The NEW Peng Challenge ... Available Before Sept. 20th

[Joe Shaw]

Hey ... YOU ... yeah you with the goofy look and drool spilling off your chin. Something we can DO for you? Just looking huh? Well just LOOK someplace else 'cause this here is the Peng Challenge Thread bucko, the Mutha Beautiful Thread and the CessPool and it AIN'T for the likes o' YOU!

Why? I don't gotta tell you why you loser but I'll do you a favor and 'splain it since you don't look too bright. YOU are an SSN, that's a Scum Sucking Newbie and if there's one thing we hate in the CessPool it's Scum Sucking Newbies ... that and Grogs, we hate Grogs too. So best you just tuck you tail and bust on out of here afore we have to start gettin' violent on you, know what I mean?

No you DON'T belong here doofus. Yeah I'm sure the guys at the garage think you're a barrel of laughs but that don't count for squat in here pal so let me put in another way ... SOD OFF! That get through there Einstein? No, well see it's like this, if you wander in here you better have a challenge and not one of them pansy "Hey guys, can I get a game?" challenge but a challenge that's got some meat on it's bones, you know what I mean?

No, I don't guess you DO know what I mean. Okay, look, it's gotta be a SPECIFIC challenge, you gotta challenge SOME ONE person. And don't go thinking you can challenge me neither, or any of the Knights on account of how we'll just laugh in your sorry face and tell you to SOD OFF again. Challenge another SSN, maybe a Serf, or maybe you'll get lucky and some Knight'll let his Squire play you ... probably not though. And listen dude, act like you got a pair, know what I mean?

No, I don't guess you got that part figured out neither. Sound off like a man, not some mamby pamby mama's boy. But don't go getting the idea that you can sound off ABOUT your pair, know what I mean?

Look I'm getting tired of this! Okay, here's the deal. No trashing somebody on account of race, religion, sex, sexual preference, politics or none of that stuff, just good old American (or European ... or Austral ... ah hell with it) personal attacks here pal.

And look, we don't give a rat's ass if you're any good at CM or not, we don't give a rat's ass if you know every tank ever made and we don't give a rat's ass what YOU think's gamey on account of how we LIKE gamey 'cause the outerboarders DON'T!

Now look clown, you're gonna stick around here we better be seeing an email address and at least a general location or we're gonna ignore you! If you look like you might be cool we'll make you a Serf, after that you might, MIGHT make a Squire to some Knight ... but don't count on it. In fact it'd just be better if you just make like a tree and LEAF, know what I mean?

No ... okay ... then how's about you just SOD OFF!

Joe

[ July 13, 2002, 12:44 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[rleete]

Whew! Guess big baldy is a bit touchy these days. I thought it perfectly suited to the MBT.

Hey, Joe, nice rendition, but drop the hokey "down home" crap. I expected to see the word "varmit" at the end of every sentence. And Yosemite Sam, you ain't. But I'll bet Bugs could still whup you any day of the week.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

Whew! Guess big baldy is a bit touchy these days. I thought it perfectly suited to the MBT.

Hey, Joe, nice rendition, but drop the hokey "down home" crap. I expected to see the word "varmit" at the end of every sentence. And Yosemite Sam, you ain't. But I'll bet Bugs could still whup you any day of the week.

Actually I think it works a lot better with a Noo Joysey accent ... give that a try and see if it doesn't sound better. You're right, the southern fried version would suck.

Joe

[Moriarty]

Leaf?

Wasn't that some Swedish sailor or somefink?

[Joe Shaw]

{sniff} It's a proud day lads, proud but sad ... proud, sad and important ... proud, sad, important and ... well you get the idea.

It gives me great pleasure to announce that the Shavian House has produced yet another Knight of the CessPool! Yes lads, it wasn't easy. It took long hours toiling over research papers, correcting spelling errors, honing tactical lessons until they became second nature and, of course, instilling that all important disgust and hatred of all things Australian.

But at long last it's done and I introduce to the CessPool ... Sir Harv Knight of the CessPool. Sir Harv has completed the traditional five CessPool games and has completed his course of study and is welcomed into the Shavian House. He may now proudly take his place among those who came before him:

Sir Agua Perdido

Sir Speedbump

Sir Lars

It's just ... {sniff} a very proud ... {sob} moment for any Liege but particularly for ... no, no, I'm all right ... for this old, tired Knight to see yet another young fresh faced lad turn into ... {ARRGGGHH} ... a KNIGHT IN HIS OWN RIGHT! {SOOOOBBBBBB!}

Joe

[MrPeng]

Awfully touchy. I hope the email I just sent doesn't push him over the edge! ACK!

