THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

I guess the rocky road to knighthood taught the lad something after all...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He asked me for advice, calling me 'The poor man's Fionn' - now I am glad I gave it to him freely. Carry on Hiram, there's a good lad.

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Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 12-27-2000).]

[jdmorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

[This message has been edited by Mark IV to more adequately reflect his profound sense of shameand bleeding incompetence to, in effect lose to an Eagles fan]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram

[Hiram Sedai]

Sir Lorak, let me first ackowledge your omnipotence, omniscience, and omniprescence. Thou art now and shall always be the keeper of the Cesspool Website. Thy wisdom is boundless but thy patience is finite. So I shall make my request quickly and remove my fetid carcass from thy glorious presence.

Please annotate on thy Hyper text markup language scroll a Draw for both myself and a Mr. IV. Mr. IV's first name is Mark, I beleive. I am certain that you already know his first name and the name of his blow-up doll. (Suzy Squeeze Me, I think)

I refuse to heap humuliation on the back of Mr. IV because of his draw to an intellectually inferior New Jersey Inhabitant. I also won't mention that a Titan of Combat Mission usually won't be caught dead conversing with a feeble minded sycophant let alone playing one in TCPIP. You cannot make me divulge that one of the forefathers of the Peng Thread stooped so low as to play a seemly helpless undeserving cessspool squater. Therefore, you didn't hear this from me.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bastables:

Now the little scot sod is 1 for 1 with me. He not only just beat me, He has in own putrid manner crushed me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah'll tak that as a surrender. Lorak widnae ye chalk that up ain the Cesspool as:

OGSF Win

Bastables Loss

And noo, Bustaboils af'n ye wanna be thrashed agin, send a setup mah way. I'll attack or defend, medium quality troops, up tae 1000 points.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

PS Hiram ye owe mae a turn, ye fetid weepin' nipple o' Nelson, tha bulldog bitch fraim Caledonia.

PPS Marked IV Ridicule....Ah beat Hiram 92-8 or thereaboots in our Joust....at night, in the fog, wi' conscripts. Did ye have conscripts then?

[This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 12-27-2000).]

[Speedy]

Bastables, if you are going to have a rematch with OGSF, I suggest you select French units. Baffling though it may seem the Scottish git wannabe appears to be quite adept at being slaughtered by French units.

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Work is the curse of the drinking class.

I have nothing else to say. Ya, quote that you rat bastards.

-Meeks

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Bastables, if you are going to have a rematch with OGSF, I suggest you select French units. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aye, an' mak sure ye have night visibility, and rain, and roads that run straight tae the victory location....sae ye can ambush mah brave laddies wi' yer stankin' bazookas and M8 Greyhound devil cars as they cam strugglin' through tha mud and gloom intae yer sights....

Feh!

An' that's SirOGSF tae yoo, laddie.

[bauhaus]

Ahhhh, time for the retort. I actually have nothing clever to say .......imagine that. It is true, after being out of town for the last few days, it was either check email or play PS2. What was I thinking? I chose to play SSX snowboarding (a fine game if I do say). And I also chose bonding with my 10 year-old son....ahhhhh, isn't that nice. So I apologize for nothing. I fart in Berli's general direction and stand guilty as charged. Sentence me to work with Berli, that would be a punishment worse than death. Actually, it would be like working with Death himself.

Germanboy, as for my arty tactics. I may have stolen a word or two from you, but I really stole the entire chapter on using 210's from Berli. I like the big boom, makes a bigger hole in the ground.

[Lorak]

lets see...scribe duties first.

OGSF-win

bastables-loss

Shandorf-win

Seanachai-loss

Mark IV-draw

Hiram-draw

Now for you unenlighted toads, more verse from the Lorak.

The serpent's curse upon you lies-ye writhe withen the dust,

Ye fill your mouths with beggers' swill, ye grovel for a crust;

Your lords have set thier blood-stained heels upon your shamful heads,

Yet they are kind-they leave you still thier ditches for your beds!

Now are you men, or are you kine, ye dwellers of the pool?

Would you be free, or evermore roll in puetrid soil?

The shadow on the dial hangs that points the fatal hour,

Now hold your own! or useless gits, for ever cringe and cower.

