The NEW Peng Challenge ... Available Before Sept. 20th

[Patchy]

Originally posted by dalem:

I like cantaloupe.

So do I.

Persephone

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Harv I shall ask you to keep a wary eye on this lot.

Joe, you're leaving Harv in charge again? {Snicker, Snicker}

Persephone

[Patchy]

Originally posted by athkatla:

The piss boy sings:

Oh what a beautiful morning

Oh what a beautiful day

I've got a wonderful feeling

Everythings going my way

Arsekissa, that is a very optimistic outlook for a Monday.

Persephone

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Moriarty:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

When you old farts have finally sorted out my lowly position be sure to let me know. Meanwhile, I will continue to wander around this thread, piss-pot on head for you all to dribble into.

You have no need to know anything until you are taught, pisspot boy-o</font>

[Boo Radley]

I was up late Sat night/Sun morn. channel surfing (caught some gnarly wave action, dude.) when I happened to notice that the Sci/Fi channel had Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. on. (For those of you who don't know or care, Nick Fury was a Marvel Comics character who started out as a WWII soldier in the comic, "Nick Fury and His Howlin' Commandoes". After the war, he went to work for the govt. as a spy, working for S.H.I.E.L.D. or Supreme Headquarters for International Espionage and Law-enforcement Division.)

I had never seen the movie before and realized that it would probably be at least 110% camp, decided to check it out anyway.

As I clicked the remote to channel 62, the first person I saw was Nick Fury! He of the perpetual 5 O'Clock shadow, cigar stub clenched between his pearly whites, wearing his famed eye patch that was the result of some hideous Cheetos incident gone awry (or somefink).

Then I noticed that the part of Nick Fury was played by none other than DAVID HASSELHOFF!!! He of the large chin and ego, graduate of the Downer's Grove Institute of Acting and Screen Door Repair. Yes, the evil one from Babe Watch and Knight Rider.

I knew at that moment that no matter how drunk I may be, there was no way I could ever be drunk enough to watch this.

Some things just should never, ever be shown on TV. Programs of this caliber should only be available in the partitioned off rooms of your neighborhood video place or perhaps through mail order, showing up in your mailbox in a brown wrapper marked Tiajuana C.O.D. But never, never on TV. Well, maybe on Animal Planet. But no place else!

[The_Capt]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

[QB]DAVID HASSELHOFF!!! [QB]

The Girdled God....

[Joe Shaw]

Nick Fury was a Marvel Comics character who started out as a WWII soldier in the comic, "Nick Fury and His Howlin' Commandoes".

Not to get all groggly on you or anything but it was actually "Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos." Didn't know about the Agent of Shield thing though, guess I wasn't doing comics by that time.

Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos

Nearly off to Phoenix, just about four more hours ... really ... you can trust me.

Joe

[Panzer Leader]

Ok, Joe 15 window closures later I am finally outta that sight you posted. Could we be a little more tasteful in our choices for links please? Hmmmm?

And another thing: What about House Seanachai? Otherwise known as The House of the Rising Sun, the Hobbit-Hole, Our House, and "The garden".

Not that I condone this tourney (will Fionn be invited? Oh, joy) but if it is to bem then it should at least be all-inclusive.

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Not that I condone this tourney (will Fionn be invited? Oh, joy) but if it is to bem then it should at least be all-inclusive.

Sheep! You are all Sheep! (down Mace) What is with this "oh, I really don't think that this ladder tourney that Red Jo is starting is a good idea, but I guess that if the Rent-a-car say so, I guess I'll just have to go along."

Don't you fools see it for what it is? Just one more foot down the slippery slope to the Dictatorship of the Justicarite. This madness must be stopped now before the MBT becomes...

another

stinking

ladder.

I only hope that it isn't already too late.

Oh, the Horror ...

[ July 15, 2002, 10:09 AM: Message edited by: Marlow ]

[Lars]

Originally posted by Goanna:

Lars

Because I need some new blood. Hopefully mostly yours. Also selected due to the fact that you are a Minnesotan, a gun toting crazy and known to do both while regularly inebriated.

