appears at the same time as ME...

the fact that no-one wants to claim responsibility for ME...<hr></blockquote>

Fear not yon DOLT ....... none of us really noticed your embarrasing gaff anyway .....a quick dip headfirst into tha Cesspitof****e shalt clear thy headpassages.....

Have a "nice" day....

JBC

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Let me begin by saying, Joe Shaw, Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread, that I have indeed been 'recruiting' again, as you put it.

<hr></blockquote>

Bravo, me OLD mate!! That was the most eloquent load of twaddle I have seen for at least ....... errrm..... 3 posts. Brought a tear to me lazy eye it did. Any hotblooded, suntanned, superfit, upstanding Aussielad (such as myself and allied trusty band of secret cohorts, of course) reading that weighty tomb would lust to jump into the Pool of Cess poste haste and give you a BIG FOZZY BEAR HUG (HARDER, my friends, till he oozes from both ends). I shall have to revisit the AussieGroupHug thread to encourage the rest of 'em to come and see the light thou hast shone so brightly. Agent Seanaussie, your Countercounterintelligence operation has been a complete success. I salute you Sir .... HAIL!!

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Bravo, me OLD mate!! <hr></blockquote>

Sigh. Lad, one of the things I don't do, is mis-represent what others have said. Mostly, there's no need. Generally speaking, their own words are enough to damn them.

But please, if it helps you find your feet in these deeper waters, mis-quote me as you need.

I also don't make mock, generally speaking, of people's monikers. And never, ever, of their Real Names (just ask OGSF). Mind, it's often a bit of a struggle to not have a go at their Board names. And I fully enjoy it when people take them to task. But it's not something I do, don't ya' see.

For you see, lad, if Pawbroon is D'Artagnan, don't you know, I am Athos.

What does that mean to you?

Well, simply put, don't enter into a duel of wits with people you couldn't defeat with a scout axe in either hand.

Or, equally, I'm a drunkard who's forsaken his birthright, but remains one of nature's noblemen.

Or perhaps it just means that you should move carefully from stone to stone in order to get across the water, eh?

[Hakko Ichiu]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

I realise that most of the folk in the USA don't know what to make of us Aussies (look at Slapdragon <hr></blockquote>

I find that Aussies in general make fine rugs for rumpus rooms and acceptable cat bedding. The ones with not-too-outlandish facial features can also be stuffed and mounted (sit down Bauhaus) for display in decors where post-modern irony is called for. Of course, there was that girl from Port Headland, but that's for another, rather different sort of thread (maybe Hanns can start that one).

As to looking at Slapdragon, no thank you, I'm still digesting my Thanksgiving turkey -- and damn fine turkey it was too, if I say so myself, and I do.

{edited because dems da rulz}

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

The Olde Ones speak, the masses nap ... no, I mean the masses LISTEN, raptly, did I say nap, I MEANT LISTEN, obviously, clearly.

In point of fact (or in your case Seanachai In point of HAT, specifically the garden gnome hat you sport ... can the hat ONLY be worn in Gnome then or in other parts of Alaska as well?) I have decided independently and completely apart from your wise counsel {supresses snort} that the unseemly quarrel between Stuka and myself is not seemly ... or perhaps aseemly.

While it was CLEARLY HIS error that started it all I feel that Knights of the CessPool should stand together in the face of the common enemy ... in this case that would be GauzyJeff ... and he's about as common as they come. Therefore I shall SEND his turn and the game may continue to it's inevitable conclusion, i.e. a victory for ME!

By the way (or BTW if you prefer ... or is that BTWIYP) I think your analysis of the Australians amongst us is spot on. I suspect that it's the marsupial connection that influences them to keep one hand in their pants pockets at all times.

The Justicariate is reviewing your defense and will get back to you in due time. The current attitude is all in favor of another trial but then MrSpkr has taken the recruiting of stenographers as his task so he MAY have a personal stake in the matter. We are, of course, all free to go slumming upon the outer board at times, but inviting people here Seanachai ... that's dangerous, you never know who might be reading your post you know ... hey, it COULD happen.

