Seanachai Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 This weekend, I went North. Well, this weekend and a bit of the week. I kayaked Lake Itasca, the headwaters of the Mississippi. Only about 5 miles of it. The North Arm and part of the West Arm; the weather wasn't in full cooperation. And I had my picture taken, standing with my pants rolled up in the 'Headwaters' of the Mississippi River. It's not, of course. It's the bit where the WPA built a dam, channelized a stream, and cleared the banks a bit so that people could 'walk across the Mississippi'. The real outlet from Lake Itasca is through the swamp to the West. Although now, both have an equal place in the Consciousness of the People. And History. I have completed the Circle of 40 years length. I returned to that place, stood once again in that same silly stream, amidst a wash of tourists and their children, all of them angling for photos of their family members doing something in that little outpouring stream that they regarded as the very first beginning of the Mighty Mississippi. And... I felt happy. I rolled up my bloody pant-cuffs and waded out there with dumb-assed tourists from Indiana and Oklahoma. I was splashed by their children. I had my picture taken. I marveled at the fact that I stood anywhere near a force that could destroy an entire city. I waded down the stream, a bit, to get the full effect. I am the Seanachai. I have been bathed anew in the Waters. My words come from sources that the most of you cannot even begin to conceive of, because you are but little scurrying creatures, appearing here and posting on your way towards death. Also, I bought a cribbage board in the Gift Shop at the Visitor Center at the Headwaters. Couldn't find a travel one. It cost me $24. Hell of a lot for a cribbage board. Not that much for a cribbage board that came from Itasca State Park. The Circle is complete. Don't really like the cribbage board. Laid out funny. Probably send it to Boo. Does Boo play cribbage? Anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 That's also a very attractive young woman. I wonder if she can cook? I imagine so. If not, she offers a wonderful opportunity to burn some calories. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Has Peng been sober, lately, and here? If he has (been sober, that is), it must have changed his personality, and not for the better. I recall him posting somewhere or other a while back that he had sworn off, gone on the wagon, taken a vow of chastity, poverty and obedience or some such. That can't have improved his disposition any. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 I imagine so. If not, she offers a wonderful opportunity to burn some calories. Michael Opportunity? Bah! You're too old to do more than watch, and I'm too old to do anything but accuse you of being too old. We're too old. You're too old to still be alive, you ancient bastard. And I'm too old to do much more than accuse you of being as old as you are. But I can still paddle. And cook fish. Filet the bastards out, too. Have you ever even caught a walleye, Emrys, you bugger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 I imagine so. If not, she offers a wonderful opportunity to burn some calories. [Counting the calorie on one hoof...] Contemplating an Emrys does consume something... oh, there burns another one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Why paddle when you can jet-ski? OOH-RAH!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Ahem. 'Beer', 'girls', kayaks. Only unrepentant feck-sticks are into 'fast cars'. And most 'girls' have figured out that guys into fast cars climax as quickly as their over-powered automotive 'I'm sorry, usually it doesn't even take me that long to cross the finish line, honey; I'd make it up to you, but you're just kleenex to me' pieces of ****e. And as for the 'beer', part, well, of course, the gods have given us an entire cornucopia of spirits with which to toll out our evening song of joy to them. And as for girls...well, I've had girls. I prefer women, because at least afterwards, you can talk. And, quite often, cook a good meal. I mean, there's only something like 100 ways to do it, short of starting to repeat yourself in ever stranger locations, and adding in increasingly disturbing sock-puppets, but the experience of food is almost infinite. Costard, you're under 40, aren't you? It shows in the sloppy way you address the human condition. Good pick, oh Gnome. Old enough to have a genuine appreciation for the beauty of youth, young enough to believe that the appreciation could be honestly reciprocal. Old enough to know that fast cars require more engine rebuilds than I have time for. Young enough to prate about the fixability of the world, if only it weren't populated by such a bunch of unspeakable, inedible morons, old enough to suspect that it ain't broke, that the problem lies with myself and my lack of ability. Old enough to see that time is a curve - heh, perhaps some sort of e^x - young enough to have no real idea of how fast that left remaining to me will disappear. Like you would care, but I married for cooking ability. At best, I'm a fool of a fraud, at worst, sincere in my voiced observations, but unwilling to take responsibility for them. But enough about me - Elvis has it right, and that charming threesome of piscine delights is only further proof. Onanists to a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 And apparently your brain is on summer hiatus. I have seldom seen a more 'fancy-nancy' reply to a Cesspool post that just lay there on the surface, flopping, demanding a head-shot. Do I need to get me a more cut-throat lurching henchman? In the business, it's called a "set-up" line. It's thrown out by the straight man to "set up" the joke. Leave it to you to completely blow that opportunity. I came in this morning to see the MBT had jumped a page and a half forward overnight. I immediately knew Seanachai had staggered in, dropped his pants around his ankles and droned on and on about kayaking. Ye Gods, is there any man in America more in need of the soft touch of a woman, even if he wouldn't know what to do about it? And who peed in your Fruit Loops, eh? I don't believe Hiram is of House Morse. After all, we have standards. They may be low, but they're not completely abysmal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Quite. Doesn't she have a couple of nice ones there? Michael There's something not quite right about that picture... I know ! The horizon isn't level. They must be fakes... !! Damn that Photoshop. Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Seanachai, you tit, %^(1P) - Those are largemouth bass, not walleyes. And you call yourself a Minnesotan, oh the shame, the shame. Please report to the nearest Minnesota DNR station for a lengthy re-education on which is the State Fish, and a heavy application of leeches, just for fun. Secundus – It's my B-Day. Bring something better than your usual swill. How about a nice sipping rum? If you're even thinking about mixing it with Coke, you've gotten the wrong bottle, so put it back and look at the higher shelves. Yes, yes, you'll have to stand on your tippy toes, but make the effort laddy, it'll be worth it. I'd suggest a bottle of Oronoco, but I suppose you'll go for the Pusser's, just for the chance to mention sodomy later in the evening. Or, if you wish to go a different direction, a bottle of Blandy's 5 Year Old Rich Alvada Madeira. Mmm…Madeira… Number The Last – I play cribbage, but only as a blood sport, as the Norse Gods intended it should be played. Bring the cards and prepare to be skunked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Seanachai, you tit, %^(1P) - Those are largemouth bass, not walleyes. And you call yourself a Minnesotan, oh the shame, the shame. Please report to the nearest Minnesota DNR station for a lengthy re-education on which is the State Fish, and a heavy application of leeches, just for fun. Secundus – It's my B-Day. Bring something better than your usual swill. How about a nice sipping rum? If you're even thinking about mixing it with Coke, you've gotten the wrong bottle, so put it back and look at the higher shelves. Yes, yes, you'll have to stand on your tippy toes, but make the effort laddy, it'll be worth it. I'd suggest a bottle of Oronoco, but I suppose you'll go for the Pusser's, just for the chance to mention sodomy later in the evening. Or, if you wish to go a different direction, a bottle of Blandy's 5 Year Old Rich Alvada Madeira. Mmm…Madeira… Number The Last – I play cribbage, but only as a blood sport, as the Norse Gods intended it should be played. Bring the cards and prepare to be skunked. Let me see if I got this right ... it's your birthday (best happy returns yada, yada, yada) and your birthday present is ... to be with Seanachai? Hell lad, I'm surprised the Chinese haven't adopted that as a punishment for treason. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Bring the skunk. With you lot in the same room, that's the air freshener, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 'Skunk' is ghetto-speak for hydroponic pot you stoopid ex-henchman....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 You don't wanna know how I know that...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 You don't wanna know how I know that...... I wish I'd never found out you exist. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stikkypixie Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 It's because your bait is small, limp, and just lies there. The next time you give me an opening like that, I will kick you repeatedly until you die. Idjit. Christ. But it was a fresh worm!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 'Skunk' is ghetto-speak for hydroponic pot you stoopid ex-henchman....... It doesn't have to be hydroponically grown, Desert Dunderhead. Any kind of bad pot can be referred to as "skunk weed". And how do you know he was speaking slang? Are you tuned in to Lars' thought processes? Such as they are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 May I suggest Lemon Hart, 151 proof? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 No, you may not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
costard Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Then I'll just recommend it. Definitely a sipping rum- and you can't get it in Oz no more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Probably your government's attempt to protect you from yourselves. And I can't think of a people that needed it more. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Probably your government's attempt to protect you from yourselves. And I can't think of a people that needed it more. Think of it this way, I'm one of the people doing the protecting. Membership does has it's benefits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Point being, that all government agencies, regardless of the country tend to attract the lowest form of human flotsam and jetsam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 Think of it this way, I'm one of the people doing the protecting. "And there came out of that land, a huge diaspora as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, mother's brothers, sister's uncles, the servants of mother's brother's sisters... goats, cattle, sheep, various ungulants, zebras, turtles, egrets, antelopes, wallabies, telephone solicitors, harmonica duets, and all manner of beasts left in search of a more hospitable territory, for Lo, the hand writing on the wall said, 'Mene, mene tekel, this place is in the crapper, and that's for sure!' and seeing it, the people grew sad... or soybeans, depending upon the market..." From Shlomo's Second Letter to the Absinthians as to Why They hadn't Answered the First Letter Concerning Oddstralia Becoming a Vast Waste Land Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 May I suggest Lemon Hart, 151 proof? May I suggest Jack Iron 198? rookie... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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