I wanna be sedated by the Peng Challenge

[MrSpkr]

Jo-shaw, you feckless blighter. I continue to peruse your jejune postings in the futile hope you might actually utter something meaningful amongst your otherwise nugatory offerings.

So much for hope.

Jo-shaw, you are nothing more than the crusty exudate of a leperous sore on a worm ridden dog. I have scraped more meaningful and important things than you off the heel of my shoes upon exiting a public restroom.

I challenge you, Jo-shaw, to come forth from your hole and fight, you pathetic excuse for a cat's ass.

MrSpkr

[ 04-26-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Phillies Phan]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Blah Blah Blah

Joe

[ 04-26-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Joe, you are welcome to a cup of "shut the hell up". If I wanted any crap out of you I'd squeeze your home town.

[stevetherat]

Thanks for all the cards and good wishes. It touched me, really.

Wimpfag, I am laughing at you on the inside. I maintain a steady composure on the outside so as not to drive you going to your local mall with your service revolver. Are you allowed one of those yet?

Get your bitch to make a game and send it right over. I'm still recovering from a boozy birthday bash, but even with a pounding hangover you are a mere gnat in my Guinness. Extra protein, nothing more.

[jshandorf]

Keeerist! (As Peng would say...) I just can't believe that. Not a single soldier lost on Elvis's side? Not one stubbed toe? Hangnail? Not even a pulled groin? (Bauhaus...that's a good lad.)

Wow, Hiram you really know how to embrace the horns when you mess with the Bull.

The only way you are gonna improve is if you start learning from your mistakes. Regardless, I am starting to believe the only way you could be helped is if someone stood next to you with a ruler and rapped your knuckles each time you attempted some stupid manuver.

*Whack!*

Don't bunch your infantry and walk them through the open. Run! You fool! Run!

*Whack!*

Now do it again.

Not to brag, heh heh, but I have a few 99-1 victories under my belt, and even I make mistakes.

Heck, the other night I tried to ambush 2 STUG IIIs of Berli's with my Hellcat and my Hellcat died faster then you can say, "Shaazbat." But am I going to lose? No friggin' way am I gonna lose to that luffa.

You need to play some educational TCP/IP game where your opponent critics and helps you with your battle plan and tactical strategy.

With that said, I am way to busy to do it, so bugger off and ask PeterNZer or something. He seems to have a soft spot for you that could use some pokin'.

Jeff

[Joe Shaw]

Phillies Phan don't be too quick to assume ill intent on my part, far from it. We are, IMHO, talking Biblical quality material here. Parting of seas? Kids stuff. Forty years lost in the Sinai? Trivial. Multitudes fed from fish? A carnival trick by comparison. As Elvis rightly points out, you've won your share of games, and who among us is in any position to cast stones (to continue the theme a bit longer), certainly not I. There can be only three possible answers, either you have discovered a bug previously unknown to BTS (unheard of) or we have a documentable case of ... divine intervention! Not, I hasten to add, on the part of Elvis who is practicing to be as evil as Berli, but rather as part of an unknowable master plan designed to strengthen you for some ultimate test ... one which I have confidence you'll pass.

What's that? The third possibility? Oh yes ... well it boils down to ... S**T Happens! and it apparently happened to you. But you can't expect US to ignore it now can you? {smilie inserted ... because it's been too long.}

Joe

[BFCElvis]

Oh yeah I almost forgot a couple of things. Before we started playing he didsay he had a load on and I made a screen shot of the final score but don't know how to post it. Because this whole thing has shaken him to his foundation perhaps I shouldn't post it. Sorry Mike..ya know I love ya.

[Phillies Phan]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Inconsequential jabberings

Joe[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Joe Shaw Your version of the old testament had been jaded by Joseph Smith et al. I cannot fathom a future with your tenets in place. Joe, God has given you the gift of being silent amongst your betters. Use it now. When you feel that urge to defecate verbally, restrain yourself and ask "What would Seanachai do if he were here right now?"

Open now the Book of Peng to Chapter Three, verse two.

I shall smite thee with a big smitey thing and smash thy smiley faces with my bludgeoning.

Amen

[DekeFentle]

MrSpkr joey SUCKED up the cat long ago, asshole first I believe, so your reference to his pathetic resemblance to said anatomical feline part is no coincidence. Any reference he made to the SUCKAGE of someone else in this thread is the very definition of an oxymoron. Although it certainly SUCKS to loose 0 – 100 there should be no comparisons made to the supreme SUCKAGE which joey produces with every beat of his cowardly heart.