Feeling anemic, eh? Weak Challenge noted and accepted.

It's been a long time since I've shot a lizard. Don't get much call for that round these parts. I do miss that sound they make as they ping off the rocks. Make sure there are rocks. Lots of rocks. And I have a big gun. A really big gun.

Send the setup. And some beer. Lots of beer.

[Doug Beman]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Ok, Joe 15 window closures later I am finally outta that sight you posted. Could we be a little more tasteful in our choices for links please? Hmmmm?

And another thing: What about House Seanachai? Otherwise known as The House of the Rising Sun, the Hobbit-Hole, Our House, and "The garden".

Not that I condone this tourney (will Fionn be invited? Oh, joy) but if it is to bem then it should at least be all-inclusive.

Frankly, I don't want to know what you plan to do with a Hobbit-Hole.

DjB

[Panzer Leader]

Frankly, Beamin' Doug, shouldn't you be out in the outerboards asking for opinions on which is the best garden-hose to buy, or somefink?

[Hakko Ichiu]

Originally posted by Jo Xia:

ooOOOgah, ooOOOgah, ooOOOgah

Each and every member of a recognized CessPool House is REQUIRED to participate.

All battles will be fought using the following parameters:

 Type: Unrestricted

 Force: No Restriction

 Quality: Random

 Battle: Meeting Engagement

 Force Size: 300 Points

 Map: Small

 Date: March 1945

 Time: Random

 Weather: Random

 Turns: 20

The following Houses have been recognized and the Justicariate will require full rosters of all current and former members of the Houses.

House Berli

House Croda

House Persiflage

House Rune

Shavian House

So you see lads, the Great CessPool House Tourney will be a tourney that embraces the virtues and traditions of the CessPool and rewards those who follow those traditions. THIS will be the REAL CMBO Tourney.

We have been here long ages, before the first SSN emerged from the primordial muck to gaze with chin-dribbling wonder at the glories of the MBT. Not as long as the Old Ones perhaps, but who would want such chafing chains of office? We who remember The Van and kitchen sinks as realities, not legends, who heard the first primordial cries of, "Sit Down, Bauhaus!", who lived in a 'Pool where the average, common-or-garden variety taunt reached a level that would today be celebrated as epic, who remember the golden dawn of the first Grog-Porn™, look around us at the shattered ruins of the Thread That Was and Will Be and can but despair.

In the Arcadia of our Beginning, there were no rules. We lived to taunt and taunted to live. Then, as new supplicants gravitated to the radiance of the 'Pool, we created rules so that these SSNs would know what it meant to take on the awesome responsibility that is the MBT. Some of us revolted at the very thought of rules, for who were we to need such base and earth-bound fetters? Yet we surrendered that first precious link of our liberty without harm to ourselves, for the rules were everchanging, mutable, protean, reflecting the true nature, the unchanging changeability of the One True Thread.

Then there came titles, a division of the unity of the 'Pool. Some of us balked at the idea, yet we were won over by these baubles, for they adorned us and enhanced our pulling power with the ladies. Yet the divisions grew. Some of us were blighted with ambition. We wanted power over others when we had not yet mastered ourselves. Some of us were not content to raise Squires to Kniggethood and release our protegés to the pool. No, they must have more, and divided the 'Pool further into houses, clans, factions that fought and tore at each other like rabid beasts (definitely a good thing), but increased the rigiditiy of the MBT (definitely a bad thing) until it became as sclerotic as the pork-rind laden arteries of the prime mover of this evil, the one who would bring Law into the gleaming, radiant Chaos of the Motherbeautiful Thread That Will Always Be There, The One, True Peng Challenge.

You all know of whom I speak: our very own Richelieu, our Mussolini, our gangsta-pimp with his stable of Mormon wife hos, our Justiciar and stalking horse of the Red Chinese Communist hordes, Jo Xia.

