Since I'm not Peng, How can I be Challenged?

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by PondScum:

Toboggan-boy, you were going to be in luck today. In fact, as I said to Yeknod just this morning, in between putting the boot in:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />That reminds me, it's probably time to send Sludge-boy a turn, it being a new month and all.

This spirit of generosity was helped by the fact that my rout of Noba is in its final 60 seconds of pain, and that Berli will shortly accept my offer of a ceasefire if he knows what's good for him. I was therefore going to be able to put some serious thought (viz, more than "pointy-pointy clicky-clicky oooh-shiny-Go-button") into that all-important question of "rush Sledge's guns or just enjoy the madness in the woods".

But if you're going to get all picky about it...</font>

[Sledge59]

Lord Shiva isn't dead, he's simply resting. Don't you mislead these nice folks, MsDonkey.

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Sledge59:

Lord Shiva isn't dead, he's simply resting. Don't you mislead these nice folks, MsDonkey.

Lord Shiva got a slap on the konk by a wee little mortal 251/9 and backed its butt into some pines to shiver and sob.

I shall name me halftrack... God-slayer.

Yeknod

[Battlefront.com]

After careful consultations with my lawyers, friends, and family (in that order) I have decided against their STRONGLY voiced advice and to post to this place one more time. The reason will be obvious after reading my response to what Goanna wrote:

I like to use his full name so that it inspires wonder and amazement in the SSN who wonder in and think that since I know his full name and have a member number in god-like range, that we are old buds, despite the fact that Mr. Steve Garammond couldn't tell me from a gecko.

If you expect to pull this off, you should perhaps spell my name correctly:

Steve Grammont

Other than that, I think you could likely confuse people into believing that I actually spoke to you upon occasion (once again, against the advice of others!).

Steve

P.S. Elvis, no... the game is not done. I just needed a break from German TO&E work. Nothing better for that than some mindless postings on the 'ol BBS. But now, I see that I must get on with it. Reading this thread has reminded me why I shouldn't pay attention to this BBS even IF I have all the time in the world

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Big Time Software:

After careful consultations with my lawyers, friends, and family (in that order) I have decided against their STRONGLY voiced advice and to post to this place one more time. The reason will be obvious after reading my response to what Goanna wrote:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />I like to use his full name so that it inspires wonder and amazement in the SSN who wonder in and think that since I know his full name and have a member number in god-like range, that we are old buds, despite the fact that Mr. Steve Garammond couldn't tell me from a gecko.

If you expect to pull this off, you should perhaps spell my name correctly:

Steve Grammont

Other than that, I think you could likely confuse people into believing that I actually spoke to you upon occasion (once again, against the advice of others!).

Steve

P.S. Elvis, no... the game is not done. I just needed a break from German TO&E work. Nothing better for that than some mindless postings on the 'ol BBS. But now, I see that I must get on with it. Reading this thread has reminded me why I shouldn't pay attention to this BBS even IF I have all the time in the world </font>

[Diceman]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Oh, erm Dark Lady? Erm, a matter of delicacy. Yer see, I have a letter, a secret letter from... erm... well, er somewhere near an airforce base suggesting.... [/QB]

Ohh you must be talking about this fellow here:

You forgot Salmon Slayer and UberSergeant. At first I didn't know who or what you were talking about. In regards to what you're alluding to: it was a private conversation, and as such has no place on this or any other public forum without my permission. Have you gone daft? Has your obsession with getting digs in on my Sire Joe Shaw driven you over the edge? Could you imagine the ugliness that could fall upon the MBT should posting e-mail conversations with intent too stir up trouble be considered acceptable behavior? This forum lost the wisdom and insight of one Fionn Kelly in part because of e-mail message abuse, and I'll have no part of it, and will not discuss this subject further.

OGSF , either your dairy cow has stopped giving milk because your Jack Ass keeps molesting it, or Yeknodathon is your squire. (Note the correct spelling) Hard to tell with that accent of yours. I can barely understand a word you say. If he is indeed your squire, please rein him in.

In all candor Yeknodathon and I have already discussed this, and he proved himself to be a true gentleman.

There. If that last remark doesn't put a dent in his reputation nothing will!

[Lawyer]

ANOTHER MOMENT IN U.S. HISTORY...

Tomorrow, our very own Joe Shaw, aka Justicar, Blind Lemon Joe, Mr. Tinkles, Joe Blow, etc. packs up his bag and heads out on the road for HIS NEW JOB.

