stikkypixie Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Heh, I've been slogging the good fight at the Onion wars. You apparently went AWOL after perceiving the inevitable outcome; where the glorious People's Army of the Salmon Republics lifted the heavy, iron-shod jackboot of Emerald oppression from the necks of the of the workers of Fea Cebola and replaced it with the liberating jackboot of a worker's utopia! ...and drawing the Salmon Army Nurse Calendar, of course. Do they make those of stenographers as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Heh, I've been slogging the good fight at the Onion wars. You apparently went AWOL after perceiving the inevitable outcome; where the glorious People's Army of the Salmon Republics lifted the heavy, iron-shod jackboot of Emerald oppression from the necks of the of the workers of Fea Cebola and replaced it with the liberating jackboot of a worker's utopia! ...and drawing the Salmon Army Nurse Calendar, of course. They kept assigning me these hopeless sectors of the front, where my forces were mere speedbumps in the face of overwhelming Salmon forces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 It's hard to believe that KSU could actually graduate someone from the art dept. who actually has a shread of talent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 It's hard to believe that KSU could actually graduate someone from the art dept. who actually has a shread of talent.Oh I don't know ... I think that a Polish Punk rock band might be the ONLY thing he could graduate from ... I'm not sure why they'd need an art dept but then I've never understood punk either. http://www.last.fm/music/KSU Joe p.s. All turns are out ... ball's in your court ... get off my case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Oh I don't know ... I think that a Polish Punk rock band might be the ONLY thing he could graduate from ... I'm not sure why they'd need an art dept but then I've never understood punk either. http://www.last.fm/music/KSU Oh I find the truth to be a little more seedy than a simple rock band. Step aside there little Joey *slap* Some Stukan sleuthing has revealed in actuality the case for the State of Cess V Lurker (spelt but not bolded).........KSU is............Kommunistischer Studentenverband (Communist Student Union) Better dead than red! Where is McCarthy when we need him? Persecute the heretic! Bring on the stenographers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfp MkII Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 [drivel]jdslkjaspoiurjoaflkjOI[/drivel] Joe p.s. All turns are out ... ball's in your court ... get off my case. Think you had one too many sasparillas partner...that or another attack of the 'OLDS'. No turn here...just blocking and disrupting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 W00T! Just got told I'm off on another junket....er.... 'Company sponsored business trip' to Cyprus next week! With a free day either side in Istanbul. Who wants a present brought back? Put your hand down Emrys, I wasn't looking at you..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Oh I find the truth to be a little more seedy than a simple rock band. Step aside there little Joey *slap* Some Stukan sleuthing has revealed in actuality the case for the State of Cess V Lurker (spelt but not bolded).........KSU is............Kommunistischer Studentenverband (Communist Student Union) Better dead than red! Where is McCarthy when we need him? Persecute the heretic! Bring on the stenographers! Fess up. You two actually work at being obtuse, don't you? You both do it far too well to be mere tyros. Around here, KSU means only one thing; Kent State University, home of the Golden Show...er... Flashes. That's right... Golden Flashes. And we won't even bring up Dix Stadium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 W00T! Just got told I'm off on another junket....er.... 'Company sponsored business trip' to Cyprus next week! With a free day either side in Istanbul. Who wants a present brought back? Some fine hash and a prison staff signed copy of Midnight Express please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I expect it'll read "Dear Lars come back soon, we all miss you, love Ahmed and the boyz" The hash I might have to confiscate for......research. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I expect it'll read "Dear Lars come back soon, we all miss you, love Ahmed and the boyz" The hash I might have to confiscate for......research. Research on what? Colitis? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 ...{snipped}... Around here, KSU means only one thing; Kent State University, home of the Golden Show...er... Flashes. That's right... Golden Flashes. And we won't even bring up Dix Stadium.Here's a news flash for you there Sparky ... around here only applies if you happen to be, you know, around HERE, or in my case around THERE since your here is my there. Furtherless I'm confident that no one else around HERE, by which I mean the MBT which actually transcends heres and theres, gives a fig newton for what folks THERE, by which I mean your here and not our here, have as a reference for KFC or whatever the hell it is you're talking about. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Nah, he'd been too old for the legion. I think Emrys' real first name is Cain. In fact, here is a photograph of him shortly after that incident: The surprising thing is, he doesn't look a century older now than in that picture! Sergei, this might be a good time to reiterate our policy regarding 'Old Testament' homoerotica. Simply stated, lad: What you do with the Bible in one hand and Google in the other is between you and whatever you conceive to be the Entity that will gather your vile, damned and corrupted soul into the appropriate level of Hell, but please don't post your last trip in the Psycho-Sexual-Historical 'Way Back Machine' here. It slows down the browsers, while taking us to a place in your head that requires enough hand-washing to degrade skin-tone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Seanachai, game night, my place, Saturday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Oh come now, let's be serious here for a moment. Clearly this IS the CessPool and there is an obligation on all to belittle but obviously no one here can SERIOUSLY claim that I'm not beloved. Oh sure, you may SAY you don't but everyone knows the truth. Furthermore, in a strict constructionist sense, I am surely beloved ... by my Grandchildren if no one else. Joe I have regarded you with unrivaled camaraderie since the very earliest days when you posted here. In you, Joe, I saw everything that was wrong, horrible, bad and nasty about the World, and realized that it could be channeled, focused and turned into a power for Good. In short, Joe, I saw that if one used a vile individual like a scalpel, you could geld Evil and, through the judicious use of pomposity and bureaucracy, turn it into a force for 'Good'. Mind you, the entire process is fecking tedious as hell, and the ultimate 'Good' that is achieved tastes like a fish milkshake, but it can be done. Rather