Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

[Joe Shaw]

The CESSPOOL OFFICIAL RULES

(ii) Let's cut to the chase here, shall we … SOD OFF!

(XIV) Aha, one of THOSE are we? Dense as a brick no doubt and with an incomplete sense of What's Right. Well allow me to clarify then … SOD OFF NOW!

(1.43) If you don't know FOR SURE that you belong here and are One Of US, then you are NOT and you are, in fact, an SSN, a Scum Sucking Newbie and there is nothing in this world or the next that is lower than you. You should really leave now. You will be ridiculed, derided, scoffed at, disparaged, mocked and disdained and THAT will be if we're in a GOOD mood. You shouldn't let this happen to you, you should just ... SOD OFF!

(ref. e) Now I've no doubt whatever that you are droll beyond comparison … I've also no doubt that you drool beyond belief and if you think you'd fit in here anyway YOU ARE WRONG SO SOD OFF.

( Haven't you SODDED OFF yet? This DOES get tiresome you know. Oh you're not the first, not even the Eleventy First as Bilbo might say. And we tell them all the same thing, to wit (or some portion of that amount in YOUR case), this is the PENG CHALLENGE THREAD, the operative word being CHALLENGE! Therefore, if you choose not to Sod Off, and we DO encourage that option most strongly, Challenge someone … that's some ONE PERSON, not the CessPool as a Hole … to a game of CM. Otherwise we'll know that you are here just to dip your little toe in the water and then scurry off back to the outerboard and tell your friends with a disdainful sniff that you've been in the CessPool, donchaknow, wasn't much and you decided not to stick around.

{You have TWO choices, which would be equivalent to the number of nostrils you have available for delving into with your fingers, either post your email and general location in your profile or SOD OFF! We don't accept strangers in these parts and you're about as strange as they come (bracket ommited for clarity)

{34} WHEN you challenge, assuming that you don't just Sod Off, challenge an SSN … maybe a Squire, but your challenge of a Knight will be ignored as beneath their notice which it of course is. Post your AARs, for it is by your words that you will be judged and deemed, in your case, to be EMINENTLY UNWORTHY. Some OTHER SSN, not you certainly, may attract the notice of a Knight and MIGHT be proposed to be Serf. After that the Sun could, I suppose, rise in the West OR, alternatively, THAT serf might be chosen as Squire to said Knight. After that … well, let's not get ahead of ourselves shall we? You'll be Sodding Off shortly in any case once you realize what a loathsome creature you really are.

{Uiv} SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR! You SHOULD sound off to your opponents and to those whom you'd challenge. But sound off with some humor for the love of Pete or Gawd as you choose. We are looking for MEN of a certain ... STYLE, men of WIT, men of HUMOR ... and women … well, just women would cover it I think.

{87/87) Do NOT sound off ABOUT your pair. We tolerate no racial, sexual, political or ethnic crusades ... only good old-fashioned PERSONAL attacks.

{We've had people who wandered in, posted once or twice and were never seen again. In MOST cases this a GOOD thing and an option you should consider, never been seen again that is. If, however, you expect to be a part of the CessPool … and YOU certainly shouldn't … then be aware that you will expected to contribute to the community on a regular basis. You should make us laugh, chortle, giggle (in the case of Bauhaus and guffaw. This is your task … YOU will fail, so best just to SOD OFF.} 1.

{vii} Have Half A Brain, this will be a stretch for most SSNs but give it a shot. When (or in YOUR case on the rare occassion IF) you taunt someone, make it memorable ... otherwise, HELLO, we won't remember you.

{Don't} think that just because you're good at CM that you have a place HERE! We don't care ... we care about taunting, insulting and generally being Gamey, underhanded swine. That's right ... GAMEY ... we LIKE GAMEY because the Outerboards DON'T.

{([])} One final word of warning, SOD OFF!

[Panzer Leader]

Ahhh, such heady days those were, back when I was the host of the Mutha beautiful. Why, even Geier thought good enough to post (On page 2 no less!)

Ah well, all good things must come to pass. Now, back to the Justicator and his Spanish Inquistion.

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[Speedy]

What are you doing here Joe get back to hyperlobby where you belong.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Ahhh, such heady days those were, back when I was the host of the Mutha beautiful. Why, even Geier thought good enough to post (On page 2 no less!)

Ah well, all good things must come to pass. Now, back to the Justicator and his Spanish Inquistion.<hr></blockquote>Hah! Didn't expect THAT did you!

Your thread(s), btw, were an abomination. Some of the worst threads in the history of the MBT and with, I might add and in fact I shall, some of the most unfortunate incidents as well. All nothing less than we expected from a thread hosted by you.

Now we are back to a proper Joe Shaw hosted THREAD ... AND BY GAWD THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT! ... enjoy.

Joe

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

Wankers.<hr></blockquote>

Oh, how I hate you (from afar, damn your eyes).