By actually landing a job, Joe has proven Abe Lincoln's wisdom by indeed fooling some of the people all of the time. His professional goal is to fool ALL of the people ALL of the time. We know he'll do well.

The really good news is that Joe Shaw's new employer has wisely assigned him to travel 500 days per year, so that he will be neither seen nor heard at the headquarters. Even better is that Joe will be traveling exclusively within that vast wasteland lying between the two coasts. Yes, the Vertiable Heartland, home to the buffalo and Panzer Leader.

Joe went shopping at Wal-Mart to put together the perfect wardrobe for his new career. Mustard-color sportcoats and double-knit slacks can't be found just anywhere.

Like his family, who just want the paychecks to arrive regularly in the mail, we will all hope to see and hear less from Joe. Sure, he threatens to log in from airports and get a laptop, but we all know he is a nob who can't find his lapbottom with both hands, much less his laptop. I think our moment of freedom from the Tyranny of the Justicariate has arrived at last.

So then, Gentle Jackals, let's all send Justicar off with a hearty sing-a-long to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home":

When Joey goes flying off to work, Hooray, Hooray;

We'll give him the boot in the obvious place, Hooray, Hooray;

The Kniggets will laugh, and the Pillocks will shout;

The gas will go down when the pilot goes out:

And we'll all breathe air when Joey goes flying off

JoeBob, here's hoping that you run into some SSN that you recently abused doing security checks at Salt Lake airport on your very first trip. The thorough strip search will be invigorating. Don't forget to wash your behind and wear clean undies.

[ March 03, 2002, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[Speedy]

Lawyer you need more flying practice.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Lawyer:

ANOTHER MOMENT IN U.S. HISTORY...

Tomorrow, our very own Joe Shaw, aka Justicar, Blind Lemon Joe, Mr. Tinkles, Joe Blow, etc. packs up his bag and heads out on the road for HIS NEW JOB.

And not a moment too soon either. I'm quite certain that I'll be able to break my CessPool addiction and since it's not the sort of thing that shows up in a drug screen ... THEY'LL NEVER KNOW!

By actually landing a job, Joe has proven Abe Lincoln's wisdom by indeed fooling some of the people all of the time. His professional goal is to fool ALL of the people ALL of the time. We know he'll do well.

And, get this, they're going to PAY ME! What are the odds of THAT happening!

The really good news is that Joe Shaw's new employer has wisely assigned him to travel 500 days per year, so that he will be neither seen nor heard at the headquarters. Even better is that Joe will be traveling exclusively within that vast wasteland lying between the two coasts. Yes, the Vertiable Heartland, home to the buffalo and Panzer Leader.

Actually I'll be in Denver March 4th through 6th, Dallas March 11th- 13th and Kansas City March 25th - 27th. If any of you are in these respective hell-holes and would like to get a photo with the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread ... you'll have to find out where I'm staying ... best of luck.

Joe went shopping at Wal-Mart to put together the perfect wardrobe for his new career. Mustard-color sportcoats and double-knit slacks can't be found just anywhere.

Did you realize that they don't make leisure suits anymore? I just can't keep up with these fashion trends.

Like his family, who just want the paychecks to arrive regularly in the mail, we will all hope to see and hear less from Joe. Sure, he threatens to log in from airports and get a laptop, but we all know he is a nob who can't find his lapbottom with both hands, much less his laptop. I think our moment of freedom from the Tyranny of the Justicariate has arrived at last.

Alas and alack I fear me that there may be some truth in that. Apparently the thought police at my new employer are sticklers about what does and doesn't GO] with the company laptop and I'm not sure if I'll be able to access the board or not. I WILL be getting a personal laptop but that may be a couple of paychecks down the road.

So then, Gentle Jackals, let's all send Justicar off with a hearty sing-a-long to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home":

When Joey goes flying off to work, Hooray, Hooray;

We'll give him the boot in the obvious place, Hooray, Hooray;

The Kniggets will laugh, and the Pillocks will shout;

The gas will go down when the pilot goes out:

And we'll all breathe air when Joey goes flying off

{sniff} ah geeze, Lawyer ya shouldn't have ... and I didn't get you anything ... well, other than the complimentary subscription to "Rubber Suit And Whip" magazine ... should be arriving at your office address any day now.

JoeBob, here's hoping that you run into some SSN that you recently abused doing security checks at Salt Lake airport on your very first trip. The thorough strip search will be invigorating. Don't forget to wash your behind and wear clean undies.