Joe

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

I realise that most of the folk in the USA don't know what to make of us Aussies (look at Slapdragon, I think he developed an aneurism trying to understand us), but I think you've come closest to sussing us out!

[garbage removed]

Actually it is my life goal to one day travel to the States, visit you guys, and throw up in your toilets...a very moving cultural experience for all of us, I must say!

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Well now Mace, it was during my medical visit that I first understood Australians. It the year since that time I have spent a great deal of time cogitating on the gentle folk of the antipodes, doing a few experiments with various australians caught in my nets, and trying to get the final piece in the puzzle tamped down.

First off, I know you drink dish water. I mean really, anyone who brags about Fosters as a fine quality drink I know must be a little at a loss from reality. And in drinking diswater, you begin to look a little more like your hero and the archetype for all Australians, Paul Hogan.

Now Paul Hogan is a guy who could never make it in Australia because he is, well, normal. Colorless, drinks dishwater, likes chunky women and stews of mystery meat, smells vaguely of water from the jakes because he read somewhere toilet water attracts chicks, and twenty years behind the rest of the world in fashion (really, someone needs to tell Australia that the platinum short hair thing was cool in the 1980s, now only they and Sao Tome wear it).

Anyway, the Paul Hogan thesis means that Aussies, and I except Tasmanians here since I think they posess the only hint of culture that these islands have, are basically dolts who cannot ammount to anything unless they move to Europe, the United States, or Canada. Maybe Brazil or Argentina, but I suspect that these two countires would remove their heads from their shoulders and FedEx them back to the land down under if they tried to step off a plane there, so that point is moot.

Realizing their doltishness, they become very sensitive when anyone points out how doltish they really are, or for that matter alludes to the fact the Paul Hogan does indeed come from that country, and that he could only make it by leaving there for other shores, who saw him as a fascinating cultural exhibit of this backward tribe of humans. (I mean really, even the Yanomaimi look at him as some sort of throw back).

So, enough slamming on poor Australia, let us point out something redeeming about this country.

Well, Mad Max was a good movie, and it was made in Australia. Of course when it's sequel came out, the United States had to rename it from "Mad Max II" to "The Road Warrior", but lets not throw stones in what is a time to revel in good things about this island.

Australia has some good wine. OK, there is two things.

Australia makes a good dumping place for whoever you don't want hanging around your own country. Now this is really a good service. Let us say you are a typical liberal in a typical democracy and you have a bunch of Afghan refugess hanging around. Well, you cannot very well have them living next to year and possibly messing up your new minivan, so you send them to Australia on board your nice new frieghter and then complain in the press when Australia wont let them in.

I am certian I can think of more, but it is time to make a leftover Turkey sandwich for me.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

First off, I know you drink dish water. I mean really, anyone who brags about Fosters as a fine quality drink I know must be a little at a loss from reality. And in drinking diswater, you begin to look a little more like your hero and the archetype for all Australians, Paul Hogan.<hr></blockquote>

*Sigh*

Slap, I thought I made my self clear in previous posts, and my fellow Aussies will back me up here (I know AussieJeff will have something to say. I mean he always has something to say. In fact, he has so much to say that I suspect he is in fact Mrs Mace hounding me on-line as much as off...poor Mace), but we export Fosters (not bolded because it is not worthy) and keep the good beers for ourselves.

We did the same to Paul Hogan. He now resides somewhere in the States.

Mace

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>It was that post concerning the antipodean fascination of projectile vomiting...we call it 'chundering' btw. A good beer drinking session isn't really over until you've got your head in the toilet bowl and are partaking of a few 'technicolor yawns'.<hr></blockquote> Yes, yes Mace, which is to say No of course. The ISSUE which you seem incapable of addressing (no doubt due to the blood accumulating in what passes for a brain on account of how you're upside down all the time) is whether or not CMBOBNQAFABB (Combat Mission Beyond Overlord But Not Quite As Far As Beyond Berchtesgaden) models Chundering (which may be better known to Americans as Flashing your Food, Puking, Praying to the Porcelin Goddess or Talking on the Big White Phone) properly or to put it another way:

Chundering to inaccurate?