I also hate the rest of you. I even hate Hiram, for is he not a friend of the Elvii? Is he not also, then, deserving of hate? Eyore was the Pooh character I hated most. He deserved not pity, nor comiseration, for his sad lot in life was due chiefly to his own attitude.

Whom else do I hate?

I hate OGSF for slowing me in the snow so that it is difficult to exit the Ass-noise map.

I hate Roborat for dying too easily.

I hate Moriarty for shelling the feck out of an immobilized Pz-IV with two 105 field guns.

I hate Sledge59 for attacking my flank, and becoming a squire to Seanachai.

I hate all the rest of you too, but not so much.

[Gates-slut]

Of which Peng Challenge thread do you speak, oh Justicar?

The young, thin and exciting MBT? or the fat old drug addled and pathetic MBT?

edit EFFING UBB CODE DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT

[ 01-27-2002: Message edited by: Gates-slut ]</p>

[Leeo]

I hate gates-slut most of all.

Viva Le Peng!

[BFCElvis]

Dear LEON,

I do consider Hiram a friend. And my kind does not take kindly of your kind hating my kind. Say you're sorry or I will call you a bad name.

Love,

Elvis

[Goanna]

This is a tender time in a new thread and we wouldn't want to start it off on a wrong note after Mr. Xia did such and amirable job (for an old pedant) of setting the proper tone.

With that in mind, I'd just like to say to a hearty Sucked In! to all those Philadelphia Buzzard fans who stuck in their all year only to be shafted in the end. Keep your chins up lads, the Phillies will be great this year for sure - NOT!

Ahem. I now return you to your previously scheduled taunting.

[Sledge59]

NEWS FLASH, ALBUQUERQUE WORLD NEWS:

"Battlefront announced today that it will not model the Peng Challenge Thread in CMBB at all unless MrPeng gets his name back, post haste."

This is serious business, folks. Let's get this conspiracy conviction over with, shall we?

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

Dear LEON,

I do consider Hiram a friend. And my kind does not take kindly of your kind hating my kind. Say you're sorry or I will call you a bad name.

Love,

Elvis<hr></blockquote>

Really, Elvis? Well I consider Hiram to be the son I never had. I'm sorry, Hiram, but I do. Except for the whole homophobic thing. I think you should just get over that.

As for Leeo: lad, I think you're wrong about Eeyore. He was one of the clearest thinkers in the Milne books. Milne's Universe was deterministic, and, as a put upon ass, Eeyore did not rail against what he knew to be his place in the Universe. He might complain about his lot, but he knew that no betterment was possible.

I sincerely hope that Sir Hiram, Eeyore of the MBT (I wanted to dub him the Knight of the Woeful Countenance, ala 'Man of La Mancha', but, as usual, I was ignored, over-ridden, done down, and buggered. Still, 'Eeyore of the MBT' is pretty much the same thing as Knight of the Woeful Countenance, so I shant complain. Much), is not relegated to a two dimensional treatment by the Universe. Indeed, I venture the opinion that such is already the case.

Hiram, I wish you all the best in kicking the hideous habit of smoking. Anyone who's ever had the experience of hearing Berli wake up in their living room and begin the process of kick-starting the breathing process would not wish it on a cat.

Strangely, smoking is the only vice the ÜberGnome never acquired. I believe I had every other one possible, but never that one.

Elvis, I take it that the Eagles charged out on to the field of battle, voided their bowels, and so we are now safe for another season from pointless posturing?

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

With that in mind, I'd just like to say to a hearty Sucked In! to all those Philadelphia Buzzard fans who stuck in their all year only to be shafted in the end. <hr></blockquote>

Bit like the Geelong Cats really!

Mace

[Panzer Leader]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

... as a put upon ass...<hr></blockquote>

nevermind

[Goanna]

OOOooooooooo, now that's dirty pool Mace, you festering pustule. No fair doing research and then remembering it you bloody bureaucrat. Here I am, having a fine old time putting the boot into Elvis & Hiram and you have to go and blindside me like that.

Edited because of my blind rage over the premature interruption of my current kick-the-helpless-puppy episode. Dammit Mace don't you have a backyard to clean up or some chores down there today!?

[ 01-27-2002: Message edited by: Goanna ]</p>

[Seanachai]

Now, on to new business.

Shaw, a slightly long-winded but extremely thorough and readable treatment of the rules. For hapless little idjits who just wandered in, please remember to visit the first post of this Thread. There you shall be shown the light.

Also, oh Justicar, how stands my intent to take Sledge59 as Squire? I, at least, have no intent of trifling with the many, varied, inconsistent, whimsical, contradictory, ever-changing, and pulled-out-of-a-hat traditions of the Peng Challenge Thread.

Can I declare Sledge a Serf, and then take him as Squire (which is most certainly my intent), or do I have to get some other being involved in the process? Inquiring Olde Ones want to know.

Persephone, I shall most certainly send you my Lamb Stew recipe, and would have done so already, except that it's not actually written down anywhere. Each time I make it, I just buy something similar to the correct ingredients, and take them into the kitchen, stand there with them for a while, and then begin to cook. I will send the recipe on as soon as I have a second to stand there in the kitchen and sort out the process.