If we are to gauge joey’s SUCKING some kind of new expediential expression will need to be created by theoretical mathematicians to express the level of SUCK he employs. Even then that expression would fall far short of defining the Kinniget of SUCK’s true SUCKTOIDIAL nature.

MrSpkr I advise you to use the rest room here whenever you can. Doing so will preclude the necessity of scraping shoes, the mighty SUCK of joey boy handles that very well, thank you.

joey please direct your attention to the entryway, don’t stray outside mind you. Just glance in that direction as I noticed some scum building up on the door jam.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor, but joey’s SUCK is humanity’s bane.

[ 04-26-2001: Message edited by: DekeFentle ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Jo-shaw, you feckless blighter. {various blatherings omitted because they bored me} I challenge you, Jo-shaw, to come forth from your hole and fight, you pathetic excuse for a cat's ass.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ah yes, quite so uh ... Mister Sparker is it? No doubt a reference to your ambition as an automotive tune up specialist ... or an arcance reference to that first kiss you hope to obtain soon ... best of luck. I am, however, devastated to respond to your {cough} challenge with the news that you are, not to put too fine a point on it, unworthy. There are rules here, boyo, mostly unwritten because that's the way we like them. You have attempted, in your ham fisted way, to follow the rules of which you know and for that you shall be commended. You have singled out someone to taunt (Me), you have indeed sounded off like you have a pair (small, immature, doubtless unused but still existant) and you have issued a challenge ... be it ever so obtuse: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I challenge you, Jo-shaw, to come forth from your hole and fight, you pathetic excuse for a cat's ass.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Cat's ass, hmmmm, yes I ... I see ... I suppose.

You have FAILED, however, to recognize that a Knight of the CessPool does not usually engage in combat with Scum Sucking Newbies! What of my recent match with Speedbump, you ask? First he exhibited some wit and literacy in his posts that intrigued me, he showed, in short, some promise. You show nothing more than a passing acquaintance with a dictionary (though it obviously didn't extend to actually reading the definitions) and an overabundance of bile. Second ... he was the exception that proves the rule.

Taunting, my overblown friend (sit down Bauhaus), is more than just flinging random abuse into a post. TRUE taunting is a subtle blend and is not to be undertaken by the untrained.

With that in mind and wishing you and yours the blessings of an always kind Providence (I understand Rhode Island is lovely this time of year) ... Sod OFF!

Joe

[Abbott]

If you outlawed Peng Challenge threads, only outlaws would have Peng Challenge threads-Hamsters.

---------------

Oh, your still posting? Does that mean you might even find the time to play? I thought my panzershreck firing at your Jumbo may have scared you off for good.

[Abbott]

BTW Hamsters, while you were out this jem has been going.

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=018452

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Ah yes [blah blah blah], I am, however, devastated to respond to your {cough} challenge with the news that you are, not to put too fine a point on it, unworthy.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

An amusing comment from a being whose greatest accomplishment in life was 'getting to second base' with his cousin at the family reunion. Of course, you can be forgiven that mistake, as it would be difficult for me to tell who my cousins were if I, like you, had a family tree resembling fireman's pole (sit down Bauhaus).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>There are rules here, boyo, mostly unwritten because that's the way we like them.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Really? Based on the aggregate intellect of the Cesspool, I simply thought illiteracy was the norm here.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> [mindless rantings by one whose hobby involves playing "I can name that food in two tastes!" with droppings from his cat box] <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sigh. Some people should never have left the uterus.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You have FAILED, however, to recognize that a Knight of the CessPool does not usually engage in combat with Scum Sucking Newbies!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

JoShaw, I recognize you are a man of many fears. You obviously suffer from ablutophobia, medomalacuphobia (sit down Bauhaus) and catoptrophobia (though were I you {shudder} I might avoid mirrors too), but I didn't realize kakorrhaphiophobia was among them.

Please, for dignity's sake stop hiding behind the skirts and greaves of the other kniggets in the Cesspool. Its frankly unbecoming (and its giving Bauhaus ideas best left unthought).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> (yadda yadda yadda more excuses why Mommy won't let me play with strangers)

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Joe, I shall make this simple, in deference to you. I challenge you. You are a tiny clump in the diarrhea of life and I wish to squish you properly.