I am the Lorak who teaches all- the seignior and the serf-

I have risen up this day, defending the pool, the place of my re-birth;

Now follow me and plant your feet, where now you crawl as slaves,

And make this pool a better place, or make of it your grave !

Lorak the loathed

[This message has been edited by Lorak (edited 12-27-2000).]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>...And make this pool a better place, or make of it your grave !<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Whoa, dude, I mean like ... chill man, ya know. You're like, bringing the whole place DOWN man, my buzz is gone, and I mean, hey man even Blousehouse is sobbing, so like, get a grip or something ya know?

Joe

[Chupacabra]

Howdy, vermin.

Maw and Paw Cabra are in town for the week, so I'm trotting the folks around. The old bums are wearing me out - it's amazing how much energy they have, and how little I have. A lot could be attributed to the amount of alcohol I drank for Sweet Baby Jebus. Fear the four day hangover.

I like the FAQ thread. Mostly because it gives me the chance to tell people to go FAQ themselves and such hilarity. Hee hee.

Hiram. It's nice to see you've finally grown a pair. Did Santa give them to you for Christmas? Shame about Audrey, but think of it this way. She made a lovely Christmas dinner for some poor, unfortunate homeless person. Tender. Mmm. Pity she didn't scratch you more, but them's the breaks. I'll have to ram the proverbial Zulu PBEM javelin through your hairless girl-boy jowls one of these days.

Shabandadoodalananorf. Tell you what. You take my parents shopping while I send you your bloody precious turns. I will get to you when I am freakin' good and ready, comprende Paco? Whatdya mean no speaka de Ingles WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING IN MY COUNTRY BOY I OUGHTA KICK YER WETBACK GREASER HALAPEENO-EATING ASS BACK TO TIJU... Err, what? Sorry, flashback to my days as a Border Guard. Ta.

Berli. No fire for you. I'm gonna run you over like I run over boxfulls of adorable newborn Collie pups, boyo.

Scrota. Um, yeah. What the hell's happening in our game again? Oh, right, the 8th AF is strafing your sorry Hetzer ass back to Berlin.

Machu Piccu. The remainder of your armored force rests in the shining bosom of Allah. Whereas my Stuart gunner will spend eternity receiving mind-blowing oral sex from the ghost of Betty Grable.

I hope you all run into a bunch of raving '2001 is the Real Millenium' freaks and get painfully nagged to death. I am very tired and I hate you. Yes, you.

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Soy super bien soy super super bien soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super

[Guest Pillar]

Steps are heard outside the depths of the dark room from where you sit.

"An Outsider!" Hiram squeels! Quickly, he gets up to listen at the old wooden door. The door is wet and spongy, as wood gets when left in the rain for days. It smells like something of an old outhouse down here, and it's dark.

The steps grow louder and louder, as the mysterious outsider nears the bottom of the rocky stairway leading to the door.

Eyes wide, the members of the cesspool slowly watch as the lock is turned and the door is slowly pressed open.

Hiram takes a few steps back. "Who is it?" cries Seanachai nervously, "Not the moderators coming to force us out of our home again is it?!"...

Hiram sighs, "Thank god, it's just Pillar"

What is this place?

[Lorak]

Bah! You are all fools and idiots ! Do you not realize that a constant war has and will always be declaired against our Lady the pool !

Already the curse is upon our pool,

and stangers her waters profane;

They come to divide- to dishonor,

and these trolls they long will remain.

But onward! - the pool banner rearing,

Go fleash every sword to the hilt;

On our side is Virtue and Might,

on theirs is grogs and guilt.

Lorak the loathed

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pillar:

Steps are heard outside the depths of the dark room from where you sit.

"An Outsider!" Hiram squeels! Quickly, he gets up to listen at the old wooden door. The door is wet and spongy, as wood gets when left in the rain for days. It smells like something of an old outhouse down here, and it's dark.

The steps grow louder and louder, as the mysterious outsider nears the bottom of the rocky stairway leading to the door.

Eyes wide, the members of the cesspool slowly watch as the lock is turned and the door is slowly pressed open.

Hiram takes a few steps back. "Who is it?" cries Seanachai nervously, "Not the moderators coming to force us out of our home again is it?!"...

Hiram sighs, "Thank god, it's just Pillar"

What is this place?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh please. I've found something more interesting at the receiving end of some toilet tissue. You rubbed the lamp. You invoked my name. What do you want?

