Joe Shaw Posted July 17, 2002 Author Share Posted July 17, 2002 Panzer Leader your "review" of the First Semi-Irregular CessPool House Tourney confirms the following: (Phoenix Sucks) If you DON'T like it then it's bound to be worthwhile. (Mostly on account of how it's HOT here) The fact that you LIKE well-balanced and researched scenarios is just disgusting. (But also on account of how hotels just suck in general) You're pretty disgusting too. (But REALLY on account of how I'm limited to a stupid dial up connection on this antique laptop) I'm just disgusted with Sgt. Schlitz too. Joe p.s. Greetings from Sunny Phoenix ... wish you were here ... and I wasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Game....Lars ...AntiTourney... Crickets... damned crickets.... ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Greetings from Sunny Phoenix. I miss you Joey. Hurry back sweet cheeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: w00t! It's fun to beat Aussie Jeff about the head with a mackeral. Next battle, I am thinking of using a tuna.So, by THAT logic, I take it you were HORRIFIED, MORTIFIED and PETRIFIED (maybe that should read putrified, for a Pantieless Bleeder) when you were THRASHED MERCILESSLY to the point of ABJECT SLOBBERING at the feet of my victorious Forces of Floss<SUP>tm</SUP> in our very recently completed last game??? Oh, you were?? GOOD!! With such sweet memories still awash in my superior tactical brain, your imminent (and no doubt very minor) "win" over my Flossylads who always had an uphill battle in this one shall cause me no pain at all, at all. Fire away. Your choc-coated bullets are rather tasty..... Sir AJ <BIG>EXTREMELY PROUD KANIGGET OF HOUSE BERLI!!</BIG> <SMALL>[Done purely to annoy that cheap French solicitor Mrs Spruiker, who is still afraid of what revenge I might wreak upon his/her pixelpansies] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: Game....Lars ...AntiTourney... Crickets... damned crickets.... ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............<BIG>CRICKET!!! W00t!!</BIG> Did somebody mention CRICKET?? What's the score? Who's playing? I bet the Aussies are winning again! Is Gilly batting? Is Warnie bowling? Quick, Daddles gimme some CRICKET INFO!! AJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Mah E-mail account SERKS BIGTAHM - IT RALLY DOOS - an' if'n ah don't fix it so's AJ's superiah turns stop a'bouncin', ah jest knows ahm a'gonnna get mah butt whupped!! My sentiments exactly!! FIX THE SUCKER!! AJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 3 posts in a row there AJ. Obviously your'e too busy posting to send a feck'in turn! Or have you simply run out of crews to lead your attack (or whats left of it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Mah E-mail account SERKS BIGTAHM - IT RALLY DOOS - an' if'n ah don't fix it so's AJ's superiah turns stop a'bouncin', ah jest knows ahm a'gonnna get mah butt whupped!! My sentiments exactly!! FIX THE SUCKER!! AJ</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by AussieJeff: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Mah E-mail account SERKS BIGTAHM - IT RALLY DOOS - an' if'n ah don't fix it so's AJ's superiah turns stop a'bouncin', ah jest knows ahm a'gonnna get mah butt whupped!! My sentiments exactly!! FIX THE SUCKER!! AJ</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Piss Boy Game Updates: Bo Diddley is cowering behind his puter, pants soiled, and gibbering to himself, " I shouldn't have played the serf, he's shat all over me". FOGS and his soon-to-meet-his-maker mutt, are busy shelling the hell out of every place on the map where my troops aren't! CM_Player and I are staggering around in the dark, in Joes Squaw stupid tourney, with piss poor troops and visibility down to about 10m! Dug "The Pug" Berman is busily trying to sort out a QB for us with some sidekick of his, Gooner or summat, picking the map. Sounds fishy to me!! Where is My Brave Sir "4 Legged" Knight? A day without his prescence gracing this thread is a day lost to eternity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: p.s. Greetings from Sunny Phoenix ... wish you were here.While in Phoenix, be sure to take advantage of the many amenities on offer. Particularly, the wholesome, healthful sunshine. Be sure to bask in the full rays of our life-giving star at its highest point, around noon. No need to overdo it, just, two hours from 11 to 1 should be all you need. Avoid those nasty, chemical sunscreens, as they are nasty chemicals. One thing, avoid the water. If anybody should offer you anything to drink, politely refuse. You'll be a glowing picture of health in no time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Yeknod also has failed repeatedly to return the file for our game, which I dub "Yeknod's Futile Attempt to Win a Battle by Gamiest Means Necessary." I believe the seniority has gone to his head, caused him to see stars, and now he sits confusedly on his rump, wondering why Joe Shaw's severed arm is hanging from his mouth as he introspecively chews.