regret the whole damn thing, now, frankly. But I still remember, with unutterable fondness, the day when you first showed up here, as righteous, thick and, for someone reason, as covered with treacle as two short thick planks laid atop each other, shouting 'I STAND FOR THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD!' If I was to be totally truthful, I fully intended that time you showed up at my place to kill you and bury your body down in the Arboretum at Carleton College in Northfield. But then you dumped out my silverware drawer, and I ended up getting drunk, and we started singing old Steely Dan songs together, and by the time you were ready to leave, I realized that I'd never convince you to get into a car with me and the bag of surgical saws and knives I'd put together when I first got your email telling me that you'd be in Minneapolis for a visit. So you went back to your hotel, and I went off and slept on the bathroom rug, with visions of dismemberment dancing in my head, and a deep, deep sadness, never to be spoken, that meant there wasn't going to be a Justicar fertilized section of South-central Minnesota that season. When are you going to visit us again, Joe? I think you should come see us in May. Easy digging in May. The season of new growth. The Season of Fertility. Nature, fecund and vibrant, caring not with what She's fertilized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Seanachai, game night, my place, Saturday. I can do it. Convince the other two halfwits. Papa Khann's in love, but his Sweetheart was in town this weekend, so he'll just be sitting around moping about the fact that she's returned to the Lotus Eater Land this weekend, so he should be able to make it. See what Dalem's doing. Email works with him, for the most part. Call Papa on his cell. Son of a bitch is totally useless, when it comes to email. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Greetings o dark knights of the soul. Like the buzzards of Hinckley, I have returned to once again feast on the bloated corpses of your intellect. What did I miss? I had stumbled on Seanachi's Christmas greeting on the Dosomefink forum and was overwhelmed with a deep and abiding affection for that drunken pustule on the buttocks of humanity. That of course, reminded me of the rest of the buttocks, and so I thought I'd stop by and see what ****e was spewing from your collective holes. One minute here and that affection dried up right quick. The thought occurred to me that we really haven't done enough to honor the old gnome, who has given so much of himself, in spite of all protestations to cease and desist. But how do you honor a sodden and bitter misanthrope like the bard of the MBT? How about a wake? What better way of giving homage to Seanachi than to wish him dead and then allow the masses to line up to verbally abuse him, his life, his legacy, and perhaps relieve oneself into the open casket? After putting the boot in, we can gather at a bar and drink and eat, laugh and cry and play loud celtic music to drown out his shrieks, pounding on the casket lid, and the fading, sobbing gasps for air. Needs to be it's own thread. For posterity and the children's sake, dontchaknow. I am Seanachai, and I approve this message... Wake me, you Howler Monkeys of Doom! It's Fat Tuesday! Let the process begin! During Lent, let abuse of me be your daily bread, your bitter greens, your meatless Fridays! And, weeks from now, when the groundhogs roll away the rock from the mouth of my cave-- Seanachai, eléison! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I just vgorged on pancakes until I just about puked! That and all the Beck's Iam drinking I suppose... God bless god and all who sail in her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cabal23 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Are these encoded Al Queda messages? They seem so random, yet they have an underlying meaning if you read between the cracks and bold print. Hmm perhaps I should inform my federal law enforcement official about the possible break in the code. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 Son of a bitch is totally useless, when it comes to email. Quite like yourself in that regard. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Are these encoded Al Queda messages? They seem so random, yet they have an underlying meaning if you read between the cracks and bold print. Hmm perhaps I should inform my federal law enforcement official about the possible break in the code. I dunno. Is that spongy waste matter trickling down your face your brain? As for your local law enforcement, you go right ahead, lad. You tell them that you've found a whole nest of spies, and terrorists, and really bad guys, eh?! Now, you've made the 'maybe it's coded messages from Al-Queda' joke. How droll. It's important for a boy your age to be healthy. So, turn your head and cough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Here's a news flash for you there Sparky ... around here only applies if you happen to be, you know, around HERE, or in my case around THERE since your here is my there. Furtherless I'm confident that no one else around HERE, by which I mean the MBT which actually transcends heres and theres, gives a fig newton for what folks THERE, by which I mean your here and not our here, have as a reference for KFC or whatever the hell it is you're talking about. Joe Dear Mr. Buttinski, I was TALKING TO STUKA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 See what Dalem's doing. But don't look directly at him or you may go blind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 Joe reserves the right to mouth off on any subject whatsoever. Not knowing a damn thing of which he speaks simply allows greater freedom to his deranged imagination to be "creative". Best to keep a frozen mackerel handy to pummel him into silence. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Quite like yourself in that regard. Michael I'm not really bad, Michael. In fact, I'm fecking horrible. Now, I could stumble around, trying to explain the fact that for the last year I've been deeply involved with issues, that I've been confused about life, that I've been a less than good correspondent because things have happened, but that wouldn't really be the answer, would it? No, the truth is, I'm a miserable bastard. When I fail in my duty as a correspondent, I just hunker down with a bottle and hope that you bastards will die while I'm singing off-key in the bathroom. I figured you'd be first. But you hang on, and on, apparently goddamn indestructible, so I've given up waiting for you to die, although I have great hopes about most of the rest of them. I figure Stuka's going to kack within 18 months. He's married now, and previously the need to disseminate his seed as widely (and uselessly) as possible was the only thing keeping him alive. Mace keeps me guessing. Every time I think he's dead, he shows up with a post. For me? Emrys, my downy little sheep, I'm in pain. If you outlive me, I will be SO fecking pissed off... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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