I thought Fionn would get a larf, chcukle or perhaps even a guffaw out of it. He has been expecting his Penging, especially considering the outcome of our most recent challenge {details to come on a later date}.

Perhaps ol' baldy is still recovering from his humor transplant.

Peng

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Pantless Leader:

I'm ALIVE!

Well, you appear to be drawing breath anyway. Whether you're sentient or not remains to be seen.

P.S.

It would look more convincing if you stood up straight and stopped dragging your knuckles on the ground when you walk.

Cable guy apparently knew what he was doing - roadrunner fired right up without a hitch! Gotta love ethernet.

Seanachai, send me a turn.

O' Superior Yeknod, your gamey game criteria are fine by me, shoot me a set-up. And remember: the gamier you skew the game into your favor, the more I will relish beating the pants off you.

The rest of you (and you know who you are) yes I SEE the damn emails. Just wait your fecking turn.

I'm waiting my "fecking" turn, oh Pantless one. I've been waiting my "fecking" turn quite patiently FOR DAYS AND DAYS.

I'm not greedy. Just forget about everyone else and send me what I need. For instance, A "FECKING" TURN. After that, you can go putter about with SomeNachos and YesNodUhhuh and the rest of your high school shop class dropouts.

Papa

[SuperTed]

Guys,

I've never done this before, but I thought I'd stop by and say:

Hi!

That is all.

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Athkatla:

Send me to Coventry if you wish, Joes Squaw, see if I care. I indicated to all you fat old fools earlier as to what was my purpose on this thread, and nothings changed. Do with me what you will, I will still trivialise your mutterings and heap piles of stinking rabbit poo upon your heads

Well, anyone who takes cheese with their plum bread, don flat caps and while away the evenings with the competative loss and return of pigeons has some worth. Anyone who takes in the spires of Killingholme or the clear blue waters of Immingham and return safely has merit.

For with such men of breeding the taunt will be fulsome and plump like a good sausage. Uncouth and lacking in refinement, perhaps, but by gawd, they're tasty and not wanting for offal.

But if our Northern native is actively seeking Coventry and wishes to ignore the traditions of the MBT then there will be no turning the fellow back. The whippet will run its course (via Scunthorpe and quite possibly Doncaster) to be forever circulating Coventry's ringroads. Such aimless and forgotten activity will not be unknown, Blundell Park offers similar futility.

These folk are steadfast and stubborn, weathered among shifting sandbanks and rolling wolds. Bleedin' good donkey country.

Make yer choice, Athkatla.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[ July 13, 2002, 02:37 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by SuperTed:

I've never done this before, but I thought I'd stop by and say: Hi!

That's nice. Just leave your wallet on the table as you leave.

Bye!

No seriously, bye!

You still here?

bye!!!

Sheesh.

Mace

btw I would like to congratulate Sir Harv. I know he's a no good, low down, nong Canadian, and he makes me in comparison look truly wonderful, but he no doubt deserves his promotion (especially after paying the Justicar quite a substantial stipend).

[**YK2**]

Nice start to the new thread Joe have you taken a chill pill or somefink? You actually sound quite calm lately.

It's been a while since Iv'e read a post from you that didn't sound like you were shouting at someone

Yep prepare for an influx of newbies your opening post will no doubt fill those Lurkers and Outer Boarders with enough confidence to at least pop in and say "hi" ....

BTW Congratulations to Sir Harv (I think) guess I'll have to bow when talking to you now

And hello and welcome to SuperTed first time in the POOL eh!! at least you got here early before it fills up with bile nothing worse than slipping in that stuff and falling flat on your face on the way out

P.S. Lots of smilies added in honoUr of an appearance from Peng

:cool:

Edited to give Sir Harv his full title...

Thanks Mace

[ July 13, 2002, 04:22 AM: Message edited by: YK2 ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by YK2:

Edited to give Sir Harv his full title...

Thanks Mace

You're welcome, lady YK2.

No wucking forries as we so charmingly say down here!

Mace

Ps I used a smiley and I feel somewhat liberated!

WheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee!

