Moriarty Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Where were you, Moriarty when the smilies were rolling across these pages like severed heads?You did a nice job taking care of the light work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Whoa there podnas! I do believe that the unseemly grovelling (good show that!) at my feet makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that little Spear-Chucker should rightfully belong (err serve under) to me! I demand a recount! Justice! Justicarrrrrr!!! Moriarty breezed in like he owned the place and snapped up a squire that I believe is rightfully mine. Where were you, Moriarty when the smilies were rolling across these pages like severed heads?Oh this is great, just Jim Feckin' Dandy! You have no idea how good it makes me feel to see the bunch of you fighting over a Serf as if he were the choicest table scrap thrown in your direction. With any kind of luck, fairly soon, we may see you all pulling each other's hair, trying to scratch each other's eyes out. Wait! I take my earlier analogy back! You fight over him like a bunch of middle-aged dowagers and he were the last Big Girls Blouse on the discount table! Soon I imagine you all will try to come up with some kind of plan to steal him away for yourselves, scheming like Richard III or Mr. Drysdale, even. This is what I call great entertainment! Carry on, Clowns. Carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Err. Updates. I did indeed lose to Simon. He lured me into a false sense of superiority by losing two tanks straight away and running bang into an artillery barrage. Unfortunately, the dice gods decided to even things up.... Papa 'Carn - the Crows' has somehow wheedled Two Hetzers, and something else with a big gun from a computer picked force ? to my one and only Sherman.....(and about 15 PIAT's) Boo_Riddles is writhing in the grip of my germans, and probably winning. AJ is boldly dieing on one side of the map only. Whats wrong with the other side Jeff. There arn't any mines on that side... Seanachai is forgetting we have a game on. And Jo_Sqwark is forgetting too... ps. Joe. I know a good Tournament Director if you need one.... Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Whoa there podnas! I do believe that the unseemly grovelling (good show that!) at my feet makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that little Spear-Chucker should rightfully belong (err serve under) to me! I demand a recount! Justice! Justicarrrrrr!!! Moriarty breezed in like he owned the place and snapped up a squire that I believe is rightfully mine. Where were you, Moriarty when the smilies were rolling across these pages like severed heads?Claimed here... "Well, I like the cut of this one - got an unpronouncable name, Northern and feisty and tends towards psychological imbalance. Have we checked the teeth? *sniff* I wish to recommend this one as serf and possible Squire to see how he fares and guide 'im Westwards, as it were. Justicar!, acknowledge. Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock " an'acknowlaidged here... "And I suppose that we can accept him as Serf TO THE CESSPOOL mind, with first rights of refusal to ... who was it anyway? It was on the other thread and I'll be damned if I'll expend the energy required to look it up. Joe" Sae SHUT YE YAMMERIN' PIE HOLES AN' SOD OFF!! Much ableeged. Wha' a pair o' span'l squirts. [ July 13, 2002, 10:06 PM: Message edited by: OGSF ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Looks like the old goat ... er, Justiflatus, will have to look it up. I'll abide by an official decision, i.e. not your assertion Spaniard or the blatherings of Pantywaist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 It bothers me to say that OGSF is correct, but Yeknod o' tha Thistle did have first dibs on Assmaster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by Moriarty: Looks like the old goat ... er, Justiflatus, will have to look it up. I'll abide by an official decision, i.e. not your assertion Spaniard or the blatherings of PantywaistHae didnae have tae look at oop, cos at's quoted rrright there, ye snot-gobblin' chinchilla-sniffin' splodge-brained belch fraim a wide-moothed frog! Af'n mah wee span'l cam aintae mah hoose wi' tha leeks o' yoo ain her soft an' tender mooth laddie, Ah'd stamp orn tha loose floor board ain tha scullery an' gi' her an' oopercut wi' tha far aind, tae gi' ye waill an' trooly skewered orn her wee dentures. Callin' her tae tha W.C> an' tha unflushed toilet bowl Ah keep personally primed fer such occashuns, Ah'd coax her tae look ain fer a wee drink. Thain Ah'd put Panting Bleeder ain a sack o' wrinkly spuds an' smack her across tha back o' tha feckin' haid sae ye'd come flyin' oot wi' her wee dentures tae hit tha unflushed flushables at speed mon, embeddin' yer shtyupid sailf ain whichever floater wid have ye. Grabbin' a handy plunger, Ah'd turrn at aroond an' jam tha sack o' Pantless Leaper ain on top o' ye wi' tha wooden aind. Thain Ah'd flush tha stankin' pair o' ye back tae tha Cesspool where ye belong! An' ye'd owe mae fer a noo set o' dentures fer mah wee span'l too. Bastaarrrd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 What'd he say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: It bothers me to say that OGSF is correct, but Yeknod o' tha Thistle did have first dibs on AssmasterBah, you're not exactly