* *Arm's owner can be determined by cheap knock-off Rolex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: ]Can you cut the cackle Bo Diddley and send the fecking turn!! Or are you too frightened, as it's the last turn, and you are wary of being humiliated in defeat by this lowly serf?OK. Let's go over this one more time, because evidently explaining it to you twice, wasn't enough to get it to sink into that dense mass of vegetable matter that passes for a head on you. Are we sitting down? Good. Have we taken our Ritalin this morning so that our concentration span is a wee bit greater than a gerbil on methamphetamines? Good. I live in the United States. The time zone I occupy is the Eastern Daylight Zone it is different from the Greenwich Mean Time Zone. It is five (5) hours later in the day than the GMT. Therefore, many times when you are sitting in front of your computer, nervously biting your fingernails thinking, ["Why won't he send me a move? Don't he love me no more?", I might be sleeping, or at work even. Right at this very minute, I'm doing both! So, what have you learned, Dorothy? (Other than the fact that you're a pointless git?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: CM_Player and I are staggering around in the dark, in Joes Squaw stupid tourney, with piss poor troops and visibility down to about 10m! I'd like to add that this is the most humiliating experience I've ever had in a game of CM and I consider it de fault of Joe. Night! Heavy Fog! What is this? I'll post some of the most embarrassing mishaps with pictures as soon as I've dispatched of this 'athkatla' (who's taking it up his own personal Firth of Forth quite cheerily I might add) [ July 17, 2002, 10:53 AM: Message edited by: CMplayer ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: No need to overdo it, just, two hours from 11 to 1 should be all you need. No, no, no! 12-2 to account for daylight savings. Only the best is good enough for our Joe. [ July 17, 2002, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: CMplayer ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by R_Leete: Mrspkr, either send a turn, or a new setup. You ain't getting paid by the hour on this one.Check the fine print on that one. I always get paid by the hour. Contingency fees are like icing on the cake. Turns out this weekend, hopefully, if new computer rig comes in. Otherwise sometime early next week. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone: Want to see Andreas dance? Check it out! PersephoneI did M'Lady. I must say that he man has the moves, but he needs to work on his expressions. His face ran the emotional gamut from A to B. I expected something a little more...saucy?</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Yeknod also has failed repeatedly to return the file for our game, which I dub "Yeknod's Futile Attempt to Win a Battle by Gamiest Means Necessary." I believe the seniority has gone to his head, caused him to see stars, and now he sits confusedly on his rump, wondering why Joe Shaw's severed arm is hanging from his mouth as he introspecively chews.* *Arm's owner can be determined by cheap knock-off Rolex.Maybe Yeknod isn't feeling so well after chewing on Joe's arm...probably food poisoning. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla: ]Can you cut the cackle Bo Diddley and send the fecking turn!! Or are you too frightened, as it's the last turn, and you are wary of being humiliated in defeat by this lowly serf?OK. Let's go over this one more time, because evidently explaining it to you twice, wasn't enough to get it to sink into that dense mass of vegetable matter that passes for a head on you. Are we sitting down? Good. Have we taken our Ritalin this morning so that our concentration span is a wee bit greater than a gerbil on methamphetamines? Good. I live in the United States. The time zone I occupy is the Eastern Daylight Zone it is different from the Greenwich Mean Time Zone. It is five (5) hours later in the day than the GMT. Therefore, many times when you are sitting in front of your computer, nervously biting your fingernails thinking, ["Why won't he send me a move? Don't he love me no more?", I might be sleeping, or at work even. Right at this very minute, I'm doing both! So, what have you learned, Dorothy? (Other than the fact that you're a pointless git?)</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkur Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 [A disheveled figure covered in grime and straw staggers in.] Did you call milord? I would apologize for my tardiness except that it would be seen as a sign of weakness and the jackals that prowl here would rush in. Suffice it to say that I have been tag-teamed by my RealLife™ opponents: Too-Much-Work and the nefarious Home-Improvement-Chores laid on me by SHE WHO WILL NOT BE DELAYED. I had to take on crack tasks using only my green and conscript carpentry skills. I was victorious, but it was not pretty. Have you a task for me? Alas, I must confirm Slime-on's victory over my South Dakotan pig-raised corn dogs. The Greenies just didn't have it in them to fight for more than 30 seconds at a time. How often I heard, "What? MORE Germans? That's it, I quit!" And moments later they would be gunned down while the Huns laughed like orcs. Oh, and here's a hint for all you kids out there from your uncle Lurkur. Unlike regular artillery, which tends to land in an area clustered around a specific point, Green artillery tends to land in the pattern