THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

[mensch]

Well here just for a short update on your local insane mensch™. Who da feck is this puller.. er pills er potler guy!! oh a young strapping lad.. heres a tip me boy *hands him a sharp rusty knife* take this everywhere in the castle of peng.. and if you are showering... leave the soap were it fell... Senachie is quiet as a cat and has a liking to soft young chalk white skin.. *shiver*

Well christmas was fun.. after 48 hour pain endurance of in-laws 1.0 I managed only to double my medicine to black out durring the anoying parts. On the good part I got a chainsaw and a Red Rider BB Gun (you'll shoot your eye out kid! - you know they were right.. so far I shot out 10 kids eyes.. boy this is fun), Got a cold from in-laws.. ain't they nice. and for a stocking stuffer a brand new straight jacket!!... only thing I didn't get that I wanted was that 300mm Rocket Launcher.

I'm flying off to canada for a week from the 3rd to the 10th cuz the Kripo is getting to close and Interpol found out where I live... its easyer to hide from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police or any Police in canada as long as I don't visit any Donut shops.

I hope santa brought you all not what you wanted.. and I realy hope Mace got that rubber Sheep that goes "baah!™", he had on his wish list.

right till the 11th no pbems from me.. wife 1.0 is keeping me busy here and away from my loverly Mac till I leave..grr grr.

I'll see you guys later! keep your eyes peeled on the Newspapers or News for any sudden violent arrests of me.

ps. Gerbilboy where are you?? I thought you said you wanted to come drop on by for a few drinks!?? and I wanted to test out my chainsaw!.. *pout*

menschy

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>By the way, it's been a while for me to mention that Berli is a God. Wow, I'm really beginning to feel better now that I've admitted that.

SETUP! I must have SETUP!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Any preferences?

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Have you still failed to understand the power you are dealing with in the LORAK ?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, I have a firm grasp of it... roughly the same power that sucks the water out of the toilet bowl when I push the lever.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Don't you think it is odd that every time you try to slander me, a foot of snow falls on your home?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not at all... I have been ordering snow every year since the early 80s. I seem to have finally gotten the technique down

[GI Tom]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Any preferences?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Only that halfway through when I'm pounding ya, that you don't come back with "Oh, sorry Tom, my laptop and home computer blew up into a thousand cesspool chunks, let's start again" like you did last time. Anyone remember that?? "The Great Berli Debacle of 00"

You may choose any preferences you like. I'm easy like that. (Sit down Bauhaus). Speaking of easy, (Sit down again Bauhaus) where has ol' windbag Seniletea been?? Normally we would be on page 40 by now, as his posts are a full page by themselves. And does anyone know about Peng?? Has he completed his journey of spitting up phlegm and lung?? Good day everyone.

GI Tom

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To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of weird sandwich.

[David Aitken]

Forever Babra wrote:

> Foolishly, under the impression that BTS had remembered "everything", I purchased no mortars for this one, knowing quite well they don't work properly in the rain. David, conversely, took advantage of a blue light special in aisle five and purchased a family pack of the blasted things.

Excuses, excuses. Next you'll be claiming that Sherman Fireflies and Daimler scout cars don't work in the rain either. I must admit, though, that the tactic where you pointed your Stuart in the opposite direction and waited for my Puma to kill it was impressive.

Just wait until my bombardiers have wired up the Kitchen Sink, and then I shall break open the other special offer I picked up, a multipack of motorised infantry.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

I hope santa brought you all not what you wanted.. and I realy hope Mace got that rubber Sheep that goes "baah!™", he had on his wish list.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I did!

But there's a set, gotta collect em all!!!

Mace

[dalem]

Hey Cromag - do I owe you a turn or do you owe me a turn? I'm about spent so we can probably settle this one quickly. Then I'll be up for hating again!

And since PeterPeterNZedEater is still down for the count, anyone want to send me a setup? I think that nijis guy was weeping a few days ago about needing a CM phrend.

And Marlowbrow - stop blowing up my goddam tanks, willya!?!?!?!? Criminy, it's like a gunnery range exercise over here!

Jshandjob - I creep forward and your boys are very good at hiding.

The rest of ya, whatever.

[jshandorf]

Oh... WooHoo is I.

My fellow brethren,

I fear I am to blame for the recent incursion of Pillar into the Mother Beautiful Thread.

You see it was a late night in CMHQ's chatroom and I must have not been quite right in the head and all, well, Pillar was there, as he is a lot of the times, rambling on about some nonsense or another that usually drives newbies from the chatroom like whores from Bauhaus.

In a grave error, that can only be punished by severe caning, I took up to mocking and pestering Pillar, as to his inane discussion, throwing in comments like, "I like cheese", and the such.

This obviously caught the attention of Pillar as to where he made comments, rather unfunny ones at that, as to my affiliation to the cesspool. At this time I berated him and scorned him for not averting his eyes in my presence but alas he persisted and I began to explain the ways of a cesspooler to him. At this moment I was certainly not of clear and sound mind and if I should ever be in such a state again I would wish my friends to run me down like the wretched road fauna that I would be, but alas no one was there to stop me.