objective in this as you and Persephone have always, well nearly always, had a great fondness for stunyeknod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by Moriarty: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Athkatla sayeth: I'm stressed, and need time to settle to my new duties, so be patient, or I might just let loose again! Ah, yes, duties. Carrying the honey pot is the duty of a serf. Quite right. But not for a Squire. Lorak scribble it thusly that Athkatla is now Squire to myself, Sir Stuka and Sir Leeo of the House of Hopeless Causes. Your first duties as such * KICK * are to lose the excuses and subservient tone. * KICK * Next, you shall commit to memory the only training you'll ever need: Go Forth to Kill, Maim, Destroy and Conquer. Granted, I am not very good at this sort of thing but those I have squired are quite respectable at it. * KICK * Do not cross Sir Berlichingen, the Evil One, lest he heap a mass of Mondays on you. * KICK * Show respect to the ladies of the MBT, all others must pay cash. That is all for now.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Oh and who is this FOGS person? Never heard of 'im. Oh Sir Knight , he is a little piece of humanity (we think), who has decided that communication is for the dogs. He speaks with/for/through his "wee spaniel"...although we know what he really means by his "dog". His actual speech is a cross between nothing and nothing. The content of his communications are nothings. He is a great big Nothing Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Bother, bother and bother I can't be doing with this Serfing... its reeks of Nobbits... no, no it just won't do. Justicar! Make 'im Squire. THE DONKEY WILL SPAWN. Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by Yeknodathon: Justicar! Make 'im Squire. THE DONKEY WILL SPAWN.ROTFL!!!! I really needed that after this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by Noba: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Oh and who is this FOGS person? Never heard of 'im. Oh Sir Knight , he is a little piece of humanity (we think), who has decided that communication is for the dogs. He speaks with/for/through his "wee spaniel"...although we know what he really means by his "dog". His actual speech is a cross between nothing and nothing. The content of his communications are nothings. He is a great big Nothing Noba.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Blithering Nobbit. Shoo, shoo... away with yer little Nobbit ways... I'm instructing me Squire.Speak in words of one syllable then. Oh! You don't know words with more.. ? Shame. Poor Squire. Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by R_Leete: Expect a strange turn of events in the next file.Ok. I expect a strange turn of events in the next file. (What, you actually put some thought into this turn?) However, I'd like to point out, Are_Late, that this whole "have CM, want to play game" thing we're having a go at would flow much more smoothly if you'd kindly: 1) Stop pattering on about how "Oh this turn is a doozy" and "Oh what fun you'll have when and if I ever get around to emailing this turn to you" 2) FOR THE LOVE OF PETE STUFF A CORK IN IT AND SEND ME MY BLEEDIN' TURN, YOU DOLT Papa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by some scumbag called Moriarty:<HR> Ah, yes, duties. Carrying the honey pot is the duty of a serf. Quite right. But not for a Squire. Lorak scribble it thusly that Athkatla is now Squire to myself, Sir Stuka and Sir Leeo of the House of Hopeless Causes. Your first duties as such * KICK * are to lose the excuses and subservient tone. * KICK * Next, you shall commit to memory the only training you'll ever need: Go Forth to Kill, Maim, Destroy and Conquer. Granted, I am not very good at this sort of thing but those I have squired are quite respectable at it. * KICK * Do not cross Sir Berlichingen, the Evil One, lest he heap a mass of Mondays on you. * KICK * Show respect to the ladies of the MBT, all others must pay cash. That is all for now.<HR> Originally posted by my Brave Sir Knight, Yeknodathon<HR> Eh? Wot? Well that's just bleedin' rich, just a few hours of attention and the lad's showing promise and everyone wants a piece of the Humber wretch. Pathetic. Get yer boot off the Lorak-OGSF-Yeknodathon Serf... this one is for JULIE ANDREWS DRESS. Serf, I say SERF - attend training. Serf, SERF! Now laddie, smilies *thwack* not good. Unduely submissive behaviour *thwack* not good outside paddock *thwack* very good *thwack* inside paddock. Got that? *thwack* Today's lesson at the Gymnasium Yeknod: Dealing with ssns and FLAMING PILLOCKS WHO LIKE YER CUT AND TRY TO SNAFFLE ME SERF ... for which I have fashioned a poppet, a wee sausage, with bug eyes and a little dainty tail and MORIARTY scribbled down its side in me very thickest, blackest crayon. Now, I have attached me poppet to me tail by means of string and will perambulate me paddock and, with hops and the odd jig, will bring life to our little friend. Now, Serf, poppet is bad, poppet is ssn or some other RUSTLING VAGRANT so SAVAGE THE LITTLE BRUTE, WRESTLE IT TO THE GROUND AND TREAT IT THE CLAN WAY WITH CLAYMORE AND TEETH. Oh and who is this FOGS person? Never heard of 'im. Yer beating the snot out of 'im? Funny he should have spaniel, never like them meself, always attached itself to me legs. Oh, and pay yer respects to me Liege, OGSF, don't be upsetting him now, he's a bit flighty too. Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock<HR> My Brave Sir "4 Legged" Knight you came to my rescue, I am forever in your debt, and will bow at the mere hint of your shadow crossing my path. Sire, are you not pleased with me, that I resisted the advances of the dog breathed Moriarty, he and his puppets can rot in the sewers of hell for all I care, or even the sewers of Birmingham, which are a damn sight worse! FOGS is none other than OGSF my leige, but I'm sure your excellency knew that, and was just making fun of your new serf. Perhaps I should send a few of my troops out on drill practice so he can kill them, I think that's the only way he will beat me, and beat me he must, for I am only his lowly serf. So Mr OGSF and his wee spaniel (nice doggie, nice doggie, now feck off), if you stop shelling empty woods and destroying empty buildings, you might just eek out a win. [ July 14, 2002, 06:46 AM: Message edited by: athkatla ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock<HR> My Brave Sir "4 Legged" Knight you came to my rescue, I am forever in your debt, and will bow at the mere hint of your shadow crossing my path. Sire, are you not pleased with me, that I resisted the advances of the dog breathed Moriarty, he and his puppets can rot in the sewers of hell for all I care, or even the sewers of Birmingham, which are a damn sight worse! Oh, well done, good play , Squire. I particularly liked the bit about Birmingham. Alabama, eh? As yer first Quest, yer to provide Persephone (between you and me, "Snip" the Veterinary), with a photo for her pleasure and... er... Now mark me, this must be in ethnic dress. Yer hear? ETHNIC. Yer know what I mean? Good, good. Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 14, 2002 Author Share Posted July 14, 2002 Oh LAWD have mercy! You lot are so dense that an official U.S. Army Silver Bullet (look it up, there's more to military history than WW2 you know) wouldn't even make a dent. In fact I'm thinking the U.S. Army should seriously consider killing you (a good if obvious first step) and using the remains in their latest generation of super-penetrators. Let's see if I can make this clear, doubtful thought that seems considering the audience. It is one of the duties of the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread (and by extension the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread) to say yea or nay to the appointment of Squires. If, in the opinion of the Justicar, said SSN should appear a likely candidate, then the Knight requesting said SSN shall be granted first right of refusal at the time the SSN is made available. Until that time the SSN is made SERF TO THE ENTIRE CESSPOOL! When sufficient time has passed and the Serf evidences the qualities necessary to be included in the ranks of Squires (including but not limited to sufficient cash deposits in the Justicariate Relief Fund for Wayward and Distressed Young Ladies) then and ONLY THEN will the Serf be allowed to join the House of the Knight who first bespoke him. THEREFORE, the Serf athkatla (spelt but not bolded) is and shall remain Serf to the CessPool for the time being. We need, considering his intemperate remarks previously, to be sure that he is properly cognizant of the honor bestowed upon him and is ready to take up the duties of a TRUE Squire of the CessPool. At that time as designated by the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread he shall be awarded to Sir Yeknodathon as Squire unless said Knight wishes to waive his right of first refusal. At that time another Knight may take the Serf to Squire. Hoping this clears this unseemly squabble over a bloody Serf who is, after all, just a Pommie even though he does show some promise, I remain ... Joe [ July 14, 2002, 09:47 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 When you old farts have finally sorted out my lowly position be sure to let me know. Meanwhile, I will continue to wander around this thread, piss-pot on head for you all to dribble into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: When you old farts have finally sorted out my lowly position be sure to let me know. Meanwhile, I will continue to wander around this thread, piss-pot on head for you all to dribble into.I realize that in keeping with your reputation for being a "fashion maverick", you feel the need to cut a dashing figure around the 'Pool, but if you were to wear the brass chapeau at a less jaunty angle, you might not spill so much down your shoulders. Just a suggestion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 I can't think of anything funny to post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: I can't think of anything funny to post.What else is new? Oh yes, home computer is having problems - turns out when I feel like it. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: I can't think of anything funny to post.Apparently neither could Bo Diddley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: When you old farts have finally sorted out my lowly position be sure to let me know. Meanwhile, I will continue to wander around this thread, piss-pot on head for you all to dribble into.You have no need to know anything until you are taught, pisspot boy-o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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