of a doughnut, neatly falling all around the thing you are trying to hit! On top of this, my opponent was able to purchase some slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (By the way, where *does* one purchase that in CMBO? I kept looking under artillery but couldn't find it). My favorite moment was when my two 155 arty observers went from okay to dead in 2 seconds trying to cross a 20 m stretch of ground and coming under fire from a machine gun and a sniper from 400+ meters out. Unbefeckinbelievable. In short, my green troops were unworthy on my tactical brilliance. That horrid Mr. Illwind has agreed to a rematch, only this time I will be using real troops, and can manfully lose the match proper-like. Slimon Elfin-you dreadful, bloated hemorrhoid. Your weaseling ways of warfare will not save you this time. Gird yourself for battle, for this time I shall play the role of the vicious, hobnail-jackbooted bosche, assisted by the comely überspy Nadia, and you shall be the tea-sipping, parade-ground prancing, "Don't bleed on me good uniform" Pommies. Prepare to have your spleen ripped from your bowels, watch it be fashioned into a bagpipe and be forced to dance at your own defeat!! I will be sending a setup! I'm thinking armoured meeting engagement, gaminess levels to be discussed. Harv and I are playing a little match. He has artillery-I have none. He has tanks, I have none. My set up area is a thin line around the edge of the field of battle. In short, it is the tactical equivalent of "How Not to Be Seen," the part where there are three bushes. And he gloats about doing so well, the pustule. Speaking of Harv, make that Sir Harv, I am pleased as punch to see him de-elevated to the stature of Kannighit. I used to call him a gravy-sucking pig out of pure contempt. Now I call him a gravy-sucking pig with all the respect that is due his office. Pah! Lurk [ July 17, 2002, 12:50 PM: Message edited by: Lurkur ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah! Ooh, mummy mummy, I feel a bit cranky now, Please put me down for my nap! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah. The rest of you can SOD OFF too!For lunch today I had some fried rice. It was quite tasty and just the thing to get me through the rest of the day until supper time, without being too "heavy" and making me feel sluggish. The reason i tell you all this is because the converstaion I had WITH my fried rice was richer, more rewarding, more full of subtle nuances and witty reparte than I could ever hope to get with the above quoted (sound of a cat coughing up a hair ball). From now on, when I picture him in my mind (an unsavory concept in itself), I will always see him as the Mr. Gumby character in Monty Python. Sitting there with his striped, pull-over sweater vest. A knotted hanky on his head, pounding his closed fists on his keyboard, attempting in any way possible to communicate what passes for thoughts in the dim recesses of his turnip shaped head. You can all see him now, can't you? My work here is finished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: (Mass snippage of this and that. It was mostly drivel having to do with what an enormous dolt assmaster is. Despite the fact that it was true, it wasn't worth further consideration) My work here is finished.So you'll be sodding off then? Papa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 Originally posted by Papa Khann: My work here is finished. So you'll be sodding off then? PapaNot until you are shown to be the capering buffoon that I know in my heart you are. So, how do ya like them apples. Pepe LePew? And in another section of the CessPool, Boo's squire, Lurker makes a cameo appearance. Let's watch, shall we? Originally posted by Lurker: [A disheveled figure covered in grime and straw staggers in.] Did you call milord? I would apologize for my tardiness except that it would be seen as a sign of weakness and the jackals that prowl here would rush in. Suffice it to say that I have been tag-teamed by my RealLife™ opponents: Too-Much-Work and the nefarious Home-Improvement-Chores laid on me by SHE WHO WILL NOT BE DELAYED. I had to take on crack tasks using only my green and conscript carpentry skills. I was victorious, but it was not pretty. Have you a task for me? Nothing right now, lad, just curious as to how many battles you've fought as a squire to House Croda? Wondering how soon I may lower you to the status (?) of Knight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkur Posted July 17, 2002 Share Posted July 17, 2002 I have completed 3 battles against Sir Harv (Pah!) and lost all three. Well, four actually if you count Jabos! brrrrr, Jabos! I defeated Noba with my green troops as part of my quest. Also as part of my quest, my Greenies defeated me, and Simon took credit. Finally, I was utterly defeated in my attempt to write Mormon Justice. Not actually a battle, but it had all the humiliation and scorn of one. [ July 17, 2002, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: Lurkur ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted July 18, 2002 Share Posted July 18, 2002 BOOT Nearly off the 1st page, damnit!! TURN, BO then sod off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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