Bah! Already happened, though not to that degree, on my second interview trip. The chap doing the frisking DID bear an uncanny resemblance to Bauhaus ... in more ways than one.

Ah, Joe, don't give up, your help to influence my posting habits must continue. I welcome it, in my peculiar way.

Have I missed something? Your advice? I know nothing of the Code Duello and many other things, so even though a donkey is stubborn and slow to change its ways, wisdom is appreciated.

As for the things that make me smile, well, Joe like my warped psychology, I cannot explain.

Yeknodathon you had your chance and chose to take the low road. Guidance will not be offered again. I shudder for the CessPool.

Joe

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Diceman:

Quire and sponsor go duck hunting.

Idjit Yeknod

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Diceman:

Ohh you must be talking about this fellow here:

OGSF , either your dairy cow has stopped giving milk because your Jack Ass keeps molesting it, or Yeknodathon is your squire. (Note the correct spelling) Hard to tell with that accent of yours. I can barely understand a word you say. If he is indeed your squire, please rein him in.

Thas as wha happen's whain Joe(Ah'd play ye boot mah eye's ha' fell back aintae mah haid) Shaw as alloo'd tae tak' pillocks tae squire. Sae Chopped Liver, who's tha' holdin' ye sae tenderly ain haes arm's mon?

Ah believe mah Squire ha' gutted ye Leige wi' tha rusty knife o' satirical wit. Saint haim slinkin' awah' tae hae's litter box wi' hais pee soaked tail batween hais laigs.

Ah'm sae prood - an' yoo are a pillocky, fish eyed Squire o' a publicly humiliated Kanniget. Sae ye kin kiss mah spotty arrrse laddie!

Af'n mah Squire as noo slappin' tha sock eyed snot oot o' ye ain ye PBEM, Ah'm cerrtain haes annoyin' ye wi' haes aimless meanderin's ain tha woods mon. Whuch as as at should bae.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

Ah believe mah Squire ha' gutted ye Leige wi' tha rusty knife o' satirical wit. Saint haim slinkin' awah' tae hae's litter box wi' hais pee soaked tail batween hais laigs.

Ah fine then OGSF perhaps YOU can explain the unexplainable then.

You see your Squire posted that the funniest thing I had ever written was indeed within my profile when I stated that I was a Mortgage Banker (as indeed I am) who lived in what he called Mormon Utah (ignoring the fact that there are non-Mormons in Utah). I took him to task and asked him to explain HOW that was funny.

He choose, not surprisingly, to ignore the question so, as his Knight, perhaps YOU can explain why this ... let me see, what did you call it ... ah yes "satirical wit" is funny?

I rely upon you OGSF, don't let me down.

Joe

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

[QBAh fine then OGSF perhaps YOU can explain the unexplainable then.

You see your Squire posted that the funniest thing I had ever written was indeed within my profile when I stated that I was a Mortgage Banker (as indeed I am) who lived in what he called Mormon Utah (ignoring the fact that there are non-Mormons in Utah). I took him to task and asked him to explain HOW that was funny.

He choose, not surprisingly, to ignore the question so, as his Knight, perhaps YOU can explain why this ... let me see, what did you call it ... ah yes "satirical wit" is funny?

I rely upon you OGSF, don't let me down.

Joe[/QB]

Tha essence o' tha humour here, Sir Joe, can bae foond ain the followin' clue flung glibly ain yer general direction bah mah Squire:

"And as yer toil at me posts... think on Joe that it is OGSF's SQUIRE that makes yer work and sweat. Come, laddie, chase me tail some more. - Idjit Yeknod"

An' lak a wee yappy terrier driven' frantic bah tha chatterin' o' a squirrel, ye cam scamperin' oot agin' tae bark at tha tree.

Ah've noo doobt ye'll gi on aboot tha mortgage banker an' SLC thang agin... oblivious tae tha bait e'en as ye bite doon on at.

Observin' tha responce tae idiocy as ats ain reward. Ye should sell tickets, Joe.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Joe Shaw]

Ah've noo doobt ye'll gi on aboot tha mortgage banker an' SLC thang agin... oblivious tae tha bait e'en as ye bite doon on at.

Ah yes, as I expected, you can find no humor, or indeed sense, in it either. Look OGSF, why not just admit it man, you goofed! You screwed the pooch, you dropped the ball, you failed in your duty as a Knight of the CessPool to take to squire ONLY those SSNs ... who were worthy!