In end result I told Pillar that if he wished to "understand" the pool (why anyone would care was beyond me) that he should visit it. How could I have known that he would take me up on it?

Ohhh the pain....oh the agony. I should be beaten something wicked for this. Oh yes, I should.

Jeff

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I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[Speedy]

Attention Lorak,

Once again I have toppled OGSF off his soapbox. To top it off I slaughtered him with French troops, how humiliating is that?

Final tally was:

Axis

135 Casualties (39 KIA)

60 Captured

1 Motar Destroyed

16 Vehicles Knocked Out

Men Ok 0

Score 24

Allies (my gallant frenchmen)

82 Casualties (25 KIA)

3 Mortars Destroyed

4 Vehicles Knocked Out

Men Ok 196

Score 76

Axis surrender on turn 12

Allied Major Victory.

In other news from the front:-

Mace wants to be a lawyer, he is quoting bylaws condemning my use of 2" mortar fireworks in a built up area, not that I could be bothered as I am to busy sitting at the bar and drinking all the beer before he gets there.

JDMorse and Marlow are both cheating.

Haven't heard from Roborat since the 23rd, he's probably still drunk.

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Work is the curse of the drinking class.

I have nothing else to say. Ya, quote that you rat bastards.

-Meeks

[This message has been edited by Speedy (edited 12-29-2000).]

[Lorak]

The Tomb:

Speedy-win

OGSF-loss

Mace-win

Rune-loss

Berli wrote:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>No, I have a firm grasp of it... roughly the same power that sucks the water out of the toilet bowl when I push the lever.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Indeed ! If your bathroom habits are anything like your posting habits, it must be a great power indeed ! Considering how much crap you must be filling it with.

Games...Games...Games...Oh where to begin?

Moriarty... HaHa he said I couldn't do it. Oh yes it was a fine challenge too ! He boasted that there was no way in hell I could lose to him. But I did ! I am victorious in my loss ! Just waiting on the file to see how good/bad I really did.

OGSF... Poor scot wannabe with a speech problem. Sadly the game has gone longer than he has the mental capacity to understand. I fear he is now as lost in the fog as his men.

Germanboy...still in jail singing showtunes and making friends I imagine.

Berli... The sad Gamey,cheating,goat hoofed one. Continues to throw tigers and heavy artillery at my amis cooks and clerks.

Oh and did I mention How great I am today?

Lorak the loathed

omnipresent authority figure

[Hiram Sedai]

"I don't know but I've been told; a big legged woman ain't got no soul"

Brothers and sisters of the pool, let us stop and reflect upon the profundity of that statement. We are all affected by the big legged women of our life. Marlow is jealous of them and tries to emulate them in word and deed. Shandorf knows what its like to have a "big ol booty" Croda is usually confused by them and offers to cut their grass.

Turn now to the book of Seanachai, Chapter 3, Verse 2.

Hiram didst smite OGSF most egregiously with the jawbone of a Shandorf. OGSF wept. The tears didst surely flow as the didst the beer of Mark 4. Beer and tears made most think of the country song that most surely turns the stomach.

MRPeng looked upon his congregation and shared this word of wisdom. "Find ye the maiden with hindquarters most generous. Wine, Dine, and (place number here) her. Be fruity and save the young lads for me. They will help me recover from my Poo Nomia most foul."

As it was about a year ago. Is now and ever shall be. Pool without end. Amen.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Forever Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Excuses, excuses...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You leave me no choice. I didn't want to take it to the next level, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I invoke the dark powers -- may the horrid visage of Morman Wife Lucinda Bushnell, 1825 - 1895 (Picture appears to be about 1897) forever haunt thee! Now... try playing blind!!!

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Is "patheti-sad" a word?

[nijis]

dalem --

I welcome your friendship about as much as the local mosque would welcome a gift-wrapped case of Wild Turkey, a year's subscription to Commentary, and the video edition of Babe. I would sooner pass the time with leprous evangelical meth freaks. However, I am in need of additional material for my doctoral research into despair, humiliation, and utter abject sense of helplessness in the face of inevitable defeat, and I haven't received a post from Croda recently. (JDRackupmorstinkin'deadfireflies, Mardepths, and MacStompie are being less than cooperative in this regard). So you will be receiving a set-up shortly.

PS: Apologies in advance to meth freaks who can sit still, evangelicals who can put together a coherant argument, and pretty much all categories of lepers.

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"I can't listen to music too often... It makes me want to say kind, stupid things, and pat the heads of people... But now you have to beat them on the head, beat them without mercy."

V. I. Lenin

[This message has been edited by nijis (edited 12-29-2000).]

[This message has been edited by nijis (edited 12-30-2000).]

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by nijis:

dalem --

I would sooner pass the time with leprous evangelical meth freaks<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's not leprous. At least that's what the Doc said. But is it supposed to glow like that?

[David Aitken]

Forever Babra wrote:

> You leave me no choice.

Now that really was scary. For the mental distress you have caused me, I shall now proceed to eliminate your forces man for man. Prepare for topplement!