Berli, by the way, has been quite unpleasant about the idea of stewed sheep in his home, but I know he'll come around as soon as he tastes it. Really, come now, Berli, I would think, given your background, and the whole 'Lamb of God' thing, you'd be quite keen on well-seasoned Lamb Stew. Is this some sort of residual manifestation of remorse?

On that note, whenever I and my friends have visited any of the world's art museums, we have attempted to find a painting of Christ with a dog, and I can't remember encountering one yet. Plenty of barnyard animals, prey animals, and 'soon to be in a tasty stew' animals, but no dogs. Anyone know of artwork with the Son 'O God and a dog? I don't trust any sodding deity that's never been pictured with a cavorting dog. Like those paintings by the Dutch Masters. You look at them, and every one has a dog in there somewhere, setting the tone of the whole painting.

Seriously, if you know of one, preferably by a classic painter, send on info about it. I'd really love to have an oil triptych of Jesus playing frisbee with a golden retreiver, but anything would be appreciated.

[Croda]

Patriots Won.

You Steelers Fans Suck My Infected Toe.

If you are not a Steelers Fan, you don't need to suck anything different from what you normally might suck on.

Sorry about them Eaglets...I had hoped to whoop up on them in New Orleans.

In game news, I am beating the everloving duck-crap out of Hiram, Dalem. and Terence sans Philip.

Ha Ha.

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Anyone know of artwork with the Son 'O God and a dog? I don't trust any sodding deity that's never been pictured with a cavorting dog.<hr></blockquote>

I think I saw an ad in an old TV Guide once for a painting of four saviors playing poker. And I rented a video once that had a nun and a dog in it. Do either of those count?

And Croda, you need to check with your lead platoon to see if they think that you are 'winning'. If you can find any of them with enough muscle fiber still connected to crank their field phones up, that is.

Silly Croda.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Can I declare Sledge a Serf, and then take him as Squire (which is most certainly my intent), or do I have to get some other being involved in the process? Inquiring Olde Ones want to know. <hr></blockquote> Yes.

Oh all right. The process was initially designed to allow a Knight to promote a promising lad or lass out of the mire of SSNness into the mire of Serfdom. This was done to allow us further time to evaluate the Serf. Then, from the pool of Serfs, a Knight was allowed to choose a Squire.

In past cases the process has been shortcircuted and both steps taken at once. There is no rule that prohibits this.

HOWEVER ... I think that THIS SSN shows an appalling lack of imagination in the most important choice of all, the name! Let's face it gang, anyone with NUMBERS in their name indicates that they are incapable of coming up with a name that is significantly unique that there aren't 58 others with that same bloody name. We had this problem with Rommel 22 and Dewzell 44 or whatever his name was AND NEITHER WAS WORTH A BREN GUN TRIPOD!

By all means Seanachai, take your Squire (uh, no Bauhaus it's not literal ... at least I hope not) but I have a bad feeling about this one ... nothing good will come of it.

Joe

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis:

Dear LEON,

I do consider Hiram a friend. And my kind does not take kindly of your kind hating my kind. Say you're sorry or I will call you a bad name.

Love,

Elvis<hr></blockquote>

You're sorry or I will call you a bad name.

[Leeo]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Let's face it gang, anyone with NUMBERS in their name indicates that they are incapable of coming up with a name that is significantly unique that there aren't 58 others with that same bloody name. <hr></blockquote>

Well, this certainly precludes him from being squire to Elvis.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

OOOooooooooo, now that's dirty pool Mace[/bEdited because of my blind rage over the premature interruption of my current kick-the-helpless-puppy episode. Dammit Mace don't you have a backyard to clean up or some chores down there today!?<hr></blockquote>

Ich bien ein Cats supporter.

Sad isn't it. Always the brides maid, never the bride.

Oh well, I know we say this all the time but there's always this season.

Mace

[dalem]

Which thread pushed you over the edge, Sunshine?

[Iron Chef Sakai]

I can't beleive it, Joe actualy thought of something funny. (the thread title)

[Sledge59]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

... I think that THIS SSN shows an appalling lack of imagination in the most important choice of all, the name! Let's face it gang, anyone with NUMBERS in their name indicates that they are incapable of coming up with a name that is significantly unique that there aren't 58 others with that same bloody name.

<hr></blockquote>

You know Joe, you've hit on something there. The number on the name is annoying, even if it was a good year. Not being a military man, but having served 25 years as a builder of things; I chose the name Sledge to tie the two worlds together in a word. There was no thought of Peng Challenges, or longevity on the board. After all, how many cyber-communities live two years or more? Not so many I'd think, and that gives credibility to this one.

Perhaps another moniker is in order, and at this early stage it might not have to bend the rules. It's doubtful that there's an Albion on this board, or a zeitgeist, there are just so many possibilities. If one should really get stuck for ideas, even a real name could be used; eh Joe?