In your haste and, let's be honest, need, you ignorned the primary rule of the CessPool, that only men of WIT, of HUMOR and of SUBSTANCE should be made Squires. Yes, yes it's commendable of you to stand by your unfortunate choice but it's not too late you know. Precedence has been established that Squires can be thrown back. Sir OGSF, the lad has, no doubt, some admirable qualities, but ... HE MAKES NO SENSE! He posts here, he posts there and throws words, any words, into the fray with no regard for meaning or value.

You may wiggle and turn all you like sir, but the TRUTH will out.

Joe

[Gates-slut]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

but ... HE MAKES NO SENSE! He posts here, he posts there and throws words, any words, into the fray with no regard for meaning or value.

Joe

This could just as easily be said of our good and valued boffo scenario designer menschy. How many times have we read one of is hallucinagenic posts only to skip a bit to see if there was a point to it?

And who can forget our little donkey's "I'd like to see him pass a potato to a Puccini love duet?" regarding the Dark One's rhino-curry-opera incident? That was just short of brilliant. Ok a lot short of brilliant but it still made me laugh until I stopped.

Frequent irrelevant posting of internal musings and cluttered mind attic things is not limited to our little thistle munching pal. We do have The Bard to thank for voluminous ramblings on divers and sundry topics - often without point or object - and yet we do not...wait, yes we do. Never mind. Let's flay the little long-eared git and cook his guts over an open fire.

G-sFKaP

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Indeed.

So, the 'truth', as you say, DOES hurt???

I s'pose it will be a little more lassez-faire around here without your goodself, the Just-A-Caricature to adminster "appropos punitivus damigius" to footloose SSN's, eh?

However, let it not be said that the Floss ever held any grudges against BubbaJoe ......... so I bid thee farewell and goodspeed to yer. I hope ye make a packet in yer new venture.

And there's MORE: no less than a totally uninformative and concise gamey update ......

SEANACHAI - WIA (Try applying cold compresses to the forehead, sire)

LARS - MIA (Please, don't run away and hide in perpetuity just because my legions have crossed the Potomac!)

NOBA - KIA (Alas, the mountains of Vienna proved too high to scale for the wily Nobbits)

There ....... didn't hurt one bit, did it?

PILLOCKS!

AJ

[Joe Shaw]

My GAWD it IS time to leave, first Yeknodathon and now FlossieJeff.

It occurs to me that this whole thing with Yeknodathon is getting ... not funny. It is, in fact, getting mean and that's not a good thing. So I'm going to drop it because I try not to be mean and I don't like it when I get that way.

I'll be back on Wednesday give or take a day or four and I'll be back to my friendly, lovable self ... I just won't be hassling Yeknodathon about his posts. With LUCK I can find a whole 'nother thing to hassle him about, hell, he's OGSF's squire ... how hard could it be.

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

{snip} It is, in fact, getting mean and that's not a good thing. {snip} I try not to be mean and I don't like it when I get that way. {snip} I'll be back to my friendly, lovable self.

That is some of the most revolting drivel I have ever seen posted here! Best you straighten up and fly right Joe. If we let stuff like this go, we may become some sort of tree-huggin', hand-holdin', hippie commune

[Goanna]

If you expect to pull this off, you should perhaps spell my name correctly

Good point. But since we lowly minions should not even be allowed to speak the name of the creator aloud, how can you expect us to spell it correctly.

Note to self: Add "been bitch slapped by S. Grammont" to resume.

[Goanna]

because I try not to be mean and I don't like it when I get that way.

wuss

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

That is some of the most revolting drivel I have ever seen posted here! Best you straighten up and fly right Joe. If we let stuff like this go, we may become some sort of tree-huggin', hand-holdin', hippie commune

Even the Dark One likes the occasional foray to Oregon. "Just sit back and relax your mind."

Evil Pillock! Just get on the two-tiered bus (the upper portion obviously a VW bus welded on to a surplus school bus(and how many more times can I say "bus" in this post?(wait; how about a quick buss on the cheek, oh horned one?))) and ride to Nirvana.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Goanna:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />because I try not to be mean and I don't like it when I get that way.

wuss</font>

[Croda]

SuperLizard

A turn would be nice.

Jackass.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

And Berli, Patch is evidence clear that the phrase "better half" is MORE than just a phrase.

Feh! Just what I expect from you. Toss out a barb that I can only respond to at risk of the Frying Pan™. That's it, hide behind a woman's skirts

[Stuka]

I need a turn off the Lizard just so I can surrender.

Makes me feel like a total Croda to say that, but there it is.