I have found a source about the accuracy of Australian Chundering:

The numbers mean that 50% of the spread hits a square of x cm lenght and y cm width*

Macebarfer 41 (25 beers) : 13cm x 8cm

Stukapuker 40/41 (28 beers): 16cm x ? cm

Goannagacker 42 (21 beers) : 50cm x 13cm

AussieJeffomiter 42 (3 beers) : 17cm x ? cm

*the rest pretty much ends up on their shoes.

The source is this webpage. I highly recommend it as it has full color MPEGs, JPEGs and interviews with the members:

Official Aussie Chundering Page

Joe

{edited to correct link as pointed out by ... BIG SURPRISE ... Mace}

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Mace]

Justicar Joe Shaw, you have finally revealed yourself to be the GROG you in reality are!

You should be ashamed!!!!!!! (<---- lots of exclamation marks to display my loathing and disgust)

Mace

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]</p>

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

You should be ashamed!!!!!!! (<---- lots of exclamation marks to display my loathing and disgust)

Mace

<hr></blockquote>

Joe Shaw, take no offense at this most recent hurling of Mace, for he means not what he says.

To wit, since the continent known as Australia is south of equator, things there are done in reverse. Ergo, if it were moved north of the equator, then the continent would be incontinent, Down Under would be Up Above, Outback would be In Front and Mace's use of multiple exclamation points would be declaring his undying respect and admiration for you.

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]</p>

[bauhaus]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Nay lad!! Thou art not alone in this matter!! I, yes I too revel in the black techno/thrash/punkicity of the mighty Bauhaus. Indeed, at this very moment I have BAUHAUS - 1979-1983 Vols 1 & 2 playing at 150db as I type ...... eh sonny?? Speak up I say!!

Tell me, who could not possibly listen to DOUBLE DARE, IN THE FLAT FIELD, DARK ENTRIES, STIGMATA MARTYR, GOD IN AN ALCOVE, TELEGRAM SAM, ST VITUS DANCE, A SPY IN THE CAB, TERROR COUPLE KILL COLONEL, DANCING, HAIR OF THE DOG, THE PASSION OF LOVERS, MASK, KICK IN THE EYE, HOLLOW HILLS, IN FEAR OF FEAR, ZIGGY STARDUST, SILENT HEDGES, LAGARTIJA NICK, PARANOIA PARANOIA, SWING THE HEARTACHE, THIRD UNCLE, SPIRIT, ALL WE EVER WANTED, SLICE OF LIFE, SHES IN PARTIES, THE SANITY ASSASSIN, WHO KILLED MR MOONLIGHT, SATORI, CROWDS and as thou hast already spaken, the classic BELA LUGOSI IS DEAD without squeezing a tear from one's eye??

Just cast your eyes over that lot, ye troglodykes who have never sampled such wondrous walls of wailing industrialelectrotechnosound. Are ye so ignorant that ye cannot recognise references to yon Cesspit within?? Complete cognitive sentences may be crafted from these superlative titles by any eminent wordsmith (such as I, of course) ergo:

]<hr></blockquote>

Just because you can read and write titles of Bauhaus diddies off the back of a CD does not decrease my dislike for a feckin' SSN. You sir are still a git and a git you shall always be. Now, be a good boy and go play in traffic and let us be. Wanker.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty:

To wit, since the continent known as Australia is south of equator, things there are done in reverse. Ergo, if it were moved north of the equator, then the continent would be incontinent, Down Under would be Up Above, Outback would be In Front and Mace's use of multiple exclamation points would be declaring his undying respect and admiration for you.<hr></blockquote>

Coulda, woulda, shoulda!

But it's not, so there!!!

Mace

[Joe Shaw]

Okay two things ... not to be confused with two thingies which is a WHOLE 'nother thing ... ie.