J'Accuse, Jo Xia, j'accuse. I would call you out, but I'm already about kicking your shriveled, Maoist heinie six ways to Sunday. So I say to you, cease this foolishness, put down the gauntlet of challenge that could rend the 'Pool asunder, dissolve Shavian House into the primordial Chaos which is our birthright and be done. If you have one shred of decency left in you, this you will do. If not, the lamentations of Jeremiah will not be sufficient to mourn the loss that we all shall suffer, you most of all, Jo Xia. You most of all.

[Joe Shaw]

{snipped massive quantities of drivel that proved only that Hakko Ichiu was here for a while, then left, then came back ... damn it} ... J'Accuse, Jo Xia, j'accuse. I would call you out, but I'm already about kicking your shriveled, Maoist heinie six ways to Sunday.

I don't know this "J" guy is or why he should care one way or the other so I'll just ignore him like any other SSN and speak to you ... you have my permission to feel honored. As to our game, early days yet lad, early days, let's not forget the columns of smoke over the snowscape that I left in the wake of our LAST encounter.

So I say to you, cease this foolishness, put down the gauntlet of challenge that could rend the 'Pool asunder,

Now I call this heresy of the most base sort Eathan. For is not the very NAME of the thread the Peng CHALLENGE Thread? Is it not and has it not always been the purpose of the MBT to Challenge and in that challenge to prove our worth to the CessPool? This Tourney that you so decry (soley in a transparent attempt to discredit ME) is naught more than another vehicle for those challenges. For shame Eathan, for shame.

... dissolve Shavian House into the primordial Chaos which is our birthright and be done. If you have one shred of decency left in you, this you will do.

I was not the first, nor even the second to proclaim a House in the CessPool. Blame that, if you like, upon dalem, Croda, Berli and all those who began this division. It became obvious to me that if the Squires I had raised to Knighthood were to have any chance of survival they would need the protection of a mighty House and a banner beneath which to fight.

If not, the lamentations of Jeremiah will not be sufficient to mourn the loss that we all shall suffer, you most of all, Jo Xia. You most of all.

ANOTHER SSN then? I could give two figs for what your Bullfrog friend of an SSN has to say and neither should you ... granted he does have some mighty fine wine.

Some lament the rules of the Tourney. Are they not the very contradiction of outerboard Tourney rules? Do they not, by their construction, throw the lie in face of every ladder and competitive site in existence? Is not the First Semi-Irregular CessPool House Tourney a stench in the nostrils of every ladder climbing wanker and outerboard idjit? This Tourney should be AND IS embraced by all right thinking CessPoolers as the very embodiment of the CessPool.

I do this not for personal power or glory but only for the power and glory of the CessPool As A Hole!

Joe

[ July 15, 2002, 11:24 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I do this not for personal power or glory but only for the power and glory of the CessPool As A Hole!

Joe

And you notice how he "does" it and then leaves town in a hurry?

"That was excellent my dear. How about if I leave this Fifty on the night stand and you can go out and buy yourself something pretty? Hmmm?"

Anybody else feel that the MBT is becoming Joe's personal doxy?

[Lars]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Is not the First Semi-Irregular CessPool House Tourney a stench in the nostrils of every ladder climbing wanker and outerboard idjit?

Perhaps "Second Semi-Irregular {see your doctor} CessPool Pissing Match & Fecal Throwing Contest" would be a better title Shaw?.

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Your own words give away your true intentions, Mr. Xia. Take:

"First Semi-Irregular CessPool House Tourney"

and transpose "House" and "Tourney" and what do you get?

"CessPool Tourney House."

Not only are you trying to turn the Cesspool into the most vile of outerboard creations, a ladder site (again I note complete with Clans), but you also name it after one of them. Where does it end Jo?

"Right Thinking" Cesspoolers, eh Jo? Did you get that term out of your Ministry of Truth handbook?