Send me a setup after you're finished crying to mommy about the other kids being mean.

MrSpkr

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lorak wrote:

I am a game whore. Thats why I bought a PC and not a Mac (no flame wars please).

[ . . . ]

My games....

I am either dying, fixing to die, or trying to pull off a draw.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think this speaks for itself.

[Joe Shaw]

MrSpkr, now that's a bit better. You had some relatively clever comebacks and actually used quotes from my post. You did, regrettably, fall back on the hackneyed and tired tactic of MISquoting (i.e. making up) my post. When will people learn that the true test of a response is to quote accurately and then use that quote to their own purpose. But all in all not bad. With more effort on your part you may yet survive here.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe, I shall make this simple, in deference to you. I challenge you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes ... I understood that, apparently you didn't understand MY response so allow me to reiterate ... NO! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You are a

tiny clump in the diarrhea of life and I wish to squish you properly.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'll repeat the advice I gave another ... More Class, Less Crass ... you were doing so well too. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Send me a setup after you're finished crying to mommy about the other kids being mean.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm sorry, where does it say that I have to play you at all? You, sir, are a scum sucking newbie who has been on this thread for a matter of days. Perhaps you can find some Serf or, if you're really lucky, some Squire who will accomodate you with a game. Perhaps when my new squire, Speedbump, is recognized by Lorak (assuming he emerges from his huffing induced coma ... that Wasp spray is nasty stuff I hear) he can be persuaded to play you. In the meantime, remember Icarus ... he TOO wished to fly too close to the sun.

Joe

[Lawyer]

Memo to George W.

How can the United States have a gas shortage when Joe Shaw spews forth daily more methane scented nonsense than a fleet of Exxon Valdez's with Captain Iskander tippling at the wheel? Just throw up a drilling rig and PROBE DEEPLY into Joe's vast untapped reserves of gaseous bilge located to the rear of his enormous pie hole.

Your pal,

Jake

[Lorak]

Ahh,

Grettings Oh Bastards of the pool. (and our ladies if they happen to stop by)

Tome updates:

Iskander-win

Mensch-loss

Joe Shaw-win

Speedbump-loss

Elvis-win

Phan-loss

shandorf-win

mensch-loss

Iskander has been promoted to a knight of the pool. He has met the requirments yada yada yada.... more bs.

My Game updates:

Iskander... although now a full knight. He is dying in droves. This should be over soon, and I don't think either side will even have enough men left for burial detail.

Elvis... This Meeks creation has really gotten out of control. I have resorted to buring buildings in the snow just to stay warm. Sadly all my men around that building have not the need for warmth any longer.

Goanna... The gamey one is still hiding. As gamey as he is I figure he has done something horrible like claiming the VL flags.

Moriarty...and I are still runing around in Berli's twisted vision of hell...nough said.

Croda the llama... unlike myself, he can't handle two diffrent games at once. I'll be sure to point out that he sucks at tribes as bad as CM once I find him on-line. All his base will belong to me. WOOT.

Tribes 2... although not a CM game, I am in a battle of addiction for my very soul. Lucky for me I have already sold it to CM. So it can only have the leftovers... or what Berli dumps in the trash.

Lorak the loathed

[ 04-26-2001: Message edited by: Lorak ]

[DekeFentle]

joey me boy, pray tell what endomorphic educator put the notion into your head that you are qualified to judge anyone’s literacy? Your boastful blathering continually relies on worn references to Brauhaus taking a seat and the ever present “I am a Kinniget of the Cess Pool” statement.

Literacy? Ha and ha again. What you consider literacy wouldn’t challenge a first grader. You continually hide from erstwhile challenges made in good PENGian style. Your bag of excuses it emptying fast oh mighty kinniget of SUCK, you are and have been for quite some time, repeating yourself. Although cut and paste is vastly easier than producing a new well turned phrase it wears thin SUCK boy.

Lorak do hurry and grant little joey another squire, poor Agua’s plate is full from all the games he takes on to hide his master's gross inability to compete on the pixeled field of honor.

Point of order: joey you have once again inferred that someone else SUCKS scum in two recent posts. I have proved beyond the merest shadow of a doubt that this is impossible while you exist. Scum SUCKING is reserved in total for you. Keep this in mind the next time your fingers resume their misguided meandering across the keyboard.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor and the pain of joey’s SUCK is humanity’s bane.