[Joe Shaw]

Babra you fool! Don't you know the forces with which you're dealing? I'd hoped that it was clear from the posts of Senility and myself that photos of Mormon Wives are NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH! I fear it may already be too late, your untrained attempts may have already doomed you, the effects are far from subtle and may have already manifested themselves.

1. Vision - Have you been seeing lots of colored, twinkling lights in your vision recently ... say for the last month or so?

2. Hearing - Do you hear a persistent and rhythmic ringing sound whenever you enter a grocery store?

3. Behavior - Have you found that you have engaged in uncontrollable buying recently ... and worse yet buying for others?

4. Digestion - Have you, within the past two weeks, ever had an occassion where you felt uncomfortably full after a meal?

If you answer YES to these questions then you are already be in the later stages of Mormon Wife Poisoning! If so, there is no cure and you might as well shoot yourself now ... oh ... Happy New Year if you make it that far.

Joe

[David Aitken]

Fear not, Forever Barbie™ has been punished for his insolence. His other Sherman (the one I didn't obliterate five seconds into our game) has been taught that you can run, but you can't hide from Herr Hetzer. Looks like our game worked out the other way round, eh Andy? Next time shall I buy a conscript Hetzer and nothing else so your Shermans might have a chance of 'whacking' it? =P

PS. Oops, there where three Shermans... There might as well have been none, for all they managed to achieve... oh wait, I remember you shelled that house on my right flank... that caused a huge dip in morale among my ranks – all my men were so sad to see such a pretty house senselessly vandalised by the barbaric Englanders.

[This message has been edited by David Aitken (edited 12-29-2000).]

[GI Tom]

Oh jeez, thanks Babra, now I'm fecking blind. How the hell am I supposed to whip Berli after looking at that morbid, gawd awful thing?

Well, Berli has sent me his setup, and the puter picked the forces. 800 Pt Meeting. I won't even comment on what I got. Well, ok, I will.... I put the question to the pool..

Do you think I can win with:

2 Sharpshooters

1 Jeep

4 Roadbloacks

3 Daisy Chain Mines

1 Squad of Green Frenchmen

1 Full set of Marbles

2 Handful's of Pocket lint with a dash of belly button lint

And a Fecking Flamethrower with no Flame.

I'm thinkin' I got a shot.

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, Berli is an ass.

GI Tom

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To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of weird sandwich.

[Roborat]

Hey Speedy, I could only wish that I was drunk, between visiting in-laws, typical Alberta winters, and screwing up my CM in trying to keep up with the viciously permutating and mutating tcp/ip beta patch. And then on top of everything else, my wife having this strange idea that I should be spending Christmas with my family!!. I finally got on line tonight to find that I was seven pages behind in the pool thread, although half of these were (sir) hiram's rantings (I also quickly put a word in with Canada Customs, hopefully they can turn back a certain 'pooler, who apparently is trying to infiltrate my fair county, just because he is from here doesn't mean that we have to let him back in).

Overall, I think it would have been easier to tolerate the last week in an alcoholic stupor. Oh well, I think CM is working again. I will be saving our game in whatever is the latest version, and, assuming the crashes have been banished, send it your way.

[BFCElvis]

Berli,

It seems you set up a scenario for Hiram and I. He sent me the set up file and it is aasking for an Axis password. I don't know the password...did you set it up with one. I am not afraid of you posting it here because even if Hiram can see (and play) my files he will still lose.

------------------

What do we do with a terrible liar? Well, Great liars we send into the clergy.

Good liars we groom for politics. Moderate liars we supply with sherrif's badges

and guns, and the bad liars, well, we make them heroin whores. So what the hell

do we do with the Terrible Liars? Well, it seems we turn them into physicists

called "chrisl." Peng

[Mace]

*shadong* *shadong*

hear ye, hear ye

*shadong*

It is with great pleasure that I announce the topplement of SIR U.G.L.Y. by American combined arms, fought in a fog so heavy that artillery rounds were requested to land elsewhere due to inclement weather.

Little did Sir ABCD know that I was equipped with the best of the K9 corps, dogs that majored in seeing for the blind (damned handy in a heavy fog) and minored in sniffing out sauerkraut loaded Germans. They were also well versed in running up to the Germans and relieving themselves on the German's trousers, a distraction that resulted in Sir WXYZ's undoing.

Lorak:

Mace - Win

Sir OGPU - Loss

And thankyou Rune, for your evilness!

Mace

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>It seems you set up a scenario for Hiram and I. He sent me the set up file and it is aasking for an Axis password. I don't know the password...did you set it up with one. I am not afraid of you posting it here because even if Hiram can see (and play) my files he will still lose.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, I didn't, but since upgrading to b24 it has happened a couple of times. I'll create a new file and send it to you.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Forever Babra:

Morman Wife Lucinda Bushnell, 1825 - 1895

See delightful photo further up

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Errr...does she come fully equipped with a sheep costume?

Mace

[Hiram Sedai]

my feet are cold

perhaps I could warm them by kicking one of your butts in TCPIP??

(this also counts for Elvis who has two butts. One is specifically for conversation purposes.)

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Forever Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

my feet are cold

perhaps I could warm them by kicking one of your butts in TCPIP??

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm your huckleberry... meet me in Matt's Chat-o-love...