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Marlow:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Your own words give away your true intentions, Mr. Xia. Take:

"First Semi-Irregular CessPool House Tourney"

and transpose "House" and "Tourney" and what do you get?

"CessPool Tourney House."

Not only are you trying to turn the Cesspool into the most vile of outerboard creations, a ladder site (again I note complete with Clans), but you also name it after one of them. Where does it end Jo?

"Right Thinking" Cesspoolers, eh Jo? Did you get that term out of your Ministry of Truth handbook?</font>

Are we to listen to the words of a self confessed [sneer] Lackey to the Barons of Entrenched Corporate Greed [/sneer? Twist my words all you like Marlow, but you are scum sir, scum and slime, scum, slime and stench, scum, slime ... yeah, yeah okay but you get my point.

This Tourney is the Anti-Tourney and a damned fine idea if I do say so myself. I find my self without other recourse than to Challenge you Marlow ... as you are without honor I'll forego the usual seconds and shall send a setup today, despite my rush to the airport ... I'll use the parameters set forth for the Tourney for your setup ... which House are you with again?

Joe

[ July 15, 2002, 12:07 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[dalem]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I was not the first, nor even the second to proclaim a House in the CessPool. Blame that, if you like, upon dalem, Croda, Berli and all those who began this division. It became obvious to me that if the Squires I had raised to Knighthood were to have any chance of survival they would need the protection of a mighty House and a banner beneath which to fight.

Unwise one, my intention was that House Persiflage would be a meeting place for all and sundry, a place to abuse my squires, a place to hang The Box --

Hey, speaking of, Papa Khann!!! Git your butt over here and tell everyone how your games are going. Meeting engagements only, I believe was stipulated for your quest, hmm? So where are the anime-like splash pages of gore and gristle? --

anyway, a place for The Box, some old tires, a rusty '46 Ford pickup, and the giraffes.

In short Old Man, I intended House Persiflage to be a bastion of abuse, not conflict. Now, although my spinal fluid curdles every time I grit my teeth and suffer the photons of wavelengths and frequencies that allow the unholy stain of your words to impinge upon the backs of my eyeballs and thence course through my optical nerves like broken glass through Crazy Straws, I believe that you meant no harm to the MBT through your misguided effort. I will run through the corridors of your bloated Death Star of a tournament as long as it still reeks of an AntiTournament, much as I announce results of games in here knowing that only the Losses are totalled.

But know this, Old Joe, know this: you are walking a fine line, perhaps too fine a line for someone with a bad hip and corrective shoes to navigate successfully. Should you slip, and fall, and be unable to get up because you have fallen, House Persiflage will jump in a X-wing and give you a proton torpedo right up the thermal exhaust port quicker than you can say "pacemaker".

In goode faithe I invite everyone to House Persiflage for milk and cookies. And some squire abuse. Papa Khann looks bored.

[ July 15, 2002, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: dalem ]

[Buzzsaw]

Hakko Ichiu, I see that you speak from your heart, and out of concern for the MBT, but you must understand that nothing can "rend the 'Pool asunder." You speak of the "Thread that Was and Will Be", when, in fact, it is the Thread that Always Has Been, and Always Will Be. The Cesspool was here long before Seanachai first penned those words: "Peng, I take our challenge public", and it will be here long after Joe’s hot air has run out. No one can destroy the MBT: not Joe, not The Olde Ones, not the Big Baldy himself.

Too be sure, we owe a debt of gratitude to those who first illuminated the MBT. Those luminaries who first perceived the Cesspool, and encouraged the rest of us seek its truth. But, each person’s interpretation of the MBT may be different. To one, the Cesspool is a place for jolly sing-songs, to another a place to discuss sheep fetishes, and to another a place of knights, squires, and houses. We all perceive the shadows cast by the ideal in a different way. But Joe’s interpretation can nor more change the MBT, than a cloud can change the sun.