Here is a candy cane. Now go away.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

[Forever Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pillar:

"Thank god, it's just Pillar"

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, Lorak, bard of the pool, most loathed, keeper of the Tome of Topplements, since this rat-faced excuse for a grog has dared to enter, you may sharpen thine quill and note:

Pillar - Win

Babra - Loss

Sickening I know. May he die much.

[Guest Pillar]

I see I've been initiated already, boy was that ever fast.

[Guest Pillar]

Oh, and by the way Babra, if that is your real name BABS, I did indeed kick your sorry excuse for a behind in what will soon be your public shame!

[Lorak]

Babra,

As much as I would like to add your topplement to the peng tomb. I am afraid I can not. You see games are only posted among those who actualy dwell in the pool.

Pillar coming in here and trying to dazzle us with his ear wax collection does not make him a dweller. How can we possible even view him as possible pool material? There is nothing vile in his post. He has made no rude comments on playing style, heritage, or any other trait. He has in fact shown himself on the board proper as having grog like tendencies.

Nay, Pillar may in time decide to carve out a little wading area in the pool... But until he can taunt and sound off like he has a pair... I am afraid there is nothing I can do.

Lorak the loathed

[Stuka]

Persecute the newcomer 'Pillock'! Stone him and cast his battered corpse from the walls of Castle 'Anthrax'!

[Guest Pillar]

Isn't just completely beating you all senseless through PBEM good enough?

I'm afraid my actions will have to speak louder than words, until I get some grub on you all, then look out.

[Lorak]

by pillar:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Isn't just completely beating you all senseless through PBEM good enough? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

NO.

Now become vile,ridicule,loath and taunt us.

Lest we be force to toss your dead blotted carcus in a ditch and amuse ourselves by placing bets on the wild dogs and vultures tugging your limbs and gnawing your face.

Lorak the loathed

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Persecute the newcomer 'Pillock'! Stone him and cast his battered corpse from the walls of Castle 'Anthrax'!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Never mind all that, ye porridge brained shirt lice, send mae a bloody turn sae Ah kin continue tae rain misery an' destruction upon ye.....

Oh, an' Pillock, ye cam ain here lak some nancy boy in velvet hot pants wi' ye mysterious footstaips an' creakin' door handles.....af'n Ah found ye in mah personal garments Ah'd tak them off, turn thaim inside oot and lay them in the sun till ye dried oop. Ah'd thain scrape ye off wi' mah trusty sharpened thigh bone fraim the last grognardic flatulation tae wander in here, an' feed ye tae mah scrawny cat. Ah'd then beat mah cat wi' a stick until it threw oop intae an envelope which Ah'd then mail tae ye kin fer Christmas.

Sae sod off.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

[Guest Pillar]

I would, but I don't speak your Pseudo Old English.

You all may try so desperately to fulfill your pathetic little anachronic ego's through these laughable little taunts, but until you can fill those shoes with some solid PBEM performance, you'll never be anything more than the low-life cesspool dwellers that you are.

[Mace]

The green monster has reared it's ugly head once again!

Those wannabes that hope beyond hope that they will one day become one of the lads (or lasses...although the lasses haven't been in as of late to add that feminine touch).

Poor things, look at them fogging the windows as they peer in, you can actually see the longing for some form of recognition in their large, teary eyes!

Time for some pitty...Seanachai, be a good chap and pull down the blinds so we don't have to look at them any more.

Mace

[Guest Pillar]

Are you all talk Mace, or are you going to let me plaster your ass in a PBEM?

[Stuka]

Make him scrub the drawbridge!

At least then we can keep an eye on him until the council decrees that he be allowed in, and then only to clean the butts of the peasents.

Then one day, {insert various deity} willing, if he applies himself and grovels well, a promotion may be forthing!

Oh ho ho! Pillock you lucky boy! Now you can squeeze the boils on the Squires back's!

As for knighthood, "SLAP!", don't even think about it.

So you see young Pillaroo, you have all this almost within arms' reach.

Chin up, little fella, wipe away those tears and start scrubbing......

(Unless of course some dirty great Kniggett happens by and decides that your pelvis would make a nifty drinks holder for the castle dachshund, Colin.)

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Torture you? That...That's a good idea.