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Athkatla:

Send me to Coventry if you wish, Joes Squaw, see if I care. I indicated to all you fat old fools earlier as to what was my purpose on this thread, and nothings changed. Do with me what you will, I will still trivialise your mutterings and heap piles of stinking rabbit poo upon your heads

Well, anyone who takes cheese with their plum bread, don flat caps and while away the evenings with the competative loss and return of pigeons has some worth. Anyone who takes in the spires of Killingholme or the clear blue waters of Immingham and return safely has merit.

For with such men of breeding the taunt will be fulsome and plump like a good sausage. Uncouth and lacking in refinement, perhaps, but by gawd, they're tasty and not wanting for offal.

But if our Northern native is actively seeking Coventry and wishes to ignore the traditions of the MBT then there will be no turning the fellow back. The whippet will run its course (via Scunthorpe and quite possibly Doncaster) to be forever circulating Coventry's ringroads. Such aimless and forgotten activity will not be unknown, Blundell Park offers similar futility.

These folk are steadfast and stubborn, weathered among shifting sandbanks and rolling wolds. Bleedin' good donkey country.

Make yer choice, Athkatla.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock</font>

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by athkatla:

if we taunt one of you buggars, we bloody well mean it!.

There was never any question of that. If you would just learn to fawn disqustingly once in a while (to the right personages) everything would be all right.

[Joe Shaw]

It's a damned good thing for you lot that I've some steel in my backbone. I've never seen such a bunch of wimps in my life.

Still, if it's the wish of the group that athoverteakatla be given another chance then I bow to the collective wisdom (as IF) and reluctantly withdraw my Coventry recommendation.

And I suppose that we can accept him as Serf TO THE CESSPOOL mind, with first rights of refusal to ... who was it anyway? It was on the other thread and I'll be damned if I'll expend the energy required to look it up.

Still, a bit more appreciation for the traditions of the CessPool and the august beings who inhabit it would go a long way toward ensuring that his tenure as Serf is ... more pleasant, shall we say? There are worse things than living in one or another village in England ... not MANY granted but I'm sure we can think of something.

Finally I note with approval that he is actually OLDER than me ... so perhaps this is all for the best.

Joe

p.s. Fair Lady YK2, good to see you again milady. As to my temperment, it's not easy keeping these chowderheads in line and, well, sometimes the stress of the job, the SSNs, the deadlines of the Tourney ... you know how it is.

[Harv]

I {sniff} just don't know what to say. This is the proudest day in my life. A Knight of the Pool...Me!

I'd just like to take this time to thank everyone who has worked so hard to get me here....my parents (for not successfully drowning me as a child...they tried though, they really tried), my cats (for not smothering me in my sleep...they tried though, they really tried), Dolly the blow-up sheep (no Mace you can't have her back!)....mmmm...sheep....mmmmm.....ummmm, where was I...oh right...and of course my now former leige Sir Joe Shaw, for without him this could never have happened. In other words...blame Joe.

So here, without further adieu, and to sum up, briefly, and to bring a quick end to my post, and in a nutshell, are some more of those keep you on the edge of your seat waiting for the next installment gamey updates...

Simon might actually lose one to me. Cheating bastiche...how dare he attempt to ruin my perfect record against him. 4 turns left though, and I still have enough arty to decimate my own troops if necessary.

Lurker is still hiding in the woods seemingly determined to lose yet another to me! Cheating bastiche. 5 turns left though, and even though I still have enough arty to decimate my own troops if necessary, my PIATs don't understand the gravity of the situation and won't shoot at my own tanks.

Mace is sending turns at a rate of slightly slower than stopped, so this match could be lit...errr...go either way yet. Probably the way of the Dodo.

<big>Former</big> Squire to Sir Joe Shaw

Defender of Shavian House

[Simon Elwen]

Hello Everybody , I do hope you are all well this fine and sunny day

A note to my liege Sir Mace a lifelike image will be soon winging its way to Lady P

I have decided to be nice and so have allowed the following to be defeated by me Noba , Lars , Lurker , if you would be so kind as to update your scroll Lorak that would be lovely wouldn't it .

In addition I would like to say jolly well done to Sir Harv on his recent pro/de motion , although he may well win back his mooseherd , his sheep are safe with myself and my liege Sir Mace , well as safe as they can be I suppose .

I won't spend time describing poor Lurkers attempt at his masters quest , it would be too painful for him to read about .

A J and myself continue to battle it out for the pension books of my old uns .

Well that will do for now , have a nce day you all

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

It's a damned good thing for you lot that I've some steel in my backbone. I've never seen such a bunch of wimps in my life.