I welcome your attempts to persuade Joe about the true meaning of the MBT, but just realize that his ability to comprehend may be far less than your own, and fear not for the fabric of the MBT, for it is spun of a fiber far stronger than any of us can imagine.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by dalem:

But know this, Old Joe, know this: you are walking a fine line, perhaps too fine a line for someone with a bad hip and corrective shoes

Not to mention the corrective hat and corrective body stocking and the elaborate network of trusses beneath said body stocking, two hearing aids, coke-bottle bottom glasses, Turbo-Shatner 3000™ toupee (complete with chin strap), Depends®, (did I mention the corrective hat? I love that line) and mail order dentures.

Besides, I think that any Tourney in the MBT should have a splashier name. Something with Whiz-Bang or A-Go-Go in it.

[Joe Shaw]

initially posted by someone claiming to be dalem but since few of the words were misspelled and most of the grammar was correct I'm betting he had a Squire pen it, could be wrong of course but the evidence certainly points that way don't you think? I mean after all, who would bet on the 11 to 1 long shot of dalem posting THAT many words and getting THAT many right? The odds are just WAY against it and I don't think that's what happened, I mean, have you ever SEEN dalem? That boy is a poster child for Planned Parenthood, as in "If you don't Plan to be a Parent, You Could End up Parenting THIS!" and then have a photo of him off to the side, any photo would do. ... where was I ..: Unwise one, my intention was that House Persiflage would be a meeting place for all and sundry, a place to abuse my squires, a place to hang The Box --

Oh sure, dalem, that's what you say NOW! And no doubt you have no further territorial claims upon the BFC board either NOW. An appeaser believes that if you keep feeding steaks to a tiger for long enough ... he'll eventually become a vegetarian.

Well we're on to your little scheme dalem and the Shavian House and the Justicariate is ever vigilant.

Joe

[rune]

What would happen if Joebob threw a tourney and nobody came? Would he attack the windmill? Would Lars put him out of his misery and take over the House?

I will NOT participate in SAID tourney. The last time I did anything with Combat Mission and my house, I am still being attacked for. Alas, my time is not free, as I must help on that which cannot be named.

Besides, I brought lawyers into the pool. Who wants to admit that?

Buzzsaw, you twit. Did * Boot * I not ask * Boot * for an AAR of your * Boot * latest draw? Must I drop * Boot * an IS2 [grog term] on your * Boot * head to make you pay attention? * Boot * * Boot * * Boot * I am doing this for * Boot * your own good. * Boot * You want to rise to a serf someday, [What the heck, enjoy yourself Bauhaus ] and maybe into a Knighthood. * Boot * Get * Boot * posting * Boot * young * Boot * one.

Rune

[Hakko Ichiu]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now I call this heresy of the most base sort Eathan. For is not the very NAME of the thread the Peng CHALLENGE Thread? Is it not and has it not always been the purpose of the MBT to Challenge and in that challenge to prove our worth to the CessPool? This Tourney that you so decry (soley in a transparent attempt to discredit ME) is naught more than another vehicle for those challenges. For shame Eathan, for shame.

They maintain the outer forms yet inside is hollowness, a symphony of despair. Where is the taunt in a ticky-boxy list of conditions? Are you so blinded by your own crazed Deng-ist ambition that you cannot see what you do -- I mean apart from senior moments?

I was not the first, nor even the second to proclaim a House in the CessPool. Blame that, if you like, upon dalem, Croda, Berli and all those who began this division. It became obvious to me that if the Squires I had raised to Knighthood were to have any chance of survival they would need the protection of a mighty House and a banner beneath which to fight.

Vanity, thy name is Jo Xia! I presume that if Dalem, Berli, and Croda jumped off the Empire State Building, you would too. Excellent. Gentlemen, you have your orders.

[Yeknodathon]

[And as the dusk dribbles into shade and various malformed birds scurry for their roosts something is parading in the paddock with a sign around its neck]

Semi-irugula Jog Shag Chullenge

Fist Priz

Donkey

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[ July 15, 2002, 01:30 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]