Technically, Mace, GROG is a PRE-CHUNDER activiity as it's the sound your stomach makes just prior to the preliminary chunder.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Joe Shaw, take no offense at this most recent hurling of Mace, for he means not what he says. To wit, since the continent known as Australia is south of equator, things there are done in reverse. Ergo, if it were moved north of the equator, then the continent would be incontinent, Down Under would be Up Above, Outback would be In Front and Mace's use of multiple exclamation points would be declaring his undying respect and admiration for you.<hr></blockquote> Now that brings up an interesting point. Since water or any liquid, when squirted from a small diameter hole, will twist in one direction in the northern hemisphere and another direction in the southern, would the same effect (its technical, scientific name is the Chrysler Effect, IIRC) apply to chundering?

I think it's good that we discuss these important, technical issues from time to time.

Joe

[Joe Shaw]

Speaking of things that make you sick to your stomach, Mace and I have yet to break the stalemate (What do you call an old, boring friend in Australia?) in our CM games so we're embarking on another and need ... CRINGE ... either a map which we can populate or a balanced scenario to play. NOW KEEP IN MIND ... damnit, that I'm one of the co-designers of Ker Dessel (When You Want To Play CM in the Worst Way) so I know ALL about THOSE kind of scenarios.

All REASONABLE offerings will be gladly accepted. I know you clowns you see, you're not to be trusted ... none of you.

And lest someone thinks "Golly, what a great opportunity to STICK IT to the Justicar", HAH! I'm on to THAT old trick TOO. Any scenario and or map will be reviewed by people trusted by both of us ... NO SNICKERING damnit, I have friends here ... I pay them enough after all. And Mace will just give it to another Australian to look at who will probably give it the same enlightened scrutiny that a chimp gives a Lawrence Welk CD.

Joe

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

(What do you call an old, boring friend in Australia?)<hr></blockquote>

Ooh! OOOH!!!

I know this one.

Joe Shaw on Holidays

Mace

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

Ooh! OOOH!!!

I know this one.

Joe Shaw on Holidays

Mace<hr></blockquote>Bzzzzttttt! Ohhh, too bad Mace I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer but we want to thank you for playing and here's a copy of our Home Game so you can brush up and perhaps next time you can ... {audience shouts out} Smarten Up Aussie.

Ladies and Gentlemen that's our show for today but be sure to tune in tomorrow for another episode of ... {audience shouts out} Smarten Up Aussie.

Joe

[ 11-23-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[Leeo]

Alright you useless pile of bouncey, trouncey, full of fun fun <big>fun</big> Kannigets!

I need a game.

"I'm an Aquarius, semi-skilled at CMBO, and wanting for opponents. I often reply to several turns a day, so I'm not your average 'get-back-to-you-in-a-week' player. I like the Germans, but am willing to play any part (as long as duct-tape and rubber balls are not involved)."

I've been feeling like a ghost, and though I've been persistent, I've had to challenge everyone I've played. I don't want pity (as pitiful as I am), I merely want some more games.

Firstly; I'd like to say that Elvis is the largest piece of dung imagineable.

Secondly; I'd like to say that Seanachai is a pseudo literate blow-hard who knows not his Milton from his Bradley.

Part third; Of the hyper-dimensional Chi, MrSpkr has decided to troll his unimpressive wares upon the Boards Outre of late.

Sigma Prime; You all are a lot of pooftas who wouldn't know a challenge if it chewed you in the naughty bits.

Crawl off and die, as that would please me, the Lord of my Egocentric Universe.

Game on, anyone?

[Sledge59]

Daffy Duck dive-bombs in at 300mph and drops a 59lb sledgehammer on Leeo’s head…

“Thshure I’ll play you, bubo.”

Before rocketing off he gives the newly sprouted knot on Leeo’s head a gratuitous:

HONK HONK

[MrSpkr]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo:

"I'm an Aquarius, semi-skilled at CMBO, and wanting for opponents. I often reply to several turns a day, so I'm not your average 'get-back-to-you-in-a-week' player. I like the Germans, but am willing to play any part (as long as duct-tape and rubber balls are not involved)."<hr></blockquote>

Married white male seeks submissive other for domination. Amateurs, curious need not reply. Regular sessions a must. I will pound round after round of hot tungsten into your worthless shell. If you think you can take it, contact via email in profile.