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

...trounced me like the poor, pathetic who-ore I am. Beat me to a pulp, tore off me nipples, ran me through, severed all me veins and arts, and spat upon my exposed gizzard.

Meeks: Destroyed, a topplement so severe as to be felt by my ancestors...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Unfortunely these words have an pregnant potentiality, I think I'll save them for use when the Trail of tears comes to it's final, pathetic and misearable existence and I am forced to bend my head to Elijah, who like the prophet of old has truly weiled the firey sword of judgment and redemption and found me woefully lacking....all that's left is the pain and humiliation I must endure......watch this space for further announcements

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>joey me boy ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> DekeFentle I really must apologize. In referring to past pages I see that you've made numerous attempts to communicate with me and I've not answered you. I must confess that reading your posts, frankly, puts me to sleep. It must be the endless repitition of the word "Suck" in all of it's wonder. Rather like a metronome in fact ... so soothing and measured ... suck .... sucker ... suckiest ... hmmmm .... zzzzZZZ HHuu?. Oh sorry again. I just seem to drop off and forget you ... I'm sure it happens to you a lot. In any case I do note that you have been attempting to say ... something to me, I'm just not sure what it might be. So here I am lad, what can I do for you?

Joe

[Marlow]

Lorak, while you are updating the Sacred Tome, please record my utter defeat at the hands of my own squire Wildwoman.

WildChild Giddy with excitement over this unexpected upset victory

Marlow Hangs head in shame

He can provide the ugly details.

Other updates:

jd "where did all my panzers go" morse is gunning my poor little Canknuckleheads down without mercy. Doesn't look good for the Maple Leaf; however, he lost an entire Panzer regiment in the process.

Shandy Baby continues to waltz obliviously into my trap. The VT falls next turn. Don't tell him, OK

SteveTheTurd sent me the most lopsided random force selection battle ever created. He has an entire Cav. Squadron, while I get one paper armored TD, and an assortment of tin-eared, toothless old men. Nevertheless, his armor is dying by panzerfaust and grenade. Love the up close and personal stuff.

Nijis is still hiding in the dark, while Speedy is busy dying in it.

OBGYN is busy shooting at my boys with his FlakPanzers-O-Death, too bad he's not hitting much. Body count: three chickens and a duck.

Crodachoo, where are you?

Finally, Mr. Big Shot Gub'ment Lawyer, seeing as we are both employed in the True Cesspool AKA N.W. Washington DC, a place crawling with corporate whores, slicked-back lobbyist, lazy GS scale lawyers, scum bag pols, etc… I believe that a battle for mastery of this den of inequity is in order. Send me your worst.

[Lorak]

so it is noted Marlow.

Wildman-win

Marlow-loss

Speedbump has made squire. Although he is Joe's squire...so it really doesn't mean much.

Lorak the loathed

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

jd "where did all my panzers go" morse is gunning my poor little Canknuckleheads down without mercy. Doesn't look good for the Maple Leaf; however, he lost an entire Panzer regiment in the process.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Lying gamey bastard, it was ONLY a Kampfgruppe.....so there MrI'lldefendsodarforwardthatwhenthatgameybastardjdfindstheseaminmydefenses, ieupthemiddlethenI'llbetheattackerbecasueheiswellbehindmeandcanisolatemyforcesand grabtheflagsandvictor ystrategythatreallsuxs need I say more?

Iskandross a Knight! Hell I hardly got the requisite minimum paens, fawning obsequious and toadying behaviors that a squire is supposed to render to his liege. I cast a black spotat least until he loses our current game then I have no objection.

Berlimoss seems to forget we have a game going or else a file has gone askew, either coming (bauhaus, out) or going. Actually theformersquireCroda has designed a scenario that seems to be fun and challeneging (besides I actually got to use a FT team to roust several squads of the one whose name cannot be uttered men from various buildings. Kind of fun when they survive long enough. But there is a ways to go...

===

edited to avoid scrolling past the hinterlands

[ 04-26-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[jd]

wankers

edited cause I am a dip

[ 04-26-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[Stuka]

I just love scrolling right for 3 hours to read a page of complete drivel.

Whoever is responsible for this, keep up the good work. May all your hamsters contract gout and leave you with an enormous vet bill.

[Stuka]

Nice one jd, do you drive around in a nice big tnak as well?