Still, if it's the wish of the group that athoverteakatla be given another chance then I bow to the collective wisdom (as IF) and reluctantly withdraw my Coventry recommendation.

And I suppose that we can accept him as Serf TO THE CESSPOOL mind, with first rights of refusal to ... who was it anyway? It was on the other thread and I'll be damned if I'll expend the energy required to look it up.

Still, a bit more appreciation for the traditions of the CessPool and the august beings who inhabit it would go a long way toward ensuring that his tenure as Serf is ... more pleasant, shall we say? There are worse things than living in one or another village in England ... not MANY granted but I'm sure we can think of something.

Finally I note with approval that he is actually OLDER than me ... so perhaps this is all for the best.

Joe

p.s. Fair Lady YK2, good to see you again milady. As to my temperment, it's not easy keeping these chowderheads in line and, well, sometimes the stress of the job, the SSNs, the deadlines of the Tourney ... you know how it is.

Hmmm, Joes Squaw perhaps I have been, how should we say, a little harsh with you, as it seems that you might be wise beyond your rather tender years! Maybe I should pander a little to your crazy whims and help to keep you poor souls happy. Mind you, I won't be beasted, you hear? I won't, godamnit I will not.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by athkatla:

Hmmm, Joes Squaw perhaps I have been, how should we say, a little harsh with you, as it seems that you might be wise beyond your rather tender years! Maybe I should pander a little to your crazy whims and help to keep you poor souls happy. Mind you, I won't be beasted, you hear? I won't, godamnit I will not.

Oh no athkatla, not beasted, merely piss boy to the entire CessPool. Keep the pail clean and empty it regularly ... I really enjoy the zing of a good healthy pee against a clean zinc pail ... call me a romantic I guess.

Joe

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

But at long last it's done and I introduce to the CessPool ... Sir Harv Knight of the CessPool.

Congratulations Sir Harv! (Even though we all know you are Joe's imaginary friend, {snicker, snicker})

Persephone

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

It's a damned good thing for you lot that I've some steel in my backbone.

Goes with that big metal plate in your head then, eh Joe? And those replacement hips and knees and, um, "other things" you've got; did you get those before plastics were invented or after?

Better be careful, Joe, you're going to start setting off the metal detectors when you drive past the airport.

Papa

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

Hmmm, Joes Squaw perhaps I have been, how should we say, a little harsh with you, as it seems that you might be wise beyond your rather tender years! Maybe I should pander a little to your crazy whims and help to keep you poor souls happy. Mind you, I won't be beasted, you hear? I won't, godamnit I will not.

Oh no athkatla, not beasted, merely piss boy to the entire CessPool. Keep the pail clean and empty it regularly ... I really enjoy the zing of a good healthy pee against a clean zinc pail ... call me a romantic I guess.

Joe</font>

[rleete]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

I'm not greedy. Just forget about everyone else and send me what I need. For instance, A "FECKING" TURN.

As a matter of fact, it often works better to actually do the sending yourself, when it is your damn move, Pop Korn. I don't give a rat's a$$ (which is far better than you deserve, anyway), what you want. I want to live a life of decadent luxury, but it ain't gonna happen, either.

Boo Radley, have you gotten that damn ISP sorted out, yet? As were about 2 turns away from autosurrender (who knows which side), maybe you'd like to get this Croda monstrosity over and done with?

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by athkatla:

Hmmm, Joes Squaw perhaps I have been, how should we say, a little harsh with you, as it seems that you might be wise beyond your rather tender years! Maybe I should pander a little to your crazy whims and help to keep you poor souls happy. Mind you, I won't be beasted, you hear? I won't, godamnit I will not.

Marvellous, fine... er, excellent. Are yer sure you want to do this?

I mean, I expected, well... er, never mind - off with you and do Serfy things and mind yer betters, especially the Ladies of the Pool.

Oh, and report on yer battles with something vaguely literate or authentic. No good in hoping for something original, just authentic.

You HAVE read the rules?

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[ July 13, 2002, 11:24 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[athkatla]

{deleted cos it's irrelevant}

Originally posted by somebody or other:<HR>

Boo Radley, have you gotten that damn ISP sorted out, yet? As were about 2 turns away from autosurrender (who knows which side), maybe you'd like to get this Croda monstrosity over and done with?<HR>

He's too busy learning French for his inevitable surrender speech when I have finally whupped him.